And wake me with the morning light
When the morning light was getting high in the sky, leaning toward afternoon, Bobby found himself dressed and being discharged. He was doing his best to listen to what the doctor was saying. He was distracted by Lucy, he was distracted by the pain in his ribs, and he was slightly numbed by the pain medication that was supposed to keep him from being distracted by the pain in his ribs.
"Get plenty of rest. Take care of your lungs. It is important to breathe deeply to prevent pneumonia. I am prescribing something for the pain. You may want to consider sleeping on your right side, the side with the damaged ribs, this allows you to breathe deeper on your uninjured side. It'll take a few weeks before you begin to feel right again." The doctor was scribbling a prescription onto his pad while he was talking. Bobby was thinking about the last thing the doctor said. He hoped he would feel right again in a few weeks, he hadn't felt right in months. "Do you have any questions?" The doctor placed the prescription on top of the discharge papers and the information sheets for caring for injured ribs. Bobby shook his head "no."
"I guess you should probably try to stand." Lucy said, as the doctor left the room. Bobby watched her walk over to his bed side, standing a bit closer to him. He was sitting on the bed, his legs dangling over the edge. He moved slowly to put his feet on the floor and did his best to stand. His head rushed full of blood, then emptied again from the combination of the flood of pain and the strange disconnected feeling the pain medication was having. Bobby reached out suddenly with both hands, placing them onto Lucy's shoulders, squeezing her hard to try and catch his balance. When his eyes met hers, he could see her wincing, but she took it in without complaint. She took in his pain and did not back away a single inch. He was mystified. He found himself just looking at her, an overwhelming urge to kiss her.
"Sorry." He mumbled, trying to relax his grip on her a bit. He stood more firmly on his own feet, slowly establishing some semblance of equilibrium.
"I hear you're ready." Eames walked into the room. Bobby could tell that Eames sensed she was interrupting something. Bobby took his hands off Lucy's shoulders, and he thought he saw Lucy stagger sideways a bit. He really had just put an enormous amount of pressure on her small frame.
"I guess." Bobby said.
"He's ready." Lucy said, her tone of voice very certain.
"I'm driving." Eames offered, jingling the keys in her hand.
"You always drive." Bobby managed to tease Eames a bit. He watched his partner smile. Lucy reached forward and grabbed the paperwork from the table, and grabbed the bag with Bobby's belongings.
"Well this is all wrong." Logan walked into the room, looking at Eames and Lucy standing with Bobby. Logan reached forward and grabbed the bag of Bobby's belongings from Lucy. "You guys were just going to walk off and leave me here in the hospital wondering where everyone went…" Logan joked.
"I'm driving." Eames said, looking at Logan, letting him know that she had talked with Lucy about getting Bobby home. Trying to let him know that he was off the hook, that he didn't have to stick around, that she had it under control.
"You always drive Eames." Logan shared the joke Bobby had made earlier. "I'll just get you guys all tucked in nice and neat into that giant SUV."
Bobby noticed Lucy smiling at Logan's humor. He liked it when she smiled, but he realized he didn't like that she was smiling at Logan. Bobby watched Lucy turn and move away from Logan to stand closer to him, kind of bracing herself watching if Bobby was going to manage a first step.
"So I'm carrying this small bag of stuff, and you plan on carrying him?" Logan quirked an eyebrow at Lucy, letting her know it did not go unnoticed that she half way expected Bobby to fall over.
"I'll carry myself." Bobby stated flatly, not particularly liking the thought of Logan helping him along. Bobby realized that Lucy was looking up at him waiting for him to prove it, so he gently, but successfully took a step or two toward the door. Lucy visibly relaxed.
An hour later Bobby was sitting incredibly uncomfortable on the couch at his place. Eames had dropped them off, saying she would come back in a few hours, joking with Lucy that she would take the second shift.
"You should take these." Lucy stood in front of him, prescription in one hand and glass of water in the other. He took the pills, and the water, and she returned to the kitchen. He could hear her moving around, but it physically hurt too much to even think about turning to see what she was doing. He shoved the prescription into his mouth and drank some of the water. He could hear her cell phone ringing.
"You can get that." He yelled, very grumpy from the pain. He leaned back on the couch, trying to straighten his ribs a bit without lying down. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on breathing, nice and easy. He found himself rather unintentionally listening to Lucy's side of her phone conversation.
"Yeah… he's Ok, he's home… yeah, pretty painful… thanks for understanding… yeah, I'll see you tomorrow… Ok… me too…" Then Lucy hung up the phone. It was the "me too" that got to Bobby, her tone of voice, so soft, he knew she was talking with Skoda, that she had changed plans, that the "me too" was probably an "I love you." Bobby kept his eyes closed thinking about what Logan had said. Logan was right, he couldn't go charging into her life just because he had come to a realization. His life was a wreck, if he went to her with his feelings, he would definitely wreck their friendship, and most probably wreck her life as well.
"Would you like to lie down?" Lucy was standing in front of him. She was holding a bunch of pillows against her chest. "On your right side?" She suggested, revealing she had been listening to the doctor as well. He opened his eyes and sat up a bit, feeling the pain meds begin to creep onto his senses.
"I don't…" He started to say, licking his lips a bit, he felt fuzzy. "I don't need…" He continued, shook his head as if to clear it. "I don't need you." He said, looking at her. He realized she looked confused for a moment, and then she looked as if he had slapped her. "I don't need you here…" He tried to get the sentence out, he wanted to tell her that he didn't need her here, that she could keep her plans, that he would be Ok, but his head was now spinning, and he couldn't seem to string the thought together. He was aware she was watching him, a bit of hurt still in her eyes. "I don't want to need you here." He said, and he knew that wasn't what he had intended to say. He watched her expression change from stricken to understanding. He hadn't wanted to say it, but it was the truth. He didn't want to need her. She placed the pillows on the couch and helped him lie down on his right side. He could feel her put a blanket over him, and he recognized it as one of the afghans from her house. "I don't want to need you in the morning light." He mumbled, as he closed his eyes. And, even though his words made little sense to Lucy, in that moment they made perfect sense to him.
A/N: hmmm… Bobby doesn't want to need… its hard right, to lay yourself open to need someone.
