Disclaimer: I wish I'd have enough money to buy the rights. Until then, Gilmore Girls is not mine.
A.N. First of all, I want to dedicate this chapter to Tom. Your review was... the best gift I've ever received in my entire life. It's because of people like you that we "authors" keep writing. Please, pretty please, continue to review. If our stories are your drug, your reviews are ours. It's a win-win situation:)
Thanks to Maddy. I miss you so much even when I'm talking to you. Can't wait to fly to Chicago in about 55 days!
Oh, and HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY TO US! ;)
Finally, for my muse forever and always (who'll never know she is so), Lauren Graham.
For all those Save the Whales organization members, for all our devoted reviewers and for you, anonymous reader...
Chapter 4
Three's a Crowd...
There are days when you wish your parents would have used a condom on your Procreation Day. There are days when you wish you were hit by a car that time you crossed the street without looking on both sides. There are days you wish you were such a bitch that no one would have thought of asking you to be an actress in their play. There are days when you wish you were a lesbian so that life would be easier with no men. And there are days when you are laying down in bed, looking at the ceiling, wishing all of the above.
Lorelai had been awake for the past 22 minutes. She had stared at her clock for the first 15, but when the numbers became fuzzy and started moving around, she settled for the ceiling. She still saw numbers flashing up there.
She spent all morning cleaning up the house. She was so nervous, her stomach had been burning since the middle of the night, when she had woken up after the first nightmare. In the dream, she was sitting on Luke's lap, kissing Doug... on a stage, and everyone in Stars Hollow was voting with numbered cardboards. She figured she was just overwhelmed. If today's events were spread over a few days, she would probably be more relaxed. So she decided that today was a whole week.
Day 1: 10:30 to 12:45 –Stop the cleaning, paint toe nails, get dressed.
Day 2: 12:45 to 1:15 –Coffee and muffins at Luke's. Get back at him for the kissing comment.
Day 3: 1:15 to 3:30 –Rehearsal at Miss Patty. Don't make a fool out of myself.
Day 4: 3:30 to 5:00 –Coffee, food, call Rory, watch T.V. and mock.
Day 5: 5:00 to 8:00 –Eat something, take a long bath, get dressed for the next day.
Day 6: 8:00 to? –Mike's Tavern. Die.
Day 7: Day of rest.
Yeah. That looked good. And way less stressful. On with Day 1! she told herself. Pink or purple?
Day 1 had been way too short. Proof is that she had an unpainted toe on her left foot. She entered the diner, shouted for coffee, sat down and took a blueberry muffin by herself. Luke didn't say anything about it.
"Thanks," she said as he served her magic potion.
"You know," he started, "maybe you shouldn't drink coffee before your rehearsal."
"Oh, okay," she replied, before taking a noisy sip.
"Gives bad breath. Not so good for kissing someone." He left the counter to take an order a few tables away. When he came back, Lorelai was ready with a comeback line.
"Doug likes coffee. And I never had any complaints, by the way," she said. Did she even want to kiss Doug? Well, it didn't matter anyway because it was their character's, right? She never doubted her kissing abilities, but now she was really self conscious about her breath. She hoped Luke wouldn't notice she wasn't drinking anymore. Otherwise, he'd thought he'd win.
Luke knew he should have said "hey" in the first place instead of bringing up the scene. Now, he had to think about how Lorelai was going to kiss his friend in a few hours. And he didn't know what to say next. So he started what would certainly be another argument.
"Anyway... It doesn't really matter if you're gonna back out of it like you did last night..."
Lorelai almost choked. Good think she wasn't drinking.
"I did not back out. I didn't think it was necessary. Why do you make a big deal out of it?"
She thought about adding something. But she pursed her lips together as tight as possible. She could not let this slip. It would be... inappropriate. But he wasn't saying anything, he was staring at her, and her self control wasn't that good. She always knew she had to work on it. But not today. And it came out. She said it.
"You know if you wanted to kiss me, you didn't need a pretext."
Oh shit. Oh shit. Ooooooh shit. Why did she say that? She had lost her mind. She was good for mental institution! She felt her heart pounding really hard in her chest. She even felt it in her throat. She dried her palms on her jeans, swearing to God. Please, God, if you could erase his memory right now. Please, I'm sure you have some tricks for this. When she realized her breathing came out faster than usual, she exhale really slowly and silently.
Why would she say that?
Why did I say thaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Was she saying he could have kissed her yesterday? That she wouldn't have minded? That she wanted him to... No. Luke had to be logical. The reason she said that couldn't be that simple. Nothing was simple with women. Especially with that particular one. She was kidding. She was testing him once again. She was implying he didn't want to kiss her. She was shutting him up. She was... They had to stop talking about this. So he cut it short.
"I didn't want to kiss you, I was only trying to help. You have a rehearsal today."
"Tomorrow," she rectified, absent-minded. He didn't want to. Oh, well... Okay. Makes things easier.
"Tomorrow? Isn't it this afternoon?" He was confused.
"Tomorrow."
"Why did you beg me to help you out then?"
"Oooh, I didn't beg you. You offered," she lied, smiling innocently.
"Whatever," he brushed off.
Lorelai got up and gathered her things.
"Well, gotta run."
"Where are you going?" he questioned her.
"To the rehearsal." She could see his confusedness growing on his face.
"Isn't it tomorrow?"
She checked time on the clock.
"Yup. Day 2, baby!"
And she was off.
Boy! She's hard to keep up with.
It's when Luke took the barely touched coffee cup to put it away that it hit him. Lorelai was going to kiss Doug. The reason why she would didn't matter. He didn't care if she wanted to or not. It was going to happen. Their lips were going to touch. Maybe longer than necessary, if he relied upon Doug. Luke didn't really know why it bugged him so much. She had kissed a lot of guys; some of whom he didn't even know about. Why was this one more disturbing? He didn't understand. He didn't want to understand. All he knew was this tiny, painful, annoying thorn stuck somewhere in his stomach. He had to do something. He stayed immobile for a few seconds with the cup in his hand. He hated this sensation of idiocy; the one you usually get when you're 6 years old. He was a grown man, for God's sake! He had no clue what he could do. The only thing that was possible for him to do was to go over there and watch them as they kissed. Get hurt some more. He was great at that. Masochist. He called up Cesar and walked towards Miss Patty's studio with some fresh baked doughnuts and some fresh faked confidence.
When he arrived at the opened sliding doors, Luke saw Miss Patty and Lorelai having an argument.
She couldn't believe her hears.
"But when you called me, you said we were going to do scene TWENTY-four!" Lorelai exclaimed.
Miss Patty was as calm as always. She replied, "No, daarrrling. I said scene NUMBER four. I remember."
"Well, I remember better!" Lorelai argued.
Doug put a soothing hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Let it go. She will never admit it."
Lorelai was pissed. Well, to be honest, she was acting pissed. She always had been a little drama-queen. She exaggerated the following sigh and rolled her eyes.
"Did you really rehearse scene 24?" Miss Patty asked both Lorelai and Doug. The expression on the director's face was blank. She didn't seem to believe this. That's the problem with people who know you too well. When you do something out of character, nobody believes you.
"Yes!" Lorelai almost shouted, exasperated. She did practice, damn it! But Doug said a loud "No" at the same time, which wasn't helping her credibility. Lorelai's head jerked towards Miss Patty. She said, "I did! I did practice. In my kitchen!"
Kirk had to jump in. "Oh yeah?" he tested her. "What's the third word of the fourth sentence of the second to last page?"
Everybody stayed quiet. They all bended their head to hide their laughing. Kirk took it as a great display of respect. Miss Patty asked Lorelai, "Did you enjoy practicing?"
Luke stopped breathing. He knew he was being stupid -yet again- but he wanted to hear her say she had a great time. As much as he did.
Lorelai could have sworn by the tone of Patty's voice that she was implying something... Something dirty of course. Uncomfortable, she took a second to look around. And as she let out her answer, she spotted Luke next to the door.
"Yes. I did... enjoy it." She knew Luke was trying to hide a smile. Or a smirk. She felt the urge to hit him on the arm really hard. But he was out of reach. And he had doughnuts.
"Well, that's all that matters," Miss Patty concluded. "Go grab your scripts, we're going to do scene NUMBER 4."
"I don't need the script, Miss Patty. I know my part!" Kirk proudly shouted.
As everyone else was getting their script, Lorelai walked up to Luke. She didn't say anything but put her hand in front of him, palm turned up. He put a sprinkled, chocolate one in it. Their eyes were locked the whole time. And Lorelai almost didn't flinch. She was getting pretty good at the staring game.
"So," Luke said, "What's this scene about?"
Lorelai jumped as she heard Doug responding to Luke. He was right behind her.
"Kyle and Sara learn they have to be partners at work. They hate each other."
Luke nodded. Laughing and doing a crazy dance inside of him. They hated each other? He was thrilled about this.
"Sounds good," he said. And for once, he was being honest about it.
Lorelai realized she was still looking at Luke. She concentrated on her doughnut and started to think. Tonight was going to be so strange. Even if there wasn't any palpable manly tension in the air between Luke and Doug, she still felt bad. She felt trapped. She hated this. She promised herself that after tonight, she would never feel like this again. She was going to sort all this out. If Luke was good about this, why couldn't she be?
And I thought I couldn't get any more nervous?
The thing when you are about to go out with two men is that you don't know which one you're nervous for. Not that it really matters at all. You're nervous and that's it. No need to dig into it. But as Lorelai struggled with her hair, she couldn't help but analyze the situation.
She couldn't remember the last time she felt like this before a date. Not that this was one. She kept telling herself that the shaky hands, the shaky breath and the shaky stomach couldn't be because of Luke. He'd been her friend for so long! They had drank beer before. They had talked. And then, the Doug-related-stress possibility was kind of out too. He was fun to be with. No pressure. Then why did she felt like throwing up?
Gahh! Giving up on her stubborn hair, she left the bathroom. She didn't remember the last time she looked at herself in the mirror so much either. Why did it matter what she looked like tonight? Then she realized something. Maybe the reason of her possibly-coming stroke was simple. She didn't know what to expect from tonight. Did Doug think this was a real date? Was he going to be all over her even if Luke was going to be there? How was she supposed to act towards him? She knew she would never do anything that would make Luke feel like he shouldn't be there. Heck, she wasn't able to bare the thought of Luke overhearing her talking about another guy. There was no way she was going to do anything. Not in front of him. Not at all. Even if Luke told her that it would be okay with him if she did do something with Doug, she wouldn't. It would be too weird. And Luke would never tell her he didn't care. She knew he cared. She wished he did. Oh my! Do I really wish that? Why do I want Luke not to want me with Doug! Great. Now she also had a headache.
She tried to shut her brain off, got into her Jeep and looked –yes, for the fifty third time tonight- at her reflection, this time in the rear-view mirror. At least she looked hot.
She pushed the door open and squeezed through a bunch of drunk, loud kids. She glanced around, trying to find one of the guys. Man! The place was really crowded.
"Lorelai! Over here!" she heard Doug yell on her left. Luke was already there too, sitting at a small, isolated table. He got up and pulled her a chair.
"Wow," she said, really impressed, "you guys found the perfect spot!"
She sat down –between the two of them, of course!- while they all small-talked for a few minutes. The waitress brought a huge pitched of beer.
"Are we supposed to drink all this?" Lorelai asked.
"Of course!" Doug answered. "And there's more to come!"
"It'd be easier for me if it was coffee..." she laughed, taking a sip.
Luke was completely out of it. He didn't know what to say. So he took a big gulp. He almost chocked with it when he saw that Lorelai was watching him.
"Whoa there!" she exclaimed. "I didn't know you were an alcoholic..."
Doug started laughing.
"That would be a shocker! He absolutely refused to drink anything but water back in High School."
Lorelai smiled at the thought and turned back to Luke.
"You, little saint!" She paused, taking in his new look. "Where's the flannel tonight, Mister?"
He had dressed up a notch. He was wearing his black leather coat, a pair of dark blue jeans and a white shirt. And since the baseball cap didn't really match the jacket, he had left it at home. She was impressed. Almost in shock. And before she could form the words "Luke is yummy" in her head, she drank some more.
"Back in High School, I had to get drunk to interact with the male kind..." she let out, without thinking of how inappropriate it was. Doug laughed –he was a happy person tonight- and Luke leaned forward so she would continue the reminiscence. "I mean... I don't remember making out or making... more without being at least really tipsy. Except that one time. And I ended up with Rory. Weird, huh?" she chuckled a little. Why was she telling them all this?
Luke resumed, "So you had to drink in order to... unfreeze yourself?"
Lorelai blushed. "You could put it that way, yes."
With a smirk on his face, Doug took the pitcher and refilled Lorelai's glass to the top. She burst into laughter. Now that was the kind of flirting she usually enjoyed! Subtle, but not so much.
Luke sat back, watching them. He hated himself right now. Why couldn't he ever be the funny one, the flirty one? He had to grant that to his friend: Doug had a way with women. So he wrecked his brain for something to say.
"So how was the scene this afternoon?" Come on, Danes! At least sound like you're remotely interested.
Doug answered.
"It's was really enjoyable. Lorelai's a natural. And she's pretty scary when she acts like she hates you."
Luke commented.
"Oh, that I know!"
Ouch! That hit from Lorelai on his shoulder was certainly going to leave a mark.
"I never hated you!" she rectified.
He added quickly, "Well, you've been angry with me quite a few times. And you're so stubborn, you won't talk to me for weeks! For months, even. And that witty thing you got, when you mix it up with anger? Impressive."
"Pff!" she waved off. "You're one to talk. It takes two to fight."
"Not with you, it doesn't."
Doug interrupted the banter.
"Okay... Let's move one before one of us gets physical."
"Dirty!" Lorelai raised an eyebrow.
Aw Jeez. Now Doug's the funny one and he gets the 'dirty' too? Luke thought, admitting to himself he was starting to get jealous.
"We could play games." Lorelai continued. "What about... uhm... the Yes-No drinking game?"
"Huh?" Luke's game culture wasn't that wide.
"It's the game where you talk, you have a normal conversation, but you can't say "yes" or "no". And if you do, well, you have to empty your glass in one gulp!" She looked at Doug and added, "Of course, Luke won't participate much since he doesn't talk."
"That's not true..." Luke protested, gruffly.
"Huh... it is!"
"No, it's not!"
Doug and Lorelai laughed. Lorelai pointed a finger at his glass.
"Drink up, Dude!"
That was going to be fun! And the stomach ache was gone, and the shaking was starting to cool down a bit. Add a little too much beer and you've got yourself a blast!
Three hours later, they weren't aware anymore if they were still playing or not. Sure thing, it had been a while since Luke had laughed that much. Lorelai was getting this bizarre chill throughout her body every time Luke laughed out loud. They were now at the point in the evening where they had to blast the ex-es. Their's and the others'.
"I never understood the whole Rachel thing." Lorelai confided to them, but directly to Luke. "I mean... What's the deal with the leaving and the coming back and the leaving again..."
"I could say the same thing about Christopher," Luke stated.
"Well, no." She emptied her glass. She didn't know if it was because of the drinking game. "You can't. It's not the same thing at all. Chris is Rory's father. He's meant to come and go."
"So dirty!" Doug laughed.
Lorelai giggled. She was funny. Or was it Doug? Whoa. Luke was hot.
"Plus," she tried to remember what she wanted to say, "Rachel wasn't even that pretty!"
Lorelai sat back, proud of that statement she had just made. Luke turned to Doug and they exchanged a long, dumbfounded look. They said at the same time, "Yes, she was."
Oh. Yeah, she had forgotten. Elle MacPhearson, huh?
"Right," Lorelai said, "you knew Rachel." She leaned towards Doug and raised an eyebrow. "Did you know, know Rachel?" She didn't let him time to even blink before she added, "Oh yeah. I bet you all knew Rachel. Isn't there something they say about red haired women?"
"Lorelai!" Luke exclaimed, surprised and amused by her drunken interest in Rachel.
"Sorry," she excused herself. "I know it's painful for you," she told Luke.
"It's not.." he tried to say.
She cut him off, asking Doug, "What about Nicole?"
"His ex-wife?"
"Eww, don't say that," she shuddered. "Did you know Nicole? I mean, I know you didn't know, know Nicole. Well, maybe you did. What kind of socks are you wearing?"
"Lorelai..."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Luke! I know this one's painful too. Whoa. You had a lot of painful woman. I mean, painful relationships. Well, now that I think about it, they were painful women." She turned to Doug again. "So, have you ever met Nicole?"
She had said 'Nicole' like she wanted to throw up.
"No..." Doug answered.
"Wow, you lucky one! She was a total bi... total witch."
Luke jumped in.
"Oh, she was not."
"Luke! The woman cheated on you. And even though I'm sure she coloured her hair darker so she could look like me, she despised me. The least she deserves is to be called a witch out loud."
"All right," he gave in.
"Say it. Out loud, please."
Doug slid his chair closer to Lorelai. Luke noticed it. Lorelai didn't.
"Say it out loud, Luke," Lorelai repeated.
"I can't say that! I was married to the woman."
"So? You'll see, you'll feel better."
"I feel fine. I don't need to talk her down."
"Oh, you're so sweet! You can't talk her down... You kicked a car because of her, though."
Doug's head jerked towards Luke.
"You beat up a car!" he exclaimed. Luke hid his face into his hands.
"Oh yes he did! He ended up in jail, I bailed him out and he kicked it again!"
Doug couldn't believe it.
"Ok, ok. Stop that! I'll say it: Nicole's a witch."
"You could have said 'bitch' though. Don't you feel better?" Lorelai put her hand on his right arm. She left it there a while.
"You're drunk," Luke declared.
Lorelai ignored the comment. She emptied the third pitcher into her glass.
"Did you ever call her Nicky?" Lorelai asked.
"I don't like nicknames."
"Oh, so I should call you Lucas?" Lorelai argued. Luke stayed quiet so she continued. "You never ever, ever called her Nicky? Not even in bed?"
"Aw, come one, Lorelai!"
"What!" she laughed. "It has a nice 'squeaky' sound to it. It sounds like something you can scream in bed. 'Nicooooole' sounds guttural... Are you a squeaky or a guttural kind of screamer?"
Even if it was a fun conversation, Lorelai really did want to know. How weird was that?
Luke couldn't help but laugh, Doug was about to pee in his pants. That woman was hilarious! The amount of things she could say to make Luke feel uncomfortable was infinite.
"Enough with me. What about you, Lorelai."
"My scream?" she asked, serious. "It's something like..." Oh boy! She prayed for them to interrupt her. She couldn't talk about that!
"No, what about your relationships?"
"Well... except for Christopher, they were fine. I'm the one who ruined them."
Wow. That was kind of pathetic to say. And kind of true, no? Feeling the awkwardness settling in, Doug got up. "Anyone wants more beer? Luke? Lore?"
Luke grimaced at the sound of that last word.
"Doug, don't call her that," he said.
Lorelai turned to Luke, a little astonished. "Why? I don't... really mind."
"I just think it's a horrible nickname. No one should be aloud to call you that."
Doug went to get more beer. Lorelai leaned forward to Luke. "Thanks. I kind of hate it too," she smiled.
When Doug came back, he brought the chair even closer to Lorelai. Why doesn't he sit on her while he's at it? Luke stiffened.
This time, Lorelai noticed it. Not because of Doug's move, but because of Luke's face. And when Doug subtly put his hand on her knee, she really enjoyed it. Not because of Doug's move, but because of Luke's face. It was hard to explain the features on his face. He gulped and shifted in his seat. And his eyes were nailed to Doug's hand. Maybe she was really drunk, imagining things. Or maybe she was sick in the head. Who enjoys being touched because of someone else's look? She felt the urge to make out with Doug right there, just to make Luke react. And that was wrong. So she smiled at Luke to make him feel better; to reassure him she wasn't going to do anything.
Why was she looking at him this way! Was she trying to kill him? Was she trying to say, Look, your best friend's touching me and I really like it. See how happy I am? Then he tried to calm himself down. It was only a touch. Nothing else. She had touched his arm earlier and it didn't mean anything. Why would this one be different?
Luke finished his drink and got up.
"Well, tonight was fun," he started.
Doug agreed, still sitting on his chair. Lorelai wondered if she had to stand up too.
"Maybe we could make this a weekly thing?" She proposed. What? Lorelai, are you saying you want to put yourself through this stressful emotional roller-coaster every week? Hell, yeah!
The guys approved immediately. Lorelai felt giddy. Like if she was in kindergarten and had just make new friends. Luke cut her fun.
"I should get going. I've got a diner to open tomorrow. Well, today actually."
Lorelai didn't know what to do. Luke was leaving, Doug wasn't showing any intentions of following.
"Uhm... maybe I should call it a night also, then..." She motioned to take her purse but Doug stopped her.
"Or you could stay with me. We could talk about the play."
Yeah right. Like they're gonna talk about the play. Jeez...
Yeah, maybe we should talk about the play. We haven't rehearsed that much.
Definitely stuck in the middle, Lorelai looked at Luke. He really seemed like he was waiting for her. And Doug... well, he really had no intention of getting up.
"Okay. Save me some coffee for later, Luke," she said. She felt so bad. If she felt that way, maybe she shouldn't be staying then... But Luke didn't burst into tears, he didn't sigh loudly, he didn't seem affected. And Lorelai was way too drunk to analyze him any further. So she let him go with a goodbye.
The minute Luke left, Doug started talking and making Lorelai laugh, and she forgot they were supposed to be taking about the play. An hour or so later, they were walking to her house. She had let her car at the tavern since she was way too wasted to drive straight.
"Oh my God!" she laughed out loud. "That reminds me of that time Luke and I broke the bells! Were you still in Stars Hollow when he broke them the first time?"
"I helped him out! I was the one looking out to make sure Reverent Skinner wouldn't catch us." he said.
"You're kidding! Reverent Skinner was Reverent Skinner back then too?"
"I'm not that old!" Doug protested, half smiling.
"No, I know you're not that old. You don't even have one grey hair!"
"Uhm... Actually I do. I have three."
"Oh, yeah? Where?" she teased.
"Why does everything sounds dirty with you?" he asked.
Lorelai slowly shrug her shoulders, smiling tentatively. Why did she always have to flirt like this? It was like a disease. She felt really powerful right this instant when she noticed that Doug was breathing louder. And when he took her hand and intertwined their fingers, she didn't protest. But she did think that if Luke was there, she would enjoy it much more.
Unlike last time, Doug climbed the stairs of the porch and walked her to her front door.
"I really had a great time tonight," he said. It sounded like a whisper, low and husky.
"I did too. Maybe we shouldn't drink that much every week though. I might kill myself tomorrow morning..." she joked.
Doug leaned forward and took her chin between his fingers. Uh oh.
"Maybe I shouldn't leave you alone, then..." he tried.
She admitted to herself that it would be nice if she let him stay the night. She missed having someone to cuddle with. She hadn't been with a man since... uhm... she was too drunk to remember. But she also admitted to herself that she couldn't do this to Luke. Not before he gave her his blessing. Which he would never do. Partly because she would never ask, partly because she was convinced he wouldn't want her with his best friend. It would be like cheating on him.
"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself," she refused.
It only made him lean closer. He so knew what he was doing... Good thing Lorelai was a strong woman. But he almost succeeded when he said, "I know you're a big girl... But I'd love to care of you too."
"I can't," Lorelai sighed.
"Because we're in the play together?"
"No..." That would have been easy to say, such a good lame excuse... I should have said yes. "Because of Luke."
Why am I telling him this?
"Luke? What does he have to do with this? Do you have a thing for him?"
"No!" she nearly screamed. "I don't. I just...think it would be weird since you're his best friend. I don't think he would like that..."
"Luke doesn't have feelings for you," he cleared up.
OUCH. For nearly 10 years, people had told her Luke had a thing for her. She always told them they were crazy, but part of her always believed it was true. And there was a guy, who knew Luke very well, telling her it wasn't true? She felt like... crying. Because she was drunk, yes, but also because the one stable thing in her life: the possibility of her and Luke always being there if she decided she wanted it, was disappearing.
"Whoa... I... I know... I... he doesn't..." she stammered.
"He told me."
Oh yeah? Do you have proof? Did you record the conversation?
"He... told you? You talked about this?" she asked.
"Well, not really. It came onto the subject and he told me he felt like a big brother to you."
A big brother?
"So he doesn't mind. Is that what you're saying?"
Doug shrug his shoulders.
Lorelai felt like the ground had opened up under her. She had been falling for about 45 seconds now. She was afraid to hit the ground. Why did she even feel like this? Because, selfishly, she wanted to keep the Luke-opportunity in her pocket, for a last resort? In case nothing else would work out, she'd settle for Luke? That was horrible.
"A big brother huh?" she whispered. Doug probably didn't hear. She looked at him in the eye. "Would you like to come in?"
That one's your fault, big brother.
Lorelai had been laying awake for thirty minutes now. Curled up on the right side of the bed. She didn't know how she was feeling.
Doug had left a few minutes ago. There had been no weirdness in the morning. In fact, there hadn't been any at all since the moment she had let him in. It hadn't been magical either. It had been nice, just... expected. They had walked straight into her bedroom, he had turned off the light. They had taken off their own clothes and met in the bed. There hadn't been any shyness, any excitement of the first time, nothing. It had been mechanical. They had laughed, enjoyed it and fell asleep. And when he woke up in the morning, he spent a few minutes looking for his underwear. They had laughed about it, he had gotten dressed while she had stayed in bed. They had said 'Goodbye, have a nice day, see you later.' And he had left. It had been like... normal. Having sex for the first time with someone shouldn't feel normal. It should feel exciting and emotional and passionate and it should be weird in the morning. She should be panicking right now about whether or not he was going to call her back. She should have flashbacks of the night they just had spent, she should lay down on his side of the bed, smelling his pillow. But nothing. She wasn't expecting anything, she didn't want anything more. The only good thing was that she knew he didn't want anything either. It was a one time thing. A nice one night stand. The only weird thing was that she knew she wouldn't be nervous to see him again. That's the deal when you go "casual". But she knew... Oh, yes, she knew, she would be nervous to see Luke.
There he was, behind the counter. Her big brother. She walked up to him.
"So, did you keep me some coffee like I asked you to?"
He didn't answer, but he smiled and put a green cup in front of her.
"Thanks," she said.
"So, how did it go last night when I left?"
Lorelai took a deep breath. This was going to be hard to say. Even if he was her brother now. He talked before she did.
"Did you talk about the play?"
She changed her mind.
"Uhm... yes. And we talked about how he was with you when you broke the bells the first time!"
She expected Luke to laugh but he didn't. It hadn't been 24 hours yet but she already missed his laugh.
"Lorelai, can I be honest with you?"
Ah! There! He's gonna tell me he's my long-lost brother!
"Of course you can."
"You won't get mad or anything?"
"You mean, I won't hate you?" she corrected him, remembering their funny argument of the previous night.
"So?"
"I won't get mad. Come on! You're scaring me," she said, folding her arms on her chest.
Luke looked at her. His eyes locked with hers and her throat went dry. They cleared their throat at the same time. Luke talked.
"Aw man, you're gonna be mad. Never mind."
This was getting old.
"I won't get mad, Luke! Just tell me."
"I was wondering if you could possibly not sleep with Doug."
She dropped the green cup, spilled the liquid everywhere, brought her hand to her mouth to dry the coffee she had spit out.
Oh my God. What!
"Oh my God. What!" she said. For once, her brain was agreeing with her mouth.
While he cleaned up the mess he had caused, he repeated.
"You shouldn't sleep with Doug."
She didn't know if she had to be scared or feel guilty or...
"Why, does he have a STD or something?"
"No, no. Not that I know of," he said. "It's just that... he would tell me all the dirty details and I'm not sure I wanna hear them. I mean, I'm sure I don't want to hear them."
Lorelai focused on her hands. She prayed that Luke would stay oblivious about the way she was feeling right now.
"You mean, "she said, "as a big brother, you wouldn't want to hear the dirty details?"
"What?"
And since he sounded really confused, Lorelai decided not to push to far.
"He won't... I mean, he wouldn't tell you the details. He doesn't seem like that kind of guy."
"Well, he's always been the kiss-and-tell kind. So, I'm just... I know I have no rights to decide whom you can sleep with, but..."
"Damn right you can't!"
Especially when it's too late.
"You said you wouldn't get mad," Luke reminded her.
"I'm not mad. I..." She thought for a second. Should she tell him or not? She felt bad keeping it from him... but since she was convinced that 1) it would not happen again anytime soon and 2) Luke didn't care and wouldn't want to know and that 3) Doug would never say anything, she lied.
"Okay. I won't."
Lorelai felt like a knife had been stabbed in her lungs. It was either coming from the one-too-many beer of the night before, either from that really relieved grin Luke gave her.
Luke had never felt any better.
A.N. I'm sorry! Please don't hate me! Have faith in me. I swear it's going to be awesome! Please tell me you won't stop reading this story by reviewing a little word... please?
Next chapter's title? ...One's a Big Mouth
