"hahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha-You're hahah tellin' me hehe that ha the he great ice frosted cubodic cubular cube of the greatest iciest cubies in the world actually got a ruler and measured himself? Hahahahaha"

"No"

"Oh"

"My Dad did"

Neji: Is there something you need to tell us Sasuke, we will still be you friend no matter what happens, through sickness and health, for better or-

Slap

Tenten:You don't love me wail it's so blatant, why did I not see it before? You distant good looks, your offhand remarks, you never paid any attention to me, I now know why. I mean it shoulda been obvious when you never looked at any porn or naked women. Oh God Neji—

Neji: yells are you saying that because I will not lower myself to look at porn I'm gay?? Fine I will look at porn.

Wail moan wail

Tenten: Oh my God Neji you look at porn!! How degrading, do you know that really offends me?? I will never talk to again.

Runs off wailing

Neji: Tenten wait-

Runs after her

Sakura:whoa, all that from the size off weenies

Naruto: Hey Sasuke, did you dad really measure you weenie?

Sasuke: Of course, why do you think I was so upset? That's one of the reason Itachi killed everyone.

Uhm…………

Sasuke: You know. Coz' my dad only had time to measure one off us, so my mum had to measure my brothers.

Naruto: And that was because…………..?

Sasuke: Well for some reason mum always use to moan and wiggle for some reason.

Silence

Light bulb goes on somewhere.

Sakura: hey, sasi, do you know why you mother twitched……..you know………………why she really twitched….?

Sasuke: Of course

Relieved sigh

Sasuke: She had mental problems.

Crap

Sakura: Didn't anyone tell you about…you know…loving other people?

Sasuke: My dad of course. He said don't do it.

Sakura: But what about when you go older, didn't anyone ever tell you anything about a loving happy relationship.

Sasuke: Everyone was dead

Awkward pause.

Sakura: Er...well….how about you come over to my place later and I'll...umm…explain everything in detail?

Sasuke: Hn

Sakura: Great. Come around seven.

Naruto: what about me?

Sakura: Sorry I don't do threesomes, and you Ramen will get cold.

Naruto: mmmmmm…..Ramen, she waits for me forever.

Sakura: You know Naruto, I'm surprised you aren't damaged permanently; don't you eat anything but ramen? Actually, as a medic-nin I'm going to have to say, that you are not aloud to eat any more Ramen for the sake of you physical and mental health.

Naruto: No-no-no R-r-r-r-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-n-n-no-o-o-o-r-r-r-r-r-r-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Sasuke: Oh shut up dobe

Naruto: sticks his tongue out well how would you like it if your lifeline was suddenly taken away from you hmm?? In fact you probably don't have a life-evil grin-oh wait. You do. Mwhahahahahahahhahha. I will revenge you my ramen.

Sasuke: Err…I wasn't the one who took it away from you…..and anyway, I don't have a 'lifeline'.

Naruto: hehehehe hahahahah hehehehe haha.

Slap

Sakura: My God he's lost it!

Naruto: Oh yes you do Sasuke. Tomatoes. Yes my precious, he likes them, we shall gets he we shall. Down wiv ze hobbit. Tricks them we shall. Snicker snicker snicker

Pause.

Sasuke: How did you find out about that?? It was a secret, nobody should know, for that you will die.

Naruto: Er Sasuke, you basically only eat tomato soup. Anyway, that's not the reason you going to kill me, duh, even I know your going to kill me so you can get the new type of Sharingan: The way to dark and good lookin' sexy little bad boy type of sharingan.

Pause. eh?

Sakura: It's called Mangekyo sharingan or something stupid like that, you know something how the hell are we suppose to pronounce crap like that? I mean it's the same with the bloody jutsus, I would be way ahead of you guys except I can't actually say the words!! Hahahaha, I just make them up. Thoughtfully to herself-I think that's why Naruto peanuts are so nutless!

Naruto: WHAT?? Is that why I can't make babies?? I mean I've tried so many times and nothing has happened. This is why?? THIS MEANS NO ONE WILL EXPERIENCE THE JOYS OF NARUTO UZUMAKI!!

Sakura: Who exactly are you doing it with?.

Naruto: You!

Sasuke: What?? Sakura how could you?? I thought you were still pure as the driven snow after somebody backed a oil truck through it?

Sweat drop

Sakura: Naruto…..trust me, if I had been sleeping with you I would have known it. So It obviously wasn't the real me.

Naruto: Of course it wasn't. It was a picture I found with Lee, he let me borrow it for a while. You know as friends. I have been trying to make you pregnant for ages, but the stalk never brought me a bubble-gum eyed green haired baby.

Eh?

Sakura: That doesn't work any more Naruto. And if you shout one more time, I will castrate you. Comprende?

Nod Nod

Sakura: I don't see why you're nodding Sasuke-you'd never shout even if a weird alien mutant freak started fondling you.

Sasuke: Actually I did.

Pause

Sasuke: Then it was okay. It was only my brother.

Sakura: Oh that's o-eh?