Yeah, so... I know I deserve to die right? Right?? Yeah. Okay, that's better. It's about time you killed me for my stupidity. Gah! I don't know what's wrong with me. But whatever it is, it is stupid to the extreme. If you haven't figured it out yet, this is my apology, for the lack of updates, for the shortness of this one, for how fillerish it is, for my gosh darn idiocy! There. I'm done. Enjoy? Maybe? Even if you hate me...?
Suze's Vantage Point
Don't get me wrong, I was still dying a little inside. But I surprised myself by waking up and not dissolving into a puddle of worthlessness. I could actually think coherently without sinking into useless thoughts of the other night. Thanks to Jackson Dax I could squeeze my Jesse problems into a small corner of my head and keep the rest of my mind clear. I knew how to help him... I didn't know how to help myself, so I forgot about my problems and focused on his. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to go—scratch that, first things first. I really needed a shower. When your own mother grimaces when she sees you, it's time to do a little clean up.
Ahhh, the beauties of modern technology. One shower, one blow dry styling, one make-up application, and one outfit (consisting of a black silk tee and jean shorts) later, and I was ready to go. I was going to go see Father Dominic. I couldn't help but think how lucky I was that I didn't have to work today. Seriously. I knew there was no way that I could babysit little kids in my mood right now. I mean, my heart was only slightly broken."Honey? Are you ready to come out of your room, Andy made eggs and bacon before he left. We saved you some." My mom is seriously great. She's busy, being a television reporter and all, yet she still finds time to make me feel better. I don't think I appreciate her enough some times.
"Yeah mom, I'm good. Eggs sound delicious." I replied and opened the door. She smiled, looking supremely relieved as I walked out not looking like a disaster. I felt guilty all the sudden, worrying my mom. She didn't deserve to be upset just because I was. So I hugged her mushily and gave her a quick 'I love you' before heading down the stairs. I tried not to think of what used to be my favourite moment of walking down these stairs... Tried not to think of my prom at all. Because what good would that do me?
"Are you going to be okay here all alone today? You can invite a friend over if you like." Mom said as she was about to go out the door to work. I smiled tentatively at her.
"Yeah mom, I'll be fine, I'm going to go see Father Dominic." She looked instantly relieved at my words, thinking I'm going to confession or something. I'm not Catholic like Andy and his three sons, but I'm probably the one who sees a priest the most. Mom thinks it's this that has turned my life around. She was always awkward around me in New York, wondering why I wasn't the social butterfly she had been in highschool. When we'd moved here to California, I'd become strangely popular all of the sudden. I knew she was pleased about that, but I don't think it was Father D.'s influence that had sparked my sudden extroversion. Actually, I have no idea what it was, but I digress.
A little less than twenty minutes later had me walking in the hot sun towards the promise of Mr. Dax's eternal R&R, or next life, or whatever. I was sweating by the time I got there, but hey! At least I had the brains to wear sensible footwear this on this trek. Shoot darn Suze. Don't remember, it just makes it worse remembering how good of a doctor he'd been during the blistered feet incident. Okay. Knock on the door. There now. That was easy. Breathe. Look at how pretty the flowers look right now, the gardener is doing a stellar job...
"You." Okay, not the welcome I was expecting. I turned around and spotted the generous bosomed nun who I'd come to dislike severely over the past year.
"Yes, Sister Ernestine. I was wondering if I could talk to Father Dominic, it's rather important." Control tone. Remain neutral.
"Hmph. Figures, your beau was here earlier, I knew it was only a matter of time before you'd need confession as well." She gave me the hairy eyeball. And I mean that literally. In the nicest possible way? It's unfortunate that nuns don't pluck their eyebrows. Really. Sister Ernestine could use it badly. Instead of being affronted by this insinuation, I was instead surprised. Because that meant Jesse was here, and it also meant he was probably talking to Father D. The way I saw it, I had three options. A: Go to Father D. and risk bumping into Jesse, B: Booting it back to the old house and forgetting about the whole thing, or C: Use my superior intellect, cunning, and spy skills to wait in the bushes until they are done and then go to Father D.
"Where are they?" I asked as sweetly as possible, and then added "sister" for posterity. She looked me over once, shook her head, and pointed towards the cathedral.
"Vestry. Last I knew." And the conversation was over, the door was closed, and I sneaked my way over to the bushes outside of the back door to the Junipero Serra Mission Church.
Okay, I plead the fifth. I'm going to try though, really I am. I'm going to try to get back on the wagon. There. Also, I believe the rest of this story, up until the end that is, is going to be in Suze's point of view. So there we go.
