Intermission for the main plot. So this is my excuse for a comedic, slightly pervy take on a prinny panty raid on Pleinair's closet, simply because I haven't seen a dirty Prinny fanfic yet and I thought it was high time for one. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Pleinair's underwear or anything else Disgaea.
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Never say 'dare'. Because then you'll end up like Prinny #57, stuck hiding in a naked woman's closet.
Mission: acquire a pair of Pleinair's panties. Status: about to explode in his face at any moment. Pleinair was in the shower- the perfect time for a Prinny panty raid. But it had taken him longer than he had expected to actually get into her house, let alone her bedroom.
(Boy, demon girls really know how to set up booby traps! The shark sculptures with hidden dart projectiles were a really nice touch. And he would be picking up certain parts of him he'd rather not mention on his way out, thanks to the land mines hidden in the track lighting.)
And now here he is, crouched behind some shoes, sweat beads pouring down him like a miniature waterfall. Hope she has shoe insurance. Or a good dry cleaner.
He prayed to the penguin devil she didn't need anything out of the closet. He heard the water cut off and the shower curtain being pulled. Padded footsteps, and the closet door opened. Light poured into the cluttered closet as Pleinair groped around for a pair of sensible white shoes.
She's gone? She didn't see me? Oh, thank you Penguin-sama!
He peeked out into her room. She was humming softly from the bathroom, a white towel draped around her body. But if she went to change, and saw a pair of her undies was missing, what would she do? Would she notice? Do Prinnies have nails? Cause he should be biting them if they do.
He decided to chance it. Tiptoeing across the room, he measured the distance to the chest of drawers.
Ten steps... five... three... two... one... Jackpot!
Oh, it was like how a dirty Dr. Seus book would be written... Small ones, tall ones, red ones and green ones; lacy ones and racy ones and thin black barely seen ones... Instead of writing dirty limericks in his head, he should have been picking one. He was supposed to bring back a pair that was quintessentially Pleinair, one that would prove he'd been in her drawers and not just some other random girl's.
Hm... What color underwear was she always wearing in all those fan-made fanservice pictures that were all over the Netherworld internet? Shiroi! White ones!
#57 dove into Pleinair's pile of goodies like a kid into his first bag of Halloween candy. He started sifting through the rainbow of underwear. Pink... purple... red... mauve... was that a door closing? ... black... blue... had she stopped humming in there.off-white... eggshell white... pale yellow... sweat beads dropped from his beak into the flurry of undies as he frantically flew through the drawer to the very bottom... white trim... white lace... and there they were, worthy of a convent- pure white ladies' 100 cotton underwear (bikini style).
Hastily stuffing it into his pouch, and knowing he had no time left, he flung himself into the drawer (it's a big drawer, okay?) and lay still.
Still without her glasses on, Pleinair moved to the dresser, plucked a mauve number out of the prinny hiding drawer,
and proceeded to change.
Now- is Prinny 57 very modest or gentlemanly? Do you think he'd oggle a lady changing, like some dirty peeping tom? Do you know Prinnies at all? Good. Because 57 was only there on a dare, you know, not a bet. Give him a break, not everyone has a dirty mind like you!
No, Prinny 57 had no interest in Pleinair's supple naked form, for he was a gay Prinny, and was rather fond of Prinny 32, although 32 had never given 57 the time of day. (I'm sure by now you're all asking why this is important and Will I just get on with it???)
Well, Pleinair's long gone by now, probably bored of 57's condensed life story.
And our Prinny Pantywaist Hero emerges triumphantly from the depths of the forbidden drawer. Not wanting to brave the deadly booby traps again, he decides to make a break for the nearest exit, which in this case would be the window. He grabbed several of Pleinair's scarves and tied them together, creating an escape rope. He hoisted himself down the makeshift ladder and rapeled down the surface of her house, undies stilltucked safely into his pouch. Checking around to make sure no one had seen him, he jumped the last few feet to the ground
and met the feet of a very angry blue-haired demon girl. Oops. Caught in the act. (Too bad she's over 9000 levels higher than him.)
"What were you doing in my house?" she asked. She looked as if this was the first time she'd ever seen a Prinny on a linen ladder climbing down her window. Go figure.
"...Admiring your fine interior decorating?" he managed to mumble in response.
She sees the rope. She stores her scarves in her underwear drawer. Nervous 57 casually pats his pouch, making sure his prize is safe. And inadvertently gives himself away. She snatched his pouch away from him, whipping out knives and bombs and potions and
"AHA! YOU BROKE INTO MY HOUSE TO STEAL MY PANTIES"
With intense fire blazing in her red eyes, Pleinair blasts the Prinny off her property and practically into orbit. He explodes in some far away district as the group of timid Prinnies (numbers 23-56) who had been waiting for 57's return peer off into the distance.Pleinair whips around like a firecracker to face the other prinnies. They gulp as she aims for them with her atomic rocket launcher (so that's what she hides in her bunny...)
Targets locked... and FIRE!
Mission failed. Game over. Replay?
The moral of the story is- 'don't get between a demon girl and her underwear.'
Brought to you by Netherworld Pudding Co.- now with bits of real Pocky in every bite.
