A Novel Idea

Chapter Seven

Hawkeye finished reading the novel-in-progress to B.J. and dropped the pages to the Swamp floor, disbelief etched on this face. "How the hell did this story get so out of control, Beej?"

B.J. laughed softly. "Are you kidding? I'm amazed it makes that much sense!"

"A psychic?"

"Could've been worse. Could've been a teddy bear who broke the case."

Hawkeye rolled his eyes. "Well we're supposed to wrap this damn thing up. You and I. Us!" He gestured between them, as if B.J. didn't know who "you and I" meant. "How are we gonna do that, pray tell?"

B.J. spread his hands as if it should be painfully obvious. "I think there's only one possible way we can end this story, Hawk."


Six months later, Harvey and Gloria were married in a simple ceremony underneath the Hollywood sign on a spring day that sparkled like good gin. Father Mulcahy (not Father Mooney, who had since gone on a religious retreat in the Adirondacks to cleanse his soul, though he really hadn't done anything wrong) presided. Max Klinger (who provided the bride's simple but beautiful lace wedding gown) was the maid of honor, since Gloria's oldest friend, Sally, was serving 10-20 years in an Ottumwa, Iowa, prison for conspiring to murder.

Fueled by all the publicity from Gloria's high-profile case, Harvey's P.I. business took off. Suddenly people from around the globe were calling to hire him, and within months, he had a staff of 20 investigators, posh offices in Beverly Hills, and more cases to solve than he'd ever imagined.

Gloria found herself even more in demand in Hollywood, because being the target of a hired killer does that for an actress's career. Over the next year, she made four films, all of them huge box-office hits.

Edna the psychic wrote a book about her role in the case, embellishing more than a little.

Somehow, would-be assassin Charles Lamb was never apprehended in the case. He likely still has the 100,000 dollars that Sally paid him (perhaps he invested in the stock market and perhaps not)… and where on earth a struggling Iowa farmgirl had gotten that kind of cash is anyone's guess.

And as for the fate of that outlaw Jesse Jameson? Well, that's a whole other story entirely.

The End

(Author's Note: I know this was a bizarre little story, so thanks to those who read to the end! It was way too much fun to write.)