While Bella Sleeps
Edward
11:15- Just dropped Bella off at Charlie's. Of course, I'll be back in her bed in a few minutes -after I drop off the car and run back. If her daddy only knew the thoughts I was thinking about his little girl... Humans are so naive.
11:18- Bella's window was stuck. It's an old house and I guess I have made more use of it lately than it's use to enduring. Had I been human, the sudden stop when I hit the ground would have been painful. Vampires are supposed to be grateful. Thank God Bella doesn't know how incredibly alike we are in the awkward department. If I hadn't slipped on the ice that morning in the parking lot and slid into her, she'd be dead right now. So, I guess my clumsiness is a good thing. Since I have super human quick reflexes, I have so far been able to fool her into thinking I'm a suave, together gentleman who plays hero to her damsel in distress.
snort I wish.
11:45-Ran home and changed before Bella came to the window to investigate the strange crash-bang out on the lawn. I convinced her that Jacob must have been spying on her -the pervert- and it would be best if she snuggled really close to me tonight. Had to stop at that.
Wanted to suggest she removed all her clothes so as to impress upon Jacob that we were "together" if he should be dumb enough to sneak another peek. hee-hee
Afraid this would backfire. Still have her convinced that I'm a saintly virgin intent upon protecting our virtues. Won't she be surprised when she sees the talents I've been perfecting through the centuries.
WHAT? I've been a horny 17 year old for nearly a century! Abstinence is good in theory, but boredom is worse than death! Had to find some new entertainment sometime or other.
MIDNIGHT-Good thing I've developed such excellent self control through the ages. Bella's thoughts are simply devilish!
That's one girl with a xxx mind. May be more than I bargained for. Can't wait 'til the honeymoon!
1:00am- Boring watching Bella sleep all night long. I've recently begun sneaking into Charlie's room and whispering subliminal messages to him.
Tomorrow he's likely to show up at work dressed in fishnets and a leather mini skirt, convinced he's working under cover as an ex-drag queen prostitute. When I left the room he was mumbling about "those darn teenagers and their kinky fetishes".
I've already got him believing that Mike Newton is a serial sexual weirdo who's into licking car door handles for kicks. Charlie has taken to carrying a handkerchief to open ALL doors with now! I crack myself up!
4:00am-One of these days, I really have to find a hobby. So far tonight I have sorted all of Bella's socks into dress and casual, scrubbed the scunge from around the toilet -she never gets it all, and counted 74 spiders crawling around her room. note to self: bring pesticide tomorrow night.
4:25am-Oh, Dear God! Must not let Bella eat Mexican food ever again. I think the hairs in my nose have melted and fused my nasal cavities together. I sure hope so, because if she cuts another one like that last one I am so outta here!
4:30am-Okay, that takes the cake. This has got to be some kind of record. Tomorrow night I'm bringing a camera. How can someone drool that much and not be dehydrated in the morning?
On top of that, Bella just picked her nose...and wiped it on me! Ick! I am going home. I'll just have Alice let me know when Bella's going to wake up and I'll dart back so she thinks I never left. Boogers and drool and gas, Oh My!
