Ianto just had to end up with the only American, didn't he?
Silently cursing Gwen up and down, Ianto politely served the three "temps" - two teas and one coffee. He noticed that Gwen didn't have an temp - so while the remainder of Torchwood trained clueless nitwits, Gwen got off the hook? What if they accidentally set the whole building on fire? Run screaming away when they met the weavils? Or, even worse, mess with Myfanwy's special sauce?
If Jack came back to Torchwood alive, then Ianto was going to bloody murder him. If he didn't come back alive, Ianto was still going to murder him!
"Okay, you all know why you're here." Gwen said, with a look at Owen. He hadn't said anything to her all day, and he was pointedly ignoring them all. Ianto didn't feel the least bit sorry for Gwen. She deserved Owen's frosty attitude - it's not like she ever gave any of them a choice. If Jack was here...
"Now, remember, this is only a trial run. You'll be introduced to different scenarois, et cetera.
"Ianto, you'll be training Jared. Toshiko, you'll have Casey, and Owen...you'll have Braise."
"Lovely," Owen said with so much sencirity that only Toshiko, Gwen, and Ianto knew he was being as sarcastic as possible.
Ianto sighed. "What's first?"
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"You have a pet dragon?"
Ianto glanced behind him. "Ptdactidyll. She's not a pet, and it'd be best for your health if you don't treat her like one."
Ianto felt a tinge of guilt. Myfanwy did have her days when she was cranky, but she'd never intentionally harm some one. Ianto had hand raised her himself, she was a harmless as a puppy. Still, whether she was a pet or not, she deserved to be treated like a wild animal. Not some pet that you speak baby to.
Jared was an American trying to copy an Welsh accent. It wasn't working out too well for him, to be honest. Ianto would be greatly amused if he tried talking actual Welsh, not just the accent.
"So. What's the dragon's name?"
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"So, let me get this straight. You're a doctor?"
Owen sighed. "Yes. Hence the Doctor Owen Harper."
"And this is your laboratory?"
"No. This is my morgue." I knew I should've went for the mad scientist look...
"Oh, I see."
"Do you?"
"Yeah. You treat dead people. Cool."
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"How's this working out for you?" Owen mumbled to Ianto as they trotted briskly down the aisle of the warehouse. A Weevil alert had came in and the newbies were getting some hands-on training.
"Jared thinks Myfanwy is a dragon."
Owen winced. "Ouch. Enough said."
"How are things with you and Braise?" Ianto asked, sliding between two boxes. Owen followed behind, sliding his hand to his gun and drawing it. Ianto heard the click as he took it off safety.
"Hahaha. Not." Owen drawled sarcastically. "I think he's secretly hoping that I'm going to rise some one from the dead or something."
Ianto game him a sympathetic look in which Owen returned. "I think Tosh's doing pretty well with her temp, though."
"Always was a weird one, she." Owen replied. "Wait - what was that?"
Ianto listened, and then Owen and him were running. Ianto skidded and jumped on top of a metal box, and then hoisted Owen up by hand. "Y'know," Owen said, "Maybe this won't be too -"
BANG!
"OW! HE GOT ME! HE GOT ME!"
Owen and Ianto shared a look.
Some one hit the lights - Gwen presumably - and they were blinded by light. The first thing Ianto and Owen saw was Braise, rolling around on the ground with his eyes closed. His gun was in his hand. Also his foot.
"Oh for God's sake, he shot himself." Owen said, annoyed as he hoped off the box.
"I'm dying here and you have no compassion what so ever!" Braise shouted. "Call an ambulance!"
Gwen, Tosh, and Casey came running around the corner with their guns drawn out in front of them.
"Where's the weevil? And what the bloody hell happened to him?" Gwen nodded at Braise, who was now howling.
"The Weevil got me! He shot me!" Braise said, still howling.
"May I quote the Americans' for a moment?" Ianto asked politely. Then. "The Weevils are coming! The Weevils are coming!"
