Hey, sorry for the long wait, I had loads of revision, I still do but…you know…it bores me.
Anyway I'm changing the format from script back to the normal version-it was a request! Thank you for all the reviews; I can't believe people actually like my story!
So, enough talk, on with the story: warning-it may be crap.
Sakura: I don't see why you're nodding Sasuke-you'd never shout even if a weird alien mutant freak started fondling you.
Sasuke: Actually I did.
Pause
Sasuke: Then it was okay. It was only my brother.
Sakura: Oh that's o-eh?
"I know," Sasuke continued; "I couldn't believe that the great Uchiha Itachi was interested in me, but he was, and you know, if I didn't do what he said he would tell mom on me. He never could stand rejection."
"I think I know why you didn't like those fan girls Sasuke" said Naruto.
"I mean they took all you ramen, ALL the ramen, mwhahahahahahahah, they must die, oh yes, die they shall, force the may with me be."
Eh?
"Naruto….I don't think Sasuke was talking about ramen…in fact when did he ever mention ramen?" Sakura questioned with a slightly cautious and worried look on her face.
"Zyion, Zyion, wyon,………capture you I shall. Implant seed of mine you into I will. Hahahahahahahahahahah. Zyion zyion. (Lightsaber sounds)
"Shut the hell up dobe. It is obvious that the fan girls are not after me for my ramen-I don't have any."
"You don't have any Ramen?? NOOOOOO" Naruto banged his head on the floor wailing and sobbing, crying in despair for something that he knew was the truth, yet it tore him apart to know that it was true.
Evil glare
Naruto quivered in fear from Sasuke, who had his sharingan activated.
Sasuke eyes went back to normal as soon as Naruto closed his fly trap: "Oh come on, it can't be that hard to see why they like me so much"
"Umm…Is it because of you money?" asked Sakura
"No"
"Ooh ooh ooh….It's your chicken hair"
"Oh my god Naruto! You think he has chicken hair to, I thought I was the only one, I mean you'd think with all his money he would actually pay for a proper hair-
Evil glare
Eh hehehe…what I mean to say was…um…your hair is special"
"Hahaha, good one Sakura" said Naruto, "his mommy probably said that too!"
Death glare
Somebody starts choking.
"Okay okay, jeez Sasuke-kun..Naruto,..You got any ideas..?"
"Is it 'coz of your ass, I mean it is a niiiiice ass."
Sasuke smiled prettily; "Really? You don't think these shorts make my ass look fat? I mean answer me seriously. I have to look good"
"No way!" Naruto replied, "If anything it makes your ass look smaller"
"Really, you're not screwing with me? Because I can easily smash in your face"
"Jeez talk about weird" Sakura muttered, it was getting kinda irritating being ignored. Lee wouldn't do it. LEE.
In listening to Sasuke's problems about people fondling him without his knowledge incest being illegal in most countries, and Naruto's mad ravings about ramen she had forgotten about Lee. Hahahaha, plucking wasn' the only thing she did to him.
Flashback
"Okay Lee" said Sakura. "Now that you look sexy with you nicely curved THIN eyebrows, your 'just out of bed' hair; light and fluffy-in spikes! You look like a sex god"
"Oh the youthfulness of me…Know I can show the youthful-
"SHUT UP, don't interrupt me you quack. Understand?"
"Y-y-yes Sakura chan"
"What did I say about interrupting?"
"But-"
"Squiggly"
"wha-"
"meow choo choo fwoosh"
?
"Hahahaha that shut you up quickly didn't it my pretty? Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted-glares at a confused scared looking Lee- You may look like a God but you do NOT sounds or act like one. So I have created a plan. Mwhahahah, see how fast my genius brain is, a plan, a marvellous plan, I'd like to see that Potter come up with a better one!"
Phase one.
"Ok, so first thing you have to do is talk quieter, slower and make your voice deeper instead of a squawk. Got It?"
Manly Voice: "Yes Sakura chan?"
"No you idiot not like Barry white. More like Johnny Depp, god that man is sexy!"
Johnny Depp voice: " AS you wish my blossom"
"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, oh my god it's Johnny Depp, my hair, my face I look ugly, oh my god I need a shave-"
High squeaky voice: "No Sakura chan it's me Rock Lee" puffs out chest.
"Oh"
"Huh, I thought for a second that he had come to kidnap me and ravish me"
"Don't worry Sakura chan, I will stop him and save you!"
Glare, room darkens; funeral music.
"If you even think about stopping him, I will hunt you down and chop you liver up"
"My liver?"
"Yes, and I will feed it to my cat-Pussy"
Awkward pause.
"You cats called Pussy?"
"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?"
"No, no, of course not, snicker snicker."
"Anyway, I want you to stop treating people nicely, be a little mean to them, be strong, be confident, be brave, do not smile, laugh, or grin, do not look happy to see anyone, and above all, do not say any thing with the word 'youth' in it."
"But I need my yout-
"Nah ah ah, not even a peep of that word"
"So, basically you want me to be like Uchiha?"
"Yes!"
"If I do will you go out with me?"
"Mumble mumble mumble"
"Yay"
"Now you will be able to get some action!"
"I'm already getting action."
Pause
"With who?"
"My beloved Gai-sensei of course"
Ew
"We do everything together, we fight so good, and we are a team"
"Wait wait Lee, I'm not talking about fighting action, I'm talking about action with girls, didn't your beloved Gai-sensei ever tell you about that?"
"He said we must be Youthful together"
Bam
People wondered how lee could fly that day, they didn't think to ask the beautiful Sakura though.
"I guess Sasuke, Naruto AND Lee will be coming to my place for a 'chat' tomorrow"
