This is a joint venture of Kaana Moonshadow and myself. We had lots of fun writing it and hope you have as much fun reading.
We don't own Bishop, but we sure as hell wish we did.
Be warned: This chapter is where it gets really dark. It's not rape exactly, but definitely noncon. If you feel uncomfortable with that, please don't read.
„Bishop!"
The whispered voice pierced the fog that surrounded his brain. He looked up, into the direction of the speaker, and the small movement made his vision swim. He lifted to bottle to his mouth to take another swig, but found it empty.
"Bishop... come here", the whispering came again. "Come to me..."
He shook his head to clear it, and nearly toppled over. He barely caught himself with one hand to the wall, letting go of the bottle which rolled away on the floor, and cursed.
He needed more booze... to forget... forget... yes, forget what...? He tried to remember until he realised how stupid that was, if he wanted to forget about it. No more trying to remember. But his heart felt heavy, even if he did not remember why...
He needed more booze.
Hadn't there been a second bottle?
He started fumbling around, his vision blurred, when the voice came a third time. "Come to me, Bishop... it's me, it's Riana..."
His head snapped up, and again everything around him seemed to swim.
"Riana...?", he croaked, his heart constricting painfully.
Riana... Riana? Riana wasn't here, she was... there had been someone else, someone...
"Yes, it's me... come to me, Bishop, come here...", the voice reached his ear again, and he forgot what he tried to remember, forgot everything but the sudden burning in his heart. He did not want to think, just wanted to believe, believe she was here...
"Riana", he whispered. She was calling him... he had to go to her...
He stumbled to his feet, fighting for balance as the floor seemed to buck beneath his feet. Slowly, carefully, he made his way across the unsteady ground, stumbling once or twice and barely catching himself against the wall.
Then his clouded vision made out a person sitting against the wall. Long, silvery hair, large violet eyes, blue dress... he blinked to clear the image, but it remained blurred before his eyes. Again, something tugged at his memory, but then she held up a hand to him, and he did not care anymore.
"It's me, come here, Bishop...", she said, softly.
"Riana", he choked out, and it was like a sob. He dropped to his knees in front of her, trying to catch her hand, but missing it somehow.
"Dead", he croaked. "Thought you were dead. Went to look for you, went back, but everything coll... collapsed, no way in, no way out, thought you died..."
He felt her hand, touching his cheek. "Shhhhh", she whispered. "It's alright, I'm here now, I'm with you."
"So sorry", he choked, feeling a sting in his eyes, leaning into her touch. How he had missed her... "Sorry... had to do it, couldn't help it. Hurt so much, couldn't bear it anymore..."
Her hand stroked his hair. "It's alright, it's all over now. I'm here with you."
His arms closed around her, drawing her near, burying his face in her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. He could feel himself start to shiver uncontrollably. Felt so good go have her near...
"Couldn't bear it", he whispered. "You and him... seeing you with him... hurt so much. Drove me crazy." He swallowed, feeling the old pain squeeze his heart. "Had to leave, wanted to hurt you, too... so sorry..." His lips grazed her skin while he talked, and he could feel a tremor of a different sort running down his spine.
Her hand continued to stroke his hair. "I forgive you", she whispered.
He sobbed once. "Please... don't go away. Don't leave me again... love you. Need you. Love you so much, Riana... don't go..."
His lips wandered up her neck, over her cheek, searching for her mouth, finding it soft and open. He moaned as he kissed her, his hands gliding through her hair again and again.
"Always wanted to do that... always wanted to touch it... so beautiful, so soft, like silk... want you so much..."
He let himself sink on the floor, pulling her with him, one hand going to her neck, stroking it, the other one gliding to her back, pressing her body harder against. He shivered again as fire seemed to spread through him.
"Want you", he repeated hoarsely, not taking his mouth from hers. The hand on her back wandered lower, starting to pull her skirt up until he could touch the smooth skin of her thigh.
He felt her stiffen under his touch, but his hand slid further up, until it cupped her behind, pulling her against him so she could feel how much he wanted her.
Her hands pressed against his chest, fighting against him suddenly, but he gripped her neck and held her in place. He let his mouth glide to her ear, softly sucking on her lobe, nibbling with his teeth, and felt her shiver, too.
"Need you", he whispered into her ear, hoarsely. "Don't say no... don't push me away. Please... can't stop now, been waiting for so long, can't stop anymore... burning inside, burning for you..."
His mouth drew a trail down her throat, nibbling and softly sucking, while his hand went from her backside to her breast, cupping it through the cloth. Too much cloth... he started fumbling with the laces of her corsage but only managed to tangle them up under his fingers.
Damned cloth... he wanted to touch her soft skin... needed to feel it against his. He lifted himself up a bit and stared down at her, his head still swimming and his vision blurred, but the need burned strong in his blood. She stared up at him with huge eyes, her face flushed, her silvery hair spread around her like moonlight. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
He needed to feel her. Now.
Gripping the cloth of her corsage with both hands, he jerked with all his strength and heard a ripping noise as the little hooks and buttons holding it together gave.
She yelped, but he had only eyes for her skin, peeking through the transparent undershirt she wore. The thin fabric ripped easily under his hand and he swallowed, staring down at her white, creamy skin and her breasts, heaving with her quick, shallow breath.
"So beautiful", he whispered. "Have to feel you..."
He tentatively reached out to touch her breast, stroking it softly, hearing her whimper, and closed his eyes while the sensation made him shudder.
He simply could not hold back any longer.
He ripped his own shirt over his head, letting it fall to the ground, and made short process with the lacing of his breeches as well, impatiently shoving them down his legs, the movement making his head swim once more.
He heard another gasp from her, a panicked sound, and she started to pull away, her sudden movement accompanied by a strange rattling sound.
"No!", he said, letting himself drop on top of her. "No, don't... please, Riana... please..."
He pressed his mouth to hers again, kissing her with all the desperation and the need of years of longing. He felt her shudder under him and started to shove the dress down her shoulders. She tried to fight him again, but he was beyond caring, just ignoring her feeble attempts at pushing him away, until she stopped struggling and stilled under him.
Finally, the remnants of the dress came down, and he kicked at them with his feet to get rid of it, pulling her naked body against his.
The burning in him got so intense he thought he might just explode. He flipped her on her back, his mouth still on hers, swallowing her gasp, pushed between her legs and entered her with one steady thrust.
The sensation was nearly too much, the touch of her lips, her skin against his, her warmth enveloping him... moaning hoarsely, he stilled, fighting the urge to just let go...
Her hands gripped his shoulders, to push or to pull, he could not tell, and her breath was coming in short, heaving gasps.
He drew back and tried to be slow, and gentle... but it was of no use. He needed her just too much, and his control snapped, had never had much control anyway, and his movements quickened, his hands running over every inch of skin he could reach, his mouth still glued to hers, kissing her frantically.
"Can't last...", he gasped into her mouth. "Sorry, too much... want you too much... feels so good..." He could feel it building up in him, that energy, building up and up, until his movements became erratic, and he threw back his head and screamed, shuddering with orgasm.
Boneless, spent, he sank down next to her, drawing her into his arms, kissing her softly, tenderly. "Love you so much", he whispered. "So much, Riana. Never let you go again, never."
He felt her flinch, but then her arm went around him, stroking his chest while she snuggled up to his shoulder, and he felt happier than he could remember having ever felt before.
Somewhere in the back of his still fogged brain, something seemed to want to get his attention, but at the moment he could not care. Exhausted, contented and happy, he could feel sleep tugging at him, and with a small smile on his face, he gave in.
"Love you", he murmured once more, closing his eyes. He was asleep in seconds.
xxx
Liliana lay awake in the half-dark, the shadowy room only sparsely lit by some rays of moonlight that fell through the grimy window of the hut, and listened to the steady sound of Bishop's breathing, her heart beating like a frightened bird in her chest.
The fire had gone out a while ago, leaving her shivering in the cool night air even despite the warmth of his body, but she had not dared to move a muscle, afraid that already the smallest of movements would be enough to wake him.
She gulped, and felt the beat of her heart accelerate painfully at that trail of thoughts. She never wanted to see what he would do when he finally woke up in the morning, realising what she had done. Her stomach churned painfully at that thought, and she closed her eyes as another whirlwind of emotions drifted through her, embarrassment and shame prominently among them, forming an icy knot in her belly as the images came rushing back to her mind.
To say that things had not developed the way she had expected was a cruel understatement.
At first, she had been so relieved when she had watched him staggering towards her and then falling clumsily to his knees, his unnaturally bright eyes not quite able to focus on her, but from what he had babbled, it had been quite clear that he had swallowed her bait, and had really believed that his love was sitting before him, reaching for him with a treacherously trembling hand.
She had listened intently to his incoherent words, trying to get a feel for the woman she was impersonating so that she would make no grave mistakes, that she could uphold the illusion somehow, but the more he had talked to her, the more confused she had become.
It seemed as if Bishop and Riana had not parted in good graces. She frowned as she remembered his stammered apologies and explanations, her heart feeling strangely heavy again as she had watched the pained expression on his face and had heard the desperate undercurrent in his voice, trying to explain whatever he had done.
Couldn't bear it. You and him... seeing you with him... hurt so much. Drove me crazy.
Had Riana actually betrayed him? It was strange to think of her this way, being the heroine of Neverwinter and all, but his words had hinted clearly that Riana had had an affair with another man, maybe even one of their companions, and that Bishop had found out and then left her before she had set out for her fight against the King of Shadows, the fight from which she had never returned.
Liliana had listened to his words, and had felt a pang of pity in her heart as she had imagined Bishop finally getting the news of Riana's disappearance, how he must have returned to the Mere of Dead Man to search for her, desperately wandering the ruins, but finding no trace of his love or any of their companions…
So she had murmured soothingly into his ear, softly stroking his hair, trying to calm him down a bit, telling him that everything would be alright again… Bishop had sobbed when he had held her close, obviously relieved that he had been able to say these words that seemed to have burdened his mind for a long time, and Liliana had felt the first sting of guilt pierce her heart as she had felt his arms closing painfully around her, holding on to her as if she was his lifeline.
She had never seen him so unguarded, so vulnerable. To think that he was pouring out his heart to her, while she was playing him in just the same way that he had played her… her conscience had squirmed uncomfortably at that thought, but she had instantly tried to fight it down, reminding herself forcefully that he was the villain in this particular play here, that she had no other choice, that he was willing to murder her…
But it had been hard to condemn him as she had felt him trembling in her arms like a small boy, to hear all that pain in his voice…
So she had comforted him, had even allowed him to kiss her although his breath had reeked of that berry liquor, trying to ignore the sudden ache in her heart as he had confessed his undying love to Riana, telling herself that he would fall asleep any time soon, that she could at least give him this short moment of peace to ease her conscience…
When he had lowered himself onto the wooden planks, gently pulling her with him, his lips still on her mouth, she had thought that she had finally reached her goal, had even experienced a short moment of panicked excitement that her plan seemed to work so well after all.
But then…
No!
Liliana closed her eyes so tightly that it hurt, her whole body tensing as she forcefully shoved the memories back into the darkest regions of her soul.
She would not think about it. Never again!
Carefully, she lifted her head and watched the sleeping man by her side, one arm circling her waist, the other still lying loosely around her shoulder, and studied his face for some endless moments, relaxed with sleep, his chest rising almost imperceptibly with his deep, regular breath.
It was time now to try and go on with her plan.
A sudden wave of fear rose in her stomach, cold and terrifying, and she gulped audibly, her body trembling not only from the cool nightair. He was as asleep as he would ever get. She had gotten her wish. He was sleeping by her side now, the key to her freedom still dangling around his neck, reflecting the moonlight, and all she had to do was to reach out for it to get away from him.
So why was her heart beating like it would jump out of her chest any moment due to sheer fright?
… The feeling of his calloused hand on her thigh, lifting her skirt to wander over her skin and pulling her against him…
…quickly followed by a moment of pure terror as she feels the hard bulge through his trews, and so she looks down in alarm, into his eyes, only to see the familiar fire burning in them, searing her skin…
…her hands pressing forcefully against his chest now, trying to break his hold on her, but he holds her neck in an iron grip, the hand around her behind tightening painfully for a moment as he lifts his head to whisper hoarsely into her ear.
"Please... can't stop now, been waiting for so long, can't stop anymore... burning inside, burning for you..."
Another shiver ran down her spine as the images came rushing back to her mind, and Liliana closed her eyes again, fighting hard to repress a sob. Fear and shame were now mingling strongly in her chest, making her feel like they were eating her alive, guilt choking her with its icy claws. Why had she not seen this coming? How could things have gotten so out of hand?
Don't let it get to you, Liliana, whispered that voice in her head, surprisingly soothing this time. Stay calm, focus. Don't let it all have been in vain!
She swallowed and blinked forcefully, determinately reaching for every ounce of courage that she could muster. She would see this through. She would not succumb to her fear and despair. She would get away from here, get back to her family, and then she could forget that all this had ever happened.
But first, she had to get the key.
Carefully, and ever so slowly, she turned in his embrace and reached for the arm around her shoulder with noticeably trembling hands, gently laying it down on the floor beside her, her wide-eyed gaze never leaving Bishop's face, watching him intently for the slightest reaction. But he just lay there, still fast asleep, his chest rising and falling ever so slowly, and relieved, Liliana let out a long, hissing breath, her pulse pounding so loudly in her ears now that a part of her truly wondered whether she was only imagining things, or if one could actually hear her heart beat, echoing through the small hut like a drum.
Gingerly, she reached for his other arm, carefully trying to disentangle herself from his grasp, but this time, Bishop stirred under her touch, a soft sigh escaping his lips, and his grip tightened unconsciously around her waist, pulling her closer against him.
"Have to feel you…"
Freezing in mid motion, now almost petrified with fear, Liliana could feel her breath catch painfully in her throat at his sudden movement, and alarmed, she stared down into his face, her eyes wide, fully expecting his own to open any time now, settling on her, and when he finally realised what she had done…
She swallowed hard as she imagined how the confusion in his eyes would slowly give way to murderous rage, and shuddered at the image of his fist closing painfully in her hair to pull her towards him, to hiss into her ear with his cruel, unfeeling voice…
But Bishop's eyes stayed firmly closed, his breathing as deep and regular as before, and after a long while in which her body had already started to ache painfully from the sudden strain, Liliana allowed herself to relax a little, her body now shivering so violently that she could not believe that he was still sleeping beside her, blissfully unaware to her motion.
Thank the gods for all that berry liquor!
She closed her eyes, and after another quick prayer, she reached for his arm again, but kept her moves slow, so painfully slow, lifting his hand from her hip inch after inch, and felt another shiver run down her spine as his fingers grazed the skin of her thigh in the process.
… the feel of his hands, wandering longingly over her body, their skin only separated by that thin layer of cloth that she is wearing…
… the short moment of hope and relief as she feels him fight with the laces of her garment, convinced that he would never be able to open her bodice in his current state of mind without help…
… she even opens her mouth to talk to him, to talk him into waiting just a little while longer, maybe even to try and lure him to sleep through another song…
… but then that strange expression flickers across his face, a desperation so intense that it seems to border on insanity, and with a snarl, his hands close around the hem of her corsage, the muscles in his arms tensing impressively, and with a soft, ripping noise, the cloth gives under the sudden strain…
…and she lays there, her eyes wide, the shock driving every coherent thought from her mind while his hand gently reaches down to caress her breast, now fully exposed to his gaze and the cool night air…
"…so beautiful…"
Finally, she lowered his arm onto his thigh and carefully sat up, her heart drumming painfully fast in her chest, and held her breath, still waiting in fearful anticipation for him to open his eyes, to see right through her charade…
But Bishop just lay there, unmoving, the key glittering challengingly in a single ray of moonlight that wandered lazily over his body, the chain of his amulet barely more than a dark shadow, nestling closely against his neck and chest.
It's now or never.
For another long moment, Liliana hesitated, casting nervous glances at her still trembling hands. But as the moonlight slowly wandered through the hut, she finally had to admit to herself that the shivering would not abate, not while she was out here in the cold, and most certainly not while her fear seemed to roam the hut like a living thing, lurking in the shadows and breathing down onto her neck.
That image made her shudder once more, and so she moved, carefully reaching for the fastening of the chain, the small silvery lock barely visible in the dim half-light that filled the room. Liliana frowned and bent her head until she almost touched Bishop's chest, casting him nervous glances out of the corner of her eye while her fingers worked clumsily on the chain, his scent rising prominently into her nose, rich and heady, stirring all these unwanted memories that she had fought so hard to bury almost instantaneously.
… she watches how he rips off his tunic and then starts pulling at his breeches impatiently, still not fully understanding what is actually happening to her…
… until the last piece of his clothes finally falls to the ground, and he looks up at her, naked, aroused, that fire still burning in his eyes… the predator, stalking his prey…
… how she tries to scramble away from him in a sudden outbreak of panic, her chain giving a loud, rattling sound at her forceful movement… but he follows her, that fire still searing her, pleading with her, kissing her frantically…
… and then, when he calls to her, using that other woman's name, she remembers. Remembers who she claims to be. That he and Riana were lovers. And what he would do to her, should he look past the charade and then realise that she is trying to trick him.
So she gives up her resistance and firmly closes her eyes, trying to shut it all out, hoping that he will just take her, that it will be over soon… and yet, she can't help to notice the warmth of his skin as he pulls her towards him, the almost feverish heat that is emanating from his body, his scent surrounding her like a curtain…
After what seems to be an eternity of touches, moans and screams, she feels him shudder above her, and he sinks down by her side, breathing heavily, pulling her into his arms to kiss her, so softly, so lovingly…
…reluctantly, she opens her eyes… and her heart constricts painfully as she sees the genuine smile on his face, making him seem so much younger, his eyes closed, looking so unbelievably happy…
"Love you so much… so much, Riana."
There was a soft, clicking noise, and Liliana blinked, surprise welling through her as she stared at the open lock in her slightly trembling hands, seeing that one half of the chain had already slipped from her grasp and now lay on Bishop's chest in a small heap of silver, half-hidden in the reddish-brown curls.
That sight made a surprisingly strong whirlwind of anger rise in her chest, the hot, swirling rage battling her fear and confusion. What in the nine hells had she been doing here? She had promised herself never to think of it again. So how could she let herself get distracted again, and at such a crucial moment, no less?
Sheep. Stupid, useless, miserable sheep!
Just to imagine the chain slipping from her grasp completely, making the amulet glide over his chest and then down his neck, landing on the wooden floor with a high, metallic sound, right next to his ear… she shuddered at the image, and sent a quick prayer of thanks to the gods for still looking out for her, no matter what a sheep she had been.
With trembling hands, Liliana slowly reached out for the two pieces of jewelry and lifted them into her palm, all the time watching Bishop's face with wide, frightened eyes, her pulse pounding deafeningly in her ears once more.
But he still did not move, and after a while, she carefully began to pull the small silver chain through the loops which bound the key, trying to ignore the unsteady way in which the silver links wandered over his skin and through the tiny curls on his chest because her fingers were shaking so badly. After what truly seemed to be an eternity of anxiety and fear, the last bits of the chain finally came free, and Liliana stared unbelieving at the two objects that now nestled neatly in her palm.
I did it!
A pure wave of panicked joy welled through her, the sudden relief actually making her feel giddy, miraculously taking away the shame and guilt, and she had to fight hard to keep herself from simply bursting into hysterical giggles.
I really did it!
She gently put the chain and the amulet down on the wooden planks beside her and then carefully moved away from Bishop's sleeping form, the key to her own chains still firmly in hand, forcing herself to make slow, deliberate movements, so that she would not spoil her incredible success in a sudden outburst of rash haste.
The iron felt cool under her fingers as she reached for the ring around her ankle with still slightly trembling hands, its lock opening with a soft, clicking sound. Slowly, she removed the metal from her leg, and felt strangely grateful for the layers of cloth that Bishop had wound around it, because the ring barely made a sound as she lowered it onto the ground, only the chain giving a soft, metallic chime even despite her best efforts.
Liliana froze, her hands still closing around the ring, and abruptly turned her head, glancing at Bishop over her shoulder with large eyes, another wave of fear mingling strongly with her panicked excitement.
But he just lay there, his breathing deep and regular, and so she relaxed once more, a soft sigh of relief escaping her lips. Slowly, she got to her feet, careful not to make another sound, and only as she made her first, trembling step over the wooden floor of the hut, she realised the enormity of what she had accomplished.
She had done it. She was really free!
That thought made a whirlwind of emotions run through her, disbelief, joy, astonishment and even the slightest hint of fear prominently among them, and she forcefully blinked the tears away that suddenly rose in her eyes, the turmoil within her almost more than she could bear.
But she needed to stay focussed. Free she might be, but that did not mean that she was safe!
So she tried to focus on the here and now, standing in the middle of the hut, her mind still in an uproar, uncertain what to do next. Although summer was drawing near, the nights were still cold, and now that her excitement had abated somewhat, Liliana could feel goose bumps rise all over her naked body, leaving her shivering in the cool night air.
She needed some clothes!
She cast a quick glance at the remnants of her dress, lying only a few feet away in a dark heap of cloth, almost hidden in the dim twilight, and swallowed hard at the images that were brought up by the sight.
Don't think about it, she thought desperately as the sound of ripping cloth echoed through her mind once more, it's ruined now, and the skirt would only have been a hindrance in the wilds, anyway.
But that left her with little choice.
The fabric of Bishop's tunic felt surprisingly soft under her fingers as she pulled it slowly over her head, the way too large shirt falling almost down to her knee, warming her freezing limbs. For a moment, his scent surrounded her, stirring even more unwanted memories, and Liliana shuddered, not knowing what to make of the sudden ache in her heart.
She was doing it. She was finally getting away from him. So why would her heart feel so heavy all of a sudden?
Because I'm a sheep, that's why, she thought furiously as she tiptoed over the wooden planks to Bishop's backback, determinedly resisting the unwelcome urge to look at his still sleeping form, another wave of that hot anger rippling through her.
No more confusion. No more hesitation. Time was running short, and she would be damned if she let all her suffering have been in vain!
A quick search through his backpack uncovered the pair of breeches and the piece of rope that she had worn during their hunting trip, and slowly, she pulled up the trews, stuffing the tunic under their hem and then using the rope to fasten both garments around her waist.
She turned, her eyes wandering through the hut searchingly, and discovered her shoes leaning against the opposite wall, close to the iron chains. Slowly, she made her way over the planks, gingerly reaching down for the blue suede… and at the sudden shift of weight, the plank at her feet gave a loud, creacking sound, and Liliana froze, her hands closing around her shoes, petrified, her head snapping up to stare at Bishop while another wave of that icy panic welled through her, her breath catching painfully in her throat.
Please… no, not now… I'm so close…
He stirred, the small movement already enough to make her heart almost burst out of her rib cage, but then simply curled up on the floor before he lay still once more, his eyes firmly closed and his breathing as calm and regular as before.
For what seemed an eternity, she kept kneeling to stare at him with wide eyes, her violently trembling hands gripping her shoes so tightly that it hurt, before she finally forced herself to get up and leave the hut, holding her breath with every step she took, silently praying to the gods to let the planks be silent, her eyes fixed on Bishop, watching for his every move.
The moonlight had wandered a bit, so that a part of his face was now cloaked in shadow, but Liliana could not help but notice how different he looked, lying there on the ground, fast asleep, the moonlight bathing his normally tanned skin in pale, white light.
So unguarded. So vulnerable.
…She can't help to notice the warmth of his skin as he pulls her towards him, the almost feverish heat that is emanating from his body, his scent surrounding her like a curtain…
… she tenses as he enters her, her grip around his shoulders tightening painfully… but even in her panicked state of mind, she is strangely touched when he stills above her, sensing her discomfort… trying to be gentle…
"Can't last… sorry, too much… want you too much… feels so good…"
Her heart gave a sudden painful squeeze, that strange, heavy feeling returning almost instantly, and she stopped, confused, her common sense screaming at her to just let it go, to leave the hut and escape this nightmare…
Slowly, she turned, carefully making her way back towards his part of the hut, putting her shoes down besides his backpack, and driven by a sudden urge that she did not fully understand, she reached for his blankets, lying in a disordered heap on his bedroll.
That would do you right, snapped the hysteric voice in her head, its words dripping with scorn, that he catches you while you are draping these blankets around his shoulders. Tell me, Liliana, will he still be grateful as soon as he realises what you have done?
Oh, shut up!, she thought angrily, not certain whether her sudden anger was directed at the voice in her head or her incredible stupidity as she carefully knelt down to cover Bishop with his blankets.
She knew that this probably was a mistake. She knew that she should have simply left the hut, and make a run for it. But seeing him like this, lying on the cold, wooden floor, his face relaxed with sleep, the harsh lines around his eyes and mouth suddenly gone, which made him look so much younger, so much more like a lost little boy and not like a cold blooded murderer, she just had to do it.
For a moment, she knelt by his side to watch him sleep, watched the rise and fall of his chest, listening to the steady sound of his breathing. Then, slowly, she got to her feet and tiptoed through the hut to fetch her shoes, that strange, heavy feeling still tugging at her heart.
Something rolled over the floor as she picked them up, and hastily, she grabbed the small piece of wood to keep it from making any more noise, its surface feeling surprisingly smooth under her fingers. Frowning, Liliana held it a little closer to the light, and her eyes widened noticeably as she realized what she had found.
Bishop's carving!
She remembered how he had suddenly jumped to his feet, his face livid, and had thrown the piece of wood into the corner with such vehemence that it seemed to have broken into several pieces and then ricocheted off the wall, its parts now scattered all over the hut. There was something strangely familiar about this piece's shape, and out of an impulse, she studied the carving more closely, slowly turning the wood in her fingers.
At first, it seemed as if he had just mindlessly hacked away at the log to vent his frustration, the cuts deep and irregular. But then, as she stepped a little closer to the door and held her hand into a ray of moonlight, its form came suddenly into sharp relief, and icy shivers ran down her spine while her breath caught painfully in her throat, her heart beating so terribly fast now that it hurt.
A lily.
But… carving a lily?
She remembered the fury on Bishop's face after he had thrown the piece of wood into the corner, glaring after it as if it had personally betrayed him, and how he had stormed out of the hut, only to return some moments later with the bottles of berry liquor, starting to drink mindlessly, almost desperately, that haunted expression back on his face…
You are nothing but a common thug, crawling around in the dirt, not worthy to hold a candle to him. You are disgusting. You are scum.
The words that she had thrown at him like knives came suddenly back to her mind, and she swallowed, remembering how he had crouched before her, grabbing her hair in that painful grip while he had glared at her with these burning eyes, looking so furious, so… hurt?
Maybe you'll feel different about my filthy touch when that ridiculous dress is pulling you under the water.
She looked over at his sleeping form, her hand closing painfully around the wood, and a strange feeling rose in her chest, a maelstrom of emotions, guilt, hurt, longing and a dozens more, swirling inside her, coiling like snakes, all tugging at her heart and making her feel like it would burst any moment under the sudden strain…
… and even though she tried to fight them down, tears rose in her eyes as she stared at him, at his face, so peaceful now, and for a split second, the memory of his genuine smile was enough to make her feel like the lowliest, most miserable creature ever for all the little games that she had played…
… but then, her anger returned with a vengeance, hauling away all her ill-felt notions of guilt and self-loathing, and hastily, she stowed the carving away in one of the pockets of his breeches and quietly made for the door, fuming inwardly for behaving like a sheep once more.
To think that, for a moment, she had truly felt like she had been the one to blame, for playing him, hurting him, when in fact he was the very man who had abducted her, had held her prisoner, all the time trying to manipulate her, and who was more than willing to kill her with the next sunrise…
It was ridiculous! Insane! And she would do good to remember that, and not wasting her time with draping some blankets around his shoulders!
Luckily, Bishop had not neatly closed the door behind him after his return, and so she only had to open it a little further to slip through, the low, creaking sound enough to make the hairs on her neck stand up, but fortunately, the gods (or the liquor) were still working in her favour and dulled the ranger's normally so sharp senses.
She couldn't keep herself from casting a last glance at his sleeping form, now almost completely cloaked in shadow, and then turned around, carefully sitting down on the lopsided bench to fasten the laces of her shoes, her emotions still in an uproar, his mended tunic draped beside her over the worm-eaten wood to dry.
There was a soft, rustling sound to her right, and Liliana looked up, alarmed – and her heart almost caught in her throat as she saw Karnwyr standing only a few steps away from her, watching her intently, his eyes shining bright in the light of Selune.
The wolf!
By the gods, how could she have forgotten?
She stared at the canine with wide eyes, her heart thumping painfully in her chest, and felt her sudden fear and despair reach for her with icy claws, choking her.
But she had been so close. It just was not fair!
Please, she thought, her eyes fixed on the wolf's face, not knowing whether she was actually pleading with him, or the gods, don't let this all have been in vain… I don't want to die…
For some painstaking long moments, he answered her stare solemnly, his eyes unblinking. Then the wolf abruptly turned on his heels, his fast movement actually making her jump, and without a sound, he silently entered the hut, vanishing from her sight.
Liliana stayed behind on the bench, her whole body trembling violently now, and the waves of despair that rippled through her were actually so strong that, for a second, she feared to faint from the sheer strength of her terror, fully expecting the wolf to alert Bishop, to hear the man's cold voice echo through the hut, asking what was wrong…
But the moments ticked by, and nothing happened.
The woods and the hut remained quiet, the silence only disturbed by the occasional sounds of a forest at night and the wind in the trees, but still, she could do nothing but sit there and shiver uncontrollably, her thoughts chasing each other in a panicked race, her terror freezing her effectively to the spot.
Move, hissed the hysterical voice in her head, sharp with anger and fear, by the gods, Liliana, don't let him find you here, huddled up on the bench, jittering for your life. MOVE!
Slowly, she got to her feet and staggered away, her legs feeling strangely wobbly, fully expecting to hear the door of the hut open with one of its ominous creaks, to hear the sound of paws sprinting over the leaves, to feel sharp teeth sinking into her flesh to keep her from getting away…
But she had already reached the first line of the trees, and still nothing happened.
Who knows, she mused, her thoughts strangely incoherent and distracted while her pulse pounded deafeningly in her ears, maybe he thinks you're a part of the pack now, after what Bishop…
That thought sent a wave of nausea rippling through her, and forcefully, she reached for her hair and gripped it tightly, close to her head, and then pulled sharply until her eyes started to water from the pain, a whimpered moan escaping her throat. Liliana let go, breathing heavily, her scalp hurting like hell, but at least, her mind had cleared once more, and determined, she kept walking, one awkward step after the other, for her legs were still feeling unnaturally wobbly.
No more thinking. No more hesitating. Just go!
And after a last glance back at the hut, she stepped under the trees and followed the small path down towards the foot of the hill, disappearing quietly into the night.
