At the Piano
Welcome to the next installment of "The Cullens" from Edward's point of view. My obsession will not let me stop… Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: People, it's still not mine. It's not going to be. I'm just having a little fun, and I really don't want to get sued!
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I decided to begin with Esme's favorite, one of my first compositions of this life. Esme would appreciate the fact that the first song I played for Bella was the song I wrote for Esme herself.
And then my family started to laugh mentally. Their thoughts were focused on Bella's face, so I didn't need to look at her to see the utter shock that flooded her features.
I turned to her, not letting myself stop playing, and asked, "Do you like it?" I winked.
"You wrote this?" she gasped, understanding warring with disbelief in her eyes.
I nodded. "It's Esme's favorite."
Bella closed her eyes, shaking her head slowly.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm feeling extremely insignificant."
Bella? Insignificant? That was so far from the truth that I could have laughed at the absurdity of the statement. I continued playing, but let the melody change until I was playing the lullaby I had hummed for her the night before.
When my family noticed, they slipped silently from the room.
"You inspired this one," I told her softly.
She didn't speak.
The silence was killing me. "They like you, you know." I needed to hear her voice. "Esme especially."
At my words, Bella twisted around, looking toward where my family had been. "Where did they go?"
"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose.
She sighed again. "They like me. But Rosalie and Emmett…" she trailed off doubtfully.
I frowned. I had been hoping that she wouldn't mention my sister. "Don't worry about Rosalie," I said, trying to persuade her with my eyes. "She'll come around." She would do so eventually; even Rosalie is not capable of nursing her irrational jealousy for an eternity.
Bella glanced back at me, skepticism clear in her expression. "Emmett?"
"Well, he thinks I'm a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Rosalie." He was one of the few able to do so and have any hope of success. To tell the truth, Bella intrigued Emmett. For decades, he has been trying to get me interested in every unattached female vampire we have come across. He wanted to see the human who had bested all of his efforts. Perhaps he would leave me alone, now. But no, it is impossible for Emmett to avoid teasing people. He never thinks anything that he won't say, but a majority of what he thinks is designed to drive the rest of the family crazy. He loves pranks almost as much as he loves competition, and teasing even more.
Hesitantly, Bella asked, "What is it that upsets her?" It was clear that she was not certain she wanted to know the answer.
And I was very reluctant to tell her the truth. That Rosalie was upset for the same reason that Emmett was intrigued. So I went with an answer that was also true, but secondary.
"Rosalie," I said, sighing deeply as I attempted to phrase my answer properly, "struggles the most with… with what we are." She felt that, in her case, Carlisle had acted too quickly. She believed that Carlisle's desire to create a companion for me had led him to see her condition as much worse than it really was. She resented the change; the loss of her humanity and all that humanity meant. And she knew about Alice's visions. "It's hard for her," I continued, "to have someone on the outside know the truth." Again, I struggled with how much to tell Bella. How much would be too much? I would give one final detail, but not the true reason behind it. "And she's a little jealous."
'Little' was definitely an understatement.
Bella was absolutely incredulous. "Rosalie is jealous of me?" she gasped, utterly stunned.
"You're human," I shrugged. "She wishes that she were too.
"Oh," she gasped, still stunned. "Even Jasper, though…"
I had been hoping she wouldn't notice that. A vain hope, yes, but I have succeeded in deluding myself many times before this.
"That's really my fault," I told her, chagrin pricking at my conscience. "I told you he was the most recent to try our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance."
And then I cursed myself mentally when she shuddered. I hadn't meant to frighten her that time.
"Esme and Carlisle …?" she asked quickly, trying, I'm sure, to prevent me noticing her fear.
I took the opportunity to distract her gladly. "Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. All this time, she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential makeup, that I was too young when Carlisle changed me…. She's ecstatic." Esme was more that ecstatic. She had been terrified that I would spend eternity alone, never know love. Over the past few years, that fear had only gotten worse; especially after I refused Tanya's advances in Denali. "Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."
To my immense satisfaction, Bella did not comment on that statement. Instead, she continued the previous conversation. "Alice seems very… enthusiastic."
I felt my expression harden at those words. Alice was a dangerous topic. I tried to be diplomatic.
"Alice has her own way of looking at things."
"And you're not going to explain that, are you?"
I looked into her eyes, only then noticing that she knew I was keeping something from her. Letting her see that I had no intention of explaining more than I had already. How could I even elucidate the problem so that she'd understand? Alice tends to sip the present because of her visions. She often acts like the things she's seen have already happened. To her, there is really very little difference between the present and the future. Take her vision this morning as an example. Alice saw herself and Bella as friends. They weren't, not yet, but to Alice that detail was insignificant. To Alice, they were friends and Bella just hadn't realized it yet. And I certainly wasn't going to tell Bella that Alice had seen her as one of us, and was looking forward to gaining a sister. Better that she never learned how the transformation was made. If she never learned that, she would never loose her chance at heaven. I couldn't stand to see Bella loose heaven. She was too perfect to live a damned existence.
Bella's next question startled me out of my reverie. "So what was Carlisle telling you earlier?"
I was impressed. "You noticed that, did you?"
"Of course," she shrugged.
Would this be the moment she ran from me? "he wanted to tell me some news—he didn't know if it was something I would share with you."
"Will you?"
"I have to, because I'm going to be a little… overbearingly protective over the next few days—or weeks—and I wouldn't want you to think that I'm naturally a tyrant."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're curious."
"Visitors?"
"Yes… well, they aren't like us—in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone." I knew that she smelled better than the average human to the members of my family. I wasn't about to let strange vampires come near her. With her luck, they would decide to hunt her.
She shivered.
"Finally," I murmured, "a rational response! I was beginning to think you had no sense of self- preservation at all."
She ignored me, allowing her eyes to scan the bright room instead.
I followed her gaze. "Not what you expected, is it?" I asked, feeling a little smug.
"No," she admitted.
With a sudden grin, I remembered all of the ridiculous stereotypes the media indulged in spreading about my kind. From her questions, I knew that she had believed many of them. I wanted to know how many she had thought might be true about my home. "No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don't even think we have cobwebs…. What a disappointment this must be for you." I said slyly.
"It's so light… so open."
"It's the one place we never have to hide." The one place where there are no secrets, no lies, no acts. The one place we can truly be ourselves with the people we love. The one place we didn't have to worry about betraying our secrets. Our home, in the true sense of the word. The place where we all tuly felt like we belonged, where we weren't forced to keep secrets. It terrified me that I felt so at ease with her here. If felt like she already belonged…
I finally let her song drift to a close, the melancholy key trying to show her my fears for her. Already mourning the day when she would be no longer part of my life. They day would come, i knew that. And then I would prove Esme right in her fears, and spend eternity alone. The last note hung, poignant, in the silence.
"Thank you," she breathed. Her face flushed again as moisture flooded her eyes. She wiped them away, but a single drop still hung at the corner of her eye. My hand reached out, no longer under my conscious control, and caught it. The tiny drop fascinated me. I couldn't tear my eyes away from it.
I wondered what it would taste like. And then, my hand was migrating toward my mouth. The moisture touched my tongue. Ecstasy. It tasted even better than she smelled. I couldn't help but wonder how the sweet ambrosia of her blood would compare. I tensed then, waiting for the monster to spring.
She looked at me, a question in her eyes. I could say nothing, unable to believe what I had just done. But… the monster had stayed quiescent. I smiled.
"Do you want to see the rest of the house?" I asked, finally in control of my voice.
"No coffins?" she demanded, the sarcasm unable to completely mask her anxiety.
I laughed, taking her delicate hand in my own and leading her away from the piano.
"No coffins," I verified, leading her up the staircase.
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Next chapter is currently half -written, but I have no idea when I'll be able to first finish, and then type it. Please be patient with me!
Let me know if anything is being done wrong! I can't fix what I don't know about!
Thanks for reading!
