Earth Angel

You look lovely as you smile at me from the bed. Your cheeks are flushed and you're wrapped up in the white linen bed sheets. I take a picture in my minD of the way you look right now. I want to hold on to it forever and never let it go. But our time is ending now. An ominous hum haunts me with every step I take. It tells me time's almost up. It tells me someone is coming to take me away from you.

I can't help but remember when we first fell in love as I look into your warm eyes. We were careless then, just wanting to have a good time. We were in love, and didn't have a care in the world. We were like two stars lost in a sea of darkness that had hung over us for all those countless nights. We were together, just you and me, with nothing to worry about.

It's funny how memories come and go throughout one's mind. As your eyes close and a smile spreads across your lips I am reminded of the day you gave birth to our son. The way you looked that night was the most magical thing I'd ever seen before. And I'm not just saying that. That day will remain in my mind forever, unalterable and everlasting.

As you open your eyes again, and they are filled with the morning light, you remind me of an angel that's come from the heavens above. You stalk me everywhere I go, unable to leave my mind. You are an angel of Earth that has come to be with me, to fill me up with happiness and joy until I can't handle it anymore and burst.

It's not long now, I can tell. As I stare out on this October morning, I can feel the end nearing. I can feel you slipping away from me ever so slowly and it breaks me. Every smile on your face, every gleam in your eye tortures me to a point that I can't bear. But I bear it, nevertheless. I hang on hoping it'll leave. I hang on praying for more time. But my prayers are never answered.

I used to be angry at you. If you were this angel sent from above, why couldn't you answer my prayers? Why couldn't you change this fate that we are destined for? Why couldn't we be there for our child? Why couldn't you change things? You never answered any of my questions. But how could you anyway?

I came to accept it, eventually. I came to realize that you couldn't change our fate. You were an angel whose wings were bound down by the atmosphere of the earth. You couldn't change anything. We had to just go through it. We had to live it, experience it. We had to do it.

And so now, we wait. The humming grows fainter, but I know that's not an omen of what might not happen. I know it's a warning sign for things to come. Soon we will not be hearing any of this any more. At least I won't. And so as I look into your beautiful, captivating green eyes, I hope you can understand the message I'm trying to tell you.

The message is that you must go on. You must go on without me. You must go on raising our son. Think of me often, if you must. But move on. I will be here for you no matter what. You are my earth angel. You are my one and only and I will cherish you forever and for always. I hope you will not forget that.

And so, we spend the day together, laughing and playing in the fall leaves, enjoying our lives before the night comes and everything will change. I am thankful the menacing pounding in my ears has left me temporarily so I can enjoy this wonderful day with you and our beloved. These final memories will last me, I am sure, for all eternity. They fill forever be in my heart striving and embracing the time of what once was.

The time is coming soon for the drumming has returned. It is dark and I look at you and run a hand through your hair trying to memorize the way it feels through my fingers. I hope you will not be mad that I haven't warned you of what is to come, but I just can't. I can't bear to see you worried. I can't bear to see your sorrow, your hurt. You see, it would ruin all memory I have of you. It would ruin the glowing figure of the angel you are in my mind. It would destroy that and I would not be able to bear it.

It's because I love you. It's because you have become my one and only, and through all of this, that you will stay. You have bewitched me, body and soul and I cannot remove myself from your spells. Your magic has spread over me captivating me with its deadly grasp, refusing to let go.

You are speaking to me now, asking what is wrong, I think. I can't hear you for the pounding in my head has now drowned out all noise from anything else. As your expression of innocence and happiness fades I turn away from you not bearing to look into your honest eyes. I would break into two if I did, you must understand. The end is near. I can feel it. And I can feel the tears well up like waves in my eyes and I can't hold them back.

I will try to save you, I will, but you must not fight. You must take the child and protect him with everything you can. You must do it for honor. You must do it for love. You must do it for us. You must do it for him.

And the moment is hear. It has arrived like a raging bull with horns yearning to pierce its head into something. It is here and I am powerless to stop it, I am weak, I am broken. And I pray to anyone that will listen that you are not harmed. For seeing you mangled and damaged would send me farther away into a deep abyss and I will never be able to return to you.

But I hope you will be able to find me, after everything happens. You must find me, for you are an angel. You are an angel returning home from a strange land. You are an angel going home. If I never see your face, do not worry. For this life of happiness that you have given me is quite substantive to satisfy me for all eternity. Because I will always remember you as my angel. My earth angel.