A/N: Incredibly sincere apology for the wait at the end of the chapter….
Important So last round I told you that the 250th reviewer would get a role in Moments of Sanity. NOW… in order to make it more of a surprise. I have chosen a number… a number that only I shall know. Whoever's review is that number will receive the role in Moments of Sanity. So… everyone review… and hopefully yours will be the lucky review!
Chapter 10
Broken
Lucius Malfoy was many things. He was egotistical, cruel, vindictive, evil, prejudiced, sneaky, conniving, and murderous… to name a few.
But now… Lucius Malfoy was tired, angry, sick… and dying.
Lucius was a contradictory man by nature. He held nothing in higher esteem than purity of blood, yet for so long he had served a half-blood. His priority was to see the Malfoy line continue with prestige, but held almost as much hate for his own son as he did for Harry Potter. And now… He was pleased about his freedom, but livid with the price he had to pay to receive said freedom.
Lucius Malfoy, whose very life was defined by self-importance, hated the man he had become. Azkaban had stripped him of his influence, devastated the reputation of the Malfoy name, weakened his body, and marred his mind.
He'd taken his chance at escape and nearly lost his soul in the process, a soul that was almost nonexistent already. Now, he lay ragged and exhausted on the cold, hard earth beneath the swaying canopy of a large tree. A fierce breeze blew through causing the proud man to shiver like a child away from his mother's warmth. Deadened leaves drifted slowly from the tree above to join him on the parched and dying earth.
Lucius Malfoy, a man of fortune who prided himself above being above the filth of this earth, sat covered in a thin layer of dirt, and made a decision. If he had to die in such a wretched form, he'd be damned if he didn't take someone down with him.
And who better than the bratty boy who'd taken everything away from him, the boy who had twice put him in Azkaban… Harry Potter.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
May 19th, 1995
He's been caught. My father…he's been imprisoned in Azkaban. I saw Potter sneering at me in the hallway and wanted to physically remove his face. It's all because of Potter that my father is gone.
Now here comes the tricky part, although I find that my intense hate for the golden trio has only increased, a small part of me—very small—is somewhat relieved. It's not that I hate my father… I hate Lucius. Lucius is the man he becomes in the presence of his lord. And now…Lucius fucked up big time.
I'm relieved that Lucius in Azkaban because it means my mother is safe. She should have left him long ago…but she stayed with him because of the man he was capable of being—a man we both loved. Alas, it's been years since we last saw a playful smirk, a cheeky wink, or a genuine laugh from father.
The Dark Lord, however, is positively livid with Lucius and mother is worried that he had plans for revenge, plans that involve us. Well, the Dark Lord can try all he wants, but no one is ever laying a hand on my mother again.
Draco Xavier Malfoy
Hermione sighed and ran a shaky hand through her curls. She felt a swarm of pity in her gut and a part of her felt guilty.
She had never been one to read the last page of a book first, it was against her reading ethics, but she had done it… and with Draco Malfoy's diary no less. She laughed aloud as she imagined his reaction to her calling it a diary and determined to refer to it as a journal from now on… not that she would be revealing her possession of it anytime soon.
She felt oddly cruel as she read his words and understood his determination to protect his mother. He hadn't wanted anything to do with Voldemort or even Lucius. Now, she wasn't saying that Draco wasn't an asshole—he just wasn't a death eater asshole.
Try as she might, she couldn't seem to muster up much dislike towards him because you see…she knew how this story ended. He may have began writing in this journal as a self-centered, egotistical, cruel, hateful, bigoted prick—but he ended up broken.
She looked over at him then and let her eyes roam from his bare feet that were callused and slightly dirty to his wrinkled and torn clothing to the top of his dishelved hair.
She pondered his situation again and with pictures of one of his violent outbursts reeling through her mind, she tried desperately to reassess his condition.
Surely, he could just be misfortunate, or getting what he deserved, or even just have a bad day (or decade really). He had to be something, anything besides broken.
She tangled her hands in her hair, her breathing slightly labored. She looked at him again, and with a sharp intake of breath deduced that he was indeed broken.
She could feel the cold creep of change looming in the distance and grimaced because she knew everything between her and Draco had just changed.
She growled in frustration because now… she had to fix him.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
He was furious. He sat in his chair, shaking with rage, as he shuffled through file after file, trying to find some sort of clue—an inkling even—as to where Lucius Malfoy might have disappeared. In sheer frustration, he raked his fingernails over the back of his left hand, hissing at the pain, but enjoying it all the same. He needed the release. The anger was overwhelming and he was teetering on the verge of explosion.
"Mr. Potter?"
"WHAT?" He snapped.
"I'm sorry M-Mr. Potter. An owl just dropped this off for you."
He released a breath he'd been holding, "Fine Gray. Thanks." He grumbled as he snatched the letter.
Harry,
I'm terribly sorry about tonight. You had such a wonderful evening planned and I completely spoiled everything. I'll make it up to you somehow I promise.
Hermione
The weight on his chest loosened at the familiar orderly print. He was terrified that she would avoid him, at least now he knew that he hadn't completely scared her off.
He looked at the papers around him. He'd already been through them all twice and visited Azkaban three times. Perhaps he should retire for the night.
Hermione,
You know you are always forgiven. Don't worry…there will be more wonderful evenings ahead.
Love,
Harry
He rolled the parchment carefully and tied it with a small maroon ribbon, and sent it off with Hedwig.
"You'll be mine yet, Hermione." He whispered as he turned off the lights and left his office for the night.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Draco Malfoy was happy. Scratch that he was absolutely ecstatic.
Something had changed. He wasn't sure yet what exactly he was. But one thing he did know, he felt more like himself now than he'd felt in months. He'd actually been sane for a relatively long time and had enough energy to banter with Granger for a while, until the spell took over.
But even when the spell took over… it was different. The "outbursts" were much less violent and more like daydreaming.
He was actually half way aware of what he was doing. For instance now, he had turned his head and was looking softly at one Hermione Granger.
She was reading something, but his vision was slightly foggy, and he couldn't determine what exactly it was.
He felt a coldness run down his cheeks and realized that tears were streaming from his eyes. His torso slowly lifted and he found himself, legs folded in front of him, sitting and staring at Granger.
A spark of indignation burned inside him at the tears on his face. Malfoys don't—He didn't cry. Draco doesn't cry. Shame burned within him at the memory of the one occasion he'd cried, in that cursed bathroom with that crazy ghost.
At his anger the tears seemed to only increase, and his breath hitched, causing Hermione's eyes to snap up.
Her facial expression transformed from shock to confusion to pity and then to determination.
He fumed as she looked at him with pity. He didn't need her pity. But even as he despised her, he found his legs lifting him to a standing position and he moved slowly towards her.
He silently hoped that he would attack her in another violent outburst. It was about time that he attacked someone else instead of himself.
But in horror he watched as his hand reached for hers, and enveloped her small fingers between both of his large, scarred hands.
He watched as her eyes narrowed at the sight of their joined hands and then softened again as she met his face where tears were making a steady, heavy flow.
Draco was disgusted. Just what in the bloody hell was the spell making him do? He could take violent outbursts…but now he was going… soft?
He chuckled lightly at the confused expression on Granger's face and noticed with dismay that he actually let out a loud sob.
Granger finally spoke, "Ma- Draco?" She questioned quietly.
She gave a high-pitched squeak as He quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a tight hug.
She remained motionless and he hugged her to his body tightly. What was he doing? This was not the Draco Malfoy she knew.
She tensed as he buried his face in the hollow of her neck, but relaxed when she felt his tears soaking her skin. What in the world had brought this on?
This… was the exact opposite of Draco Malfoy.
Draco was trying everything he could to stop the flow of tears and force his body to move away from hers, but it seemed the harder he tried to get away, the closer they became.
With repulsion, he realized that the were melded together to the point that he couldn't tell where his body ended and hers began.
"Ssssh. It's okay, uh, Draco. I'm here. It's okay." She whispered lightly into his ear.
He was even more distressed to hear her attempts at comforting him as though they were…friends.
But surprisingly, her words served to calm his body. Relief flooded him, as his body pulled back from the hug.
It wasn't until he saw the shock in her eyes that he realized his hand was softly cupping her face.
He rigidly commanded his body to cease all contact with Hermione Granger, but in defiance his thumb traced lazily over her bottom lip.
His body was in complete rebellion of him. He hoped to merlin that Granger would snap out of it and push him away…but she just stood there, unmoving.
He mustered all the self control he could gain and concentrated on stepping backwards, on moving as far away as possible.
Hermione's breathing was ragged and her mind was reeling. She had absolutely no idea what was going on. She had always thought that she understood everything about Draco Malfoy. Egotistical. Bastard. There was never much more to know…but this…there was only one word to describe it… weird.
Her brown eyes met his gray and he began to slowly inch closer. Looking in his yes, she had to admit that he was indeed broken. And if this was how he needed her to fix it…then so be it.
Draco wanted to scream for himself to move away, for her to move away, for everything to just move away, but only found himself moving closer.
Closer.
Closer.
The shock and fear in her eyes mirrored his thoughts as ever so softly his lips met hers.
A/N: okay guys. I know you all probably hate me because it took so long to get this out. I've been incredibly busy with school and I feel awful it's taken me so long. I'm currently running sound for my University's production of hamlet and I'm basically spending about 15 to 17 hours a day in the theatre. But I made myself spend the only free time I've had this week, so I could get this out to you.
I wanted to make it much longer…but I'm running out of time before I have to head back to the theatre and I wanted to get it out to you today.
Again, I am great sorry.
REMINDER: I have chosen a number in my head….and whoever's review is that number gets to be a character in this fic. So include your name (or the name of the character you would like to have) and maybe a few things about yourself with your review.
Love, peace, and Potter,
SPG
