Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Square Enix does. I do however; own this particular fan fiction and its plot.

Warning:This fiction contains mature themes such as sex, violence, language, and hate. If you can't handle these themes, I suggest you leave. Yaoi a.k.a; men having sexual relationships with other men, is a main part in this fic once again if this bothers you then please remove yourself.

The topics addressed and the views portrayed in this story do NOT reflect those of the authoress. She has only set out to portray the views of the hateful people that she views in life. The authoress is sorry if any words or comments offend anyone but she hopes you can see why she felt the need to put them in.

Pushing You Away: Part V

(13 days until…)

Their lips met and a cheer ran through the crowd. Kairi pulled away and beamed at her family. Sora had never seen her as happy before. If only he too could feel the joy that comes with marriage to the one you love, but Sora didn't love Kairi and he wasn't sure if he ever would.

(8 days until…)

"Kairi," Sora called from his couch. The living room was dark except for the faint glow that came from the kitchen door.

"Yeah Sora?" The woman asked poking her head into the darkened room. "Why are you sitting in the dark? Dinner won't be ready for a while so why don't you watch some T.V.?" Kairi strolled towards the saddened brunet, her concern growing as she came closer and saw that Sora had been crying. Kneeling Kairi grabbed the remote from the coffee table before her and clicked on the T.V. It buzzed and slowly came to life, illuminating the room with its muted glow.

Sora watched her with lost eyes as he tried to formulate his concerns into questions.

"What is it?" Kairi asked voice wavering. Sora's emptiness made her uncertain.

"Aren't you going to tell your parents? About our baby I mean?" Sora's blue eyes bore into Kairi's; there was no comparison between the two. Sora's eyes were all that Kairi's weren't honest, hopeful, deep, loving, and hurt. Unable to hold his gaze any more Kairi pushed herself up from her knees and headed back towards the kitchen.

"I thought I would wait." She called over her shoulder before disappearing into the light. Worry shot like a current through Sora.

Please don't let Riku have been right, Sora pleaded. Violently he pushed himself from the couch and rushed into the kitchen.

Blinded momentarily by the difference in light, Sora waited for the spots in his vision to go away. Kairi was leaning over the stove stirring their dinner seemingly unaware of Sora's presence.

"Why?" Sora demanded in a strong voice, Kairi wasn't going to weasel out of this question. She looked up at Sora and smiled sadly.

"You don't understand Sora," her eyes began to water as she removed the spoon from the pot and laid it gently on the counter.

"I just couldn't bare it if…if…" A sob escaped between her thin lips, Sora went to her, wrapping his arms around that tinny body.

"If what Kai? Explain it to me. I want to understand, I need to understand."

"Sora I just couldn't handle getting my mother and father all excited and then loosing the baby. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean everything is set in stone. People loose babies all the time. I read that if you make it into the second trimester the chances of a miscarriage decreases by half. I want to wait till we are sure everything will turn out okay." Sora squeezed Kairi gently, trying to soothe the upset woman.

"Honey we aren't going to loose the baby. If you're worried then I'll do everything I can to keep you from being stressed, maybe we shouldn't have sex too, just to be safe," Sora said stroking Kairi's hair lovingly. Kairi tensed crushing's Sora's relief.

"NO!" Kairi exclaimed pulling away from Sora's embrace. "The baby isn't going to be hurt by that. There is no reason to stop, especially now since you don't have to wear a condom. I'm already pregnant, what is the worse that can happen." Kairi turned her seductive eyes to Sora.

"The worse that can happen is that your fear comes true; that we loose the baby." Sora said backing away, as he began to see the truth because the part of him that had doubted Riku could no longer pretend not to see the convenience of it all. The dots were connected as they say and Sora could no longer lie to himself.

"I don't want this baby to come between us Sora." Kairi said touching her stomach for emphasis with one hand and reaching for Sora with the other.

Sora slapped that hand away as hard as he could. Kairi yelped and scrambled away, frightened by the Sora's sudden rage.

"He was right!" The brunet said astonished, staring at the woman who had backed away as far as she could, her back pressed roughly against the far cabinets. Sora moved forward, reaching the small woman in three strides. "Why Kairi?" He wrapped his hands around Kairi's thin upper arms. "Why lie?" he yelled shaking her violently.

"Stop, Stop, Stop!" Kairi screamed, hands pushing against Sora's chest, fighting to escape his angry grip.

Sora let go suddenly sending Kairi to the floor. The woman scooted a few more inches away from the enraged man before pulling her knees up to her chest.

"What have I done?" Sora cried, staring down at his shaking hands.

"It is okay, I forgive you; I know you are angry but I forgive you." She said soothingly from her huddled position on the cold linoleum floor.

"Not you!" Sora yelled he'd never been so angry before in his life. It was as if his anger fed on his other emotions, all the disgust, sadness, and fear, all of it served to nourish his anger. "Riku, he, we were going to leave together, to get away from people like you, to be happy."

"Fags can't be happy Sora! What happiness can come from living in sin?" Kairi said her tone was venomous.

"Sin, you would know all about living in sin wouldn't you Kairi. After all you fucked me before we were married, that's a sin right. Oh and lying is a sin as well. Everything you do is sinful; you have no right to lecture me!" Sora argued his cold gaze stared down at the woman as she flinched at every accusation.

"Sora, men can't be happy without women. That is what we are for; it's what I'm for, pleasing you. All I wanted was for you to be happy. I don't want to see you damned."

"I already am! I'm damned and that makes me happy. Riku makes me happy. You have trapped me here and I will NEVER," Sora slammed his fist down onto the counter, a violent punctuation, "NEVER be happy. I was going to do what was right Kairi because I loved you enough to do that for you, now I see exactly how much you loved me." Sora could feel the tears threatening to come and he refused to cry here, with Kairi huddled on the ground at his feet.

"I'm leaving," Sora announced and went to gather the few things he would need.

"We are married Sora, married you can't just leave me." Kairi screamed after Sora.

"The marriage was based on a lie Kairi, I say I can." Sora yelled before climbing the stairs. He ignored her threats as he grabbed the only things he needed his passport, his wallet, keys, and a gun.

(8 days until…)

"Riku! Riku are you here? Please answer, please...Riku!" Sora yelled, after receiving no answer he collapsed to his knees on the cement slab near the front door of Riku's house. "Riku," Sora called defeated. "You must have left; I don't blame you; after all we did have that apartment already picked out. I wouldn't want to stay and be reminded of me either." He paused, "I don't want to live any more. I'm just not meant to be happy, never was, that much is clear now. I let my head destroy my heart all because of a lie. I've ruined my life more than I can bear."

Nothing has ever worked out for me. Everything is an up hill battle and I am just so tired of fighting with all of my being just to be denied the one thing that can make me happy. I can do it any more.

Sora's voice was barely audible as he whispered his goodbyes and pressed the gun harshly against the side of his head. The brunet man closed his eyes and placed his finger on the trigger; it was time to...

"Sora!"

BANG

Sora's eyes flew open as the shot echoed out across the town. He hadn't been expecting to hear that voice ever again, it had surprised him and...

"Riku," Sora whispered coughing blood instantly down upon his chest.

"Call for help now!" Riku screamed at the neighbors who had come to investigate the ruckus Sora had been making. The silver haired man collapsed next to his friend, hands hovering above that frail body, unsure of where to touch. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry Sora, I'm..."

"Don't be...I love you," Sora paused and closed his eyes, his eyelids felt impossibly heavy and he couldn't manage to keep them open any longer. "Riku I'll wait for you. I love...I love...you," Sora exhaled and Riku waited anxiously for his next breath, a breath that he knew wasn't coming.

"Sora! Sora," the man pulled the brunet's lifeless body into his arms. "Please, breathe, here," Riku pushed his lips roughly against Sora's. "I love you too, I forgive you just wake up. Oh God...oh...God!" Riku pushed the body from his arms and stumbled a few steps into his yard before falling down completely. Sirens grew louder until they were there, pulling up to the home. Men piled out of an ambulance stretcher in hand.

It's too late he's gone. Riku thought still collapsed in the yard, motionless. His world spun every time he opened his eyes, his heart broke every time he thought of his friend covered in blood; so he lay in the cool grass wishing he too could die.

"Sir? Sir are you alright?" Warm fingers pressed against Riku's neck then it was he who was being lifted onto the stretcher, the stretcher that was meant for Sora.

"What are you doing?" Riku screamed sitting up, "This is for Sora, this is for him." The man pointed to the spot where a sheet now covered his lover from the curious eyes of the neighbors.

"Sir that man is gone. We can't do anything for him, but we can help you now please," the paramedic said calmly, "lay back down." The men continued to wheel Riku towards the flashing lights of the ambulance that waited.

"I am fine; help him, take care of him. Please," Riku screamed.

"Sir," an anonymous man said, sternly gripping Riku's shoulder. "He is gone. There is absolutely nothing you or we can do. Now please calm down and let us help you."

Riku felt as if that man's hands had sucked all the fight from his body. Numb and cold the silver haired man stopped fighting the paramedics just as the stretcher was lifted into the back of the vehicle.

"But," the doors closed, "he did it because of me." Riku's words fell on deft ears as the paramedics talked to distract him and busily took his vital signs. Who cares how old he was, all that mattered to him was that now Sora was dead, the paramedics didn't seem to understand that fact as well as Riku did because the useless questions continued.

(0 days until…Sora is laid to rest)

Sora was cremated and laid to rest in a small ceremony on Destiny Island. Riku watched from a distance until everyone left; it amazed him how quickly everyone scattered, almost immediately once the priest's words were done. When the site was deserted Riku approached, a single red rose in his hand. He knelt and let the rose drop into the grave.

Why they had insisted on paying a shit load of money for a coffin that would only hold a small container of Sora's ashes Riku didn't know. The man chalked it up to everyone having his or her own way of mourning. If Sora's family wanted him in a solid oak coffin, it was their business.

"I love you Sora, I always have and I'll never stop. You promised me you would wait for me and I'm going to hold you to it." Riku ran his fingers along the cool soil next to the grave as he wished the stone had been finished so that he would have something somewhat less morbid to caress.

"Riku," A voice called hesitantly.

"Goodbye Sora," Riku whispered before he stood and dusted off his slacks. The man then turned and headed back the way he had come.

"Riku! Talk to me God damn it!" The woman demanded harshly as she took a step to follow him. Disgust as well as hatred laced her tone yet she had initiated this confrontation. Riku almost smiled at the thought of the woman suffering under the heavy burden of her guilt.

"For someone so fucking devout you sure do take the Lords name in vain a lot Kairi. Tell me has anyone ever told you that you are a complete and utter hypocrite? No? Then glad I could be the first now go away," Riku turned to wave goodbye to the girl before turning around and continuing on his path. "There is nothing I have to say to you that would matter, therefore you are wasting your time. I will not forgive you and I will not absolve you of your guilt so go home! Go home Kairi and never speak to me again." Riku called over his shoulder. The brunette woman stared after him as she digested what Riku had said, finally it all sunk in, he was blaming her when it was him who tempted Sora in the first place.

"How dare you," she screamed after him, "it was you! You are the one who killed him." Kairi yelled at the top of her lungs but Riku was already too far away and worse yet he already knew.

A/N: So this is the last part. I saw that I had up dated today

which is exactly one year after the first part was

posted so I wanted to finish it today as well.

I wrote an epilogue to follow Part V so check it out too.

Thank you everyone who has read and reviewed

this fic.

Lonely