Chapter 9
Disclaimer: Starsky and Hutch do not belong to me unfortunately. No profit is being made and the story is for entertainment purposes only.
WARNINGS: The story does deal with male rape and the aftermath so if this topic offends, please read no further.
With many thanks to Sparkle for her help in sorting out the mess.
Chapter
As Starsky started to regain consciousness, he was confused and disoriented, aware only of a throbbing pain radiating through him. He couldn't remember hurting this way before, and he had pain in places he didn't know he had, inside and out. Lying flat on his stomach, legs still spreadeagled, the blindfold and gag still firmly in place and his arms still bound behind him, he was initially unsure of where he was or why. But as consciousness returned, so did his memory…OH GOD! As the reality returned in force, he started to shake. Nothing had ever hurt so much, nothing could have prepared him for this pain. He had not wanted to live through the vicious assault. Why wasn't he dead? Hutch…you should have saved me…Struggling with hysteria and terror, he attempted to move his legs together but the agony spiked, making him feel as if he had a knife stuck deep inside him. But he continued his slow and painful movements, not wanting to remain in such a vulnerable position.
"Hello, David, my friend." Starsky tensed at the unwelcome return of his rapist. "You're in a bit of a mess here. Guess you haven't done this before but don't worry it gets easier."
Starsky was unaware of the tears running down his face as his rapist talked to him. The thought of going through it again was enough to destroy his sanity and his trembling became even more pronounced.
"I must admit I wondered if you'd done this with your partner but I guess not…" Starsky wanted to scream in protest as he felt something soft and cold being applied to his buttocks but he was so tired. He couldn't bear to be touched, but he lacked the strength to fight. "You've bled quite a bit. But it won't be so bad next time and you won't bleed so much. You made me angry, David, and I warned you about that. I could've made it much better for you, especially as it was your first time. But I'm not angry now…"
The soft wet cloth was soothing on Starsky's burning pain and he made little protest as Jackson continued to clean him up, knowing he wasn't capable of moving anyway.
"I'm gonna keep you around until Hutchinson is ready to take your place, but if you keep me busy then I might not be in such a hurry to bring him in." Starsky was completely shattered by the rape and was only barely aware of the words being spoken to him. They held no meaning to him, his world had become focused on the pain in his body. His mind was trying to deal with the enormity of what had happened but it was too overwhelming.
"I think you're accepting that you belong to me now." Jackson continued the almost soothing motion with the wet cloth. After a few minutes he gently rolled Starsky onto his back.
Starsky just lay there helplessly, in total physical and emotional shock, unable to deal with what had happened. The whole scenario had a nightmarish feel to it. The only reminder to him that he wasn't dreaming was the constant ache in his body. He knew he couldn't dream such intense pain. He remained very still as Jackson stroked his face, wiping the moisture of his tears from his cheek.
"You probably didn't much enjoy that, but it will be better the next time, I promise."
Starsky let his mind shut down, not wanting to think, not wanting to feel. It was too late to pray for a rescue and he made no attempt to struggle as Jackson reached under his neck and pulled him gently into a sitting position. He only reacted as the pain from the move shot through him, making him feel as if he was going to throw up. He felt as if he'd been split in two and desperately wanted to lie down again. Jackson held him firmly but gently while he tried to adjust. Starsky dropped his head and focused on trying to control his breathing and ignoring his protesting body.
"Don't worry, David, it'll be okay…" Jackson tried to soothe the distressed brunet. Starsky couldn't think about anything except the agony he was experiencing and he was nearly oblivious to Jackson until he felt his cruel gag being loosened and pulled down. He took in deep and gasping breaths, his mouth and lips dry and swollen after being gagged for an interminable time. Before he could do anything else, he felt something cold being placed against his lips and despite his fear, he instinctively drank the liquid thirstily as it was offered to him.
"That's better, David. See I can be friendly when I want, and you'll soon learn…"
Starsky started to feel the effects almost immediately and knew he'd been drugged, but it didn't seem to matter. He craved oblivion, anything to escape the torment he was experiencing. But the feeling which was rapidly spreading through him was strangely relaxing and an eerie feeling of well being started to grow. Eerie because he knew he should be fighting but he wasn't able to even as he was laid back down and his legs gently pulled apart. The touching had become gentle but he was too devastated to comprehend the change in mood and every touch seemed to reverberate through his bruised and battered body. Still blindfolded, he couldn't see Jackson but he felt his weight as it lay on him, and the warm breath as Jackson's mouth closed over his. He just lay there sick to his heart as Jackson's tongue began to probe his mouth. He moved off Starsky slightly so he could whisper to him.
"That's much better, David. I don't want to kill you, I really don't…I guess you like me after all. You do belong to me now, friend. Your partner will hate you…"
Jackson moved back onto Starsky and continued the kiss, allowing it to deepen. Starsky couldn't move, the drugs and Jackson's weight effectively pinning him down. The pain from his abused body and the drugs finally won and he slipped into unconsciousness.
---
Hutch approached the house slowly, his instincts warning him that he had found the right place, although he couldn't explain his feeling. It was an older building and slightly rundown with nothing distinctive about it. He crept up to the front of the house, trying to peer into the window of what was obviously a lounge. But the room was dark and it was hard to make out any particular details. It was also empty. He continued round the side of the house, trying to peer into the windows but the house appeared to be dark and unoccupied. As he neared another larger window, he noticed thick curtains were drawn. Although he couldn't see any light, his eyes narrowed in anticipation and he turned around and walked towards the back door. Grabbing the handle, he wasn't surprised to find it locked, but he was surprised at how loose it was. He then reached for his gun, and with his free hand, turned the door with more force until it opened. He looked around quickly at the dingy room and made his way to where he thought the curtained room was. The house remained almost ominously silent but when he got to the door he realized the house wasn't empty at all. He heard the sound of a whispered voice. Taking a deep breath and hoping he wouldn't pass out, Hutch burst into the room, pointing his gun.
"FREEZE! POLICE!"
The sight in the room chilled him to his bones.
--
Huggy didn't like the situation he found himself in and knew he should call Dobey. If Starsky was being held hostage, and Hutch was not still not fully recovered from his own injuries, then both detectives would be in considerable trouble. He found a public phone and placed a call to the precinct.
Dobey was fuming as he raced to the address. He had nearly reached the address when Huggy's message came in and he was furious with the blond detective. Although he was very well aware of the closeness his detectives shared, he couldn't quite believe that Hutch would have raced off in his condition without at least getting back-up. He'd have some strong words to say about that little stunt when he caught up with Hutch. The Captain's car squealed to a stop.
---
Jackson was growing frustrated by Starsky's lack of response but realized he must have given him too many drugs. He was concentrating on him too much to notice the sound of the door being forced open and was only aware of the interruption when Hutch yelled at him to freeze. He looked up angrily as a pale but clearly enraged Hutch entered the room. Hutch's heart went cold at the sight of his naked partner being straddled by the scruffy little perp.
Despite his own lingering weakness, Hutch grabbed Jackson and threw him against the wall, stunning him. As he took a good look at the unconscious and clearly badly injured Starsky, Hutch turned his attention back to the perp, grabbing him again as he prepared to vent his fury.
The unexpected voice of his captain stopped him. "HUTCHINSON! Take care of your partner!"
The words penetrated the red-hot fury of the blond detective and he turned back to Starsky's motionless body.
"He's not yours any more Hutchinson! He belongs to me now!" Jackson mocked, trying to provoke the other man.
Hutch turned again in fury but Dobey put up a warning hand to stop him from acting on his impulse to pound the other man's face in.
"You take care of your partner and I mean that!" Dobey growled gruffly as he quickly moved Jackson out of the way of the furious detective, although he was tempted himself to beat the pulp out of Jackson. The image of the naked and bruised Starsky lying on the bed was not something he was going to forget easily and it seemed obvious what had happened. God only knew what he would have walked into had Hutch had any time alone with the man who had done to his partner. Dobey pushed Jackson out the room with more force than necessary. He sighed deeply, knowing this was bad, very bad.
Hutch was holding back his emotions with difficulty as he saw the condition of his partner and best friend. He quickly and gently pulled the blindfold off and turned him onto his side to untie his wrists, which were nearly blue from being bound for so long but also blood-caked from the desperate attempts to escape. He gently pulled Starsky into his arms, wanting to believe this was a nightmare that they'd both wake up from. Starsky remained limp in his arms, still unconscious.
"Ken, Ken..." Dobey's voice was uncertain. After turning Jackson over to a black and white that had arrived on the scene, he had returned to the bedroom. "We've got to get him to the hospital. He's been..." Dobey couldn't continue.
Hutch nodded, unable to speak as he tried to come to terms with the terrible events. He knew Starsky needed help, but he also knew how much he'd hate anyone knowing what had happened to him. Despite appearances to the contrary, Starsky was an intensely private man, and he was going to hate being on display. Undoubtedly the case would bring much publicity and the court case would force Starsky to relive the horrid events all over again. As he held his unconscious partner in the shelter of his arms, Hutch made a decision and prayed that Dobey wouldn't try to stand in their way. It was very much a time for me and thee, even though the thee part of the team was not capable of speaking up for himself at the moment.
"Cap'n, we've gotta get him out of here. Back to my place." He held up his hand at Dobey's expression. "I know he needs a doctor, and I'll get him one. But no hospital. Cap'n. You know how he is. He's not going to want anyone to know what happened here and nobody will know." Hutch held Starsky close, as if he could protect him from the damage that had already been done.
"Ken, I understand but for the charges to stick…" Dobey was sympathetic to his detectives, but he hated to think of the monster getting away with the monstrous act he'd committed.
"Fuck the charges Cap'n! We've got him on kidnapping and attempted murder. This doesn't need to come out and shouldn't. I know Starsky. Captain, please…."
Dobey rubbed his eyes, feeling a hundred years old. "Okay Ken, I'll get Huggy to come in and I'll take this piece of scum in." He walked out wearily.
Hutch was rather surprised at his Captain's sudden agreement but was too worried about Starsky to question it. He lay the brunet down gently, wincing at the sight of the blood and bruises covering his body. There was barely any clear skin on his body. He had pinch marks and the clear imprint of fingerprints everywhere. The monster had really done a real number on him.
Hutch looked around the room. He wanted desperately to get Starsky dressed. Vaguely he remembered something about a basement and he guessed that he would find Starsky's clothes there. Fighting back his own nausea and distress at the thought of what his partner had been through, he gently placed Starsky down on the bed and started to look for the basement entrance. Finding it easily, he raced down the stairs, turning the light on as he did. He shuddered as he saw the clothes scattered everywhere, the blue Addias, the worn blue jeans, the familiar shirt and underwear. The dried blood on the ground told of a horror story Hutch wasn't sure he was ready to know about. But as he gathered Starsky's belongings, he knew he'd do whatever it took to help his best friend. His shoulder was in agony, and he was feeling slightly dizzy from the pain and from the overwhelming emotions, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered to him except his partner. By the time he collected the items and returned to the bedroom, Starsky was starting to rouse.
Hutch raced back into the room and saw that Starsky had curled up into a fetal position. So that he wouldn't startle him, Hutch called out Starsky's name as he cautiously approached him. The sight of some fresh blood on the brunet's buttocks horrified him. There wasn't a lot, but it spoke volumes to the frightened blond.
"Starsk?" he whispered as he walked up to the bed, horrified at the blank expression in the usually expressive blue eyes.
"Hutch. Whatya doin' here?" Starsky muttered in a confused voice. He still wasn't at all that sure that he wasn't dreaming this. Hadn't he dreamt of Hutch coming to his rescue since he'd been captured? But Hutch hadn't been there to save him, he'd been raped by a pervert. He'd really been raped…the thought of that violation made him physically ill.
Hutch couldn't be here. Hadn't he asked God that Hutch not find him like this? He must be hallucinating. He didn't want Hutch to see him in this condition.
"What do you mean what am I doing here? I came here looking for you." Hutch sat down on the bed, careful not to startle his partner.
"It's too late, Hutch. I don't need looking after any more…." The note of defeat in Starsky's voice frightened Hutch even more than the flat, dead look in his eyes.
"As long as you're my partner, you need looking after and that's my job, buddy! Nobody else is going to do it" Hutch longed to reach out to him, but didn't dare. Starsky was so distant and traumatized.
"I'm dead, Hutch."
Hutch felt his heart drop at the words. What did Starsky mean by that? Then a thought struck him. Starsky's flat tone, the total lack of emotion, very unlike his volatile partner. Hutch leaned forward and looked into the eyes, staring out but seeing nothing. Fuck! Starsky was undoubtedly in shock, but there was something else and Hutch had a good idea what it was. He'd been drugged. The main thing now was to get him dressed and out of there so a doctor could decide on the treatment. Wasting no more time, Hutch lifted Starsky up and tried to get his shirt back on. Starsky made no attempt to move initially. He'd almost gotten used to this, his body didn't belong to him anymore and he didn't care. He belonged to that pervert. His life as he'd known it was over.
Hutch held back the sobs with difficulty as he tried to dress the dazed Starsky. At the same time, Hutch tried to quickly clean the blood from some of the worst wounds and Starsky just allowed him to, lying there without protest. But as Hutch tried to pull the jeans back on, Starsky started to sob, pleading with him to stop and not to touch him any more. This tall blond man looked like his Hutch and he couldn't bear it. He never wanted Hutch to see him like this even if he was an hallucination. Hutch couldn't bear it either and reached down to pull Starsky into his arms, hoping for a response. This was the heart rendering scene that Huggy walked into.
Huggy had waited impatiently in the car after calling Dobey. When Dobey had arrived he'd spared little time to speak to Huggy and had indicated he should wait. The waiting seemed endless but as the patrol cars turned up, he figured they'd found the right house. He watched as officers moved in and escorted a tall thin man into their vehicle. Dobey then emerged from the house and walked over to Huggy.
Huggy braced himself; the lines of strain were clearly evident on the captain's face.
"You'd better go in, Huggy. They're gonna need you," Dobey's voice actually broke and Huggy felt his heart sink. "Oh, and thanks for calling me!" Dobey called as he returned to his car.
Huggy walked slowly into the house, some instinct in him telling him he would be facing an unspeakable situation. He thought he'd prepared himself, but the sight of a half-dressed Starsky in Hutch's arms was nearly his undoing and he automatically backed away. Until he saw the appeal in Hutch's blue eyes and it was an appeal he was powerless to ignore. He felt both honoured and scared, for these two usually only let the other take care of them when they were injured. For Hutch to look to him for help, Starsky must be in a bad way. Seeing the bruises and marks over his body, and knowing he was half dressed, told Huggy what he didn't want to know. He prayed he had the strength to help.
"Hug… I need help. Gotta get him dressed and out of here. He's been given something but I don't know what. He's pretty dopey. I need to get him home." Hutch said softly.
With difficulty they managed to get him dressed with Starsky leaning on Hutch, badly in need of the physical support and comfort. The clothes felt odd to Starsky but then his whole world had been tilted on its axis and he felt like he was in a strange and detached place as Hutch helped him. Hutch couldn't take all his weight with his injury, but Starsky didn't want Huggy to touch him and grew quite upset when Huggy approached him. Starsky turned his head into Hutch's shoulder, not wanting to look at anyone or have anyone look at him but he seemed to know on an instinctual level that he could trust Hutch. Starsky was groggy and confused and Hutch was convinced that he wasn't fully aware of what was happening.
Hutch helped Starsky stand up, with Huggy close behind him but without warning Starsky pulled away and stumbled, falling to the ground before Huggy or Hutch could catch him. Hutch leaned down to help him stand back up, but Starsky rolled away, tears rolling down his face.
"No, leave me. Please just leave me alone…" The sight of the cowering and sobbing Starsky broke their hearts and Hutch reached out to him again, refusing to give up. Huggy stood back and watched, both hands covering his mouth and fighting back his own strong emotion.
"Hey, babe, it's me Hutch. I'm gonna help you." Starsky moved away. Hutch. It couldn't be Hutch, and even if it was he still had to get away. "No Hutch can't see me like this…" Starsky cried, unaware that he had spoken aloud. Hutch got down on the ground and crawled over to him, making sure that he didn't crowd him. Huggy watched the scene with horror and disbelief, feeling a rapidly overwhelming fury against the perp who'd caused such hurt to his friends. "Hey, Starsk. I wanna help you, babe, but you've got to help me. I hate seeing you hurt." Hutch said in a gentle, soothing voice, trying desperately to calm his distraught partner. A similar rage to what Huggy was feeling was starting to fill Hutch as he saw his frightened partner but he fought back his anger with difficulty. He didn't want to scare Starsky even more. "But you don't have to be ashamed. This isn't your fault and I want to help you. Please…" his plea seemed to reach Starsky.
"I didn't want you to see me like this, Hutch. I wanted to die first. He said you'd hate me…" Starsky said, finally breaking down and giving in to his out of control emotions. Hutch moved cautiously over to his partner and took him carefully in his arms, trying not to be upset as he felt Starsky stiffen up.
"I don't hate you, Starsk, never could hate you. I just want to help you." Surprisingly, Hutch felt his embrace being returned, albeit awkwardly and quickly. Starsky shifted slightly after just a few seconds.
Finally, and very slowly, they got Starsky out to the car. The bright light of the sun hurt his eyes, and he turned his face into Hutch's shoulder again, keeping them closed. The light of the day revealed the number of bruises on his face and Hutch found himself tensing. How he wished he'd killed Jackson.
"Take us to my place, Hug. It's closer and I need a doctor. He's not going to hospital but I need to get him checked." Hutch said as he settled himself into the back seat beside his injured partner. He could only pray that the doctor would be able to help.
AUTHORS NOTE: I took some licence here with having Dobey agree to not reporting the attack. They would probably have to but I chose to have him support S&H even if it stretches credibility.
