CHAPTER 7

And they went camping.

Frodo and Sam eventually caught up to the rest of the group who were waiting for them at the edge of the forest.

"Quickly!" yelled Max motioning the two hobbits to the forest.

"Their pace has quickened. they must've caught our scent. Hurry!" Ella joked to Max, stealing Aragorn's classic line from The Two Towers.

"I don't see what the big hurry is," said Legolas, leaning up against a tree. "They don't seem nearly as threatening as Orcs."

"No, they don't seem threatening at all. In fact they look as if they can be tamed quite easily." said Elrohir, nudging Elladan both sporting cheeky grins.

"Really?" asked Max approaching the twins. "Well if that's the way you feel you are more than welcome to stay here and try to seduce them. But I don't think you'll have any luck, because they're all after the same guy," an evil smirk crossing her face as she glanced at Legolas.

"Him," asked Elladan, "You're telling us that this group of obviously desperate creatures are all after Mr Bubbles over there!"

"Surely not!" exclaimed Elrohir, walking over towards Legolas who had taken offence to the 'Mr Bubbles' reference and recalling the incident which had caused him exposure to all his friends! "What do these desperate women see in Legolas that they do not see in us?"

Now there were many answers to this question, but the girls decided that the best way to put it was.

"To these 'desperate women' you guys aren't eligible bachelors," Ella said bluntly, as the twins reacted with a mumble jumble of rude cries in elvish directed at certain people and the pointing of fingers. until the ground started to shake.

"Guys can we finish this discussion later! Right now we've got a stampede of killer fan girls coming straight for us!" yelled Max, grabbing the twins by their ears and leading them away from the approaching 'wildlife'. The others followed close behind, the hobbits struggling to keep up.

After a few minutes of trekking deeper into the woods, Max realized they were never going to outrun the killer fangirls. She stopped and let go of the twins now deformed ears. Max surveyed the surroundings, and found a decent hiding spot. "Quick, everyone into the trees!" she shouted.

Max, Elrohir and Elladan climbed up with ease and hid amongst the branches, closely followed by Legolas and Ella. They heard the tribe enter the clearing, and begin to quieten down.

Elladan was the first to realise, "Where are the Halflings?"

Ella and Max faced each other as the colour drained from their faces. Hobbits can't climb trees!

"Quick Leggy, peek through those branches to see if the hobbits are down there," whispered Max, who was concocting an evil plan.

Now was her time for revenge. Max quietly leant over as if she was trying to look over Legolas' shoulder but instead shoved him forward and sent him falling head first out of the tree! Unfortunately, the prince spotted a rogue branch he quickly hooked his feet around it and came to a stop only to see a crowd gathering below who began to corner Frodo and Sam into a tree. Merry and Pippin had managed to seek refuge in a large bush, but their comrades had not been so lucky.

On of the girls approached, hand twitching, "Oi! Midgets! Which way did Orlando go!"

Frodo gulped and was about to answer when suddenly, something behind the crowd of fangirls caught his eye. It was Legolas! The Elven Prince was madly waving his arms about in a 'Don't look at me!' way. Sam too noticed the dramatic display and blanched. The hobbits exchanged petrified glances. They were outnumbered and the fangirls were armed with their pens and Orlando posters.

"I-I think he w-went that w-way," Sam pointed to the deepest, darkest, dirtiest part of the woods.

"In there?" asked the leader

"Y-yes," stuttered Sam shifting his eyes from side to side.

"You'd better not be lying to us," the girl sniffed, "because I should warn you that we are armed and will not hesitate to draw out our weapons and graffiti your faces with black permanent marker. So choose your words wisely because permanent marker is extremely hard to get off!"

"Well I can see you lot aren't true Orlando fans," said Frodo stepping forward with confidence.

"And why aren't we?"

"Well for starters you're all still standing here wasting your time with us. Orlando would be long gone by now, so I think you're pretty dumb not to go after him straight away, seeing he's such a fast runner, but being fangirls I thought you knew that."

"Yeah the midget's got a point, what are we doing just standing here letting him get away." piped up one fangirl with braces and her blonde curly hair in piggy tails, "Oh my gosh girls - Orlando's playing hard to get - AFTER HIM!"

So off went the crazy fangirls, into the deepest, darkest, dirtiest part of the woods, chanting their faithful cry of 'OR-LAN-DO! OR-LAN-DO!' with the hope that they might find their beloved Hollywood heartthrob at the end of their chase. When they were out of site the group slipped cautiously down the tree.

Glaring daggers at Max, Legolas turned to the group, "You say they're after me. But then why do they chant O-R-L-A-N-D-O?"

Ella blushed, "I'll show you when we get back to the house."

Max sniggered, she knew Ella had once been a rabid Orlando fangirl too. Her HUGE poster collection was hidden safely in her wardrobe. They snuck back to the house and crept through the door. The place seemed more or less untouched by the army that had stormed through.

Ella grabbed one of her posters and held it up. "This is Orlando. Orlando Bloom, really. He err... plays you in a... play?"

"H-he looks just like me!" Legolas's cried, his eyes wide.

"Well," smirked Max, "They do say everyone has a twin somewhere out there! Here's yours!"

Laughing, Ella let Legolas keep the poster to 'muse over'. In a few moments the girls were packed and ready to leave again, ferrets snuggling in their pockets.

"Come on guys!" grinned Max, "We're gonna camp out at the pet store until this all cools down."

Nodding, the others grabbed their back-packs. All except Elladan and Elrohir who complained they needed a moments rest.

"You're a slave driver you know," Elrohir groaned, getting more comfortable on the couch.

"Fine," Max frowned, "But I just know me and Ella are gonna get stuck dragging your mangled, fangirl-tortured bodies up to our comfortable beds and waiting on you hand a foot. We'll bring food and drink and sweets, fluffing your pillows and rubbing your bruises with oil-" The twins were too busy smiling at each other to notice the glint in her eyes, "but then again, this is a good chance for me to practice medicine! I'll bring bandages and splints and big needles!" She began to get excited, "Oh! And then I'll bring in a big iron pole and water and try the famous, but ever so slightly dangerous, ELECTRIC SHOCK THERAPY! Of course I'm not a REAL doctor, but that's just a minor difficulty - easily faked, err... haha, I mean fixed! And - hey where'd they go?"

Ella laughed, "They were packed and ready to go at 'big iron pole' and out the door at 'not a REAL doctor'. I think they're hiding in the car. Good one Max!" The girls high-fived.

"I've never seen them run so fast in my life," Legolas laughed, "At least not since they cut out the back off Lord Elrond's robe and he spent the rest of the day with a draft in his nether regions, not knowing why."

The thought of the grand Lord Elrond with a big hole in the back of his robes sent the girls to the floor in fits of laughter, followed shortly by Merry and Pippin who had taken a moment to catch on. The laughter was cut short when Legolas, who'd left the room a few moments earlier, returned carrying Ella's "Orlando B. Box". Max gasped and Ella, herself let out a strained whimper. Legolas just gazed at them, a curious look on his face.