Author's Notes: Umm, my last chapter was a bit... odd. Okay, it was super weird!! So forgive me... I'm not really a pervert... and some of the things I wrote scared me. And I wrote them for heaven's sake!! I must have been on something... even though I did not, do not, and never will do drugs.
Anyway, hopefully this super late chapter will be less frightening for younger audiences.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I also do not say any of these bizarre things that will be coming out our favourite characters' mouths.
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Things That Fruits Basket Character's Would Never Say
Chapter II: Furuba Oddness.
By Konnichiwa Minna
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Kyou: Oh my, me thought he purged the air of pestilence with his graceful, gliding steps of wonder. I cannot fathom how my dislike for my beloved Yuki ever existed, for, now, all that exists is my true love and respect for him.
Tohru: Kyo, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but... I am your father!!! MUHAHAHA! Uh, I mean mother! Mother!!
Yuki: Shigure, I have thought deeply about your proposal. I accept. I will be your lawfully wedded wife! Forever, baby!
Shigure: -serious- Ayame. You really need to become a man. No more girly dresses for you.
Akito: You know, I was going to be a good person, but I found that boring. Back to pistols and shotguns for me!! Oh yeah, I love these babies. Lemme give 'em a shot. -pow- Aww, I'm soaked! Stupid water gun, I was pointing it towards Momiji, not me!
Hatori: I confess, I used to date Shigure... but there's a good reason. He told me he had this incurable disease. It was later that I found out that the disease was stupidity.
Ayame: Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Momiji: Akito, darling, it was never meant to be.
Hatsuharu: If you wannabe my lover, you gotta get with my friends! Make it last forever, friendship never ends!
Rin: Hahahaha! Booger! -sticks out tongue-
Kureno: Eat my shorts, man!!
Arisa: Gah, it's another Simpsons cheesy clip show... I'm gonna go make some delicious leeks-free dinner for my Kyo.
Saki: ... I can see your ass. Cover it up, will ya?
Hiro: Oh, my tummy hurts... -poops- All better.
Kagura: Hey Shigure, would it kill ya to make some noise? I can hear my own annoying thoughts about Kyo.
Kisa: Hiro, we're over man! I go to the grocery shop and buy the food. Then I come home and clean the house. After I make the dinner, you keep all the food to yourself. Then you poop it out and expect me to clean it up. Men, there all the same! -sigh-
Ritsu: -mocking- Aww, poor baby wants a bottle! -rude- Well, too bad! You gotta grow up and make it on your own in life! Be a man! Rub some dirt on your injuries!
Kimi: A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.
Machi: DON'T HAVE A COW MAN! Jeez, you're so GAY!
Megumi: You little punk! I'm gonna beat you good! You'll be so beaten up, you'll be... dead! Yeah, that's it! Haha, dead. Uh oh, cops! Gotta run!
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Author's Notes: Um, everyone please forgive me if it sucked. Also, some quotes may be wrong. And I'm sorry if people thought I was crazy, especially since I wrote that huge lecture. It was just for fun, I think... I can't remember. I'm also sorry for updating like 4 months later. I've been really busy and lots of things have happened. I got depressed and wanted to commit suicide, etc... but I think I'm okay now! I'll try to be more calm and not as crazy anymore, 'kay? Well, if anyone does read this, I will sincerely appreciate it. And I'll appreciate it even more if you review and tell me your opinions on this chapter.
Was it better or worse than the last chapter? Let me know!
Flames are accepted. I don't think I will give any long lectures anymore.
:D
Konnichiwa Minna
