///A Can Of Soda///
(0)(1) Today
Today, he had to let go of my hand on the way home to buy himself a soda. He gave one to me, and told me that it was my favorite kind. I smiled and nodded.
Today, turned into an ordinary walk home for him and me. My feelings for him were there, like they were a few weeks ago. Back when we first started holding hands. My heart was full and bubbling mercilessly against my chest.
"Why are you doing that to the can, Rinoa?" I held my can high into the air, my neck craned so my lips could get at the stuff inside. I spoke into the can.
"Doing what?"
"If you want some more, I can buy you another can."
"But I'm not done with this one." a droplet fell onto my tongue. I showed it to him. He laughed, but I was serious.
He was nothing like the two guys I see when I dive into the can. He was wasteful.
Seifer believed in his war-ending death so much his soul was made of the same fabric.
Squall lived in that moment when the light flickered. He never wasted the second's gift of sight to look out of the hole in the lighthouse. He believed that whatever he was waiting for would come back.
Their feelings were fizzing out of control, they lived every moment of it.
I wished I could live like them. But somehow, my soda, my fire, would go flat. I was finding it harder and harder to shake the can.
"It's all some kind of science, y'know. . ." Seifer was telling me this after I had fallen into his world again. It was night, (at least I thought so) and he was using a white cloth to clean his gunblade. "Whenever you shake a can of soda, you can't make it fizz for very long. The fizzy stuff is gonna escape. That's why you gotta drink it fast. . .like me." I nodded.
I wished it weren't true. I wished I could save my feelings for my boyfriend forever without them growing stale. If I keep shaking the can, my feelings are gonna get stagnant. I won't feel for him.
"Heh, there you go again, Rin. Getting silent on me again."
"Oh, sorry. Hey! Let's go to the top of that tower." He looked at me a bit hesitantly. I smiled nervously. He must of taken it for a warm smile, because he took my hand and led the way.
Blink.
Light.
"Do you think the thing you're waiting for is ever going to come back?"
Blink.
Dark.
Blink.
Light.
"My sis had gone off on some ship. So I'm gonna operate this lighthouse so she can make it back safely."
Blink.
Dark.
"That's not the way you operate a lighthouse. You have to keep the beam of light on and constantly moving. You can't see a thing if it's always blinkin' on and off." I said, wishing for the light to flicker on again.
Blink.
Light.
"What's the difference? There's always gonna be a place with no light." I could hear him thinking, his quiet voice bouncing off the walls of the can.
The distance from the ground was dizzying. My body was being hammered by the wind, I looked at my boyfriend, a nervous hand inching its way across my shoulders.
Yesterday, I called the two in the can strangers.
I take that back.
They are me.
The two sides of me. There are two sides to everything. Even to girls who drink soda all day.
Seifer wants me to drink into my feelings until their gone.
Squall, in his own brooding way, tells me to save and drink a little at a time, slowly.
Who's to say which is right? I've been taking Squall's advice so far.
But, today I learned Squall was right about something.
Squall's lighthouse is like an oscillating fan. He told me it didn't matter which way he operated it because there was always gonna be a place left to darkness.
A cloak of uncertainty was what the darkness created. That's how it feels when I can't get to the feelings of yesterday. So, I revert into myself to get them back because I'm afraid I'll loose them for good.
Seifer was right, too. I can only keep this up for so long.
A/N-
There goes another weirdo chapter of the trilogy. What will befall our heroine the next I write?? Thanks to all who read the first chapter, I was not expecting such a reception to this fic. THANK YOU!!! (a formal thanks will come at the end of this fic) And for those who stick to the end with this fic, they will get their pen names imortalized on my profile. . .(woopie -.-) Please tell me what you think of it, wheather it be PLZ FINISH or PLZ STOP!!!! I will appreciate it greatly. Thanks
---GreyWeb---
