-The Brotherhood Living Room-
Lance stood across from Pietro. The other boys sat on the couch and the Brotherhood women stood behind it.
Lance took a deep breath, "Okay run that by me again."
Pietro crossed his arms, "I think… Mystique is dead."
Lance's eye began to twitch, "Okay… there's not a lot of gray area there, is there a pulse?" Pietro shrugged, "Then how the hell do you think she's dead!"
Pietro stood his ground, "Well you know how we haven't seen her in a few days?" Lance as well as the other Brotherhood members nodded in agreement, "Well today when I was home 'sick,' she never came out of her room."
Lance stared at Pietro, silently wondering if stupidity was contagious, "And?"
Pietro sighed, "Not even to get a beer."
A loud gasp emanated from every member of the Brotherhood followed by silence. Lance was the first to speak, "How did it happen?"
Pietro shook his head, "I don't know…" he paused, "But somebody should go up there."
Lance nodded, "As leader I nominate Todd."
Todd was shocked, "What? Why me?"
Lance stared at the youngest member of the team, "Cause if she's still alive, she's gonna be pissed, and she's gonna start throwing things. Since you're the smallest there's less of a chance of serious injury."
Todd's mouth was slightly agape, "What about Wanda and Regan?"
Lance laughed, "You ever tried to give those two orders? It'd be easier to make Pietro give up his mirror." Pietro nodded in agreement.
Wanda rolled her eyes, "You idiots are so weak," she made her way to the stairs and stood there, "I can't believe you were the first people she chose," she slowly inched her way away from the dark stair case, "You're so small."
Pietro crossed his arms, "Well little Miss big talk can't go up there either."
Wanda promptly threw a hex-bolt at her brother, but he easily dodged it.
Lance furrowed his brow, "Todd go up there!"
Todd shook his head, "No way!"
Lance closed his eyes, "Quit being a wussy!" his eyes immediately shot open, and Todd almost leapt on him.
Regan was visibly puzzled, "Bein' called a wussy is the ultimate insult around here, probably whoih ya never heard us say it," St. John answered her unasked question.
Freddy stood up, "Look we can either discover our dead Father, or go eat some cake."
Again Regan was visibly puzzled, "A mother will give you knowledge but a father will make you earn it," St. John answered her next unasked question.
-The kitchen-
The Brotherhood members stood around eating cake.
Pietro took a bite, "Where did we get cake from?"
Lance drank some milk, "Johnny made it." there was an awkward silence.
Pietro chuckled, "Remember the clown?"
The Brotherhood boys began laughing leaving two puzzled Brotherhood females and a confused St. John. Regan cleared her throat, "What clown?"
Lance stopped laughing, "Well when we first started out, we went to the grocery store as a group, kinda like a bonding experience."
Pietro then chimed in, "And out front they had this clown promoting the store."
Todd hopped onto the table, "Well we didn't know it at the time but the clown pinched her ass."
Freddy chuckled, "That's when she got us to beat the hell out of him, she said it was a trust exercise"
Lance let out a loud laugh, "We didn't even ask why we were beating him stupid, we just loved it so."
They slowly stopped laughing, "She really loved us yo," this statement confused the girls and St. John again, but the original Brotherhood boys nodded.
Lance smiled, "Sure she was incredibly violent, and negative. But she always made sure we were taken care of. That we had food and utilities…" he paused, "Well when she was here," with that the other boys nodded and agreed with him.
-A few minutes later in the Brotherhood living room-
Pietro had the brilliant idea to get coconut paint it blue and give it a red wig. He placed it on the coffee table and they stared at it.
Wanda glared at her brother, "What is this supposed to accomplish?"
Pietro sighed, "It's therapeutic, we can tell the coconut everything we could never tell Mystique."
Lance grabbed it and held it up, "You always said you thought of us as the bottom of the barrel…" he paused for a moment, "But you know what? We may be at the bottom, but we're the best and brightest!" the other Brotherhood members cheered, "We know how to take care of each other, and we're stronger for that!" they cheered again, "What do you have to say about that?"
Suddenly there was the sound of a can opening, and each Brotherhood member was frozen in fear, for the one and only Raven Darkholme stood behind them clad in her bathrobe holding a now open beer in her hand, "I think without me pushing you, you never would have known you could survive," she then walked back up the stairs and after a few seconds the door slammed.
Todd hoped behind Lance, "She ain't dead yo."
Regan nodded, "That's good… right?" she paused, "Right?"
-The next week in the Brotherhood living room-
Regan sat on Lance's armchair, and stared out at the other Brotherhood members. St. John, Wanda, and Pietro sat on the couch while Freddy and Todd sat on the floor at the coffee table trying to help Lance put his prized engine back together.
Regan sighed, "So you and Pietro are twins, and you're the elder sibling."
Wanda nodded, and Pietro changed the channel, "Why are we doing this?"
At that moment Lance walked into the room carrying several boxes, "Cause after what happened with Mystique she wants to get to know you."
Regan nodded and watched as Lance tore into his boxes to reveal more Auto-parts, "Lance honey, where did you get the money for all of these shiny new toys?"
Lance grabbed a socket wrench, "Legally."
Regan rolled her eyes, "What's the deal with Raven?"
Lance began fitting pieces together, "Well the story goes that during the day she'll be normal..."
Pietro chuckled, "But after happy hour she brings home our new step-daddy."
Wanda nudged her brother, "That's not true," she smiled, "Sometimes she brings home a brand new step-mommy."
The gathered Brotherhood members shared a good laugh. Regan eyed the resident speedster, "Pietro, how do you stay so fit if all you do is sit on the couch all day?"
Pietro smirked, "My mutation allows me to metabolize ninety-five percent of everything I eat, you metabolize twenty-five percent, so in conclusion not only is my body practically perfect but there's hardly any waste too."
Regan rolled her eyes, but her curiosity was soon peeked, "Todd, why do you refuse to use soap?"
Todd cleared his throat, "Soap messes with my skin yo. It gets all irritated and uncomfortable."
Regan nodded at the simple answer, "St. John, is that your real name or did you just Saint yourself?"
St. John smiled, "Sheila moih name is pronounced Sin Jin, but you blokes can't say it roihght."
Regan shook her head, "What's your deal with fire?"
St. John's smile shifted to something the Brotherhood never saw in the crazed Aussie, despair, "Well when oih was born Sheila, loihke two minutes after, there was this crazy fire…" he paused for a moment, "Oih was the only survoihvor."
Thinking quickly Regan changed the subject, "Freddy?" Freddy turned to meet the blonde's gaze, "What does the 'J.' in your name stand for?"
Freddy looked puzzled, as did the rest of the Brotherhood, "I… don't know."
Regan peeked an eyebrow in confusion, "How can you not know your own middle name?"
Freddy shrugged, "No one ever told me. I was left at the circus and I guess that they didn't know it either."
St. John leaned forward, "Should we make one up for him? Everyone needs a middle name roihght?"
Lance sat back and sighed, "Someone has to know right?"
-Several minutes later-
Lance held the phone to his ear, "Hello? Lubbock Texas Adoption Agency? Yeah I have one of your kids and I wanted to know what his middle name is." He paused for a minute, "What do you mean I should know my child's middle name? Hello? Hello!"
Pietro rolled his eyes, "There went that idea."
Lance glared at the speedster, "Do you have a better one?"
-Several minutes later-
Pietro sped into the living room holding a stack of computer paper.
Wanda stared at her brother, "Where did you get that?"
Pietro smiled the patented Brotherhood smile of innocence, "The Jones' down the street left their door unlocked."
Lance shook his head, "The family with an active internet connection and the best computer in the neighborhood just left their door unlocked?"
Pietro nodded, "Strange coincidence huh?" he began reading through the papers. A steady hum emanated from the material as Pietro used his speed. He then slammed the stack onto the coffee table, "Nothing! Two hundred and forty-one listings and his middle name isn't in any of them!"
Lance sighed, "Anybody got another idea?"
Todd sat in thought until Raven walked through the living room and into the kitchen. Todd smiled, and hoped in front of Raven as she ventured out of the kitchen, "Yo Mystique, you know what the 'J,' in Freddy's name is?"
Raven looked at the green teenager, "It stands for Jack, 'J' 'A' 'C' 'K,' Jack." She then made her way back to the stairs.
Freddy stood up tall and proud, "From this moment on I shall forever be known as Frederick Jack Dukes!"
Raven then called from the stairs, "Hey Frederick Jack Dukes! Take out the trash!"
Pietro sat against the couch and crossed his arms, "That was anti-climatic."
Regan peeked an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
Pietro quickly pointed to himself, "Django," then Lance, "Dominic," next Todd, "Mortimer," and finally St. John, "Fernando."
Regan nodded, "He has the most normal middle name," The Brotherhood then peered out of the window and watched as Freddy attempted to wrestle the garbage away from Deuce the Devil Dog, "At least he's on our side," the bag exploded and garbage fell all over the lawn, "Then again…"
