I'm just warning you now, I cryed while writing this. Especially the end. Now, this chapter is VERY long, so yea. DO NOT READ THIS STORY IF YOU LIKE JACOB BLACK!!
Okay, review!
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SoundTrack:
Long Way To Happy- Pink
Too Emotional- Vanessa Hudgens
Just Want You To Know- Backstreet Boys
Don't Ask Why- Vanessa Hudgens
Stay With Me- Danity Kane
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BPOV-
Jake never came back. I never saw him again; or at least a few days. Edward wouldn't go home unless I was with him. I felt guilty for him being too protective, like everything was my fault. I almost felt uncomfortable around the guys, the memories coming back, but I knew they would never hurt me, or touch me like Jake did. I ignored my fears; I loved Emmet and Jasper like brothers. I couldn't forget him though, the pain remained. I had nightmares about it, Edward was starting to hate when I fell asleep. He said I would scream sometimes or start to talk about the dream in my sleep.
I sat on the couch staring at my magazine while Edward sat in the chair across from me, he was asleep. I set the magazine on my lap and frowned. I was so bored, there was nothing to do. I sighed and glanced around, nothing caught my eye. I didn't dare think about going somewhere. Either Jake would find me, Edward would hunt me down, or my fears would break me. I sighed again, glancing at Edward. He was slugged over in his seat with his head propped up in my direction. Poor guy never slept now, thanks to me. I should have never invited him in that day, when he was walking his dogs.
I sat there for a while, and sighed a few more times, just thinking about everything that could happen to him now that I had ruined his life. After a while I stood up, cringing a little, and stretched. I went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, scanning for something to eat. Charlie would be back in a day or so which Edward wasn't happy about. He didn't even want me home alone with Charlie here. I decided to make a sandwich. I grabbed the things I needed and set to work. I glanced out the window; it was raining again, what a surprise. I sat there thinking about everything, Jake, Edward, and me. None of it was right. Edward shouldn't have been brought into my screwed up life and abusive ex-boyfriend. I ate slowly, thinking of some way to get Edward out of my mess.
First of all, he would get hurt since Jacob was bigger than him, and I wouldn't be able to stand that. Second, even Alice, Rosalie, Emmet and Jasper were starting to get involved which was even worse. And third, it was all my fault and I had to fix what I had done. If I had just let him walk his damn dogs, everything would be okay, well, almost everything. I thought about trying to stand up to Jacob, but I might end up getting myself seriously hurt. I thought about running away, but that would hurt all of my friends, and like Jake had said, he would find me, no matter what. I thought about totally changing myself. Dye my hair, get color eye contacts, and change my style. I thought about going to another country, and hope he wouldn't find out. Maybe fake a death and live in England.
I sat there for who knows how long, just thinking of how I could fix everything I had ruined. I didn't notice Edward leaning against the wall staring at me until he spoke, making me jump.
"Bella, are you okay?" he raised an eye brow. I smiled, nodding in response. "Yea just thinking, that's all," I set my plate in the sink and gazed out the window, biting my lip and realizing how hard it was going to be. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder, taking in a breath. I didn't look at him but continued to bite my lip. "Bella," I didn't answer him, still torn by the thoughts that filled my mind. "Bella, it's going to be okay. He won't come back," there was a silence, until I whispered. "Yet," he squeezed me, giving up the fight. I watched the rain fall against the window, even it was silent.
I broke his grip, starting to walk back into the living room. He let his hands slip from my hips, unwillingly I noticed. I wiped my hand past my forehead, stressed. I ran up the stairs, ignoring the warm gaze on my back. I shut my door, and started pacing around my room. I thought about it all. I had to fix it soon, this couldn't go on. Edward was getting too far into this mess I call my life. He was spending every minute with me, protecting me from my fears. It was too much. I wouldn't be able to stand him getting hurt; it would just make things worse. I had to get him out if it, I had to save him from getting hurt. I paced around and spotted my suitcase. I bit my lip; there was nothing I could do, but one thing.
I had to go back to Phoenix with Jake. I had to go back and be with him, even if it hurt like hell. I couldn't let everyone around me get hurt because of my mistakes. I couldn't let that happen. I rushed to my closet and started ripping all of my clothes out, throwing them on my bed. I didn't care if they got wrinkled. I pulled my suitcase out from under the bed and flipped it open, shoving everything in. I ignored my heart rate speeding up, fear flaring in me. I wasn't going to leave yet, but I had to be ready for when he got here. He never stayed away this long, and he was bound to show up any time. I zipped my suitcase closed and sighed, sitting next to it.
I glanced out the window, the rain still beating down. I was going to miss it here. There was a nock on my door and I jumped off my bed, shoving my suitcase under my bed. I skipped over to the door and opened it, Edward stood with his hands in his pockets, a worried look on his face. I smiled a faint smile and wrapped my arms around his stomach, hugging him close. It took him a second to respond, but he did. It was then that I realized, the hardest part about leaving would be leaving him.
The days flew by, Charlie came home and Edward went home. He spent time with his parents, unwillingly of course, but I forced him. I started to smile more, now that I could leave my house and hang out with friends. I knew I would have to leave, but I enjoyed the time I had left. I tried to distance myself from Edward, but it was harder than I had expected. I would sometimes not pick up my phone when he called, and then call him back a few minutes later and say I was in the shower or down stairs, something stupid. He didn't like it, but he wasn't alone in the depression of it. I didn't spend as much time with Alice and Rosalie either, more Angela and Jessica. I ignored the pain. It would hurt even more if I wasn't distancing myself from them all.
I didn't tell Charlie or anyone else about Jacob appearing. I thought it would just make everything worse, so I hid the pain and fear. I went to school, came home and did my homework, and would sometimes go and hang out with Angela and Jessica. Alice and Rosalie didn't like me avoiding them. One time in the hallway at school I saw them coming towards me and I turned and ran into the bathroom to hide. I was late for class because I didn't want to take the chance of running into them again, but it was a small sacrifice for the pain. They stopped calling me eventually, only Edward called. His calls shortened too. I hoped he wasn't angry. I would often find myself seeing him walk his dogs past my street. He stopped even glancing at the house. It hurt to see him not care anymore, but I told myself it was for the better. He didn't need someone like me in his life, ever.
I tried to forget about him and everyone else. I couldn't blind myself from the pain of noticing he hadn't called me within a month. I could walk past Alice and Rosalie and they wouldn't even look at me.
I stopped hanging out with Angela and Jessica, the pain was starting to get to me and I spent most of my time in my room, staring out the window.
I would see him walk his dogs, but he would be on the other side of the street. I had run into Emmet and Jasper at the store once, but they hadn't noticed me. I almost broke down into tears right then and then. I had to bit my tongue from running after them and screaming, "Hello, I'm right here, say something!" I ignored all emotions after a while since it all reminded me of spending time with them all. I ignored the memories the worse. I would always find myself wishing to be on Edward's lap half asleep watching Emmet and Jasper playing video games and demanding rematches.
The next thing I knew it had been two months since I had last spoken to them all. I hadn't seen Jake anywhere, and I had almost thought he wouldn't come for me this time, but his words just kept repeating in my mind. "I'll always find you, no matter what" it burned me to think about it. I had blocked out all painful things soon, stuck them in a room and removed the door, no way to get in. I liked it like that, I didn't cry anymore, but I never smiled either.
I now sat on the last stair staring at my cell phone which sat on the end table by the couch. Charlie was out of town for a week again, he had left earlier that day. I was beginning to think I was okay, until he left and I woke up to an empty house. So now I sat here, staring at my phone. I wanted to call him, so bad. I wanted to hear his velvet voice tell me I was okay and that he'd be over in a few minutes. I wanted to see him smile again. I closed my eyes and bit my lip. "Shut up Bella," I whispered to myself. I had to get over it. There was no door to the room, so how was I getting to the memories? Simply that I was stupid.
I grabbed my rain coat and slipped it on. I had a pair of jeans and a red short sleeve shirt on. I still hadn't unpacked my suitcase, in fear that he would show up at any minute. I ran out the front door and flipped up my hood, the rain pouring down on me. The pain struck me, running down the street with his feet pounding behind me, chasing me down. I coughed a few times, the fear tickling my throat. I continued walking, remembering my cell phone going off. I knew Edward was right next to Alice when she called. He was right there, hoping I was okay. He was right there caring about me. I bit back the thoughts, pressing my nails into my arm and biting my lip. I walked for a long time, but I didn't know where. I just kept walking. I had the feeling I was being followed, but I never really noticed it, the memories screaming at me in my head.
The next thing I knew, I was walking down the street down town. It was dark, and all the shops were closed, except the bars. I let my hood fall to my back since the rain had stopped for a brief time. I took in a breath of the moist air. I thought I had control, but I slipped and lost it. I didn't know where to go, I had no where to go. I didn't want to go back to the house it just made blocking the memories harder. I slipped on air and fell on my butt, groaning in dissatisfaction. I sat there for a moment, the silence setting in. There was no sound. I felt a chill run down my spin, when I heard his voice, his deep, cracked voice. "Bells, there you are," I looked up. There in front of me was Jake, holding a half empty beer bottle. I gulped, he was always worse when drunk.
I stood up and stumbled backwards. He had two friends with him, both just as drunk. I guessed he hadn't had less ten bottles. I touched the wall next to me, walking backwards. The pain struck me, the memories making I choked on air as I remembered him choking me. I lost my balance and tripped, but caught myself with my hands, luckily. I didn't answer him, but his friend added in, "She's a nice toy, you weren't joking," he laughed a stupid laugh, slurring and bringing the bottle back to his lips. I stopped breathing then. Not liking the situation. I turned and ran, knowing he wouldn't catch me with how drunk he was, but I didn't expect him to yell to his other friend to get the car, that made my heart stop.
I ran into an alley and slid down the wall breathing heavily. I pulled out my cell phone, realizing I had it with me. I flicked it open, I hadn't deleted his number, and there was no way I could out run a damn car. I clicked the send button and held the phone to my ear. The dialing sound restarted my heart and I tried not to panic. He didn't answer. I cried out then, sobbing when I saw the head lights coming up the street. I flicked the phone shut, stuffing it in my pocket. I took in a deep breath. I had to leave tonight or never. So I stood up and walked around the corner, the car skidding to a stop and Jake jump out, walking towards me. I was blinded y the head lights, I gulped, crushing myself against the wall. He smiled a stupid grin, "Bells, I told you I'd find you," he laughed, throwing my hands in the air.
I blocked my eyes from the light and gulped again, "I decided I'll go back to Phoenix with you Jake," he raised his eye brow, trying to focus his eyes on me, stumbling a little closer to me. I took a step back, but smiled faintly. "See, I knew you'd come around, you could never stop loving me," he smiled, grabbing my waist and dragging me towards the car. "Can we go tomorrow morning though?" I hoped he would at least give me that. He nodded, laughing as He threw me into the car and climbed into the back seat with me. I felt the tears boiling up, wishing I could have at least heard Edward's voice before I sent myself into something worse than hell. He wrapped his arms around my waist and laughed at his friends joking. I hoped he would just crash the car and kill me.
The car ride was quick and frightening. They kept dodging things, and then laughing. I finally piped up, "We should just go to my house and get my stuff. I think we should leave tonight," I just wanted to get it over with. He smiled, "Alright then, to good ol' Charlie's house!" he shouted. His breathe was stained with the alcohol he had consumed. They skidded to a stop in the drive way, I gulped as he ripped me out of the back seat and towards the front door. I thought I caught sight of someone running towards Edward's house, but I didn't have time to hope for that. I ran up the stairs and pulled my suitcase out from under my bed. I grabbed a few things I had pulled out of it over the few months and jammed them into my bag.
I stood at the door and stared at the room I had lived in for so long. The room I had woken up to see Edward leaning against the door sill, smiling at me. I remember jumping out of the bed and hugging him, the thoughts of Jake vanishing instantly. I closed my eyes and turned around to walk down the stairs. Jake was lying on the couch, smiling at me as I unwillingly dragged my self down to him. I was his now, I had made my choice. I had nothing else to save me. I had scared away Edward, everyone. And now it was time for me to go. I hadn't succeeded in making the pain vanish, I simply increased it.
I pulled myself to a stop at the end of the stairs. He stood up and opened the door, motioning for me to the car. I nodded, stepping out the door and towards the car. This was the end of my happiness. I was leaving it all behind me.
EPOV-
I sat at the table, everyone around me in conversation. Alice and Rosalie were talking about some new fashion store in the mall and Emmet and Jasper were talking about the football team and the basketball team. I poked at my chicken with my fork, wondering if she was crying. I left my cell phone at home, knowing she wouldn't call. She was done with me, and I had to get over it. But there was something that bit at me, that she was planning something. She was purposely distancing herself from me. I was going to find out too. I had decided earlier today that I was going over to her house, knowing she wouldn't pick up her damned phone. Now all I had to do was stay calm until then.
I hadn't heard her voice in more than a month. I wasn't even going to say how long it had been since I saw her smile; that was just heart cracking. Alice glanced at me, "Would you cheer up already, she is obviously done with us," she rolled her eyes. I knew she was lying. She and Rosalie had been heart broken every since she stopped calling and started avoiding them at the mall and in the hallways. I glared at her, "Stop acting like your perfectly fine," I muttered, sliding out of my seat and heading towards the door. I jumped into my Volvo and jammed the key into the ignition. I went a little to fast on the way home.
My thought was filled with memories of Bella, and I just kept getting the thought that something was wrong, something terrible was happening at the moment. I choked a little, hoping I was imagining things. I drove in silence, not wanting to think about anything but the fact that Bella was okay. She had to be okay, she had been okay for months now, why would he suddenly show up now?
After a rather long drive or perhaps it was just me, I pulled into the driveway and ran into the kitchen and found my phone. It had one missed call. My throat went dry and my heart stopped, it said 'Bells'. I picked it up, I had a voice mail. I flipped it open and waited to hear it. The first thing I heard was a car skidding to a stop and a car door shutting. I could hear her unsteady breathing, the fear in her raspy breathe. Then I heard Jake, that stupid little ex-boyfriend of hers. He was reminding her that she wouldn't get away. Her breathing would stop and start multiple times. I wondered what kept her breathing, what she was thinking.
Then she did what I thought she would never do, she told him she would go back with him. But if you think that bothered me, it hurt even worse when she said she wanted to go back with him. I stared in disbelief at the floor. She couldn't really still love him could she? After all he has put her through? I listened closely as she asked to be taken home for the night. She must not know that her phone was still on. He sounded pretty wasted, too. I reminded myself to breath as I heard her climb into the car with him, or be thrown in I should say. There were two other voices that sounded drunk also. My
mind went blank as the phone cut off. She was seriously doing this, wasn't she? I didn't realize what I was doing until the phone hit the ground and I was running out the front door towards her house.
I ran as fast as I could but skidded to a stop at the corner when I noticed the two rather large guys sitting in the car laughing as one of them drunk down the rest of a bottle of beer. I choked on my breath, seeing Bella walk slowly with Jake towards the front door, he was dragging her along. She was unwilling to go in, I could tell. She must have something planned, but I couldn't imagine what. I stood there for a moment when everything went into slow motion, her head slowly turned in my direction and something made me jump out of view. I leaned against the fence of her backyard, still catching my breath.
She hadn't seen me, and that was a good thing. I knew she would start to stress out about me following her, and that might set Jake off on her. I could take Jake, but not three of them. I decided to get my car and wait out on the street somewhere, just in case they left earlier in the day. I glanced around the corner of the house and the two guys in the car were opening more bottles of alcohol. She was seriously going insane to have them drive her anywhere. The rain was starting to pick up again, soaking me down fast. It was fast, strong and cold. I ignored the icy sting of it. I waited, not sure why the guys in the car were just sitting around waiting.
The time was short, until Bella and Jake came back out of the house. My eyes widened and my heart stopped. She was leaving now? I thought she was leaving tomorrow. I was wrong, she dragged the suitcase along as Jake tugged on her arm, laughing and stumbling along. She gulped and bit her lip. I could tell she was holding in tears. She didn't even have her coat on, so the rain bit at her soaking her down. I almost jumped him then and there, but I mentally chained myself to the wall of the house. He grabbed her suitcase, or ripped it from her I should say, and threw it in the back seat, laughing harder. She glanced around, catching her eyes on the house and staring at it. She was saying goodbye. Then Jake grabbed her arm tightly lifted her to the door. She climbed in glancing back not once. He pushed her in, grabbing her. I bit my lip, what a perve.
I couldn't believe I was seeing this. She was actually leaving with him. The guy that hit her, made her bleed, made her fear for her life. She was going back with him and just leaving us here. I stood there in the rain as the car pulled out. Everything was so wrong. She still loved him? I couldn't believe that she would, but she must. I fell to my knees and watched the car pull away. I didn't breathe, I didn't speak, I didn't move. There she went, after all he did. She just crawls back to him? I stared after the car. There was something I was missing, there had to be. None of it was right, I was missing something important, there must be a reason she was doing this. I shook my head, standing up finally and heading back towards the house. I was going to figure this out, and I was going to go and get her.
BPOV-
I sat now in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my hair pulled up in a pony tail on the couch, glancing through an old magazine of mine. Jacob wasn't home yet, and I didn't expect him to get home until late. I hoped it would be easier tonight, maybe he would just pass out or something, but luck never went my way. It had been almost a year since leaving Forks. Renee was happy to see me back, and Charlie didn't mind but he wished I had said goodbye. I now lived with Jake in a little apartment on the south side of the city or Phoenix. I hadn't smiled in who knows how long. I didn't have any of my friends and I didn't spend much time with Phil and Renee. I was locked here at the house. Jake didn't trust me enough to let me go out on my own, he thought I would go 'sleep with one of his friends' again, as if I did the first time.
I sighed, glancing around the room. I was the only one that cleaned since he would usually bring home a pack of friends who were just as drunk as him. I hated it. He treated me like a toy, but I had already tried running, and I never got away. He always found me, and would just hurt me more. I tried to ignore the need to just run, knowing it would make him angrier. I had grown to easily block the painful memories, especially since I didn't live in Forks, and nothing here reminded me of there, where I was happy. I didn't think about him anymore either. The first month or so I spent hours crying and thinking I had made a mistake, but then I realized that I would have gotten him hurt and that was worse than the pain I was now undergoing.
I glanced at the clock, the clock blinked that it was nine fifty-five. I had maybe two or three hours before the nightmare started again. It was always hot in our apartment. It was pretty trashy too. Jake complained of not having enough 'fun' money to use, so here we are in this trashy, hot, dirty, apartment. I learned to get over it when I went to Renee's house. He treated me like an angel there, and then once we got here he would start yelling and threatening me. He hit me more than just once now. He said it was to keep me in check, make sure I don't go running off again. Renee and Phil didn't notice the bruises and scars, thank god.
I didn't try to stop him either. That just made him angrier, I learned to just take it and get over it. It was my life now. I didn't cry anymore, I just stood there and took it. He enjoyed seeing me cry, knowing I was in pain. I knew he didn't love me when he said he did. Just like he had said in Forks, I was his little toy. It was useless to hope anymore, I was in this for life. I knew once he got bored with me, he would end it. I just hoped it would be quick. I sometimes had dreams about him though. I had dreams that he was holding me close and telling me it was all okay and that I would be fine. But dreams never last, and they never come true. They always end, always.
I stood up and walked into the kitchen, scanning the fridge for food. I decided on a glass of orange juice, not really hungry but thirsty. I drank it quickly and washing the glass and stuffing it back into the cabinet. Jake hated coming home to a messy kitchen, I learned that a few days ago when there were some dishes in the small sink we had. I walked down the hallway and changed clothes. Jeans and a long sleeve shirt were best when he got home, nothing that showed too much skin. It was dangerous.
Just as I slipped my shirt on I heard the front door slam open and a few guys laughing. I bit my lip, the fear spiking. They never came home this early. I could hear Austin, Jake, and a guy Embry. I liked Embry, he was so much nicer to me, but he never stood up to Jake, or he would probably get killed. I gulped, walking down the hallway to see Embry on the couch. He smiled apologetically to me, obviously not drunk. Then my eyes caught on Jake who had a empty bottle of alcohol in his hands, smiling sheepishly at me. Austin laughed as he started to make out with some girl I didn't recognize. I smiled faintly, the fear rising slowly as Jake walked towards me. "Bells, where's my cash?" he stuck out his hand and laughed, stumbling a little. I gulped, "What cash?" his smile faded and turned to a pout. "The damn money I asked for this morning before heading out to work, where is it?" he raised his voice.
I glanced at Embry, he stared in horror. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, "You didn't ask for any money, Jake," he raised an eye brow, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the bedroom. He laughed as he slammed the door and locked it. I felt the fear flowing through my veins. I hoped it would all just go numb this time. He turned and threw me against the wall, starting to yell about it. I stood and took it, staring up at him. He laughed, "Afraid are we?" he was still yelling. I closed my eyes and curled my lips shut. Don't scream, don't scream, don't scream! Then there was a little bit of pain on my arm, I realized he was squeezing it tightly and yelling at me some more. I hoped it wouldn't be as bad tonight, make it quick and be done.
I stared at the floor biting my lip. He snapped my chin up, making me bit my lip harder. A moment later I could taste the blood. Damn him; making me bit myself open like that. I crushed myself against the wall harder. I just kept telling myself that everything was happening for a reason. I shouldn't have run from him. That is why he hit me. That's why he yelled. He was just mad because I had been stupid. To my surprise he stormed out of the room and left me to myself. I slid down the wall and sat on the floor. I heard them laughing loudly and then the front door slam. Then I realized he probably wanted some money for more beer. I stared at the roof, letting a few tears fall. I didn't like to cry, it made him laugh at me, satisfaction in his eyes.
I sat for a while, just trying to control myself. I shook my head and stumbled to my feet. I was sweating of course. Who wears jeans and a long sleeve shirt in Phoenix? I walked down the hallway slowly, afraid the door would swing open again. I pulled the curtain to the front window open a little and peeked out, the car was gone. I let out my breath and didn't dare lock the door. I sat on the couch and tried to calm my self. I had a few hours before he came back, before I would have to go through more. I was shaking, and my breath was uneven. I glanced at the clock again and then continued to stare at the floor. Suddenly my cell phone went off, and the number I had always wished to pop up, came up.
"H-hello," I couldn't breathe, my nose burning and my vision becoming blurry from tears. "Hey," I closed my eyes, his voice even better than before. "H-hi," I croaked, the tears falling over and sliding down my bruised skin slowly. "I-I don't know why I called, I just wanted to c-check on you, see how you were doing," I smiled, his voice calming my heart even now. The thoughts of Jake vanished, I was astonished that he still had that control over me. "I-I'm okay," I meant to say great, but I wasn't great at saying the opposite of what I thought. There was a silence. "Alice wanted to see how you were doing," I felt my heart sink at his words. He had let me go like I wanted, but it still hurt to hear it from his lips.
"She wants to talk to you," he added when I didn't respond. "O-Okay," I muttered, still silently crying. There were a few voices in the background, but I cursed to myself for letting him say goodbye so quickly. "Bella," she sounded sad, what a surprise. "Hey Alice," I muttered, more tears coming. She told some people to be quiet and then came back, "Are you okay, I can hear you crying," she sounded worried. I squeezed my eyes shut. "No Alice, I'm fine really it's just that," I didn't finish I just shook my head. "Sorry Edward called you my phone broke," I didn't say anything. It helped to hear his voice. "You should come back Bells, everyone misses you, and Rosalie is starting to get boring to shop with," I shook my head. I wished I could go back to them, but I had committed to this for life. "I can't Alice, I really can't. I wish I could tell you," I broke off into more tears, silent of course.
"Bella," she muttered. I shook my head again. "Just forget about it Alice, I can't go back, even if I want to," I heard a voice speak up but Alice made him shut up, I think it was Edward, but I wasn't sure. "Bella, he's not, h-hurting you, right?" she sounded afraid to ask. I closed my eyes and whispered, "Yes," I heard someone storm out of the room and Rosalie started talking, then Alice made everyone shut up. "How are Renee and Phil?" I answered quickly. "Fine, I don't get to see them much though," there was silence. "So what do you do most of the time?" Rosalie spoke up. I gulped. "I-I don't do much," Alice took the phone again. "Are you busy?" I raised an eye brow. "Why?" she answer quickly, giggling a little. "Just curious," she exclaimed.
We talked for a long time, she told me what everyone had been up to since I left. She didn't ask me about what I had done, knowing it would upset me. I would have thought that talking to her and Rosalie would upset me, but it made me feel better actually. I was stupid and muttered a few things I told myself I wouldn't say, which I mentally slapped myself for. The time flew by and I actually found myself laughing and smiling. That made me feel like there really was hope, until I heard a car pull up into the front of the apartments. I choked on air and interrupted her, "I have to, like right now, he's back and," Edward cut me off, "You better call me soon," I ran down the hallway and into the bedroom. "I'll try tomorrow, when he's out," Alice agreed and said goodbye, I flipped the phone shut.
I threw my phone under the bed and curled up, hoping he wouldn't be too harsh this time. I got lucky the first time, but I never got lucky two times in a row. I closed my eyes and curled my lips together, reminding myself not to scream. Then I heard his angry foot steps running down the hallway towards me, and then I saw his angry eyes, glaring down at me.
EPOV-
My hands were shaking as I listened to the dialing sound; she was never going to pick up, not even now. I bit my lip, her voice was shaky and cracked, not a good sign. "Hey," I tried to sound as normal as I could. I could hear her breathing stop and start. I had obviously called at the wrong time. She sounded so, broken. I hated hearing her like that, it made me bit my lip harder. "I-I don't know why I called, I just wanted to c-check on you, see how you were doing" the pain leaked out and I mentally slapped myself for telling her my thoughts. "I-I'm okay," that was exactly what I didn't want to hear.
"Alice wanted to see how you were doing," I tried to correct my last comment. Her breathing stopped then, and I had a feeling she hadn't wanted to hear that. She didn't respond so I added, "She wants to talk to you," I waited. I swear she was crying, but I wasn't sure. Alice started bouncing up and down next to me with excitement. I rolled my eyes, still in disbelief that she even picked up the phone. "O-Okay," I handed Alice the phone, but hit the speaker button, like I was seriously going to miss this conversation.
Emmet and Jasper started hitting me in the arm and smiling. I shut them up and stared at the phone that sat on the table in front of us. Alice glanced at me and I nodded. "Bella," she answered more quickly than she had with me. "Hey Alice," her voice was still cracking, she sounded really upset. I closed my eyes and listened, her voice made my heart flip, even if it was if she was upset. Amazing how I still cared for her, even after she made it clear that she loved him, or I thought. I heard her crying and spoke up, but Alice hit me and put her finger to her lips. "Bella, are you okay? I can hear you crying," I flung my arms in the air and she threw me a glare. "No I'm fine, it's just that," I could sense her shaking her head as more tears came down.
I was seriously going to attack someone if I didn't calm down. Rosalie put her hand on my knee and stopped it from bouncing up and down. I rolled my eyes at her, she didn't understand. Alice quickly changed the subject, "Sorry Edward called you, my phone broke," I shot her a glare, I would have called her, but I couldn't stand talking to her in the state she's in. Alice was just my back up if I couldn't handle it, which I couldn't. There was silence, I wished I was there wrapping my arms around her, comforting her. "You should come back Bells, everyone misses you," I glared at her, softly hitting her on the arm. Leave it to Alice to bring up one of the hardest subjects to talk about.
"I can't Alice, I really can't. I wish I could tell you why," her voice broke into a whisper at the end. Rosalie pressed her hand against my knee harder. I was really starting to get pissed. I took in a deep breath and tried to just listen to her amazing voice, the voice I had been dreaming about for so long. "Bella," Alice muttered in a low soft voice. I closed my eyes, afraid to hear her speak again. "Just forget it Alice, I can't go back, even if I want to," my eyes shot open and I spoke up. "She wants to come back?" Alice hit me on the shoulder and told me to shut up. I bit my lip. She just said she wanted to come back, right? Did I hear wrong? I shook my head, clearing my mind. I couldn't believe Alice asked what she asked, "Bella, h-he's not, hurting you, right?" There was a silence, not good. I bit my lip.
"Yes," she whispered. I jumped out of my seat and darted out of the room. Rosalie started yelling for me to come back but Alice made her shut up. I rested my arms on the counter in the kitchen. He was still hurting her? Still hitting her? She went back with him, what else does he want? How could he hit her, make her bleed. I paced around the kitchen, trying to calm down. I just couldn't believe what I had just heard. I paced around for a good twenty minutes just trying to cool down. This wasn't right. She seemed willing to go back with him then, but now it was like she was torn to shreds. Why would she want to go back to that?
Emmet suddenly appeared next to me and patted me on the shoulder, "Calm down, why don't you just come talk to her or something," I rolled my eyes and started walking back towards the guest
room, where everyone was gathered around the phone. Alice was asking about the malls down in Phoenix, Bella laughed and explained that she didn't really get to go anywhere, that made me cringe.
She sounded a little amused by the question, but as she explained I could hear her voice start to break and I could tell she didn't like talking about it. Alice and Rosalie continued to talk to her, and I was in heaven just hearing her respond. Her voice was broken, hurt, and cracked, sure, but it was still more than music to my ears. I wished I could see her smile, or laugh. I glanced at the bed that she had once slept in so many times, biting my lip. I remembered her sitting on my lap and falling asleep, and then jumping when Emmet would laugh and Jasper demanding a rematch while playing video games. I wasn't with her, but I had her. I had her with me everywhere I went; she wouldn't freak out if I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her shoulder. I knew we were always going to be just friends, so what we had was enough. To be able to hold her like she was mine, and talk to her like she was mine, that was enough for me.
I closed my eyes and absorbed her voice, picturing her sitting there smiling and laughing. I thought about everything that had happened. None of it seemed right. I had no idea why she went back with him, just to have him hit her more. I didn't get why she had distanced her self from me before doing so either. I thought about it for a while, just trying to put all the puzzle pieces together. Just when I had almost figured it out she cut Alice off and the right leaked through the phone, my eyes shot open. She was starting to explain but I cut her off, "You better call soon," I could hear the fear in her breath. "I'll try tomorrow when he's out," Alice glanced at me when she said goodbye, I shook my head and Alice returned the goodbye.
The next day my phone never left my side. I kept checking it to make sure I didn't miss her call. I paced around and continued to think about why she would distance herself and then leave with her stupid abusive boyfriend, without telling me. I just didn't get it. She couldn't still love him, could she? No, that was obvious. She was deathly afraid of him, she couldn't still love him after all that he is putting her through. I sat down on the couch, the memories of her sitting with me biting at my mind. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breathe. Emmet was out with Rosalie and Alice and Jasper were at her house. I was alone. I didn't do much anymore. I just sat around and trying to figure out why she'd leave us like this. I would go to school, only to be attacked my Lauren.
I sat there for a long time just thinking. Then I got it. My eyes shot open, she distanced her self from us, and everyone for that matter, before agreeing to go home with her abusive, psycho boyfriend. She probably knew I would get in some fight with Jake, who was clearly larger than I, and everyone was starting to get into the big mess… She distanced her self so no one would get hurt by her leaving or him attacking someone. She left to protect us.
My eyes widened. She sent herself into something worse then hell so everyone around her wouldn't get hurt. That's just plain suicidal! I stood up and started pacing around again. I should have guessed that earlier. She was too kind for her own good. She didn't still love him. She didn't want to go back with him. She must have been planning this for who knows how long, but it worked.
Suddenly my cell phone started ringing and I flipped it open without glancing at the caller ID. "Hey," she sounded afraid, in pain almost. I cringed, hoping he hadn't touched her. "Hey," she copied in a cracked voice. "How are you," I tried not to sound too anxious, what a failed attempt that was. "I'm okay, I guess," I closed my eyes and sat on the arm of the couch. "Bella, come on. Tell me what's going on," she took in a deep breath, "Edward," she pleaded. I shook my head, "Bella, your killing me here, and I don't think you want to be responsible for my death," she giggled a little, thank god. "It's nothing really. He's gone and I'll be okay until about eleven tonight," I squeezed my eyes shut tighter. "What do you mean, until eleven tonight," I could picture she shaking her head. "He usually gets home late, sometimes with friends, sometimes not," I bit my lip.
He hit her everyday? That was beyond abusive. "You can't stay there Bella, he could go too far," she choked out a laugh, "Only when he'll get bored with me. I doubt that will happen anytime soon," I gulped, the pain almost leaking out of my skin. "Bella, please, I'm begging here," she didn't say anything for a moment. "He'll find me Edward," she whispered, I could hear the tears running down her cheek. I rested in my head in my hand. "Bella, please, you know you'll be okay, you have me," I was defiantly begging now. "I'm sorry, I'm in this for life Edward, I knew that when I left," that hit the spot. My eyes shot open and I ran my hand through my hair. "Bella don't do this, please," I could see her shake her head. "Goodbye Edward," she whispered. "Bella just wait a minute we can figure it out, really just-," there was a click and I threw my phone against the wall.
I walked around in circles, cussing at myself. This wasn't right. She doesn't deserve this. I was going to fix it. Everything was a blur, but the next thing I knew I was in the Volvo heading towards the airport. I was going to fix this; she wasn't going to be his little toy anymore...
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So I cried big time at the ending there. With the whole phone call and such. Yea, I know you probably hate me for making Jake the bad guy. I won't make him the bad guy in the next story, er- at least I'll try. XD
Anyways, please review, even if you hate the story. This took two days to write, haha.
Also, school started for me so I won't be able to update everyday like I love to do. I can probably only update on the weekends, but I'll update a lot on the weekends. XD
LOL.
-Thankx-
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P.S.- Please click the 'Go!' button!! Pretty please with an Edward Cullen and two cherries on top?? Thankx!!
