I'm shivering so much it takes me stupidly long to take off my soaking clothes but the warm dry towel against my skin is comforting. My head still feels full of playdough and I just stand staring at the carpet, unable to make any sort of decision about what to do next. My hair is dripping icicles down my back but I can't coordinate my body to do anything about it. I feel him return rather than hear him. He sets two cups of tea on my bedside table and pulls back the duvet on my bed. Warm, gentle hands wrap a huge, thick robe around my shoulders and take care of the dripping hair problem and then I'm being led to the bed where there is a hot water bottle waiting for me.

He hasn't spoken since he left to get the tea but words seem unnecessary right now. I'm sitting up in bed clutching my tea, I'm not shivering quite so much now and I can feel the fog in my brain is starting to clear. I turn my head to look at him, and find him watching me intently. In his eyes I can see concern, relief, joy and tenderness but behind these emotions I can see haunted shadows of something much darker and a bit more of my heart breaks for him. It's too much and I look away but not looking is worse so I find his eyes again and this time I see something else, another emotion, raw and intense and unguarded. It takes my breath away and I know my own eyes are a mirror image as we gaze at each other. It is not the right time now for facing up to this unexplored territory but our relationship has just taken a much deeper turn than ever before.

The doctor is blow drying my hair. This should be very weird but it actually feels like the most natural thing in the world. I'm warming up nicely now and having nearly dry hair feels wonderful. I'm not thinking about the knots I'm going to have to tackle tomorrow, I'm just enjoying the moment. The doctor turns the dryer off and smoothes my hair down the best he can.

" There," he says, his voice a little coarse from not talking for a while.

" Think we may have seen off the hypothermia." He grins, a big stupid grin and I can't help returning it.

"Did I have hypothermia then"?

"Well, not quite but you were well on your way." He reaches out a hand and touches my forehead. " Your temperature is back to normal now, but you need to take it easy, let yourself recover a bit."

He gesture for me to lie down and I comply, a wave of exhaustion washing over me but when he stands to leave I bolt upright again. "No. stay, don't go."

I'm a little shocked at how desperate my voice sounds but I don't care, I'm not ready to be alone, 

I'm not ready to be without him, even for a little while.

He smiles softly, "I'm not going anywhere without you"

I pat the covers next to me and he gives a mock-dramatic sigh, then he shocks me by tugging down his trousers and unbuttoning his shirt. Wearing just a t-shirt and his boxers he lifts the duvet up and slides into bed beside me. A million thoughts rattle through my head at once but exhaustion washes over me again and when he takes me into his arms and my head is resting on his chest I can't remember anything feeling as right as this. We have so much to talk about, so much to tell each other and so many questions to answer but the whys and hows can wait until later, simply being with him, being together again is all we need right now.