Chapter 3: Finally, He's Back!
"Uhhhhhhnnnn…" murmured Sasuke as he woke up from being tranquilized. He felt a funny feeling as he looked at his surroundings. He was in a hospital, and strapped down by several restraints. He also noticed that he was naked, and that Sakura was gaping at him, also naked. "WHAT! SAKURA, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"
"What I should have done a long time ago, YOU!" Sakura was about to replace Jiraya's mantle as Konoha's main (and only other) sex offender, when Naruto, Sai, Tsunade, and Kakashi barged into the room.
Everyone stared at each other for five minutes, with Naruto being restrained from punching the crap out of Sasuke and Sai mumbling "no penis". Sakura slowly put her clothes back on, put Sasuke's clothes on, and stood up at the door.
"…Anyway, SASUKE! YOU'RE BACK! WE BROUGHT YOU BACK! YAY! Lee so owes me five bucks!" Yelled Naruto.
"Shut up! I was about to beat Itachi! I need to get back to the pyramid! Let me go! Said Sasuke.
Slowly, the curse mark creeped across Sasuke's body, and the straps binding him began to break.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Yelled Kakashi, as he started to begin a four-hour long sealing jutsu. As Kakashi began to do the first 72 hand signs of the 43 billion hand sign jutsu, Naruto took out a kunai and stabbed Sasuke's left shoulder.
"AAAARRGGH! WHAT THE FUCK!" yelled Sasuke. Naruto slowly moved the kunai around the curse mark, and when he made a full circle, ripped the patch of skin off.
"HOLY FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! FUCK!" Screamed Sasuke, as he began to twitch. The curse mark receded to the patch of skin Naruto had ripped off, which Tsunade promptly put into a box and covered it with magic pieces of paper with kanji that stopped anybody from opening it.
"Wow, I don't know why we didn't do that sooner." Said Kakashi.
"Yay! Now that Sasuke's curse mark is gone, he'll immediately switch back to the way he was, and we can pretend this whole thing never happened." yelled Naruto, as he leaned forward to hug Sasuke. Sadly, Sasuke had managed to break the restraint on his left arm, and immediately activated the Chidori, aiming directly at Naruto's open groin while screaming "HELL NO, FUCKFACE!"
Twelve Minutes Later…
Naruto was lying in the hospital bed next to Sasuke, twitching slightly. "…Anyway," said Kakashi, "The courts of Konoha have sentenced Sasuke to a year in incarceration, although he can be paroled for good behavior and agreeing to do missions. Also, the primary part of his punishment is that every day for three years, he will be tied up and left in a room alone with Sakura or Ino for one hour."
Sasuke immediately tried to bite off his tongue, but he was stopped by Tsunade.
"Anyway, I better drag this guy to Ibiki for interrogation along with that weird schitzophrenic shrub guy. C'mon Sasuke." Said Kakashi, as he dragged his gurney to the torture corps.
"Don't worry Sasuke! If they don't torture you too bad, we can have ramen together, as long as your arms and legs are bound and you're escorted by twelve ANBU black ops who will stab you if you try to eat without being fed by one of them!" Yelled Naruto.
A single tear rolled down Sasuke's cheek as he was wheeled away.
Meanwhile, in the torture room…
"I said ANSWER ME, YOU FUCK! Where is the Akatsuki base!?!?!" Said Ibiki as he applied the thumbscrews to Zetsu.
"It's at the north poleAUGGHHH!" yelled White Zabuza.
"No, it's on the moonOHGOD!" yelled Black Zabuza.
Ibiki sighed. "Look, it's been a long day. I had to torture a couple of boyscouts today for shoplifting, so can we just say I tortured you and do something else?"
"There's a bong and a few gameboys in my jacket pocket." Said both Zabuzas.
Next Chapter: HE'S ESCAPED! Kakashi interrogates Sasuke
AU: Thank you for reviewing, Antispartan! For all of you reading this story, please review.
