Chapter 4: I Swear I'll Change My Ways
"I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say I love you, come back home"
-Trish-
Once I'd gotten back to my hotel room I laid on the bed and cried. It was starting to hurt every time I saw you. Physically hurt. My stomach twisted and I felt my heart rip a little more every damn time we were in the same general area. When you said you were going drinking it hurt because I know you only drink when you're upset and usually I'd be able to help you with that but now we don't speak and us not speaking is probably why you're drinking.
I was so stupid for answering your phone that day. God I wish I could change it.
-Jeff-
I lay down for a while, my plans for a replacement forgotten as I buried my face in my hands, disappointed in myself for not fixing things between us. I could jump off eighteen-foot ladders with no problem but I couldn't talk to you about our friendship. Or what there is left of it.
Sighing in defeat I pull out my suitcase and decide to repack in neatly so I don't have to do it tomorrow. I find your picture where I put it and I frown at first, thinking of how you looked disappointed at my plans for the night. I wish I could change whatever came between us, hell I'd stop drinking and everything for you, if only you'd talk to me.
But we don't talk so that leaves me with hair dye and vodka.
-Trish-
I don't know why I actually considered going to church; it's such a stupid idea, trying anything to forget you. But I know the only thing that will help me is you. And you can't help me and I can't help you so we're both stuck cause neither of us know how to swallow our damn pride and be together again.
So you're drinking and I'm on the verge of tears. What the hell can I do now other than let the tears fall?
'No,' I thought. I wasn't going to let myself cry, again, over you. Instead I picked up my bag and decided to organize it so it wasn't impossible to find anything. My nails clicked on the back of my picture frame, the same picture frame that held a photo of you and me.
I turned it over and smiled a bit; happy to see us caught in time smiling together instead of the fake smiles we had now. My eyes drifted over to the nightstand and I was so tempted to call you.
-Jeff-
I had taken a few sips of vodka but then it lost its appeal. Instead I dug into my bag and found the picture of us. I stared at it, a small smile on my face. We looked so happy then. I sat in my room, wondering what I had done to upset you so much that you pulled away but I guess it was because you could never really be with me.
My eyes fell on the phone. I wanted to call you but couldn't. What the hell was wrong with me? I jump off of ladders, turnbuckles, stages, anything I can find through tables and onto people without fear and now I can't even call you?
Yeah, I'm extreme all right.
I sat there, feeling sorry for myself like a stupid grade school kid with no life.
"Ah, forget this," I said out loud. I grabbed the phone and dialed your number from memory.
It rang and I held my breath.
-Trish-
I jumped when the phone rang. My hand had been hovering over it for the past minute as I contemplated calling you.
I took a deep breath to calm my heart and picked it up. "Hello?" No answer. "Hello? Anyone there?" I asked.
"Trish?"
I froze. It was you. "Jeff?"
"I…I mean, uhm…I…do you want to, I don't know, hang out? Catch up?" you said. I smiled as you stumbled over your words. That way I didn't feel so stupid.
"Sure, come to my room," I said.
"What number?"
"218" I said. I could practically hear you smile through the phone.
"I'll be there in a minute."
We hung up and I jumped up and ran to the bathroom, checking my reflection to make sure I looked okay. How childish of me.
-Jeff-
When you said yes to hanging out I slammed the phone down, grabbed my room key and ran. Of course I'd have to slow my breathing before knocking on your door so I could appear cool, calm, and collected but we both knew that was far from the truth.
Once I got to your room I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath before knocking.
You answered the door and I couldn't help but smile.
"It's been a while," you said.
I nodded. "I'm sorry about that," I said.
You frowned a bit and motioned for me to come inside. I did and looked around; it was so neat unlike my room. Your bag was open and there was a picture on the bed. I walked over and looked down at it and smiled. It was a picture of us, the same one I had in my room.
I looked over at you and you were blushing a little. "We should talk," you said. I nodded and sat on the bed, careful not to sit on your bag or picture. "The reason we haven't talked or hung out much lately is because of me," you said.
"No, it's not," I began, ready to tell you that it's okay if you don't like me.
"Yes it is," you said. Then the story came out. You hung your head when you were finished, I guess you thought I'd be mad but I wasn't. I was relieved that it was all a simple misunderstanding.
"So you do like me?" I asked.
Your head snapped up to look at me. "What?" you asked.
"I thought it was because you hated me or something."
"No I don't hate you, far from it," you said.
I smiled and walked over to you. "So, we're cool?" I asked.
You nodded. "As long as you don't drink yourself stupid anymore,"
I knew that was going to come up. But for you I could do anything, stopping drinking would be easy. "I'll change," I said.
"No, don't change. Be Jeff, but not a drinking Jeff," you said.
I smiled. "As long as you smile more."
You laughed a bit. "Deal."
Most people would shake after making a deal but you and I were most people. We sealed the deal with a hug and, to my shock, a kiss.
-Finish-
AN: I'm sorry for the rushed ending but my inspiration ran away. Thanks to 2Deez for virtually kicking my butt and reminding me I hadn't updated so this chapter is for you!
