disclaimer: same as before... I don't own; you don't sue.

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chapter one- COLOR OF LIFE

As amusing as it was to watch Frank eat his words, and Margaret's, and load up with us, about ten minutes into the trip I began to wish we'd left him at camp. Despite Hawkeye's earlier warning about the "yellow hoard" references, Frank simply resorted to "red plague."

I probably wouldn't have minded his racism as much if I had known what other stupidity he was up to and what it would cost.

"It's a good thing I brought a piece."

"A piece of what?"

"A gun, ya jerk."

Hawk and I stopped walking. I could sense the blood drain from my face just as easily as I saw Hawk's face go white. However Hawkeye, unlike me, still seemed capable of coherent thought beyond murdering Frank for stupidity.

He managed to plaster on a smile to keep us from creating too much suspicion-- a move which I immediately copied-- scold Frank, give him an order to keep the gun hidden, and make an attempt to crack the tension with his customary quips all at the same time. Then, to my further amazement, the self proclaimed coward proceeded to take charge of the interaction and make small talk with the Chinese officer, Dr. Lin Tan.

For a brief minute or so, I really thought the exchange was going to go without a hitch despite Frank's idiocy. Then one of the guys with a gun moved, and Frank reached for his.

It was a close race and to this day I don't know who looked more willing to kill Frank, the Chinese or Hawkeye.

Dr. Tan, amazingly, did not have us all shot on the spot but berated us for continuing the abuse of his people by Americans and turned to go. Pushing aside our relief at the continued ability to breathe, Hawk and I both started after him with nine other lives on our minds.

Hawkeye again took control of negotiations. "Look, you're doing something decent in the middle of a giant indecency. Don't endanger nine lives just because some idiot wants to do his General Custer impersonation."

Dr. Tan stopped, turned, and seemed to think about it, but he still looked wary.

Hawkeye looked over his shoulder at Frank, "Give it up, Frank."

"What?"

"Give them the gun, Frank."

"I don't take orders from Captains, and I won't be intimidated by these reds."

Of all the times for the ferret to grow a backbone.

Hawk glared at him and opened his mouth as if to snap back at him, but he closed it, obviously not wanting to start a losing battle while he had bigger problems to worry about.

He turned back to Dr. Tan, "We'll dump Yankee Doodle Dummy back at the other end of the bridge and bring the bus over here slowly as planned. You can have one of your guys watch him in case he makes a grab for his pants again. He can stay over there until the wounded are loaded and we'll pick him up on our way out."

"Can we trust that you have no other hidden weapons?" Tan asked suspiciously.

"Yes. Please, if you'll give us another chance, I'll go back with you to see if I can be of any help treating your people."

My gasp of surprise rang out in the silence that fell between the two men.

"You would do that?" Tan's voice ended the quiet.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You're helping these kids; maybe we can help some more. Everyone in this damn war is an innocent bystander, besides some of the brass. And military or not, no innocent bystander deserves to die for being on the 'wrong' side. Simply, I believe in life. I'm American by chance, military by force, but doctor by choice."

Tan nodded. "It's settled then."

They shook hands and Dr. Tan and the firing squad walked away.

"Frank, get back to the other side and find somewhere were you'll be out of the way and out of trouble, if that's possible. While you're there, tell Radar and Klinger to bring the bus."

Hawkeye's voice was hard and strangely emotionless, and the Major quickly obeyed.

Hawk and I stood in silence at the middle of the bridge for awhile. He made no mention of his shocking deal with the Chinese, but I wasn't about to let it by that easily. "Hawk, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm waiting for Radar and Klinger to bring the bus so we can walk with it the rest of the way over and load up the guys we came for." As he finished speaking, he moved to the side so the bus could pass and then moved to follow it.

I couldn't seem to make my voice work, so I grabbed his shoulder before he got too far.

He stopped and let out a weary sigh that belied his flippant words and his earlier confidence, and then he turned to face me. "Nine lives, Trapper. Who knows how many more depending on how much help I can give them. All that at the risk of just one death. I'm going to do this."

My blood turned cold at his mention of his death, and if possible, I was more frightened at that moment than I had been facing the Chinese guns. I guess I wasn't scared for my own life at the time, so I had more time to be terrified for his.

"Let me go," I pleaded. "They need you at the 4077."

"They need you too, and you've got a family to worry about. We're not discussing this. I did this to gain a little trust from the Chinese; it defeats the purpose if I don't follow through with my own offer. Come on, we'd better get moving before they get suspicious."

We headed across the bridge where the bus and the Chinese waited.

The loading went smoothly, and again Hawkeye made small talk with Dr. Tan to ease the tense silence. Radar and Klinger kept shooting us confused and apprehensive looks. They'd been able to tell Hawk was angry with Frank, had seen the Chinese turn away, had seen us call them back, but they didn't know what had happened. Neither of us gave them any answers.

When we finished loading, Hawk pulled me to the side and gave me the patient information Dr. Tan had given him. It was time for him to leave. We just stood looking at each other in silence for several moments before we couldn't take it anymore.

Hawkeye nervously shifted his weight to his other leg and broke the silence, "Well... I guess--"

I pulled him into a hug before he could finish. I fought back the tears that were clouding my eyes as I clung to him. I couldn't make myself let him go for a long time. Eventually though, he pulled away slowly and rested his hand on my shoulder lightly.

"Take care of yourself, Hawk," I said. My voice sounded rougher than I'd intended.

"Try to keep yourself out of too much trouble while I'm gone," Hawk replied. "I want to be there to help you terrorize our fellow 4077 inmates. I wouldn't want you to get court-martialed alone."

"I promised the judge a dynamic duo, so that's what he'll get. And remember, you still owe me a drink in Tokyo."

Hawkeye grinned and patted my shoulder affectionately, and then his smile faded a little as he caught sight of Dr. Tan waving him over to their jeep.

He turned back to me in full seriousness and said, "Trap, look after Radar will you? Tell him there are a couple bottles of Grape Nehi and Orange Soda for him in my footlocker. And Trapper? In case something happens, I wrote--"

"Hawkeye…"

"Trap, there're some letters at the bottom of my footlocker, okay?"

"Hawk…"

"And don't you dare let anyone, including yourself, do anything stupid like come after me, okay?"

"Hawk… I—"

"Okay?"

I nodded dumbly past the lump in my throat.

"Thank-you. For everything." He squeezed my shoulder and then smiled and started to pull the humor-veil back into place. He grinned at me again, only a little sadly, and said, "And no matter how much you want to, don't forget to pick up Ferret-Face on your way back."

I attempted a smile back at him, but I'm not sure I succeeded. With another brief hug and quickly exchanged goodbyes—well, a goodbye from Hawkeye, a "see you later" from me—he turned and walked to where Dr. Tan stood.

They nodded to each other then climbed into the waiting vehicle. Hawkeye waved and smiled at me again as they drove off, but from a distance somehow it was easier to see the fear in his eyes.

The jeep disappeared around the corner and I made my way back to the bus. I wearily climbed the steps and joined Klinger and Radar where they waited.

"Let's go get Frank and go home," I said as I sank into one of the seats. They both shot me a look then looked at each other.

"Where's Hawkeye?" Radar asked, trying to sound more casual than any of us felt.

"He's not coming back with us."

They're mouths dropped open and they looked ready to protest, but I couldn't take it. I got up and turned my back on them to check the patients. "Let's get moving. These guys don't have all day."