Disclaimer: I don't own HA! Thanks to Craig Bartlett for creating a heartfelt cartoon series.

AN: Thank you for reading.

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"Do you think I should have gone over there myself? Maybe I shouldn't have had Arnie take my place." Arnold asked Gerald, second guessing his decision on allowing his strange cousin walk Helga to school. "It's just that after my weird dream about him and the concert, I needed the two of us to spend some time apart. I mean, he was getting on my nerves and it's not like I had to walk with Helga to school, but I do have to-..."

"Huh?" Gerald, clouded in his own world of thoughts, listened half heartedly to his best friend's predicament. He himself felt the impact of the upcoming event's weight crushing his shoulders. "What are you talking about Arnold, and what's the deal with Helga?"

"Oh...um..." Arnold failed to mention his current situation regarding Helga to Gerald, who like Phoebe, had no clue he'd been walking his arch nemesis to school every Wednesday. He decided he'd better brew up an excuse and quickly. "You remember that science project Helga and I had to redo? We're still working on it."

"Still?" Gerald hoisted an eyebrow, "I thought that was over two weeks ago. Shouldn't you guys be done by no-...?"

"Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"What the...?" Arnold laid his chin over his shoulder to witness two high spirited boys donning scandalous grins shuffle their way down the sidewalk. "Hey, Stinky. Hey, Sid. What's up?"

"Hey, Arnold, you're not gonna believe what we just saw!" Sid, a boy of minute proportions reported eagerly. His green backwards cap smothering a head full of stringy black hair, black leather jacket and white trademark beetle boots only amplified his small frame. "Get a load of this! Helga Pataki, the meanest girl in the fourth grade's got herself a boyfriend!"

"Helga? A boyfriend?" Gerald responded dubiously. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. It's true, Gerald," Stinky, a lanky young gentleman sporting a muddy green skirt, blue jeans and rather large nose confirmed in his southern accent. "On account o' we just saw her and her new beau, Ar-..."

"Stinky!"

"What? What I say?" Stinky, who lacked a few screws in the intelligence department, failed to realize Sid had no intention of disclosing this information until a later point in time.

"We'll give you all the details at school. See ya, Arnold. See ya, Gerald."

"Oh! Now I get it!" Stinky announced as the two boys headed toward P.S. 118 Elementary. "You're not gonna tell Arnold and Gerald about Helga and Arnie until we get to school!"

"Later, Stinky."

"All right! All right!"

Arnold and Gerald turned to face one another, each boy throwing his shoulders into an indifferent shrug. Both dedicated more concern to Friday night's performance.

"What was that all about?"

"I don't know. I guess Helga found herself a boyfriend," Arnold answered his best friend, then stopped short, Stinky's words finally settling in. "Hey, wait a minute. Didn't Stinky say Helga's boyfriend was Arnie?"

"Don't ask me, Arnold," Gerald couldn't lie to him, "I wasn't payin' attention. Did you just say Arnie's Helga's boyfriend?"

"I have a bad feeling about this," Not only did Arnold know Helga detested the very thought of his cousin, he also knew Sid and Stinky's mouths occasionally spat tainted rumors. "Come on, Gerald, we better hurry up and get to school. We need to find out what's going on."

Upon arrival, Arnold scrutinized his fourth grade classroom thoroughly, searching for any out of the ordinary scenario. Everything seemed normal. Harold, a part-time bully who wore his t-shirt three sizes too small scarfed down a mega breakfast burrito, while Curly a bespectacled boy with black hair obsessed over the wealthiest girl in Mr. Simmons' class. Rhonda Wellington Lloyd showed off her brand new one of a kind Caprini sandals to her best friend Nadine, an avid bug collector. Eugene, the song and dance optimist displayed his usual klutzy behavior, stubbing his toe on the leg of his desk, then smacked his face while opening its top. Sheena, a tall mild mannered girl came to his rescue.

Most of his classmates performed their usual morning routines, but Arnold felt he needed to check out a few more students' desks. He passed over the two boys he encountered earlier. Both were laughing amongst themselves, so he proceeded to Lila who'd immersed herself into a book. Sitting right beside her, Phoebe diligently copied notes from her science book onto a loose leaf sheet of paper. Only one desk remained. It was empty. Worse yet, his cousin was absent from the room, leaving Arnold to think up a number of disturbing thoughts. The bell rang as Mr. Simmons entered the classroom, greeting his students cheerfully.

"Good morning, class!" he announced as he closed the door behind him. "Not only are we working on our special history assignments, but we also have a very special quest returning to our classroom today. That's funny. Arnold, do you know where your cousi-..."

SLAM!

The classroom door swung open, revealing an irate Helga, fists clenched, shoulders hunched and a scowl the devil himself might find frightening. Standing a mere few inches behind her, Arnie's blank expression revealed no emotion whatsoever.

"Nothing personal, Mr. Simmons," she addressed the kind teacher, "but my morning's been filled with one surprise after another. So, how the heck are ya?"

"I, um, I'm very well, um, Helga. Thank you. Why don't you take your seat. Oh, there you are. Class, I'd like for all of you to give our returning visitor, Arnold's cousin Arnie, a warm welcome."

Several students let forth loud gasps. Rhonda scrunched her shoulders, clinging to Nadine for dear life. Sid and Stinky, who had yet to make their grand announcement, burst into hysterical fits of laughter.

"Arnie!" Lila cried out in delight. She felt elated to lay eyes on her ex-boyfriend again, but couldn't fathom why he'd accompanied Helga or why they were late for class.

Helga stomped her way over to Arnold's seat, slamming Old Betsy onto his desk. The impact of her fist startled him somewhat, but not enough to rattle him since he'd become used to her antics.

"You and I will have this conversation later, Football Head!" she demanded angrily, pointing a finger at his cousin.

"Whatever you say, Helga." Arnold couldn't help but find his cousin following her around like a lost dog kind of amusing. "That'll keep her distracted, at least for a while."

Later on at lunchtime, Lila tapped Arnold's shoulder for his undivided attention. She needed to ask him a few questions regarding Arnie and Helga. "Hello, Arnold."

"Oh, hey Lila. What brings you to our table?" Neither party spent the quality time they used to together after the Timberly incident took place, but Arnold never minded listening to Lila's melodic voice.

"Arnold, if I may, I'd like to have an ever to private conversation with you."

"Sure. Gerald, if you don't mind." Arnold pulled himself up from his chair.

"No problem."

He and Lila strolled their way over to an empty lunch table. "What did you need to talk to me about, Lila?"

"Well, Arnold, this might be difficult for you, but don't you think it seems Arnie's spending an awful lot of time with Helga lately?"

"I don't know. I guess." Arnold made it a point not to meddle in Arnie's personal life. "Why?"

"I just don't get it, Arnold. We were oh so close and then, he suddenly breaks up with me. Now, he's associating himself with Helga, but I can't believe he'd prefer her company over mine. Would you be ever so kind as to talk to him for me?" Lila glanced in distress at the table where the two subjects sat eating their lunch. Helga was obviously miserable, but Arnie seemed content.

"What do you want me to tell him?" Arnold had enough troubles on his plate without adding this to it.

"Could you tell him I'd like to have an ever so heart to heart talk with him? Maybe we could get back together." It was a long shot, but if anybody could pull it off, Lila could.

"Thank you ever so much, Arnold." She squeezed his shoulder compassionately, then headed toward Rhonda's table.

"Great", Arnold grumbled once Lila returned to her lunch table. "What's next?"

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"Too rah loo rah lay!"

"Stinky...Stinky! Let's lower it an octave, please." Mr. Simmons attempted to keep each student on key for the sake of the song they practiced.

"Too rah loo rah lay!"

"Curly! Curly, let's focus on singing with the class, not over them."

"Too rah loo rah lay!"

"Harold! No eating during practice! This is a music room, not a diner!"

"Aww! I was hungry!"

"Too rah loo rah lay!"

"Good people! Good, and that's a wrap." His students trampled out the door, ignoring his last words. "Don't forget rehearsal is tomorrow night, and Arnold, please medicate that ailing throat of yours. We want to hear our star performer come Friday."

"I'll do my best," Arnold whispered, feeling worse than ever as he headed out the door onto the playground.

"Man, Arnold. I thought you sounded a little better this morning, but now you sound awful," Gerald delivered his honest opinion. "You sure you won't need an antibiotic before Friday? The concert's only two days away!"

"I'll be fine, Gerald," Arnold reassured him. "Grandma knows how to make all kinds of remedies for the common cold."

"I don't think what you have is the common, uh oh! Here comes trouble, and an army of followers to go with it."

Helga proceeded toward the monkey bars, fuming with every step she took, Arnie trailing right behind her. It almost looked as if she was pulling him on an invisible leash. A slew of followers marched behind the unlikely pair, chanting and taunting.

"Helga's got a boyfriend! Helga's got a boyfriend! Helga's got a boyfriend!"

"Put a sock in it, ya bunch a morons!" she hollered, then mumbled to herself. "I aught a deck 'em all!"

"I don't know, Arnold. I've never seen Helga in this bad a mood before. You sure you know what you're in for?" Gerald hated the idea of his best friend slicing himself into mince meat.

"I'll be fine, Gerald," Arnold tried to comfort him, keeping his own fears to himself.

"This is all your fault, Bucko!" Helga poked her finger into his nose. "Arnie, go stand over by that fence way over there."

"'Kay." Once Arnie was out of earshot, Helga slung her words at Arnold like giant mud pies.

"Ever since you sent your lamo cousin to my house this morning, I've had to endure him clinging to me like moss on rock!"

"I thought it would be nice if he walked you to school. That's all."

"No!" she moved her finger from his nose, pressing it into his chest. "You sent him over there because he told you he loved me!"

"Huh?" Arnold found himself baffled by her latest accusation.

"Say what?" Gerald was just as confused as Arnold was. Worse yet, Lila, who'd been sitting on a nearby swing, overheard their conversation.

"Don't play dumb with me, Arnold! Arnie told you he loved me and you sent im to my house to get him off your back! Now I've got him following me all over the place and Sid and Stinky telling everyone he's my boyfriend! You did this, Football Head!"

"But, Helga. Arnie never told me-..."

"Look, Pal! Don't lie-..."

"Arnie loves Helga?" Harold, a participant among their live audience, threw his two cents in. "AH! HA! Arnie loves Helga! Arnie loves Helga! Arnie loves-..."

"Can it, Fat Boy or I'll give you a piece of Old Betsy!"

"Ahhh!" Harold scrambled out of her way immediately.

"You better run, ya chicken butt!"

"Listen, Helga," Arnold tried to explain himself to no avail. "I'm telling the truth."

"If you're telling the truth, Arnold," Lila intruded in on their debate, "then you'd never have sent Arnie to Helga's in the first place. It's obvious she's disinterested in him. I'm oh so disappointed in you."

"Doesn't anybody believe me?" Arnold asked.

"I do." Gerald placed a hand over his shoulder. "You're my best friend and I know you're true blue."

"Thanks, Gerald."

"And I know your true blue," Helga mocked him. "Don't worry, Bucko! You'll get yours! See ya in the funny papers, Arnoldo!"

Lila, turning her head to give Arnold a pitiful look, joined Helga and the rest of the crowd. She felt sickened he'd pulled a devious prank on Helga and used his own cousin to do it. Arnold himself couldn't understand why everyone was so angry with him. He hung his head low as he started to walk home.

"Helga! Helga!" Mr. Simmons cried out breathlessly as he carried a large cardboard box. "I'm so glad I caught up with you. About those uniforms you asked me for."

He presented an abundance of patriotic material to the hostile blonde. Helga examined it thoroughly.

"It isn't much, but this is all I could find and Lila tells me you're pretty handy with a needle and thread. Do you think it'll do?"

"Thanks, Mr. Simmons," Helga grinned viciously. She knew exactly what she'd do with it. "It's perfect!"

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AN: Thank you so much for the constructive criticism.

-Jae-