Written to The Unforgiven by Metallica and Miss Murder by DECEMBERUNDERGROUND.
Chapter 2
Goku was trying to remain calm in the back seat of the Jeep but Gojyo was being fidgety and being a pain moving around so much. Goku did his best to not look over at Sanzo and Hakkai, even with Gojyo distracting him it was still hard. If he did, he was sure that he'd do something and go over there, but that would just make the both of them even more upset. So Goku sat and tried not to go find out what was going on. He wished they would hurry up!
"Damn," Gojyo groaned and flicked hair out of his eyes. "I hate not knowing what they're talking about."
Goku huffed and shook his hair out. He didn't like the idea of it either. The air was much too tense for this situation and there was something floating in the wind. "Yeah, well, it's not like we can do anything about it."
"I should go out there."
"Hakkai'll get angry." Goku frowned. "Sanzo too. So we should just stay here."
"I still don't like it."
Gojyo started mumbling to himself at this point and fishing around for his cigarettes. Goku leaned his head back and tried to ignore the stupid water sprite when he felt it. The force of the demon energy that had suddenly appeared was so intense it forced him to sit up and look around. The energy was coming from where Sanzo was, but all he could see over there was Hakkai.
Hakkai, who had pointed ears sticking out of the sides of his head and was clutching his sides.
"What the hell was that?" Gojyo smacked Goku in the leg after the boy had jabbed him in the side with his hurry to get up. "Where's the fire?"
"Hakkai took his limiters off." Goku pointed out into the distance towards Sanzo. They were too far away to see exactly what was happening, but it looked like Hakkai had grabbed Sanzo by the shoulders for a moment before they started walking again. "They're both heading this way now."
"He did what?" Gojyo leaned over the side of the seat to see the damn priest strutting towards the car. Behind him, Hakkai was walking slightly slower while keeping his head down. Something was very wrong and Gojyo didn't like the feeling that was creeping up his spine. "What the hell happened?"
"I don't know. But didn't you feel that when they came off? There was so much power." Goku kept his eyes locked on Hakkai behind Sanzo. Hakkai was his friend, and he trusted him, but that still didn't erase the memories. Hakkai was scary.
"I felt it a little, but not nearly to that extent." Gojyo ran his hand through his hair and felt the chills down his back increase as unwanted memories started filling his head. He remembered all too well what Hakkai was capable of in this state. But what could make him transform like that? Hakkai only took his limiters off as an absolute last resort. He hated to admit it, but it worried him. "Shit."
Sanzo looked up from his cigarette to see the other two morons already gaping like fishes. The man rolled his eyes and tossed his new cigarette to the ground and used his foot to put it out. Sanzo could still hear Hakkai walking slow as hell behind him and he picked up his own pace. When the monk reached the Jeep he was greeted by a worried face and an angry face. He knew this was going to be a bad day when he got out of bed this morning. "What are you two staring at?"
"Sanzo!" Goku shouted and pointed back to Hakkai who had just caught up with the monk. "What happened? Are you two okay?"
"Nothing happened." Sanzo yanked open the door and sat his rump in the seat. The best way to deal with an annoyance was to ignore it. "Sit down and shut the hell up. Let's go."
"Why you bastard." Gojyo jumped a little when he heard the click of a second door shut. The taboo child had been so busy glaring at the priest he didn't even notice the other man take his seat behind the wheel. The man, demon, behind the wheel was tense and hadn't greeted him or Goku yet. "Hakkai?"
"It's nothing." Hakkai tried to smile as he looked at his friend in the rearview mirror, but he just couldn't seem to pull it off. He blamed the fangs and gave Sanzo a scathing look. "I just, felt like a change."
"Bullshit." Gojyo thrust a finger towards the bastard sitting next to his friend. The damn priest was sitting so high and mighty while Hakkai was clearly suffering about this. Gojyo wouldn't forgive him. "He did this, didn't he?"
"Sanzo may, have suggested it." Hakkai could feel a crueler smile stretching across his face. He controlled the urge to lick his teeth. "But, what's done is done."
"And you're okay with it?"
"Yes, Gojyo." So it was a lie. It wouldn't be the first, or the last. Hakkai chuckled to himself. "It's perfectly alright."
Goku was staring at Hakkai. It was making the man very uncomfortable and he had never wanted to start the Jeep so badly. He shoved his eyes to the front and tried to ignore that golden gaze glued to his back. Hakkai gunned the engine and shoved the gear into drive just to release some of his frustration, but still felt a little guilty when he heard Gojyo slam into the seat. Goku's stare continued undisrupted and it caused him to sigh. "Is something the matter, Goku?"
Goku shook his head and in his embarrassment, laughed. He swallowed and sat back down against the seat. Hakkai was still Hakkai, so nothing to worry about. "Sorry, it's just the last time I saw you like this, you were, you know."
"Yes," Hakkai smiled softly. "If I remember correctly, you said you liked the normal me better."
"I didn't mean it quite like that." Goku averted his eyes away from the other man and let them fall onto Sanzo. He squinted a bit before lifting a corner of his robe. There were little holes littering the fabric with jagged edges. "Sanzo, is your robe ripped?"
"Hakkai forgot he had claws." Sanzo closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He had every intention of sleeping. "Now shut the hell up, I'm going to sleep."
"Already?" Gojyo kicked Sanzo's seat and crossed his arms. He'd just talk to Hakkai about it in private later. There was no way Hakkai was okay with this. "You got us up at the crack of dawn so you could sleep in the damn Jeep? You damn tightass."
Hakkai sighed to himself and tried to keep his claws from scratching the steering wheel. Knowing Sanzo's stubbornness he'd have to adjust during the week for the added length of his nails. Though, it was his increased senses bothering him at the moment. He should have known Gojyo would be upset, and being able to feel his body temperature rise slightly from the heated anger wasn't helping. "Sanzo was kept up late, so please just drop it Gojyo."
Gojyo frowned and sat down in his seat without another word. Hakkai was supposed to be his friend, so why was he siding with the monk for? Gojyo jammed a cigarette into his mouth and lit it. At least nicotine was a friend that never let him down.
"Stop looking so damned concerned and let the bastard sulk already." Sanzo didn't even bother opening his eyes. He knew exactly what the red-head was doing.
Hakkai flinched as he was caught in mid-comfort and forced his smile to stay. Spite was a powerful motivator. "Whatever do you mean?"
"Like you don't know." Sanzo leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. It was about time he deserved a little sleep. "Just keep driving."
"Of course."
"Hakkai didn't hurt you did he?"
Sanzo lowered the paper he was reading down a notch and stared at the monkey standing before him. Goku had developed some semblance of a serious look on his face and Sanzo nearly growled to himself. The monk should have seen this coming when Gojyo dragged Hakkai off to who knows where. "Moron. Of course not, it's Hakkai."
"Yeah, I know that." Goku frowned. He was trying to be serious! Sanzo continued to partially ignore him in favor of putting his paper back up. One of these days Goku was just going to burn those things. Sanzo probably didn't even read it. "I know Hakkai wouldn't do anything on purpose, but maybe on accident."
"What the hell are you getting at?"
"I saw him holding you up from the Jeep when his limiters first came off." Goku sat down next to Sanzo. He didn't want to let his friend know, but Goku was pretty freaked when Hakkai had threatened Sanzo. Goku didn't need to hear the conversation to know that's what had happened. "He was angry and ripped through your robes. He might not know his own strength yet, and I was worried."
"Don't be."
"But."
"I said," Sanzo folded the paper and placed it to his side. He put a hand on the boy's head and hoped he appreciated this one act of kindness for the year. "Don't worry. Hakkai's not crazy, out of control or bloodthirsty."
Goku nodded and just enjoyed the warmth of the contact. It wasn't often Sanzo was outwardly comforting. Actually, it happened once in a year more or less, but he guessed it had something to do with the fact Hakkai was the cause of the worry this time. "You're sure nothing will happen?"
"I doubt it," Sanzo left Goku's head for his lighter. The smell of the smoke brought a slight smile to his face. "And if he does, I'll shoot him in the legs."
Part of Goku wanted to laugh at that statement, the other half was frightened by the fact he knew Sanzo wasn't kidding. Goku stretched his legs out in front of him and looked at the light glinting on his shoe buckle. "And then?"
"Throw him in the Jeep and keep going." Sanzo inhaled his lovely cigarette and just breathed it in. The exhale was just as pleasurable and Sanzo wondered if things would be getting next to normal anytime soon. The hungry part of him wondered when the hell Hakkai was going to come back with the damn water sprite. Something was nagging at him that leaving them alone right now was a bad idea. "What else?"
"So you'd kill me if I went crazy, but not Hakkai?" Goku snorted. "That doesn't seem very fair."
"Hakkai knows how to cook."
That time, Goku did laugh. Sanzo did have his moments, and now Goku was feeling much more relieved. He really didn't have anything to worry about, whether Hakkai was scary or not. Goku scratched his nose as his laugher calmed down a bit. "Yeah, he sure does."
"Good," Sanzo stood and stretched out a bit. He tried to pull a crick out of his spine but it refused to budge. He'd have to make Hakkai work it out later; chi healing did wonders for sore muscles. Assuming the man had gotten used to claws by now. Sanzo didn't have a need for another scar. "Now that's settled, let's see if we can't find those other two morons and get something cooking.
"Yeah! I'm starving!"
"Shut up." Sanzo started walking towards the little fire they had made for cooking. It crackled and crinkled neatly, but wasn't nearly big enough to cook over. "Get some firewood so this is hot when Hakkai comes back."
"Sure," Goku pulled himself off the ground and brushed the dirt off his pants. He cracked his back and stretched briefly before putting his weight on his heels. "I just hope he's good enough to make some food. He wasn't looking too good."
"I don't give a damn if he's dying." Sanzo frowned as his stomach let out a tiny rumble. At least Goku didn't hear it. Sanzo frowned when he realized the monkey probably did but was just ignoring it. Stupid enhanced demon senses. "The man's cooking because I ain't touching a damn thing that water sprite makes."
Goku grinned. "You could always make something then?"
"You want to die?"
"Not yet, thank-you." Goku turned away from Sanzo and cocked his head. "I want to see if Hakkai can do it."
"Do what?"
"Get over it." Goku took a few steps. "Control himself."
"And why the hell is that?" Sanzo took a slow drag and watched the almost-man in front of him.
"Because," Goku paused. "Then maybe I can, too."
Sanzo considered what Goku had said for a few moments before tossing his cigarette away. He walked over to a stump to find a good place to sit and wait for their cook. "We'll see, now get the firewood."
"Yes, Sanzo." Goku shook his head a bit to pull out of the slightly depressed mood. He had been doing so well for the past few minutes, too. "The faster I get the fire going, the faster Hakkai can cook, right?"
"Just go do it."
"Right, right."
Sanzo watched Goku run off into the woods and just had to wonder: could Goku do it too? The priest snorted and watched the fire. They wouldn't be trying that one anytime soon. Just dealing with Hakkai was enough trouble on its own.
"Why are you really doing this, Hakkai?" Gojyo had finally dragged Hakkai away from the group and planned to get to the bottom of this little fiasco once and for all. "Man, you hate taking off your limiters."
"That's because I usually have a hard time controlling myself and it's usually for a fight." Hakkai shifted his weight a bit and studied Gojyo. He could tell this was going to take some convincing work to get his friend to back off a little. "Sanzo assures me I'll be fine. It's good practice regardless."
"And Sanzo knows you better than you do?" Gojyo watched Hakkai shove his hair behind his shoulder. "He knows you better than me?"
"So he seems to believe." Hakkai sighed and tried to shove his hair back again. He had forgotten what a pain long hair could be. "In any case, he's not giving my limiters back. I'd have to physically take them from him to get them back and that would result in him getting hurt."
"He'd shoot you for saying that one that one." Gojyo sniffed and rubbed his arm a little. It was getting cold. "What kind of a friend is that?"
"Yes, well, even with that, he has to admit the strength difference is immense." Hakkai listened in the woods for the sounds of the animals about. He was slowly getting used to his enhanced hearing and other senses. "He'd put up a fight, and I don't know my limitations yet."
"Would serve the bastard right if you ask me." Gojyo growled and furiously lit a Hi-Lite. He needed to do something with his hands. "Are you sure you agreed to this? If you won't take him, I will."
"I appreciate your efforts, Gojyo." Hakkai held a hand to his head. A slight pain was nagging at his temples. "I really do, but I'll be fine."
"You don't look like you're going to be fine." Gojyo slammed his fist into a palm. "Stop lying to me and tell me how you really feel about all of this!"
"Can't you just drop it, Gojyo?" Hakkai crossed his arms and leaned up against a tree. Gojyo had been nagging him for all this time and he still couldn't take a hint: Hakkai wasn't talking. "Just leave it be."
"No," Gojyo slammed a foot down. "I'm not going to let it go when my friend is so hurt over this. I won't forgive him."
"What exactly is your problem, Gojyo?" Hakkai had plenty of time to think about his situation, and he wasn't liking what he was seeing. Gojyo was much too upset over all of this. Even Hakkai had calmed down from his original anger after realizing he still felt pretty much the same. It was the others that were reacting differently. First Goku and his staring, and now Gojyo.
"I don't like seeing you like this," Gojyo dropped his voice and his arms to his sides. "It doesn't suit you."
"Being a demon?" Hakkai narrowed his eyes slightly. "Is that what you mean?"
"No, that's not what I mean." Gojyo ran a hand through his hair. "You know I don't care about shit like that."
"Then why are you so upset?" Hakkai stopped talking and then laughed. Life was just so implausibly amusing some times. "Ha, what do you know. Sanzo was wrong."
"What?" Gojyo blinked as Hakkai plastered a familiar, fake, friendly smile on his face. Somehow it just seemed wrong when you added fangs to it.
"He said that the only one who cared if I was a demon or not was me." Hakkai glared and dropped his smile. There was no need for it. "Clearly, he was wrong."
Gojyo was stunned as he watched Hakkai turn his back on him. The demon was walking away from him. "Hey, Hakkai."
"I have to make dinner." Hakkai continued walking, even if it did hurt a little to leave Gojyo behind. He was just so frustrated all of a sudden, and he was experiencing a terrible headache. "Just drop it."
Gojyo stood by himself in the woods and watched the other man's retreating back. He had screwed up big time, and not even the cigarettes seemed to help anymore.
"Took you long enough." Sanzo continued to watch the smoke. "Goku's getting firewood and I'm hungry."
"Can you not be a bastard for five minutes?"
"Not possible." Sanzo licked his teeth and let out a breath. "Nice to hear you cursing, but to the point now. How's the cockroach taking everything?"
"He's angry," Hakkai felt himself clenching his fist and relaxed it. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Suit yourself." Sanzo raised an eyebrow and looked behind the demon in front of him. "Where is he anyway?"
"I doubt he comes back any time soon. He needs it to think."
"That so."
"Do you want sukiyaki tonight, or soup?"
"Whatever you make is fine." Sanzo ignored the quick change of topic. He'd find out sooner or later what it was about, he always did for some reason. Sanzo watched the last of the ashes fall from his Marlboro. It was always sad to see one end.
"Can you make stew?" Goku grinned as he pushed through a bush. He tossed the pile of wood he had gathered towards the fire and then turned back to Hakkai. He tried his best not to let the slit eyes and narrowed face bother him. "Yours is always really, really good."
"I guess I could make stew if that's what you want, Goku."
"Yay!"
"Now he'll never shut up." Sanzo sighed as Goku danced about in joy about the coming stew.
"At least one of us is happy." Hakkai shook his head and headed over to the pack. He looked down and noticed the canteen was empty. You couldn't make stew without water, well one could try. "Goku, could you do me a favor and get some water? I think there's a stream a bit that way."
"Kay!" Goku dashed over to grab the canteen from Hakkai quickly and flinched when the man's claw brushed his wrist. "Ouch."
Hakkai looked down a bit at the tiny scrape of blood on his nail. It was just a drop but Hakkai could smell it like it was a hundred drops. "Sorry."
"It's okay." Goku nodded and ran away from camp. The faster he got the water the faster Hakkai could make stew! The cut was already forgotten.
"It's just a scratch." Sanzo looked up at the man who had frozen in place. "He's fine and at least now he's gone."
"Yes, but if it had been you it would have been deeper and not fine, now wouldn't it?" Hakkai growled and wiped his hand on his pants. He should be able to handle himself better than this.
"I'm not that weak." Sanzo tapped his Marlboro case against his leg for a new stick. This whole thing was making him smoke more than usual.
Hakkai shook his head and placed the pot next to the fire, as he neared the other man he noticed something in the relative quiet of the area. He had heard it from the others before, but it was never quiet enough to listen to Sanzo's. "I can hear your heart beat."
Sanzo merely turned his eyes to look at the man. "Your point?"
"It's soothing," Hakkai sat down next to his friend. "It's very calm. Gojyo and Goku's beat much too quickly."
"They get too worked up over every little damn thing."
"But at least they distract me."
"From what?" Sanzo nursed his cigarette slowly. He wanted to make it last as long as possible this time. "And don't think I'm letting you listen to my heartbeat all the time. It's creepy, you damn bastard."
"Don't worry, I won't put you in a position to have to shoot me." Hakkai smiled just a little. "Then no one would take care of you three."
"Answer the question." Sanzo propped up a knee so he could lean on it.
"From hearing my own heartbeat." Hakkai leaned his head back and watched the stars. There were hundreds, no thousands of them shining up there. Insignificant little dots that littered what would have been a perfectly black sky. "It pumps loudly and echoes in my ears like a drum."
"At least it's a pulse."
"Yes," Hakkai leaned over to pick up a stick from the ground. He flicked at the bark with his claws and watched the pieces break off. Frowned when he pushed too hard and the twig snapped.
"No one wants to hear it stop."
Hakkai stopped at that statement. He couldn't have heard it right. "Is that so, Sanzo?"
"If I have to repeat myself, I will shoot you." Sanzo growled. His stomach followed.
Hakkai laughed.
"Shut up!"
"I'm sorry." Hakkai couldn't stop the grin as Sanzo flushed slightly. "You weren't kidding when you said you were hungry, were you?"
"Fix. Dinner. Now."
"Yes, yes." Hakkai shook his head and returned to the pack of food. He'd have to chop all the food before Goku got back. "Whatever you say."
"Damn straight."
