Disclaimer: If you think it's clever, it probably isn't mine. And hopefully none of you watch Coupling, because that would totally ruin my credibility...


Conversations

Sharpay stood in front of her full length mirror scrunching her nose at her perfect figure. She was wearing a short, light blue sundress and, convinced that it didn't fit right, was anxiously playing with the fabric, pulling the dress tighter and yanking at its seams. Ryan lay on her bed, back propped up by her over-stuffed pillows, hand resting behind his head as his other hand played with his phone.

"In this dress, do I have a hint of vastness?" Sharpay asked, breaking the comfortable silence. Pulled out of his thoughts, Ryan looked up with a hint of irritation dancing on his features. "I mean, honestly, below the waste. Does it say 'Look what's washed up on the beach, boys; the settlement is saved!' ?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Ryan laughed. "You look great."

"But, I don't want to look great. I want to look thin!" She whined, turning to scrutinize her bottom in the mirror. Fortunately, before Ryan could say anything more, his phone started to ring, saving him from yet another conversation about Sharpay's imaginary flaws.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ryan, it's Gabby," the girl squeaked. "D–did you, by any chance, get the voicemail that I left the other day?"

With an eye roll, Ryan easily turned his acting voice on to answer her, "Gabby, hi! Yeah, I was just about to call you. What's up?"

"Not much, I was just wondering if you'd, maybe, like to get a coffee?"

"You know," Ryan replied, pleasantly surprised by the suggestion. "That is exactly what I'd like to do."

"Great," Gabriella sighed with relief.

"Mm-K, bye then."

"Wait, Ryan! Whe-" Ryan snapped his phone shut thoughtfully only to be immediately accosted by Sharpay's voice.

"How can my ass be doing this to me?! I swear it's back there snacking when I'm not looking! Do you think there's such a thing as air borne calories?"

"Air borne calories?" Ryan repeated incredulously. "Now you're just being dumb."

Ignoring his comment, Sharpay began sizing her hips with her hands as she said, "So, Gabby, huh? What's up with that?"

"Yeah," Ryan laughed, "She thinks I'm gay and I'm pretty sure she's on the fast track to saving me."

"Oh Ryan, you wouldn't!" Sharpay gasped, looking at her brother's reflection disapprovingly.

"Wouldn't what?"

"Wouldn't play her to lay her?" She said, raising her eyebrow suggestively. "Trick her to prick her? Impersonate to copulate? Try your luck to get a–"

"You're implying that I'd allow her to think that I'm gay just so that she'll sleep with me, aren't you?" Ryan asked in mock disbelief.

Just then the sound of the Evans' doorbell could be heard resonating throughout the immense mansion. "Shit, that'll be Troy," Sharpay whispered to herself before turning to face Ryan accusingly, ignoring the doorbell. "Anyway, yes that's exactly what I'm implying."

"Well, you just might be right, then," Ryan said with a conspiratorial grin as he got off of Sharpays bed and approached her at the mirror. Attempting to flatten the fabric that Sharpay had wrinkled, he asked, "So, you've given Troy another chance? How many does that make? Forty-seven?"

"Shut up!" Sharpay exclaimed, playfully slapping him on the shoulder. "This is his last chance."

"What was the excuse this time?"

"Oh, I don't know. Some crap about Jack, you know that really dumb federal agent I told you about, kidnapping him. Then he went off on some rant about Zeke. I think they might have gotten in a fight."

"Troy and Zeke?"

"Maybe they just jump right onto your hips."

"Oh, come on," Ryan sighed exasperatedly. "There's a time for staring into the mirror and hating yourself. And that time is tomorrow morning, now lets go!" Grabbing her hand, Ryan dragged Sharpay out of her room, through the house and into the entrance hall. He yanked the front door open to reveal a well-dressed, nervous looking Troy staring at his shuffling feet on the front porch.

"Sharpay," Troy gasped, looking up at the sound of the front door finally opening.

"Troy," she sighed in response.

Looking back and forth between the two, Ryan waited for any intelligent conversation to ensue but was only faced with enraptured silence. With a snort of laughter, Ryan said in a voice purposefully too loud, "I'll just leave you two love-idiots here. I have a coffee to get."

Neither Troy nor Sharpay responded. They just continued to stare at each other with euphoric grins on their faces. Ryan shook his head in incredulity and jogged over to his car. One more second with those two and he'd have lost his lunch.


Grabbing his coffee from beneath the ornamental hanging light at the bar, Ryan glanced around the small coffee shop for a seat. It was surprisingly full for this late in the evening. The only seats available were in the middle of the café, dangerously close to a group of black-clad men who were violently fighting in hushed tones. Seeing as this was his only option, Ryan shuffled through the mess of occupied tables and chairs to reach the last free surface. He sat for a couple minutes, contentedly sipping his latté and listening to the hum of conversation taking place all around him when realization finally dawned.

Hastily pulling out his phone, Ryan punched in Gabriella's phone number and waited for her to answer.

"Hello?"

"Gabby, hi! Sorry, you meant a coffee together, didn't you?"

"Pretty much, yeah."


After giving the arguing men a strange look, Gabriella plopped into the seat next to Ryan with an excited grin on her face. "I'm glad you called when you did," she said. "My pussy got caught in the bath tub. She's soaking wet!"

Ryan snorted into his coffee.

Suddenly realizing what she'd just implied, Gabriella's face flushed bright red as she stammered, "I mean – I didn't mean – I mean – Oh God!" She dropped her head onto the table, completely mortified. "What is the matter with me? I'm pretty sure I used to have the ability to think!"

Ryan laughed, amused. "Thinking's overrated. You know, Gabby, many plants don't think. Have you ever considered that?"

"Why can't I talk normally to people?" she continued moaning, her voice muffled from her face still being pressed firmly into the table.

"You used to talk to Troy all the time," Ryan kindly reminded her.

Gabriella lifted her head to reply, "That was easy, though. I wasn't trying to sleep with him." It only took her a second before, "Oh my gosh!" and her head was back on the table.

"What, you can't talk to someone if you want to have sex with them?" He asked, having trouble comprehending her situation. "I could still talk to you, even if I wanted to have sex with you."

"Wait, many plants?" Gabriella asked, sitting up straight, again. Her mind was just now catching up to what Ryan had previously stated.

"What?"

"Many plants don't think?"

"That is what I said, yes."

"Ryan, no plants think," she said with a victorious smile.

"Yet they have their own wisdom," he replied without skipping a beat. His voice was very serious and his eyes were wide, revealing his sincerity on the topic.

"What wisdom?"

"The wisdom of plants. It's very deep; very spiritual. It's so typically," Ryan paused and looked off into the distance, trying to think of an appropriate word. "So typically planty," was what he finally came up with.

"You're making this up!"

"No I'm not! It's a philosophy. I follow a lot of philosophies. It's one of the most interesting things about me, actually."

"So you follow the philosophy of plants?" Gabriella asked, the disbelief plainly evident in her voice.

"I am a committed vegetarian, yes." Ryan replied, still as serious as when he'd begun.

"Ok, let me get this straight. You believe in the wisdom and philosophy of plants."

"Yes."

"So you eat them."

Ryan held her gaze, processing what she'd just said. "Alright, let me get this straight," he challenged. "You're a heterosexual woman."

"Mm-hm."

"But you can't talk to men."

Gabriella's mouth fell open but she quickly recovered. Smiling, she said rhetorically, "Looks like we both got one in, didn't we?"


Ryan slowly pulled into Gabriella's driveway. She had walked to the coffee shop since it was just around the corner, but the two had ended up talking for hours and it was now dark outside. Ryan, being the gentlemen that he was raised to be, refused to let Gabriella walk home. Putting the car in park, he didn't bother to turn off the ignition as he expected Gabriella to just get out of the car right then.

It was for this reason that he didn't notice her leaning towards him, lips awkwardly puckered, instead of gathering her belongings and leaving. He looked over to see what the hold-up was and caught her just as she was attempting to close the last few inches. Reacting out of pure instinct, Ryan put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back. With this contact, Gabriella opened her eyes, fixing Ryan with a perplexed expression.

"Gabby," Ryan said softly. "I think there has been a misunderstanding. This isn't a date."

Gabriella giggled, "There has been a misunderstanding!" she exclaimed. "This is a date!" Licking her lips, she took Ryan's momentary befuddlement as her opportunity. Closing her eyes, she leaned in once more. Ryan pushed her back more firmly this time and said fervently, "Good night, Gabby."

Disappointed, Gabriella glared at Ryan before abruptly grabbing her purse, getting out of the car and slamming the door as hard as her small arms would allow her.


Ryan stepped through his front door, expecting the house to be empty. His parents were out of town and Sharpay was on her much anticipated date, surely. So why was the kitchen light on? Stepping through the doorway, Ryan was surprised to find Sharpay leaning on the kitchen counter, eating chocolate ice-cream straight from the carton.

"Oh no, what did he do?"

"What didn't he do, more like." Sharpay replied flatly while holding out a spoon to Ryan.

Ryan immediately grabbed the spoon from Sharpay's hand and settled himself on the opposite side of the counter. Scooping a large mouthful of ice-cream, Ryan commanded, "Tell."


Troy and Sharpay remained on the front porch just smiling at each other. It wasn't until Sharpay heard Ryan's car accelerate out of the driveway that she realized they weren't saying anything. Clearing her throat, she motioned for Troy to come in. Closing the door behind her, she smiled shyly up at him and quietly asked "Do you want the grand tour?"

"Uh, sure, yeah."

Sharpay led Troy through all the interesting rooms, the entertainment room, the kitchen. She passed by her parents' quarters without going in, both because she was forbidden to enter and because there was nothing interesting to show. Instead, she headed up the stairs, opening a white door and entering into a brightly lit pink room furnished with whitewash fittings. "And this is my room," she concluded, crossing her arms around her body, giving away her modicum of nerves fluttering in her stomach.

Troy glanced around the room, taking in his surroundings. There wasn't much in the room that surprised him. The pink was to be expected, it was bright, matching her personality. As he finished his short circuit around the room, his gaze fell onto her bed. The sheets were wrinkled, as though somebody had been laying there and hadn't tidied up afterwards. Suddenly, it was as though his mind fixated on those wrinkled sheets. He couldn't look away and his brain couldn't stop picturing things. Things he shouldn't yet be picturing. At least not with Sharpay standing right there.

"We're not having sex," she abruptly blurted out, effectively breaking through his trance.

Finally looking up from the bed, Troy chuckled uncomfortably and replied meekly, "I wasn't expecting us to."

Sharpay's eyes narrowed and her arms unwrapped from around her waste. Her fists landed on her hips, all previous diffidence forgotten as she barked out, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Troy was shocked by her reaction. "I didn't mean – It's just – you don't even know if you're a virgin or not. Don't you think you should wait till your memory catches up with you?"

Sharpay scoffed, "How do you know whether I know or not?"

"Huh?"

"I haven't told you every memory that's come back, you know. And while we're on the topic of virgins, I think the one we should be concerned about here is you."

"I'm not a virgin! My first time was at the ski resort last winter." He proudly defended himself.

"Gabby?!"

"NO! Of course not. It was with this woman wh–

"Woman?" Sharpay interrupted with a disdained snort of laughter.

"Yes, woman." Troy repeated, furrowing his eyebrows in resentment and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh my god, she was really old, wasn't she?"

"She was not really old. Just...experienced."

"Oh my god, you did an old woman!" Sharpay continued laughing, which worked to anger Troy that much more.

"At least she knew what she was doing!" he bolstered.

"Because you didn't!"

"And, at least I can still remember!" Troy yelled, giving Sharpay a critical glare.

"Hey! I already told you–"

"I think you're bluffing." He stated simply.

"Yeah?" Sharpay fumed.

"Yeah."

"Alright!" She snapped in a businesslike tone. "Get on that bed."

"What?" Troy asked, dropping his hands to the side, along with his facade.

"You heard me," She snapped as she grabbed her dress and pulled it off in one swift motion. Approaching the bed, Sharpay reached down to undo Troy's pant's zipper as he stared, transfixed, at her breasts.


"Well?" Ryan prompted as Sharpay had decided to stop at this point to get lost in thought.

"Well, nothing." She replied simply.

"I don't understand."

"I got his pants off, we both look down and..."

"And?"

"Nothing's looking back."

Ryans mouth dropped open. "No!"

"Yes!"

"Wow."

"I know! That wasn't supposed to happen! It's like a chain of command thing. I'm naked, he salutes."

"So what did you do?"

"Well, first I took a shower. To clear my head and give him some space. Then we talked..."


Sharpay came out of her bathroom wearing a bathrobe and squeezing the water out of her hair with a towel. Troy was sitting, dazed, on Sharpay's bed.

"You ok?" She asked softly, sitting next to him on the bed.

"Ya – yeah, sure," he replied uncomfortably.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"N-no, no, no, no, no."

"It might help to talk," she insisted.

"No." he repeated in a flat tone.

"You know, all men have failures from time to time."

"Oh, please stop, you're just making it worse!"

"I hope you aren't afraid to talk about your emotions with me. You've got to focus on yourself, on what's inside you right now. This is about you, Troy."

"Ok, ok. We'll talk." He reluctantly conceded.

"Right, then. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?" Sharpay asked anxiously.

"Oh please," he moaned. "You only have to lie down naked. How wrong could you go?"

"Alright, let's just focus on what's important here. If you have deep personal anxieties, you have to confront them. It's my hips, isn't it?"

"No, no, no. It's not your hips. It's got nothing to do with you. I'm just...stressed."


"It's not such a big deal, you know. You don't have to take it personally." Ryan said, trying lamely to consol his sister.

"How can I not take it personally? He's supposed to be madly in love with me! He said so himself."

"Sharpay, it's just a one-off. It happens to everybody."

"Has it happened to you?" She asked, suddenly more interested in what Ryan had to say.

"Well," he stammered. "No, actually. But I'm sure it will!"

"What? Not at all? Not even once? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I mean, there was this really ugly girl, once–"

"Oh, I see. What you mean is, because you failed with this girl you now say she was ugly. That's denial, Ryan. Tiny bit of a problem there, I think."

Ryan chuckled to himself, shaking his head patiently, "One, she really was nasty. And two, who said I failed?"

Sharpay sighed, dropping her head in her hand in a defeated manner. "Do you think I just passed on to a whole new level and have actually become repulsive?"

Ryan laughed. "You're just panicking. You're going to be fine. Did you ever think that maybe he actually is stressed? And that that's it. Maybe it has something to do with his fight with Zeke," Ryan suggested.

Sharpay was about to dismiss the suggestion when, after having thought it over, her face brightened enthusiastically, "Maybe it was the fight! Oh, that would be such a relief!"


Back in the abandoned cabin located in the Country Clubs five acre park, three black clad men and Zeke were huddled around a small speaker that was connected by an intricate set of wiring to a computer. They were listening as the sound of voices broke through the white noise.

'Maybe it has something to do with his fight with Zeke,'

'Maybe it was the fight! Oh, that would be such a relief!'

Turning the sound off, an overly hairy, gangly looking man turned questioningly to Zeke. "Did you have a falling out with this Troy boy? Because I thought you were supposed to be doing everything in your power to get in good with that group." He asked menacingly.

Zeke's face was furrowed in concentration. "But we didn't have a fight. I have no idea what they are referring to. Unless they know."

Without warning, the back of the first mans' hand found itself smacking against Zeke's cheek. Crying out in pain, Zeke stumbled to the floor from the impact of the hit. "How could they have possibly found out?" the first man growled.

Setting his face in a fierce glare, Zeke was using all his will to hide the pain. In a flat voice, he replied "I don't know. But I'll find out."


I don't really have much to say about this chapter. I know, it's a first. I wrote it a little different than I normally write. A lot more dialogue, a lot less description. I also accidentally stole a lot more than just inspiration this time. Trust me, I'm not that clever. In any case, tell me what you think.

As always, remember to Review!