Note: I hate yaoi, but I have nothing against gay people. I just think that Sasuke has no reason to sodomize Naruto and to believe otherwise is simple denial.
Chapter 13 (Final): About Damn Time! Storming the Base and the Secret Weapon!
Ten weeks after the battle against Hidan, the party had finally made it to the outside of the Akatsuki base.
"Phew! I just hope Naruto is okay." Said Shino Bug 22 as he finished off the last of the giant crap pile that had been their food reserves.
Inside the base…
The Akatsuki members were crowded around a TV. A naked Naruto was also trying to watch.
"I know that this exactly-four-months-and-ten-week-long-One Piece-Marathon is important, but wasn't there something we were supposed to do?" Said Pein.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Tobi and Naruto simultaneously. "Luffy's eating something!"
Outside the base…
"Man, that was some good shi-" Said Shino Bug 22 just before the walnut landed by him making a giant explosion.
"HOLYFUCKWHATWASTHATOGODOGODOGOD!" Screamed Shino Bug 121 as they began dodging more nuts. Looking up, they saw Bobbith and her walnut bazooka. The battle was desperate until Jimmython bravely leapt towards Bobbith and…
"Hey! Jimmython's beating Bobbith! It looks like he's trying to tackle her but isn't quite making it. He's trying again! And Again! And again! And-"
"Let's go" said Shino Bug 121, who had just realized what was happening.
The bugs rounded a corner, arriving just in time to meet a grinning Big Pein, with the rest of the Akatsuki at his heels.
"Any last words, insects?" asked Konan, leering.
"Um…" Shino Bug 22 frantically took out his laptop, and in a panic began typing.
READERS, HELP! I'M BEING ATTACKED! COME HELP ME!
Nothing happened.
IF YOU HELP, I'LL PUT IN A FAN PAIRING.
Nothing happened.
IF YOU HELP, I'LL PUT IN A LEMON.
Nothing happened.
Shino Bug 22 sighed, and sold away the last of his pride.
IF YOU HELP, I'LL PUT IN A YAOI LEMON.
At first nothing happened, but a distinct rumbling was heard. Than, the ceiling, floor, walls, and windows broke simultaneously as fanfiction readers and writers stormed the fortress, murmuring "YAOI…YAOI…YAOI…" Millions arrived every second through cracks in the floor, openings under doors, and from the skies.
"NOOO! HOW IS THIS HAPPENING! WHAT THE HELL!" Screamed Pein as he continued to sink into the mass.
"Anyone who ever spends any time at all on my fanfics site knows that nearly every person there is obsessed with forcing characters who have nothing at all to do with each other to have vulgar, pornography style sex, and of this base, the biggest group is the yaoi fans!" Screamed Shino Bug 22 as more slobbering fans stormed in. After a few minutes, the entire base was decimated, and the Akatsuki gone. A fan wiped his mouth.
Epilogue
Naruto returned to the village,
disappointed that he didn't get to finish watching one piece. He
and Hinata had crazy reunion sex, got married, and had several dozen
kids. Naruto finally became Hokage at age 89. He died four minutes
later.
Sasuke, Sakura, and Karin all died a year after the events I have described to you. According to Konoha's police forces, Karin and Sakura had killed Sasuke, and both wanted to wear his skin. They died fighting each other.
Kakashi took over Konoha's mantle as the biggest pervert of all time. He finished the Makeout Paradise series, and is currently underground, trying to dig through to the women's hot springs.
Shino Bugs 22 and 121 returned to Shino as heroes. Shino Bug 22 unfortunately had to write a yaoi, and is currently hiding from yaoi fans, because apparently it wasn't very good.
Jimmython and Bobbith had 53 squirrel-dog babies, and established a ninja village in the ruins of the akatsuki base. Currently, they are plotting world domination, and have already sent Frederick out to deliver their ultimatum.
The other characters, who aren't very important, had lots of stuff happen to them. Then they died.
THE END
