Thanks for the reviews :)
Disclaimer remains the same, I don't own anything or anyone...
I know I suck for not updating sooner, and this chapter, like me, sucks... But I had to submit it before I decided to delete it like I did with the previous 7 attempts (no joke). So don't expect too much from this chapter ;) but i hope to be updating soon.
Chapter 3:
Sara's POV
I hate hospitals, I always have. Ever since I was a child and visited the places every month with another broken bone I've disliked them. They smell awful, the food is awful, everything about them is awful. And I'm just so unbelievably bored.
I let my mind wander to my 'situation'.
Problem 1: Grissom.
He's the guy I always thought I wanted. Now I have him, and I realise he isn't what I wanted at all. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. I suck. I truly suck. When I get out of here, I'm going to have to end it. I know it'll break his heart, and work will be awkward, but I can't live a lie. Not with him. I couldn't do it to him, I respect him too much for that. And I guess if this whole ordeal has taught me anything, it's to live life as if every day is your last, or at least understand that every day could be your last. That's why I need to finish with him, I need to be happy, to have a chance at real love one day. Which brings me on to my second problem.
Catherine.
She still hasn't been to see me, which hurts, but I know if she did, I'd still be so happy to see her. She must hate me, if she's not even bothered to visit me after I nearly died. But since the last time I saw her, things have changed slightly, I mean she was the one who saved my life. I'd have given up were it not for knowing I could have the chance to see her again. So, even if she does hate me, I'm going to prove her wrong, I'm a good friend to have, a good person. Hell, I'd be a good lover, but I don't think she'd like that.
My life sucks. Sure it's better now than it was under the car, but still, it sucks. Why do I have to realise I'm falling for Catherine now, after I finally got Grissom. Why not before? Better idea, why not never?! She's so unobtainable it's stupid. She's beautiful, intelligent, and totally straight. Did I mention I suck?!
I really need to get out of this hospital. I hope that they'll release me soon…
On second thoughts, I'm not sure if I'd rather stay here than go back to Grissom's and pretend everything is hunky-dory, I actually think I'd squirm if he tried to touch me. I feel sick just thinking about it.
I sigh as I realise that thinking about it actually isn't helping me.
Catherine's POV.
I've just arrived at the hospital, I said I'd come and visit her today, so here I am.
The problem is, my legs don't seem to want to walk any further. My hands don't want to knock on her door.
I stand outside for about ten minutes, contemplating what to say to her. I can't just go in and say 'Hey Sara, how ya doin? Sorry I haven't been to see you, more important things to be doing…' Yeh right… More like I'm too scared because of how I feel, and how jealousy burns through me when I think that he has you, he can touch you, make love to you. He's supposed to be my best friend; but I swear I could kill him right now…
Why did I have to fall for her now? Why not before? When she wasn't with him. Or even better, why not never?! I suppose, if she'd never been taken by the minature killer, I suppose these deep feelings I have for her may never have come to the forefront, and I'd be even more confused about my jealousy. If I could turn back time, I'd have started out being friends with her, not arguing and countering everything she does. I bet she thinks I hate her. And to top it off, I haven't even been to see her yet. I am such an idiot.
Just as I'm starting to beat myself up even more, I hear a huge sigh come from Sara's room, so I decide to take the plunge, and face her…
Dear Lord help me now, I don't know what to say, I hope she doesn't hate me….
I knock, open the door, take a deep breath and smile:
"Hey Sara."
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