Yet another page of insanity! Four of these aren't mine, they're from some book

Enjoy...

Jedi Insaneness; Chapter Seven; Lightsaber Rant


EMBARRASSING THINGS THAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO YOU WHILE USING A LIGHTSABER...

You turn it on while holding it backwards.

You absentmindly cut a hole around your feet.

You make that sharp crackling noise with your mouth each time you clash it with your opponent's lightsaber—having forgotten that the noise happens naturally.

Your lightsaber sends out a humming frequency equal to the mating call for bees.

You try to use it as a flashlight and end up burning down your house.

Hit self in head.

Your boss might mistake it for a laser pointer and use it during a meeting, incinerating the charts and burning a hole through the wall.

You've given in to the Dark Side of the Force, so the beam is normally red. But you forget to replace the weak batteries in the thing, rendering it pink, and turning you into the laughingstock of the Empire.

You try to pull off a Look-at-me-I-can-flip-my-saber move and have it fly out of your hands.

You are a current jedi and have a light blue, purple, or green-colored lightsaber. And then a little girl comes up and asked if she could borrow your fairy wand for Halloween.

You forget to charge your saber one day and while expressing a dire threat to the enemy, have it die out on you.

You try to use it to cut your birthday cake, expecting the lightsaber to slice through the pastry as easily as it did Luke's hand. Instead, the cake vaporizes the instant the lightsaber touches it, à la Obi-Wan.

and finally...

You mistake it for a Popsicle.


Like it? Want more? Then review giving me ideas and alert please...

Thanks to all my great readers and reviewers, it's thanks to you all that I can keep writing! :)