What is Love?
Description: Gaara experiences affection while annoying the utter hell out of Temari, who's plan was to originally confuse our poor Gaara backfires quite hilariously! Reverse psychology, people... you've got to love it. This is set in Naruto: Shippuden Gaiden times.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto quite obviously, the genius Kishimoto Masashi does, and I'm positive that I dont own Naruto nor Naruto Shippuden! However, I happen to own the insanity that spews out of my head. I'm sure an idea such as this isnt exactly the most original but you dont see me claiming this idea, do you?
So, basically, this is a short, horribly done oneshot, most likely created at two or so in the morning with lack of brain power and congruent thought. Sorry beforehand if you think this sucks. I fail at writing humor unless it comes in the satire, perverted, or sarcastic varieties. Enjoy.
***
"Oh! Hi, Gaara-kun!" Temari exclaimed upon noticing her brother, giving the redhead an affectionate hug. She'd gotten to see him more often now, after that run-in with the Akatsuki, and after the removal of Shuukaku, Temari had noticed that her dear otouto was struggling with more...human emotions. Temari had never gone as far as to hug the redhead though.
Gaara stood on the spot, shocked, but covered any of his stirred-up emotions before she realized he was, as he always did. ((It's really quite hard to completely conceal all emotion, as it was proving harder for Gaara to do, unless you were lobotomized, and such surgeries do not exist in the land of Naruto. And if they do, not my problem. Moving on.))
"Why did you wrap your arms around me like that, Temari..." Gaara said in a bit of a high-pitched monotone, the slightest amount of befuzzledness in Gaara's jade eyes not escaping the watchful eyes of his oneechan, who prided herself on being able to interpret the unemotional teen's moods by looking into his eyes. Hell, she could read Shikamaru like a book, and the lazy idiot was pretty good at concealing his emotions most of the time.
"It was a hug, Gaara-kun." Temari explained, with a look of sly mischievousness on her face.
But oh boy did she NOT know that she would end up being the victim.
"What is a hug?" Gaara asked, slightly intrigued by this 'hug' business. She'd wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed, but not in a ill-intending way. He'd seen others do it as sign of greeting but never quite paid attention to it.
Was this mysterious 'hug' perhaps, an attack move if necessary? To get in closer to someone.... You could surely kill someone in many different ways, by using your arms around their person. Maybe Temari was simply going crazy...
"It's affection." Temari released her oblivious brother and snickered under her breath.
"What's affection?" Gaara inquired, realizing that Temari was incorporating some twisted bit of personal enjoyment in telling him what a hug was. That known, he decided that he would turn things around just a bit. After all, he was Temari's younger brother, and even if he was emotionless and quiet, he had analyzed his sister for many years.
"Love." Temari stopped snickering and sensed that her little plan was going to backfire on her.
"What is love, neesan? Is it some rare disease?" he asked, adding a bit of nonsense and acting as naive as he could without looking stupid. Love was something he was brutally acquaintanced with... He was going to (but will not realize that he would) enjoy stretching out what the meaning of 'love' is.
"Its... damn it, Gaara... its… how I… care for you and look out for you and appreciate you." Temari gritted her teeth; she hated being made a fool of herself and especially when her manipulations on easy prey like Gaara backfired and made her the used one.
Kankurou walked by, popping his head into the room. "See? I toooold you so, Temari-nee." He grinned evilly and continued down the hall.
Temari shot him two manicured birds and growled a "STFU" in Kankurou's general direction. Smug bastard....
Gaara cleared his throat. It was almost there... Here comes the Temari-overload… "And affection is?"
Temari snarled and screamed, "LOVE!!!! How all those exasperated fangirls scream for you and write stories about you and draw you and practically WORSHIP you!"
Gaara paused.
"...Fangirl? Oh, and Temari, what is love again?"
Hn. Gaara 1, Temari 0. Nice try, Temari.
"AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!" Temari screamed, in frustration and defeat.
Fin.
