Chapter 8: The Chin of Judgement
Whale the Whale and his uneasy toaster companion began their tireless trek into the vast desert, praying to come across some sign of civilization. As the tired sea-faring mammal wipes the dirty, sandy sweat from his brow, he notices a crumpled piece of paper being tossed about by the dry wind of the sandy dunes.
He reaches for the piece of parchment and unfolds it, taking from it the knowledge of a sale on bananas for thirty-nine cents a pound at the legendary Temple of Albertson's. Suddenly, the cursed whale's eyes light up. "Do you know what this means!?" he says as he shows the newspaper advertisement to the confused toaster, who replies, "We're going to get our daily dose of potassium?" Whale the Whale shakes his head in disapproval and says, "No, It means convenient services, competitive pricing, superior brands, and everything you need!" "Ohhhhhh, of course!" replies the young toaster. And so, they both set off for the lost relic that was once known as Albertson's.
Hours later, our heroes are still found traveling through the desert. Lost, hungry, and tired, they begin to slow their charge to a meager crawl as fatigue sets in, especially on Whale the Whale, who is used to an aquatic lifestyle…
"I…I can't go on…" says the tired whale, panting with each step.
"But you have to…I don't want to come all this way for nothing!" pleads the toaster.
"No…it's too late for me…" mutters Whale the Whale before collapsing from dehydration. The panicking of the toaster over his fallen body being the last thing he sees before consciousness fades…
Wha…where am I?
Everything's so…dark…
Am I dead? Is this Hell?
A voice speaks out to the confused whale, "Do not fear, my child, you are under my protection" In front of him stands a godly spirit, with an even godlier chin. "Who are you? Where am I?" asks Whale the Whale. "I am Bruce Campbell, and you are in my holy realm", states the spirit, "I was once a great leader of this Earth, I led my peoples into the spirit world. Armed with nothing more then a prosthetic chainsaw and my holy staff, Boomstick, my country fiercely went up against the gods themselves and won. Now I reign over the heavens, watching over this world of mine with my majestic cleft."
"But, why did you bring me here? Why did you save me?" asks the confused whale, to which Bruce replies, "You are destined for great things, my child, but that is far down the road, and this is the now." Bruce's eyes then begin to glow a brilliant shade of mauve as his gaze pierces deep into the whale's psyche. "W-what are you doing to me?!?" screams Whale the Whale. "Relax…" says Campbell, "You search for the Albertson's, correct? Do not fear, for it does exist; I am uploading the coordinates into your mind as we speak. When you awake, simply follow my directions and you shall reach your destination…"
Moments later, Whale the Whale regains his consciousness to a worried toaster. "Oh God, I thought you died! Are you okay!?" yells the frightened toaster. Whale the Whale gets to his feet and brushes himself off before responding, "I'm fine" and trekking off into the desert. The toaster stands there, thinking to himself for a second before sprinting off to catch up to his aquatic ally.
"Where are you going?" says the inquisitive toaster.
Whale the Whale turns his head and says "I'm going shopping."
Commentary: Finally, after a horrible case of writer's block, I present to you…Whale the Whale: Chapter Eight. After going through months and months of having literally nothing pop into my head on the subject of animorphic whales and the suffering deep down inside, I decided to just steal something from an old Uncyclopedia article I wrote on Silver the Hedgehog about him being banished to get some eggs and milk from the Albertson's. Anyway, this chapter finally got the idea ball rolling again, so expect new chapters when I get done with PGR 4, which is on it's way in the mail as we speak. Rubs hands together Yeeeeeees, I weel drive ze Caparo und I weel drive eet good!
