Disclaimer: Yet again I do not own The Rocky Horror Picture Show or Shock Treatment. I still only wish I did. It all belongs to Richard O'Brien. Except for things and characters I make up I guess
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Living with Columbia was no picnic. She talked non-stop, at a speed Janet couldn't keep up with. She tapped danced and sung when she was bored. She cried loudly if the slightest referance to Eddie or Frank came up. She never tided up after herself, leaving her mess all over the apartment, clearly still not used to not having Magenta around. She was lazy and so didn't have a job, not helping out to pay the bills. She begged to come along to every show Janet did, coming back stage and annoying the other performers. She even tried to get her own spot performing, eagerly auditioning for Donald on the stage.
"Okay okay sweetheart! You can stop now!" Donald shouted as Columbia's high pitched singing voice caused serval glasses to tremble and her stomping around was threatening to break a whole in the stage.
"How did I do? Have a I got the job?" Columbia asked.
"Well ... you're certainly talented, put it that way" Donald said.
"And?" Columbia pressed on.
"You're not really what we're looking for" Donald said.
"And?" Columbia repeated, clearly not understanding.
"Columbia he means you didn't get the job!" Janet cried exasperated.
"Oh ... but why?" Columbia asked.
"You're not out style. Try kids parties, eh?" Donald suggested.
Columbia stomped her tap shoe lad foot and clutched her hair. She screamed, causing everyone to jump. Janet quickly walked onto the stage and dragged her away.
"You're embarassing your self!" She hissed.
"But did you hear what he said to me? Kids parties! Ha, I'll show him..." Columbia muttered to herself, "What do you see in him Jan?"
"He's a nice guy, but back there he was doing his job. He can't help it. What do you expect from a serious business man?" Janet replied.
"Ah, well. There must be other clubs in town. Better ones even" Columbia shrugged, acting as though she hadn't just pulled a big tantrum.
"That's the spirit. I think Donald wants me to stay and have a drink with him for a bit. Why don't you go and look around for a job?" Janet encouraged.
"I'd much rather stay with you. I want to get to know this Donald, if he's such the nice guy you say he is" Columbia said.
Janet pulled a tight smile, unable to argue. Columbia trotted along as Janet made her way back over to Donald. He smiled as he saw her - until he saw Columbia at her side. Janet smiled, feeling awkward.
"I was wondering if you fancied a drink?" She offered.
"Sure ... same as last time?" Donald asked, Janet nodded, "And what about you Chloe?"
"Columbia! And something fizzy for me please" Columbia replied, taking a seat at the table.
"I'll be right back" Donald said as he went to retrieve the drinks.
"Try not to mention our past" Janet said when he was out of ear shot.
"Oh don't worry. Its all long gone" Columbia said, waving her hands behind her to gesture.
"Thanks. I just don't want anything to go wrong. I really like Donald" Janet explained.
"If you really like him then shouldn't he know about it all?" Columbia asked.
"No, definitely not" Janet disagreed, shaking her head firmly.
Donald returned, clutching a tray of drinks. He passed them around and took a seat.
"I'm sorry about having to reject you, Columbo" Donald appologised.
"Its Co-lum-bi-a" Columbia replied tightly.
"Thats what I said. Anyway, as long as you're okay with it all now?" Donald said.
"Tell me, Donald" Columbia said, skimming round the rim of her glass with her finger, "What do you think about transvestites?" She asked.
Janet nearly spat out her drink. Donald went bright red.
"Well, I-" Donald was cut off by Janet.
"Columbia!" She hissed. Columbia ignored her.
"And delivery boys?" She asked.
"They're-" Donald was cut off this time by Columbia.
"I dated a transvestite once, and a delivery boy. But they're dead - I had to eat one of them ya'know, Jan did too" Columbia said. Donald looked confused.
"What is she going on about?" He asked.
"She hasn't took her medication yet. Maybe we should get going..." Janet suggested. She quickly dragged Columbia out of her seat.
"Have you told him the story of how you realised you had a voice Jan? Its quite interesting really..." Columbia said.
Janet was surprised she didn't rip the girls arm off with the amount of force she took pulling her away. Columbia was insistent on carrying on with her stories, shouting them now as she was took further away from a bemused Donald. Janet threw her against the wall as soon as they got outside, not caring who was watching.
"I told you not to say anything! What do you think you're doing?" She yelled.
Columbia burst into tears. An embarrassed Janet hailed a cab and pushed Columbia inside, getting in after her. When she had calmed down, Columbia spoke.
"I don't know! I think I'm finally starting to go insane ... I just can't handle everything. Dr. Scott said there might be some side effects, he wanted me to stay on with him so he could keep an eye on me but I wanted to be free! I need help Janet" She said.
"We have to go to Dr. Scott's" Janet said.
"Everett Von Scott's place?" The taxi driver asked, suprising both his female passengers.
"Yes ... you know him?" Janet asked.
"Of course, he taught me you kn- hey! You're Janet Weiss!" The driver cried.
"I'm sorry I don't..." Janet said.
"Buddy Diamond? I was in your grade all the way through school since kindergarten! You and that Brad Majors were an item, so were your two pals Ralph Hapschatt and Betty Monroe. How you all doin'?" Buddy asked.
"Ralph and Betty were married, but I haven't spoke to them in a long while. Me and Brad ... we were engaged but we're seperated now" Janet explained.
"Ah that's a darn shame! You don't remember me do yer?" Buddy chuckled.
"No. But I'm sure I'll have some sort of memory later ... well here we are, thanks for the drive!" Janet quickly got out of the cab before Buddy could say anything else, or Columbia could start her stories again.
Infact Janet didremember Buddy Diamond. He was a revolting boy, the class clown from a family of hill billie's living in a trailer park. He had always chose Janet as his target for pranks; on graduation day he had messed with her speech, thinking it hilarious. He had also had a crush on Betty and hated Ralph, a good looking guy from a well off family. Janet hoped she would never take a ride in his cab again.
Dr. Scott's house was on the edge of the woods, almost out of Denton. Janet and Brad had meant to arrive at this destination just five years ago, instead they turned up at the old Frankenstine place where all the mayhem had started.
It was a nice house, like a lodge, made from stern grey bricks with clumps of tree's surrounding the area. Janet hesitantly walked up the neat path and knocked on the door. There was no reply after five minutes.
"Oh well, I'll guess we'll just have to turn back..." Janet sighed.
"Wait! His cars still in the drive, and there's smoke coming out of the chimney!" Columbia pointed out.
"How observant of you. And his curtains are shut ... do you think he's alright?" Janet wondered.
"Lets go see!" Columbia suggested, pulling down on the door handle and striding into the house as if it were her own.
"Hello? Anyone home?" Janet called. No reply.
The door to one of the rooms was open a few centimetre's. Sounds could be heard from inside and a light shone through the gap. Columbia had no problem opening that one either.
Dr. Scott was indeed inside, sat on a thread bare sofa. A young woman with long curled black hair and tanned skin was sat on his lap. They were evidently kissing. They turned to see who had interuped them.
"Janet!" Dr. Scott cried.
"Dr. Scott!" Janet cried back.
"Columbia!" The maid cried.
"Conchita!" Columbia gasped.
"Janet!" Dr. Scott cried.
"Dr. Scott!" Janet cried back.
"Columbia!" The maid cried.
"Conchita!" Columbia gasped.
"Janet!" Dr. Scott cried.
"Dr. Scott!" Janet cried back.
"Columbia!" The maid cried.
"Conchita!" Columbia gasped.
"What is the meaning of this?" Dr. Scott shouted.
"Columbia! I thought I'd never see you again" Conchita exclaimed.
Standing up they saw she was dressed in a maids outfit, quite like Magenta's old uniform - only tidier and much more revealing. Janet looked between her and Columbia.
"How do you...?" She asked.
"Conchita tried out as maid for Frank when Magenta was ill once. She was only at the castle for three days though. I'd say we made quite good friends, eh Chita?" Columbia asked.
"I'm Dr. Scott's maid now" Conchita said.
"And his lover by the looks of it..." Janet said quietly.
"That is none of your business! What do you want?" Dr. Scott asked sternly.
"We think Columbia here is malfunctioning" Janet explained.
"I'll go and clean something..." Conchita mumbled, leaving the room.
"Yes, it was only a matter of time..." Dr. Scott said.
"What can you do?" Janet asked.
"Nothing" Dr. Scott shrugged plainly.
"There must be something!" Janet cried.
"No, there isn't. I've given up on my scientific research. Go to some body else with your problems!" Dr. Scott said, turning his back and pretending to be interested in his pocket watch.
"You can't give up on her! Who else is going to help?" Janet asked in despair.
"I'm sure I'll be okay..." Columbia said.
"Thanks for all your help - Dr. VON Scott!" Janet hissed.
She stormed from the house, Columbia tapping along behind her.
"We're walking back to the apartment. We're not risking another cab" Janet said.
At the apartment Janet started to call around for help. Columbia meanwhile switched on the TV and put her feet up with a bowl of cereal. She was certainly time warped. Janet was finally getting somewhere when a shriek from Columbia brought her rushing into the room, leaving the phone dangling from its wire on the kitchen wall.
"What? What is it?" Janet cried, looking around the room.
"Th-the..." Columbia couldn't seem to be able to get her words out, she pointed at the screen instead.
Janet sat and watched. It was the news channel, an odd choice for the cartoon loving Columbia. It showed a picture of Denton Woods, a replay of some event, even skimming past Dr. Scott's house. A beam suddenly flashed in a straight down as if from the heavens, then the area was obscured with smoke. When it cleared a huge house, a castle even, appeared - then disappeared into thin air again.
"Is that..." Janet whispered.
"It can't..." Columbia added.
"It is" Janet gasped.
