Larry finally regained control of his body when he noticed water coming in through the door.
"Okay, first I have to steal a coat to talk to my best friend, then my best friend says he doesn't wanna be my best friend, then we become best friends who can't do the 'I'm flying!' thing, then we get chased by a freak with a taser, then I can't even do anything fun with my best friend in a car, then a torpedo hits us, I get arrested for supposedly stealing a coat and a necklace that was planted on me, then I get locked in this hellhole with a freak with a taser, then he tases me, and now I'm gonna die. What a wonderful day I'm having!" he cried to himself as he stood on a desk to keep from getting his feet wet.
…
Okay, I've gone through corridor B, then A, then B, then A, followed the stairs, now where's the left?
Miles was knee-high in water trying to figure out the directions that Adrian had given him. He had gone up and down the hallway trying to figure it out when finally he decides to just give a shout.
"Larry!"
Larry picked his drooping head up when he heard the voice. "MILES!"
Miles snapped his head in the direction of his own name. "LARRY!"
"I'M IN HERE! WHOOOOOO!"
Miles ran down the hall and took a left, then an immediate right and found a room labeled room B and entered it, followed by hallway A, and finally the room labeled 'Star.'
He found Larry handcuffed to the pipe while standing on a desk. He licked his lips greedily at the sight. Larry felt himself turn red.
"Um, Miles? Now's not the time for that kind of thing, okay?"
"Oh, right. Was there a key of some sort?"
"Manfred took it. And he framed me for stealing that necklace!"
"I know! Okay, how do we get you out of this then?"
Larry was too panicked to think about anything at the moment, but Miles had an idea.
"It's easier to make a hole than it is to make a pole."
"Miles, now's not the time to educate me about your sex change!"
"No, really, just watch!"
He got on the pipe and started dancing with it, twirling on it and swinging his legs around it, striking all sorts of sexy poses as he did so. He flipped upside-down on it and finally the pipe gave way, allowing Larry to come free.
"Okay, what was that?"
"Pole dancing. Poles like it when girls dance on them, but if it's a guy, they just would rather die."
"But I'm still handcuffed."
Miles looked around the room when something silver glinted on the ground. He picked it up.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he said as he held up the shiny object.
"The key was on floor… NEXT TO ME?!"
"Oh well, at least you got a nice show out of it."
"Yeah, I got to see your ability to break poles in half by straddling it. What a great talent."
Larry's wrists were finally free from their metallic prison.
Miles gained 357 experience points. Larry gains 4 experience points. Miles learned a new skill: Pole Dancing. Larry gains nothing.
"How you were born a man… I'll never know."
"Why I was born a man… well, this might be just the reason I'm looking for."
"I'm glad we're best friends."
"We can become more than just best friends, if you like."
Larry smiled. "Sure! But first, the water's getting kinda high."
By this time the water was waist level in the room, and the two barely made their way up to where the other third class passengers were.
…
"He's not on the starboard side either, sir."
Manfred had spent the past few minutes searching for Miles and returned to the suite where Phoenix was gathering up some extra cash and the Magatama from the safe. Phoenix wasn't happy with the results.
"We're running out of time! Are there any lifeboats still available?"
"There should be some near the front."
Phoenix stuck a wad of bills in his pocket.
"I know how to get around."
"Me, too." Manfred responded with a flash of a shiny gun under his coat. The two men laughed heartily on their way back to the top of the ship where they found Chief Officer Franziska.
"I believe we have a business deal, Officer," he said as he shoved the wad of bills into Franziska's uniform pocket. She stared at the money, then at Phoenix as he walked away with his guard.
"I've paid my whore," he said to Manfred as he went off to find Miles.
…
Larry and Miles were stuck behind a series of gates in the steerage section of the ship, crowding around the gates with all the other third class members. They met up with Will and Gumshoe and together the three men charged the gates using Larry's head as a ram.
"Ow… maybe we could've used that brat with the samurai sword instead? It would've hurt less," Larry said as he rubbed the sore spot on his head. The four men passed by Third Officer Jean Armstrong, the man that had arrested Larry only minutes before. He was running in and out of rooms grabbing people out of them and running back to the top deck, throwing them off the ship.
"Let me go!" an elderly man with a bright red nose screamed as he was carried off.
"Oh, no, monsieur, I cannot do zat! You must leave ze ship immediately!" Jean said as he tossed the helpless old man over the railing and into the water. The four said nothing and ran off to find more life boats.
…
"Anyone else on the lifeboat?!" Franziska yelled as loud as she could. Phoenix was standing nearby when Manfred popped in front of him.
"He's on the other side… with him."
Phoenix was about to blow his top.
"Anyone else?" Franziska asked the question directly at Phoenix, who only stared back at her. "Prepare to lower, then!"
"Dammit… I have to get him back," Phoenix muttered as he crossed the ship. As Franziska was about to lower the lifeboat, a cowardly Gant quickly hopped in and took a seat without saying anything. Franziska chose not to say anything and allowed the boat to lower.
…
"Get on the boat, Miles."
"No Larry, not without you."
Larry and Miles finally found a boat for Miles to escape on, but Miles refused to go.
"But I—"
"Get on the boat, Miles," Phoenix said as he appeared before the frightened man. "Look at you, you'll catch your death out here," he said as he placed his outer coat onto Miles' shivering shoulders. Miles turned back to Larry.
"Larry, you're my best friend! I can't—"
"I made a deal with one of the officers. Larry and I both have a boat to catch," Phoenix interjected. Larry turned to Miles.
"See? I'll be okay, now get on."
Just as Miles was about to protest, he was grabbed by an officer from behind and placed in the boat.
"Come on, miss, get in the boat," Second Officer Mike Meekins said as he stuffed Miles onto the boat. Miles watched on as the boat was carefully lowered into the water. He looked up at Larry, who became farther and farther away with each second.
"There is no deal, is there?" Larry asked the rich man.
"Oh, there is. I've paid my whore, Larry, something you can never do."
The man in the cravat looked around him, seeing tearful faces wherever he looked. He saw Mike Meekins shouting orders to the crew above to lower the boat. And then he looked up at Larry, whose goofy smile filled him with pain. Would he ever see that smile again?
Miles continued to watch Larry as a flare was launched into the sky, filling the background with bright sparklers around the man of his dreams.
I won't get the sexy party I've always dreamed about if you're not there…
He made up his mind and jumped off the boat back onto the dying ship.
"MILES!" Larry screamed and headed to the lower deck. The two met at one of the top levels of the grand staircase and had the biggest make-out session ever allowed on paper.
"You're such an asshole, you know that?" Larry said to him between kisses. "I'm trying to save your life, and you freakin' reject it?"
"I couldn't do it! I couldn't leave my best friend!" Miles said as tears rolled down his cheeks. At the top of the staircase Phoenix watched as his whore went off with the other man. Manfred tried to pull him away, but at the last second Phoenix grabbed his shiny gun and took aim. Miles saw the glimmer of silver and realized what it was.
"Larry, run!" he cried as he whisked his friend off away from the danger before them. Phoenix took a shot but missed, causing a chaotic scene at the grand staircase. The two men ran into a flooded dining room while Phoenix jumped off the top of the stairs onto the lower level and took another shot. Another miss. He fired more shots, each of them missing and continued to chase after them until he was waist deep in water. Finally the gun ran out of bullets, and he gave a loud scream that rang out through the ship.
"I hope you have fun sexing each other up!" he screamed his final sentence at them as he turned to leave. Manfred was waiting for him by the entrance of the dining room, waiting for his master to calm down when Phoenix broke out in laughter.
"I don't think sexing people up is very funny," Manfred said, but Phoenix waved him away. "I put the Magatama in the coat… and he's wearing the coat. I've lost everything in one go!"
