Esme
Hard Working Woman
-Wed., Feb. 14-
5:30am-It would have been nice just this one time to have a husband who slept in late. I could have surprised him with a Valentine's day breakfast in bed...Well, maybe not breakfast, I would be cleaning up fur for weeks, but something to that effect.
5:40am-Cleaning. Hmm. Since the house is empty except for me, I think I'll get everything nice and clean so Carlisle and I can enjoy our evening alone. Jasper and Alice, Rose and Emmett, and Edward and Bella all have plans to go out this evening. We decided to take the opportunity to stay in and enjoy a little peace and quiet. We seldom get to be alone in the house. It will be a nice change.
6:00am-Does anyone around here ever notice who does the laundry, including someone whose name I won't mention's very stinky socks. How does a vampire get their socks to smell so much like week old garbage-Emmett?-when we don't sweat, therefore there's no reason to produce such pungent body odor?
7:00am-An hour! And that was at vampire speed! It took me an hour to get the smell out of those...those things. I'm not even sure you could call them socks anymore! Once, I thought they were going to stand of their own free will and fight back while I was scrubbing them. Next time I'll just dispose of them properly with a shovel in the back yard.
7:45am-Good Grief! Could someone explain to me why, when we don't even ingest human food and haven't in ages, there are crumbs of some sort in every cabinet in the kitchen-mixed of course with what I assume must be giant turds of the giant rat that's been enjoying those crumbs!?
8:00am-I don't get paid enough to do the things I do around here. What am I saying? I don't get paid at all! And even if I did, it wouldn't be enough...And even if it was..well, I'd quit!
9:15am-Aargh! Jasper, when I get my hands on you, I'm gonna...Deep breaths, Esme...He didn't mean it. I'm sure when he wrote the note asking why the "maid" hadn't changed his sheets yet, he was only trying to be funny. Deep breaths...deep calming breaths..whew!
10:00am-Carlisle called a few minutes ago to say he would be home early. No major traumas so far and the hospital is trying to cut costs by keeping as few staff
on hand as they can each shift. Carlisle doesn't work there for the measly salary anyway, so he offered to forfeit any pay when he isn't on the grounds. He's on call if they need him, but unless he's actually at the hospital he won't make a cent. He is so generous.
Now...how exactly can I fake a headache that would fool an "anxious" vampire/doctor? Just in case he wants to "play doctor" when he gets here. I'm so not in the mood.
11:00am-Do the dishes, Cinderelly. Wash the laundry, Cinderelly. Dust Carlisle's precious books, please, Cinderelly. Well, this Cinderella has just about had enough. If he thinks after the morning I've had that I'm going to spend one second dusting his huge library, he's got another thing coming!
I'm going to tell Prince Charming to stick this feather duster up his...-sigh-
He did say please, didn't he?
1:00pm-I'm calling a Realtor just as soon as I can find a phone book. I'm putting this place on the market, and finding a nice dank cave for the seven of us to wallow in. At least the cobwebs there will blend nicely with the decor.
7:00pm-Managed to avoid physical contact with Carlisle by staying busy helping Rosalie and Alice find something to wear for the evening. I wish I had that nice little cave to crawl into. I'm sick of looking at these walls.
8:00pm-Well, I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet! With all the hustle-bustle I imposed upon myself I completely forgot the reason I was even cleaning in the first place.
Carlisle was trying to get me to come and look at something in his study and I kept telling him I was too busy. Finally he came down himself and carried me-kicking like a mule and fiery as a hornet- upstairs to the most beautiful surprise I didn't deserve.
He had somehow managed to sneak hundreds of red and pink roses into the house and had filled every nook and cranny of his study with them. The floor was carpeted with delicate rose petals from probably another few hundred roses, and there were candles strategically placed to make the room look like it belonged in a fairy tale castle instead of the home I had cursed all day.
I would have cried, but then Carlisle started to serenade me with some horribly sappy ballad and he couldn't keep a straight face.
Happy Valentine's Day to me. I'm such an idiot, but at least my Prince Charming loves me anyway.
