Chapter 12- The brightest smile
Anzu's POV
Five minutes have just gone by, yet I feel as though I have been sitting here for days. My heart is continuously pounding like crazy, playing relentlessly like a sad melody, rumbling louder and louder by the minute and I am still unable to stop crying. The hopes that I have once had are dead and the feeling of senselessness has taken over my strength, like the devil himself locking away those who are helpless. The sheltered exterior around me has shattered into a million pieces and I am powerless.
My fears have grown enormously large, causing despair to perpetually haunt me and tonight my bedroom feels terribly cold. From the time I've entered my room, I have not left this secluded location and for the moment it is a place for me to hide my tears. I will sit here with my eyes shut tight and block out the hideous world forever.
My clock is talking incessantly, ticking and ticking away all the time that I've wasted sobbing in bed. There are no more words to express how I feel at this moment, except numbness, a lifeless feeling confining my every thought.
I sit here still trying to let the words sink in. I remember them clearly, like the bells on top of the church I use to go to, but try as I might, I can't bring myself to believe it…or maybe I don't want to believe it.
Nineteen days…
Why me? Why does it have to be me? I had hopes and dreams…I had my future already planned out…I was going to study in New York right after I get out of high school…I was going to become a great dancer if not famous…so why?
Why did I drag Ryou into my mess? He deserves someone better…someone who isn't dying…I was so happy the day he confessed to me, and I let that get to me…I should have lied and said I didn't feel the same way…then he wouldn't have to be so heartbroken when I'm gone…I guess it's true when they say 'you always hurt the ones you love'.
I shouldn't be so selfish…
I reached for the music box at my side; there is a ballerina inside twirling in circles. I closed my eyes as I listen to the playing of the childhood lullaby. The music seemed to sooth me. I felt my tenseness relax and my head cleared of all troubled thoughts.
So what if I have nineteen days left? I had caring friends who would always be there for me and support me all the way, I had many adventures that will forever leave a smile in my heart, and most importantly, I found love.
I abruptly have this sudden urge to see Ryou. But my body was weak and tired, I couldn't get up.
I called his name, hoping he heard me because I just realized my voice sounded so small. Must be from all that crying back at the hospital. But luck must be on my side today because there was suddenly a knock at the door.
Ryou's POV
I was downstairs making some soup for Anzu hoping she'd eat it, seeing as she looked so worn out lately. I stirred the soup continuously as I found myself become lost in my own thoughts. I've known Anzu ever since I transferred to Domino High; she was one of the first people to say high to me. She then introduced me to her friends and pretty soon we became best friends. What amazes me most was that she always wore a carefree smile on her face, like nothing bothered her; there I noticed that she was beautiful, and had a wonderful personality. After all these years of good times and hardships we had together, I finally realized that I was in love with her.
I'll never forget the day at the school's balcony where I finally told her how I feel about her, and I was so relieved that she loved me back, that was the best day of my life. I never felt this way towards anybody before…I don't know what I'm going to do without her…I don't want to lose her…
The saddest day of my life was when she told me she had leukemia, I can't comprehend the fact that she's dying…I can't believe that she's going to leave me forever…but I know I have to be strong for her…I know I have to be there for her when she needs me the most.
Nineteen days…
I snapped out of my thoughts when I suddenly felt something wet land on the top of my hand. Looking down I see that it's a drop of water. My hand reached up touching my cheeks. Are these tears? Was I crying without knowing it? Before I could think more of it, I heard something upstairs where Anzu is at. Thinking she's in trouble, I ran up the stairs to her room.
"Anzu?" I called softly upon entering her room. She looked up with a full smile gracing her features. I was shocked to say the least but I was rather happy to see she's not looking so glum anymore.
"Ryou, I missed you" she said childishly. I smiled; I have only been gone for an hour downstairs while letting her rest. I took a seat on the bed with her while I wrapped my arms around her as her head leaned on my chest.
"What's on your mind?" I mumbled through her hair. She giggled at me. I love her giggles, I missed them too.
"Just you" she said, her face tired but happy like. Makes me happy to see her happy. I wonder what made her so happy. A minute ago she looked so lost and depressed.
"I love you…" I suddenly found myself saying. She put a hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes with her big intense cerulean eyes. I couldn't help but blush. "I know" she whispered "I love you too".
I brought my lips closer to her and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. My hands went up to her cheeks and the back of her head deepening the kiss. When we finally pulled out for air, I saw her blushing, staring at me.
"Were you crying Ryou?" that was unexpected; I gave her a confused look. "Your eyes, they're red" I looked at the mirror across the room and saw that my eyes were quite red.
"I guess I have been huh?"
"Why were you crying?" she looked at me sadly.
"Because I love you…and I worry about you so much…" I said kissing her forehead. Oh Ryou…" I embraced her tightly, afraid to let her go. Then I remembered she had to eat something.
"Come Anzu, I made some soup for you downstairs, it may be a little burnt though" I felt bashful all of a sudden. Knowing she's too weak to walk at this moment, I bent down and put my arms under her knees and around her shoulder and lifted her up. She giggled again. I love that sound. "I'll eat anything you make for me" she said as she leaned her head on my shoulder. I smiled and bent my head down to give her a peck on her lips.
Even though she only has nineteen days left, I'm happy to know she is optimistic again. I have finally learned to accept the fact that she's going to die soon. But I know our last days together will be wonderful. I will make sure of it. She loves to dance, so I will make sure she gets her last dance.
Silentmonkgirl- yes poor Ryou, he went a bit overboard huh?
Sailortiamat- yeah, it's amazing what angry people can do.
fearOfDying- hmm…I think this story is coming to an end soon, maybe I'm dragging it too much?
pinkdreamer122- thanks for the review)
black-flare-shadow- haha, I doubt they'll make a dying person pay for it. In anime at least
V son sayian- slow on updates? Me too pal.
Dojomistressambychan- awww was it that sad? That's great! Well I think my story is coming to an end soon, maybe a few more chapters?
RamenII- yes, I believe that girls can pull the most violent tantrums haha
ultraAnimefangurl2004- yeah I have to pat for everything too, really sucks. I still want to move out though; I'd get so much freedom
bishoplover- thank you!
Blackmystweaver- yeah, it's a shame she has to die, all my fault.
