AN: Thank you for reading.

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"Do you think we made a rash decision, Helga?" Lila remained at the feisty blonde's side while she dug through various sorts of starred and striped patterned fabric. "I've never known Arnold to act like that, however, I honestly believe Arnie is telling the truth. He's always been oh so straightforward and to the point."

"You got that right." Helga mused. Her oh so pleasant classmate never failed to pinpoint an individual's personality.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Eh, never mind." Helga lifted a scrap of navy blue cloth scattered full of white stars to examine. "Anyway, it's no big secret. Arnold obviously pulled this little stunt for revenge. Hmm..stripes for the gents and stars for the ladies? What do you think?"

"I think that sounds ever so wonderful," Lila approved with delight, "but what makes you oh so certain Arnold acted out of revenge?"

"Believe me, I'm sure. Oh, I forgot to tell ya, I'm sewing special outfits for your solo performances. Arnold's costume will be the most special of them all, heh, heh, heh,." Helga laughed under her breath. "Well, I gotta run home now. I've got two days and these costumes aren't gonna sew themselves ya know. See ya, Lila."

"Call me if you need any help," the gentle natured girl offered.

"Sure thing," Helga let forth an insidious grin through her teeth as Lila walked away. "Nothing personal, Miss Perfect, but I won't be needing any of your help. I've drawn up my own design."

Just minutes after leaving the elementary school grounds, Helga espied two shady school boys whom she'd strangle if she knew her actions wouldn't land her in juvenile hall, but she had a better plan in mind. There was nothing sweeter than good old fashioned black mail and nobody deserved it more thank Stinky and Sid did. After all, it was they who spread the rumor Arnie was her boyfriend all around school in the first place. Sneaking up behind them, she'd startled each one by squeezing his shoulder firmly.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Stinko and Sid," she swung her head from side to side, eyeing each of them treacherously. "Playtime's over boys. Now it's my turn."

"Aw, come on, Helga," Stinky protested, "it was all in good fun-..."

"At my expense!" Helga retaliated. "Before you start wagging that loose thing you call a tongue, Sid, you better listen up or you'll be having a conversation with Old Betsy, got it, Bucko?"

"We understand," Stinky nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He realized she'd relish in toasting him if he didn't obey her every command. "Loud and clear."

"What are you gonna do to us, Helga?" Sid asked nervously quivering in his boots. He hated waiting in agony to receive his punishment.

"It's not what I'm gonna do to you two morons," she replied, jamming her finger into Sid's overtly long nose. "It's what you two morons are gonna do for me, and if you don't oblige, I'll rip off those beetle boots and give 'em to Wolfgang so he can eat 'em!"

"Ahh!" Sid screamed loudly. "I'll do anything you want, Helga, but please...not the beetle boots! Not the beetle boots! Ah ha ha ha!"

"Put a sock in it! And as for you, Stinky," Helga removed her finger from Sid's nose, poking into the tall boy's stomach, "if you don't comply with my demands, I'll see to it the cafeteria lady doesn't serve lemon puddin' for the rest of the year!"

"Aww, Helga. This really bites."

"That's what ya get fer playin' dirty," she mocked Stinky's southern drawl, only adding to his discomfort. "Ya didn't think about the con-see-quences did ya, partner?"

"We get it already!" Sid cried out in a panic, shifting his eyes around the premises. It was too embarrassing to be threatened by a girl, but this was Helga which was possibly excusable. "Just tell us what you want us to do!"

"Yeah, Helga. Tell us." Stinky had a mild habit of echoing his peers.

"Here's the plan." Helga pulled a black jewel case out of her backpack. "You guys are gonna take this CD into the music room and substitute the first track for Arnold's solo music. You will also volunteer to handle that part of our lamo performance since no one else seems to be interested in participating."

"Seems like you're tryin' to make Arnold look like a dang fool, Helga. I don't know if I can go through with this." Stinky collected his thoughts. "Lemon puddin' ain't as important as keepin' a good friend as nice as Arnold."

"If lemon puddin' won't convince you to do it," Helga snarled, exposing a pair of clenched fists, "then I'm sure Old Betsy and The Five Avengers will!"

"All right! All right! There ain't no sense in bein' so dang violent!"

"Uh, yeah," Sid piped up. At least Stinky could stay calm in a dangerous situation like this.

"We're all clear then?" Helga grew impatient with Sid's whimpering. "Now, here's what else you two saps are gonna do..."

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"You know, Arnold, I get so tired of everybody blamin' you for somethin' you didn't do," Gerald complained to his best friend as they walked home from school. "It's bad enough to have Helga on your bad side, but this whole Arnie thing? Now that's messed up."

"I swear, Gerald, I never sent Arnie over to Helga's place because he said he loved her." Arnold confided in the only person who believed him. "I only sent him over there because I needed a little breathing room. "I even started having those weird dreams again too, but I know Arnie never told me he loved Helga."

"Apparently he said something to Helga to make her think so." Gerald, suspicious of Arnold's cousin's behavior, contemplated over what might motivate the weird little freak to do such a thing. "Arnold, has Arnie ever lied to you?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Arnold shrugged, "I don't really think he's capable of lying."

"Maybe not, but let's just say, what if Arnie made this whole thing up to make himself look good and you look like the bad guy?"

"Gerald, Arnie might be a little different, but I don't think he's a liar. I know he reads labels and collects lint, but that doesn't make him a bad person."

"All right," Gerald sighed as the two climbed the boarding house's front porch steps. "I was jus' sayin'. Hey, do you think Helga might have spread the rumor herself?"

"How would she benefit from that?" Arnold opened the front door, releasing a pack of cats and his pet pig, Abner.

"True, why would any girl want Arnie as her boyfriend?"

"Ahem." Arnold cleared his raw throat, sending his best friend a sharp glare.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot." Gerald apologized, eyeing Arnold's grandma all decked out in western wear from the ten gallon hat sitting on the top of her head to the snake skin boots squeezing the tip of her toes. "No offense, but Lila has strange taste in men."

"Tell me about it."

"Afternoon, Tex!" the old woman shouted, holding up a spoon heavily coated in a thick brown sauce. "Grub's cookin' over the open fire now. Should be ready by sundown. Your partner come to join us?"

"Uh, no thanks, Grandma," Gerald declined nervously. "My mom usually has a plate ready for us kids when we get home from school."

"No she doesn't," Arnold argued. "You're mom doesn't even get home 'til-..."

"Pookie! Are you cookin' beans again?" Arnold's grandpa hollered from the livingroom. "'Cause if ya are, you better make sure the plumbing in the downstairs bathroom is working. We had a couple of serious explosions in there last night."

"Come on, Gerald," he motioned for his sickened friend to follow him upstairs. "I promised Lila I'd talk to Arnie for her."

"In that case," Gerald backed away from the banister, "I think I'm gonna take a rain check. I'm sorry, Arnold, but a couple of hours with your cousin is all I can handle."

"All right," Arnold sighed, rolling his eyes as he ascended the staircase. "I'll see ya in the morning, Gerald."

"In the morning, yeah. Don't forget to take care of that throat of yours."

"I can't even keep my friends over here because they think he's such a flake," Arnold griped opening the door to his room. "Oh, well, I might as well get this conversation over with."

Arnie sat on the red mechanical couch reading a list of ingredients from the back of his nutrition bar.

"Organic brown rice syrup, soy rice crisps, soy protein isolate, rice flour, malt extract-..."

"Hey, Arnie."

"Hey."

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Arnold asked, seating himself beside his eccentric cousin.

"Kay."

"Listen, I know you guys broke up and everything, but Lila's been feeling really down in the dumps ever since you started hanging out with Helga. I don't think it would hurt if the two of you sat down so you could explain your feelings to her. She told me she wanted to talk to you and I really think you should. Lila could use a little cheering up right now. If you don't want to talk to her, could you at least do it for me?"

"Sure." He accepted with a loud snort.

"Good. She's usually in class at least fifteen minutes before the bell rings. Now that's over with, I need to go downstairs and make an important phone call."

"Kay," Arnie resumed reading the ingredients off his energy bar. "Organic roasted soybeans, organic soy flour, organic rolled oats, organic evaporated can juice, organic soy butter..."

He dreaded calling her, but Arnold refused to let Helga believe he'd lied about his cousin to her. There was no telling how she'd react to his apology, but if he felt better by calling her in attempt to make things right, it was worth it. He picked up the phone and began dialing her number.

"Hello? Helga? It's me, Arnold," he gently eased into the conversation.

"What the heck do you want, Football Head?" Helga asked skeptically. "And what's up with your voice? It sounds like a frog crawled in there and croaked.

"I'm fighting off a virus, that's all," Arnold defended his current condition. "Look, I wanted to ap-..."

"You sure you're gonna be okay for the concert?" She might have been scheming to embarrass him beyond all reason, but she still loved him.

"I'll be fine, Helga," he assured her. "Grandma's been giving me her herbal remedy every four hours. Look, Helga, I wanted to call to tell you I'm really sorry about the whole Arnie situation."

"So, you're ready to admit you planned the 'Arnie loves Helga' thing all along?"

"No, and I didn't plan it at all. I did send Arnie over to your house to walk you to school, but you have to believe me when I say he never told me he loved you."

"Like I'm really supposed to believe that, Arnoldo! What do you take me for, a-..."

"Fine!" Arnold lost his patience, struggling a yell into the phone. "Believe what you want!"

"I will!" The sound of the dial tone informed him she's hung up.

"If she wants to believe I'm a liar, let her!" he stomped back up the stairs grumbling. "It doesn't hurt my feelings any. Oh, great. Now I'm starting to sound like Gerald."

Reentering the converted attic which he now called his room, Arnold grabbed a spare sheet and pillow from the end of his occupied bed and headed toward the mechanical couch. He realized if he didn't get any sleep from these warped dreams he kept having, there was a chance he might not be well enough to sing at the concert.

"Why does this always happen when you come to visit?" he asked his snoring cousin. He came to the conclusion he'd probably never know and fell into a deep, sound sleep.

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"If Hair Boy wants to play hard ball with me," Helga stopped to consider after she'd slammed down the phone, "then he better be ready to play a vicious game. He'll be sorry he ever lied to Helga G. Pataki! These pants will surely be a hoot once I'm finished altering them, and once Sid and Stinky come into play, Arnold will never know what hit him! Heh, heh, heh!"

The pigtailed blonde observed all her classmates' uniforms sprawled out across the entire length of her bed, then stretched the elastic on a pair of red and white striped pants she held up with two fingers.

"Perfect!" Pleased with the results of her labor, she let out a loud maniacal laugh, followed by a coughing spree and then burst into another fit of hysterical laughter.

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"Ya know, Stinky, I'm so sick of Helga bullying us around like that," Sid poured his frustration onto his best friend. "I mean, who does she think she is, threatening us if we don't go through with her plan?"

"Yeah," Stinky agreed, "And I'm sick o' her callin' me Stinko."

"We could just not do it, but then I'd lose my beetle boots and you wouldn't eat lemon pudding for the rest of the year and we'd probably both get beaten to a pulp." Sid sighed, stepping over every crack on the sidewalk's pavement.

"I guess. Helga's just too dang ornery, Sid. Someone needs to put her in her place."

"Put her in her place..." Did raised his eyes, pondering over the matter. "Hey, I just thought of something. Since she's making us pull a prank on Arnold, don't you think it's only fair she gets what's coming to her?"

"What the heck do ya mean by that?" Stinky scratched his head in confusion.

"What I mean, Stinky, is since we're being forced to do this stupid thing for Helga, we should give her a taste of her own medicine."

"Now I get it!" The southern boy continued scratching his head in deep thought. "But how's that gonna help us? Won't she beat the stuffin' out of us anyway?"

"Not if we get some other sucker to do it for us." Sid shifted his eyes in the direction of Harold, who strolled down the sidewalk with a mouth covered in Mr. Fudgie Bar chocolate. "Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin', Stinky?"

"That's a great idear! Eh, heh, heh, heh!" Stinky laughed heartily as Harold approached the two boys.

"Hey guys. What's up?" he asked after guzzling down his Yahoo soda.

"Hi ya, Harold," Sid greeted his unsuspecting classmate with an enormous grin while Stinky did the same. "Have we got a deal for you!"

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AN: Thank you for the constructive criticism.

-Jae-