Disclaimer: Blah, blah and thrice Blah! I only own this plot!
Saturday July 30th
11:47 pm
Back in the tent, cosily tucked into my sleeping bag. How I even managed to get back in here, in the dark of night, without causing myself any harm, well that is le mystery!
A larger mystery is, how in the name of our Lord Sandra did I end up snogging Dave the Laugh?! Dave the Laugh is my mate! Dave the Mate! That's it! Dave the Mate.
11:52 pm
Dave the nip libbler.
Shut up brain! Shut up, shut up!
Three minutes later
Rosie is having some sort of rolling fit in her sleep. I may have to duff her up a bit.
11:57 pm
A pillow to her head caused her to seize any more abrupt movements. Must get some beauty sleep. Zzzzzzzz…
Sunday July 31st
Morning
Woke up at the crack of seven-thirty am to the sound of Herr Kamyer banging some pots together I peeked out the flap and Miss Wilson was emerging from her tent in her nightie! Oh dear Gott in Himmel, how will I ever get that image out of my young and innocent mind?!
Jools and Rosie had awoken from the clatter, too. Rosie's beard was stuck to Jools' forehead, giving her the look of a very tragic unibrow. We crawled out of the tent flap. A few girls had begun to destroy their tents.
Yes, yes and thrice YES!! Back to civilization! Hurray! Three cheers for Merry England!
Five minutes later
We cannot take our tent down. It is vair, vair difficult.
One minute later
Rosie flung herself on top of the tent. She sort of bounced back up, than stumbled backwards.
Jazzy Spazzy came around and managed to take it down.
"Honestly, how can you not be able to take down a tent?"
I said, "I'm sorry Jas, but unlike you, I do not spend every minute of my free time camping with Hunky."
She turned a bit pink in the face and walked away. Some best-pally!
Waiting for the bus
8:23 am
Sitting on some large rocks. The bus was supposed to pick us up twenty-three minutes ago, but the driver got lost. This is understandable as we are in the middle of absolutely no where.
Jas nearly wet her knickers when Miss Wilson told us the horrible news.
She said "Now we've got even more time to search for more great-crested newts!"
I felt like shouting at her, but best-pallies do not do that. So I crossed my legs on top of the rock and sat quite silently. I imagined myself looking like some sort of Goddess. The sun was shining down on me; I tilted my chin up and closed my eyes. I felt very attractive.
"Gee? What on earth are you doing? Have you gone funny in the head? You look absolutely ridiculous!"
I opened my eyes to find Jas and the rest of the gang staring at me. Than, like clockwork, the good o'l bussy pulled up.
I stood up quite quickly, forgetting my legs were crossed and fell. I got up in a dignity at all times, sort of way.
"The bus to freedom!" I shouted. Hurray! Hurray and thrice HURRAY!
On the Bus to Freedom
9:00 am
Sitting with Ro-Ro. She is quite mad, to be honest. She's got her beard on and is stroking it.
"What did Dave the Laugh want last night?" She said.
Oh dear Gott in Himmel! I had forgotten about the Snogging-fandango.
I said "Erm… Well, you see…" I was turning Ellen. Hopefully she wont be upset if I replace her as the Dithering Queen.
I think she'd be more upset to find out mine and Dave's snog session. Shut up brain! Shut up!!
"Gee?" Rosie was sounding a bit serious. Quite frightening coming from her. "What happened?"
9:15 am
I told her. I told her all about my red-bottomosity. She nodded, which normally would've made any other person look wise. But Rosie had a beard on.
"I thought you were eschewing your red-bottomosity with a firm hand?"
I said "Yes, well that didn't work out."
She continued nodding, like some sort of nodding nod thing. With a beard.
10:00 am
Will this bus ride ever end? We've been driving for about a zillion years. Jas is sitting in front of Miss. Wilson, talking about her and Hunky's rambles.
Good grief.
Eight minutes later
Nauseating P. Green fell asleep, and some girls drew all over her face with some eyeliner. Quite tragic.
10:20 am
Beginning to see some familiar scenery! We're almost homeeee! Yippee!
Stalag 14
10:45 am
Herr Kamyer hurt his back lifting our luggage off the bus. Poor bloke.
Walking home
10:52 am
Rosie accidentally mentioned the Dave the Laugh scenario as we walked away from the fiery pit of hell (ie Stalag 14).
Jas looked very furious. She went all pink in the face and got all huffy.
She said, well actually shouted "Georgia Nicolson! You shameless vixen! How could you? To Massimo?!"
Rosie looked at me apologetically.
At home
11:00 am
It is nice to know nothing has changed. Mutti and Vati did not even notice I have arrived back home. They were sitting on the couch, snogging.
Erlack a pongoes!
"My" Bedroom
11:03 am
It's nice to be back at home. Well, not really. But is definitely beats being in the middle of nowhere in a tent. The phone rang, while I was looking through Mutti's latest Cosmo magazine.
It kept ringing. I got up and shouted "I guess I will just answer the telephone. Even though I am absolutely exhausted from my weekend in the wilderness. Even though my dear, loving Mutti and Vati are doing absolutely nothing…"
Mutti shouted "Thanks Gee!"
The things I do for my so-called family…
I picked up the phone.
"Centre for the Mad, how may I help you?"
"Georgia?"
Blimey O'Reilley's overly large pantaloons! It was Dave the Laugh!!
11:10 am
Dave is meeting me at the park in twenty minutes. Which means, very limited time to achieve full sex-kittenosity. I suppose I will go for the au naturelle look.
11:27 am
Foundation, eyeliner, mascara, lippy, blush and eye shadow applied. I look quite marvy, if I do say so myself.
11:30 am
Out the front door. On my way to the park. It's a lovely day to hang out with your mates, which is exactly what I am doing. I am hanging out with Dave, my mate.
In my bedroom
1:22 pm
What on in the name of our Lord Sandra have I gotten myself into?! I am a shameless vixen with a bright red bottom! And my hand is anything but firm! It is limper than a limp thing at a limp party!
I was casually sitting on the park bench waiting for Dave.
"Hello Gorgeous!" He said, from behind me.
I turned around. He really is quite groovy looking. In a matey-type of way. "Why hello, Dave".
He looked full of confusionosity at my formality. "I wanted to talk about last night…"
Oh damn.
I said, "Well, what do you mean? We were just hanging about, like two hanging things…"
"I meant what I said, Gee" He grabbed my hands quite quickly. I got a bit frightened and pulled them away. He took them again, much less speedy and said, "I love you."
I was a bit shocked. At one point, my mouth drooped open a bit.
"What? Why the hell are you staring at me like that? Can't get enough of my stunning good looks?" He laughed.
At this point I realized I must look like some sort of fish-type creature and shut my mouth.
He looked back at me, "Well sexy-kitty," He said "Now that you know how I truly feel about you, I guess I shall head off than…"
That's when it happened! That is when I put my lips onto his, and we snogged for all of England!!
After our snog fest (4, 5 and 6!), I told Dave I had to go and shine a pair of my shoes. He looked at me like I was bonkers, than kissed my cheek.
As I began walking off, I heard him call out "So, it's done with the Italian Stallion, than?"
I didn't respond. I didn't know the answer.
Mobiles give you cancer: Well, there it is! Don't forget to review & add to your alerts list! Updating soon!
