A/N: I've been told several times by friends and readers on another website, Gaiaonline, to continue this story, because it has potiential. I agreed, and I also wanted very badly to do a story from Ryuichi's point of veiw. So, I've continued it. I don't have a specific plot, except that Ryu and Shu are on a tour together around the world, and Ryuichi constantly sneaks off to think in beautiful (and not so beautiful) places, and this is where we catch our stories. The one thing I do know, is that this story is dedicated to supershu-chan, who's story "Butterfly Tears" inspired me to actually write something like this in the first place!
Snow is a sign of purity, and of death. Will you lie with me and die? Death is the only way to escape our lives in the light; we will be reborn with the sun as new beings, joined forever by the end of our old lives and the birth of new ones.
I'm cold again. Snow falls onto my face. Where am I again? Hokkaido… maybe. Somewhere where it snows and glitters.
Stretching my arms out from my body, lifting my head up, drinking in the grey watered moonlight of a snowy night. Flakes cover my long eyelashes, turning them frosty white. I open my mouth, water trickles through my teeth and over my mouth, coating my red hot throat with cool liquid.
I shout, I scream. It echoes through the night, the reverberant sound muffled by the soft mufflings of snow. I'll give you back, because you don't belong to me. I scream harder, until I have no breath left in the silent night.
Oh, sing to me…
Snow is so pure, so fresh, so white and clean. I want to bathe in it.
I fall backwards, the thick coverings of the world cushioning my otherwise jarring fall.
I roll helplessly around in it, marring its cool, clean surface.
I hate the snow! It covers everything and makes it beautiful!
It continues the pretense that everything will be alright in the end, when it won't. It never glitters, it never glows. It mars and ruins the glittering people of this world. It is worse than city lights and temptations. With its wonderful whiteness, it leeches people's perceptions, and makes all beautiful.
This is why I love it, despite my loathing of false pretenses of the world. If I seem just a bit more beautiful, a bit more sparkling… Maybe, my star will forget those who hurt his heart.
Clouds have come and covered his eyes, showering his heart with their snow. He appears the same, but underneath the ice of his heart… He is sad.
He has been tainted with the world. I wish he had never fallen to earth. As much as I longed for it, I was too far away when he fell. I missed him.
He has had a fight with the one that he loves. I heard it. Right before we boarded the train for this snow covered place. I can tell that he is sad.
I hurt. I lay facedown in snow, my fingers grasping and pounding into the ground in a silent tantrum. I want him to be happy. To have his face sparkle and glitter with laughter, not tears reflected in the sun!
Even in the club tonight, he was sad. With people laughing and dancing and listening to him sing, he was sad. I could see it. He didn't sparkle anymore. It was artificial, coming from the lights behind him and the snow that was falling thickly against the windows.
It makes me so infinitely sad. I cry into the snow, melting it. It freezes again, a layer of ice cushioning my face.
It's not fair. Not fair at all.
But what is fair but a feeling of discontent? Where is my basis of comparison? Fair is not something that they teach in school, because… no matter how much we wish and we cry, life … Life is never fair.
A sob escapes my lips and I sit, staring up at the sky. Snow is falling harder now, and I am aware of how cold I am in my tee-shirt and flannel over shirt.
I don't care. I want to sit out here and let the false beauty sink into my skin. The pureness of death. I want to die and be reborn as someone he can love.
Again, for maybe the hundredth time tonight, I hear his voice calling out. It is sweet. There is a tinge of sadness that lingers in the air and tinges my taste.
I raise my hand feebly. He rushes over and drapes himself against me.
"You disappeared again!" he scolded, scowling up at me. "Without your jacket too. You're going to get sick."
I laugh. Even sad, he makes me smile. "I'm okay," I assure him softly. "I won't get sick."
He looks up at me sadly. His large eyes fill with tears, and he begins to cry against my chest. "I don't want you to leave me too, l-like he did," he whimpered.
He's talking about that man. I hug his small, warm body to mine, rocking him gently. "Forget about him," I plead to my star. He fell into the wrong arms, I was who you were meant for, right?
He shakes his head. "But I love him so much!"
"And I love you much more!" I finally said it.
He looks up at me with wide, disbelieving eyes. After a long while, he smiled. "For serious?" he whispered.
I nod. He snuggles against me, warming my cold body.
We sit and watch the snow fall, killing our old lives with, suffocating us with its bleach blank whiteness. We are then reborn, pure and untouched by the staining color of the world.
Together, we are of this world, and then we are dead. Together, we are stainless, and then we are reborn.
