Disclaimer: I don't claim to own Rurouni Kenshin. In fact, I DIS claim it.
My interests strayed slightly from fanfiction for a week or two, but I'm back on track and better than ever. I think.
Once I sat down to write this chapter, it all just came out. I hope you like the end result.
Another big thanks to my beta, Liem!
Chapter Three
A Lesson in Desire
Tokyo, Japan
9th Year of Meiji
June 11
I am so overwhelmed, I can scarcely write.
But I feel as if you are the only one I can tell this all to. You have always offered an ear to me, even after all that's happened. I thank you so much for that. Even more, you've never once chosen to divulge any of my tellings to the others, though I don't think I've ever asked you not to.
I thank you for that as well, and know that you will continue to stay so tight-lipped when I tell you this.
Enizu and I have begun courting. It didn't happen the way social customs usually dictate. But then, growing up as I have, living as we had, it wouldn't make much sense for decorum to play a part, would it?
Enizu has so long been the man who took care of me, it seems…wrong, somehow, for that to have changed to suddenly. He has known me since I was a little girl, little enough to question the sky's blueness or wonder at the meaning behind a songbird's tweet.
Is it wrong, somehow, for Enizu to see me as a woman grown…as a desirable young lady?
I don't know anymore.
But how can it possibly be wrong when everything feels so good, so right, when I am beside him?
I miss him most right after he is gone, during those lingering seconds when he has just left my room.
I spent the night with him last night.
When I am with him, I feel as if all the pieces of my life fit together…but I know if I told anyone else about this, anyone but you, they would think it wrong, absurd, sinful in some way.
Would you think that, too?
He gave me something, something that will always remind me of his love. And it is so beautiful, I wish that you could see it. It is an abalone shell, taken from the beaches of China and carved into a beautiful, ornate comb. He said that its beauty is diminutive compared to my own.
I have never thought of myself as a beautiful person, but Enizu makes it so. I feel wonderful, and I hope one day for you to feel this way as well.
With Love,
Naruku
Scrubbing floors was not the only thing Naruku found she was required to do. And though scrubbing floors was among her least favorite chores, the other task she was put on was much more wretched.
All evening she had been serving the tables of fat, rich merchants and their pleasurable company. The men were bawdy and loud, the women beautiful and sly, and it reminded Naruku all too much of the dinners that Kanryuu and Enizu had so graciously held for their associates.
And here she was, almost two years later, playing the docile serving girl again.
She hated it.
Her only consolation was that none of these men paid her any mind. She was dressed in the simple garb of a servant girl, and certainly she wasn't so stunning as to warrant a second glance from any of the guests, not when they had such beautiful and willing girls on their arms.
She watched, near invisible to these strangers, as they laughed and drank and not so discreetly wandered off to their rooms, coming back in quarter hour intervals with mussed hair and disheveled clothes.
Glancing at Momoko, who seemed to be concentrating very hard on the tea she was serving, Naruku wondered briefly if the girl was condemned to the same fate as these women. To live each day only to be an object, a tool for men.
And, heartbreaking to Naruku, she could see the faintest trace of longing in Momoko's eyes. Longing to be as beautiful and as wanted as these women were. Worse yet was how easily Naruku recognized the glint, how much she could remember looking the same way at the women who joined the Takeda brothers' banquets.
She stood back, pausing for a moment in her task, and it seemed as if the scene was somewhere else, that she was looking through a window at it. It was like seeing her past unfold like a fan. And for the first time, nothing hid from her eyes, and she saw only what truly was, not deceived by her own childish intentions.
First the men, their lust, and the women. And then she, that slip of a girl who stood in admiration of it. Wanting to be a part of it.
And how single-mindedly happy she was when Enizu looked at her the same way he looked at those women. Her heart-wrenching need to be wanted, desired, finally sated by these looks.
Was that the price of beauty? To be bound by the desire each day to be looked at, to be appreciated, to be noticed? And then the tiresome burden of holding that attention…
She glanced back at Momoko, who had ceased her staring and caught Naruku's glance. She mimed gagging and disappeared through the doors to the kitchen.
Naruku laughed, a little dryly, and followed her, leaving the lewd men and women behind.
"Momoko-chan," Naruku began, hurrying to catch up to the younger girl. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," was the reply as Momoko set to work on refilling a dish of soy sauce.
"The serving girls here…do they ever, you know, move on to other tasks?" she asked this very guardedly, eyeing Momoko for her reaction.
But she was as calm as ever, tipping the soy sauce into the dish with an almost elegant flourish to her actions.
"Certainly," Momoko answered. "Kiku was recently put in charge of restocking the kitchen."
Naruku paled. Momoko couldn't possibly be so naïve and innocent-minded that she…
Momoko looked up at Naruku and grinned mischievously. Naruku was startled with the striking resemblance she had to another young girl Naruku had once known.
"I'm kidding Naruku-san," Momoko answered, filling another dish with soy sauce. "You are right, many of the serving girls here go on to become one of Mistress Shinju's maidens."
"Shinju's maidens?" Naruku repeated, rather puzzled.
"Prostitutes," Momoko clarified promptly, not looking the slightest bit abashed. "The girls here all aspire to—"
"Aspire?" Naruku repeated once again, this time completely lost for words. "But—I mean—you can't possibly want to live like—like that!"
Naruku was surprised at how outraged she sounded. "I mean," she went on, calming. "Isn't that why Nana-san escaped?"
"I don't know," Momoko replied truthfully, stacking the soy sauce dishes neatly. "She didn't talk to me before she ran off."
"She didn't?" Naruku asked, rushing to Momoko's side with her empty tea tray still in hand. "But surely—"
"Nana-chan and I were very good friends…as good friends as you can be in a place like this. She knew that if she told me, or if I was in any way connected with her escape, I would be punished. She didn't tell me so that when Mistress Shinju questioned me, I wouldn't have to lie. Nana-chan would never do anything to endanger my future."
A future of lies and lust…Naruku thought darkly to herself. When she turned back to Momoko, she found her young friend was already stepping out through the door, back into the bright room with its noisy, libidinous occupants.
Weary, for she had been on her feet all evening, Naruku set down the tea tray with the rest of the dishes and moved over to where the sweet rolls sat, piled high and steaming in a large wicker basket. As she reached for them, so did another hand.
She glanced over, and in doing so, spooked the owner of the other hand, who quickly withdrew into the shadows beneath the counter where she sat.
Naruku knelt, coming eye to eye with the small figure.
"You must be Nana," she said at once, taking in the poor girl's appearance. She was bedraggled and skinny, her brown hair matted down her back. The eyes that blinked through the darkness seemed to match the pair that focused on her, though Nana's were full of misgivings and wariness. Her clothes were unkempt, her lips shaped into what looked almost like a grimace.
All in all, Nana rather reminded Naruku of herself when she had first come to Tokyo.
Nana looked terrified. Tears ran their salty course down her round cheeks. "P-please miss, please don't turn me back in! I…I know they're making you stay here instead of me, but please don't make me go back!"
The thought had not crossed Naruku's mind. Not even in her faintest dreams had she thought to turn this young girl in for her own freedom.
"Why did you come back?" Naruku asked her, placing a comforting hand on the young girl's shoulder.
She sniffled; her tears pouring now uncontrollably down her face. "I…I had to see Momoko again! I wanted her to run away with me…"
"Why?"
"Because she's my best friend!" was the shouted reply. Nana looked at Naruku like she was crazy.
"No," Naruku answered impatiently. "I mean, why are you running away in the first place?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Nana countered, her tears now subsiding somewhat. She took a big gulp of air. "I hate this place. I hate what Mistress Shinju and the others do to me here!"
"What do they do?" Naruku questioned, her eyes growing more and more dark as rage bubbled within her.
"They treat me like an object—like an animal! And I hate it. They said 'You're not skinny enough Nana-chan' and took away my dinner. They said 'Your hair is terribly dull' and rubbed liquid in it that burned my scalp. And now it's 'oh you're so pretty Nana-chan!' 'You're going to get many profits' but I hate that even more. They want to use me, and they want me to like it," she ended her tirade in a growl.
Nana's words struck Naruku like a hot branding rod. She suddenly felt as if she and this girl, this serving wench, were unequivocally linked, despite having only just met.
As fire burned in Naruku's stomach, she realized the origin of her own anger. Her hatred.
She loathed Enizu for many reasons, that she knew. For killing her father, for using her carelessly, a tool for revenge. For trying to kill Kenshin.
But Naruku now understood that the worst of Enizu's crimes had been his deception. For making her believe he loved her…
And with disgust, Naruku came to the conclusion that the worst offense Enizu had committed against her was very much a fault of her own. How easily she had believed his lies, though warned against them many times.
How effortlessly Enizu had turned her into a puppet. She had been seduced by her own, innocent desires.
And here, this girl Nana had broken from all that and risked her life for something better. Something else. She had escaped from her very own Enizu, had protected her mind and her heart from lies she was told, shielded herself until she could escape…
Naruku looked the younger girl straight in the eye and said very seriously, "I am going to get you out of here if it's the last thing I do."
Nana looked at her in awe and complete gratitude. "Oh Miss!" she cried, jolting forward to hug Naruku.
"No time for that," Naruku whispered, though very pleased with the girl's impulsive action. "Stay here."
With that Naruku stood up, straightening her skirt and trying to look as casual as she could.
A plan was forming very rapidly in Naruku's mind as she gathered the sweet rolls basket in her arms and stepped out into the serving hall. Making sure that no one was looking, Naruku deftly slipped two rolls up into the sleeves of her uniform. Smiling brightly she strode forward with the basket, treading lightly around the guests until she came up just behind Momoko.
"In the kitchen," Naruku hissed into Momoko's ear, keeping her docile expression in place. "Nana-chan. Go now and wait for me."
Then with an exaggerated sweep, Naruku put down the basket of rolls and sauntered away, glancing back only once to make sure that Momoko received her instruction.
When she saw the younger girl making a hasty but dignified exit, Naruku turned around and exited the back way, out into the cool night air. She glanced around before breaking out into a run, heading around to the back where the storage shed was, where the whole mess had started.
As she had predicted, the dog from last time, the one who had given her away, sat in the front. He tensed at her arrival, but Naruku quickly fumbled with her sleeves and held out a pilfered roll to him. He sniffed it and then ate it greedily, licking the crumbs off her hand.
"Okay, I hope you liked that," Naruku said to the dog. "Because now you're going to help me by staying quiet."
The dog whined in reply, pressing to Naruku's side and begging for more rolls.
"Hey! You, wench, what are you doing?" It was the man from before, who had caught Naruku and dubbed her Nana. She had come to know him as Takeshi-san, only a smidgen less strict than Mistress Shinju, who he seemed to admire greatly.
"I, um…one of the guests!" Naruku blurted wildly. "He wanted an apple. I was just going to get one…"
"Oh," Takeshi replied. He couldn't risk having one of the guests unsatisfied. "Hurry up, then."
Without answering, Naruku did as she was told, hastening her steps inside the shed.
Once safely inside and sure that Takeshi was gone, Naruku peered at the shelves, trying to make out the shapes and labels of the items. Blindly she grabbed at anything that looked like food. Apples, dried fish and salted seaweed made their way into Naruku's arms.
Arms overflowing with products, Naruku searched around for a sack. She found one filled with some sort of bran (perhaps it was chicken feed?) and she quickly dumped its contents and filled it with the supplies she was gathering.
Once she felt she had gathered sufficient supplies to get Momoko and Nana to the next town, Naruku stashed the bag behind a barrel and made her way back to the inn. Circumventing the dining hall, Naruku dashed up the stairs to the bedroom she shared with four other serving wenches. No one else was there, for they were all down stairs helping with the feast.
Naruku made quick work of the room, hurrying in case anyone noticed she or Momoko were missing. She took out as many clean, plain-colored clothes as she could and stuffed them all inside one of the laundry bags.
She was about to exit when she remembered her sword, hidden beneath one of the floor panels. She unearthed it hastily and tied it back onto her obi, where it belonged.
Carefully descending the stairs, she made her way outside again, taking care to duck where she knew she'd be visible from the dining hall.
She raced across the grass to the shed and dropped the bag of clothes there as well.
The guard dog barked upon seeing her, but it was not a warning bark, it was a bark of glee. Naruku took a couple seconds to pat the dog's head and watch it's tail flop from side-to-side.
"Guard this as best as you can," she advised, doubting that the dog would do anything of the sort.
She straightened herself up and strode back into the serving hall, rejoining the chaos as if she had not left at all.
As quickly as she could without drawing attention to herself, Naruku slipped back into the kitchen. Her heart was pounding, especially as she realized she still had her sword on her belt. It was a wonder that no one inside had noticed, though most of the guests were too drunk to give thought to a serving wench with a sword.
Still, the other girls might have seen and one of them could rat her out…she would leave before they got the chance.
"Momoko!" Naruku whispered, making her way into the kitchen. "Nana-chan!"
"We're over here!" came Momoko's sweet voice. The tone was louder than Naruku would have liked, but it made finding them easier. Momoko and Nana were huddled together beside the stove. Both seemed anxious and frightened.
"What took so long?" Momoko asked, as if berating Naruku.
She smiled a little. "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked seriously.
Momoko managed a nod. "There's nothing for me here."
Naruku looked at them darkly. She did not want to be the one to scare them or shatter their innocent view of the world but then, Naruku thought wryly, their view of the world probably was not as innocent as hers had been at their age.
"You must understand that there will be nothing for you anywhere else, either. No one wants to hire two plain girls who ran away from their teahouse. Understand?"
The thought seemed to shock the two and they exchanged frenzied looks.
"So I ask again, are you sure you want to do this?"
There was hesitancy this time, but both girls nodded resolutely.
Naruku's face relaxed. "There is kindness in this world, and I have faith that you two will find somewhere to live, some trade to take on, and eventually some one to love. But you must be careful of who you trust."
They nodded again.
"Good. Now I've got all the supplies in the shed outside. Momoko, it should be easy getting you outside. Just go into the serving room and dawdle for a while until it's clear to slip out the door. Nana, I'm going to try and get you through this window here." Naruku pointed above the counter, where a square window was propped open.
"Can I leave now?" Momoko questioned, getting up from her spot.
"Yes. Try and act completely normal," Naruku directed. "The supplies are behind a barrel in the shed. The dog won't bark if you give him this." She held out the second stolen sweet roll.
Momoko began to stride away.
A shrill scream and the thump of a falling body sounded in the kitchen and Naruku leapt to her feet.
She stared defiantly forward at Takeshi, who stood in the middle of the kitchen, his face contorted in anger.
Momoko lay at his feet, bruised but otherwise unharmed, struggling to crawl away.
Takeshi surged toward her his hand raised as if to strike again, but Naruku was between them in a flash, drawing her sword and forcing Takeshi back with her momentum.
"Just go!" Naruku cried, slamming Takeshi into the counter and fighting fiercely to hold him off and give the two girls time to escape. "Forget about the window, Nana, go with Momoko. And hurry!"
Nana looked fearful but rushed to Momoko's side, bringing her to her feet and helping her trot out the door.
With a roar Takeshi slapped at Naruku, tearing the flesh of her cheek all the way down to her collar. She yelped and flailed backward but regained her footing and jammed her sword against the man's throat.
She had no intention of killing him, of course, but he did not know that, and as soon as he felt to pressure on his windpipe, he fell limp against the counter.
This man was no fighter, and even though she was a tiny woman, Naruku still had the upper hand easily. She let Takeshi go and fled from the kitchen, out into the dining hall.
The whole place was in uproar. Apparently Nana and Momoko had pushed past more than one angry guest in their haste to leave.
Barely pausing to look around at the damage, Naruku sheathed her sword and ran with great, loping strides to the back door. She breathed easier when she saw the silhouettes of Nana and Momoko dragging two cloth bags from the shed.
"Shh!" came Nana's fierce whisper. The dog was beside her and barking wildly.
"Oh, Naruku-san!" Momoko cried upon seeing her. "You said he would be silent if we gave him the roll!"
"Well I thought he would," Naruku replied. "Here, give me an apple."
Nana dug briefly through her sack before producing one.
Naruku took it and held it under the dog's nose. He quieted for a moment before emitting another sharp bark.
Without pausing, Naruku took the apple and flung it out toward the street, where the dog ran squealing after it.
"Listen, I've got Takeshi in the kitchen and a whole bunch of pissed off guests. It won't be long before Shinju-san finds out that you both escaped. You need to be long gone by then, got it?" Naruku said levelly.
"But Naruku-san, we thought…" Nana trailed off, looking at Momoko.
Momoko finished for her. "We thought you'd be coming with us."
Naruku stared at the two girls' for more than a moment. She breathed deeply, thinking this over. There really was no reason not to. She wouldn't be putting them in any danger, and she was sure she could help them out a lot. She could find a place for them, maybe even one in Tokyo…
But there was always a but. And a selfish one, this time. She had her reasons for traveling, and these reasons would conflict with finding a home for these two girls. She hated to abandon them, but, feeling as wretched as she ever thought possible, she conceded that she had to. They would be all right. Or, at least, Naruku would convince herself of that.
"I'm afraid our time together ends here," she said slowly. "But let me do one more thing to help you. Here—" with that, she reached into her pouch and pulled a glittering black item from it. "To use for whatever purpose you see fit."
Nana touched the smooth surface tentatively, and Momoko leaned down to inspect it.
"An abalone comb! How beautiful," she gushed, running her hand over the engravings. "This must have cost a fortune, where did you get it?"
"It was a gift, once," Naruku replied shortly, handing it off to Nana. "And now I ask that you use it for your survival. I certainly have no need for it any longer."
Nana and Momoko exchanged glances. "How can we ever thank you?"
Naruku blushed, loosing her composure for the first time that evening. "Really. I ask nothing in return."
She gave each girl a brief hug. "Stay safe."
They nodded and Naruku could briefly see tears sparkling in Momoko's eyes. Silently, Nana led her away and the two girls were quickly swallowed up into the night.
Naruku let out a deep breath, taking in the fresh night air.
The sound of trotting and a low whine alerted Naruku of the guard dog, who had come back to her and dropped the apple near her left foot. She knelt and scratched absently at his ears before picking up the apple and throwing it into the darkness. The dog raced after it, and Naruku was left alone again.
She supposed it was about time she left as well. With no destination to speak of, Naruku set off into the night.
End Notes: I know that this chapter was very OC-centric. I hope that doesn't bother you. Though, I'm sure, the vast majority of you are already fine with Ocs, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this fanfic. Am I right? ...don't answer that.
I hope this was just enough and not too much. Next chapter will still deal heavily with Naruku (though there will be some canon character interaction—not saying who!) but we'll have our Kenshin-gumi fix as well. I've already started writing it and I hope to have it out before I go to Japan in August. Thanks for your patience.
