A.N. okay this idea came to me while I was listening to the song hear you me by jimmy eat world. You should recognize the lyrics to that song in the story. I ask that you to listen to that song before or while you read this. I'm not going to put a summery in this because it all gets explained as you read. I would really like to dedicate this to a lot of people. Most of whom have passed away and I really hope that they know that there is someone down here thinking of them. I would also like to dedicate this to my parents. They are really what this is about…the love I have for them.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or anything by jimmy eat world!! No matter how huch time I spend wishing I had that kind of talent!!
Saying thank you…
No one knew that I could sing. Me doing this was a sort of parting gift to Esme and Carlisle. They had gotten into a car accident about four days ago. They were killed instantly. Today was their funeral.
I was going to sing as their caskets were lowered. No one knew yet, not Alice, Edward, Emmett, Jasper, or Rosalie. Carlisle and Esme were the only ones in the entire world who knew I could sing well. Not even my own parents knew. They had always told me that I should share my gift, and I was about to do just that.
There were already tears streaming down my face as I stepped up to the mic. There were no introductions, I didn't even say what song I was about to sing.
I heard people gasps as people realized who I was and what I was going to do. Sure, they thought I was simply going to talk, but even that was huge for timid Bella.
The music started and I tried to control my breathing. Now was not a good time to start hyperventilating.
"There's no one in town I know."
Even that very first line brought back memories.
The day I moved here, I fell. Of course. I needed stitches and Carlisle was my doctor. When he finished he brought me back to his house to meet his children and their friends. When we got their Emmett, Alice, and Edward were awaiting the Hales. Rosalie and Jasper showed up soon after. We became best friends fast. And I immediately fell in love.
Edward was the only single one and when I saw him for the first time I froze and lost all function for a couple of seconds. That was three years ago and I have felt the same way everyday leading to this one. But, he was clueless… figures.
Carlisle's and Esme's parting wish for me, besides to sing, was putting my heart out there. What surprised me was that they actually put both requests in their will for me to read. They had always insisted that Edward felt the same way, but, like me, was just too shy to do anything about it. That was a little hard for me to believe, but oh well. They put it in their will and I will do my best to honor their parting desires.
"You gave us some place to go
I never said thank you for that
Thought I might get one more chance."
We spent basically every day after that first one at the Cullen's house. And I will cherish every second I spent with them. My best friends. My love. My family. My second set of parents. My heroes.
I really and truly planned on thanking them for that. For being my parents. For being my heroes. For being my mentors. For introducing me to their children. I suppose that's what I'm trying to do now. I hope they can hear me wherever they are. This feels like the last chance I'll get for a very long time. Until I join them.
"What would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
Now I'll never have a chance"
I hope that they would approve of me. I know they did before they died, but how do they think I handled their death?
I know that I'm lucky. Meeting the people standing in front of me now is the best thing that will and has happened to me. I hope they think I'm strong. They really helped me with that. Without Carlisle's and Esme's advice I would not be as strong as I am now. And I'm proud. I'm proud to have known them. To have been associated with them. I am proud of what I'm doing right now. I'm proud of who they made me. I'm not that shy little girl anymore. I never got to thank them for changing me. It was all for the better. I'll never get to thank them after this. Not for a long, long time.
"May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On the sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in."
They deserve angels, they deserve heaven. I pray that they can hear me. I pray that the people in front of me understand how huge this is. I pray that they understand every word I sing and all they mean to me.
"So what would you think of me now
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that
And now I'll never have a chance."
I'm lucky. I'm strong. I'm proud.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
"May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in."
After this final farewell you need to go. Go to heaven and enjoy it. Do it for your kids. Do it for all of us. I hope you understand. I hope you can hear me. I hope they can understand me. In no time at all we will join you. We'll travel those roads together. But you need to let us go for a bit. Say hi to the angels for me.
"And if you were with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one more time
A song for our hearts so big
God wouldn't let it live
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
Upon sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in."
After the first time Carlisle and Esme heard me, they would always demand that I sing when no one was around. They couldn't talk me into singing to a crowd. Yet.
I know they wanted to watch the first time I put myself out there like that. I pray they're watching me now.
But, this song isn't just for them. It's for closure. For all of us. This is me, us, saying thank you… for the last time.
So thank you. So much.
After that last thought, the music came to an end. I looked up at the sky and said, "thank you," loud enough so that it got picked up by the mic, but it sounded like I was whispering to the crowd.
I couldn't keep myself together anymore. I had been crying the whole time, but now I started to full-out bawl. I hunched over, my body being rocked with sobs. I soon felt a pair of arms around me. A very familiar pair of arms.
