A/N: Woo! I actually managed to post a chapter within a reasonable amount of waiting time! I think that's one of the first times I've ever done that! Wow…I'm just blown away:) Hihi! Well, I certainly hope you guys will like this one! I actually enjoyed writing it very much…especially the ending! Who doesn't take pleasure in a good Ron bashing? Just kidding! ;)
So, enjoy it guys! Oh, and thank you so much to all of you wonderfully amazing people who reviewed for the last chapter! Did I ever tell you how much I love you:)
Cheers!
HermioneTwin
Disclaimer: Mwahahahaha! Greetings, my evil little minions! I have finally created a potion which will enable me to turn my DNA into J.K's! Harry Potter can now be mine! All mine! -gets so distracted by laughing manically that she doesn't notice a tiny little penguin come along and steal the potion away- Huh? Oh well…guess it still isn't mine then…-sigh-
Chapter Two
Why you Should Never Sit on a Guy
Hermione sighed dramatically as she looked down at hers hands for the hundredth time that day. What had happened that morning between Fred and her had definitely been…bizarre.
Yet, she had to admit that it hadn't been exactly unpleasant either.
Nor unwelcome. She subconsciously noted.
She just didn't get it.
Fred was practically a brother to her. She shouldn't be having thoughts about…non-brother stuff that girls usually do with guys about him. That was just plain incest!
Okay, so no it wasn't exactly incest per se, but it was still weird!
Well…it was weird if you disregarded the fact that she had absolutely loved the feel of his hand on hers. And it was also strange if you ignored the tiny detail of how she had adored the utterly perfect and happy feeling she had felt radiating between the two of them during that moment. And it was also incredibly peculiar if you overlooked the all too obvious fact that she had found his eyes simply spectacular when they had stared down at her with the most amazing expression she had ever noticed within his gaze.
Right, other than that it had been completely weird.
She sighed moodily once more and told herself to get a grip.
This was getting plain silly. She was just going to act as if absolutely nothing had occurred and that was that. She wouldn't be caught dead ruining what she had with Fred or subjecting the rest of the family to shit loads of uncomfortable moments and tension just because she had suddenly decided that she wanted something…something.
He had touched her hand. So what? She had touched hands before. Hell, she had two of them herself! No big deal, right?
And with that clear motivational idea in mind, Hermione made her way downstairs, intent on having a nice, innocent chat with her friends to relieve her from all the maddening seriousness that had invaded her thoughts during the morning.
When she got downstairs, however, she noticed that the house seemed completely vacant.
She frowned as she looked around curiously at the apparently deserted hallway.
"You guys?" She questioned uncertainly.
"In the living room 'Mione!" She heard Ginny shout from a little way off.
Rolling her eyes at her own stupidity at not having checked the living room first, Hermione made her way towards the source of Ginny's voice.
She, Harry, Ron, and the twins were all sitting in a circle on the floor in the center of the dimly lit room, apparently just chatting about something. Hermione couldn't guess the subject but she did note that George had two carrot sticks up his nose and was wagging his head around like a complete idiot.
Maybe something about walruses. She shrugged, as she made her way into the room.
"Hey, babe." Fred said cheerfully as Hermione made her presence known by jumping into the middle of her ring of friends.
Hermione scoffed at the nickname he seemed to have adopted when addressing her.
She also tried to convince herself that she didn't enjoy it in the least…
"You guys could've saved me a seat, you know." She remarked teasingly as she pointed at the obvious lack of space between each person.
"No problem there, babe." Fred said, as he grabbed Hermione's hand and somewhat effortlessly pulled her down into his lap.
"Hey!" Hermione protested weakly, as she tried to get back up.
But, Fred had stubbornly wrapped his arms around her waist and refused to let her escape and after a few seconds of pointless resistance, Hermione decided to surrender.
Besides…it was rather enjoyable, being pressed up to his chest like that.
Damn hard chest, too. She realized with a slight grin...a grin that quickly faded after noticing the penetrating and quite disturbing stare that Ginny was giving her. There was also something unnervingly smug about her expression.
Ah crap. She's never going to let me escape without putting me through the Spanish Inquisition is she? Hermione realized with a slight cringe.
Another glance into Ginny's all too excited eyes quickly confirmed her suspicions.
George too, after having removed the carrot sticks from his nose, was giving Fred a very strange look indeed, his eyes occasionally flicking over to study her expression as well. Some sort of unspoken conclusion or realization seemed to form in his mind as he uttered a small, "oh," and quickly adorned his face with an irritatingly smug smile, way too similar to Ginny's by all accounts.
Ron and Harry were absolutely oblivious to the whole situation, as Harry was busy staring off into space with a small frown on his face, and Ron was entertaining himself by eating the carrots that he probably hadn't noticed where in George's nose but a few seconds ago.
Fred seemed quite unperturbed by the whole thing. He just sat there poking at Hermione's back, generally trying to annoy her for the fun of it.
"So, what were you guys all talking about anyway?" She asked uncertainly.
Harry seemed to snap out of his trance.
"Oh, we were just talking about…" But, a loud, rasping noise quickly interrupted his answer.
Ron was choking on the carrot sticks. He had probably just remembered their previous charming residence.
Hermione rolled her eyes at one of her moronic best friends, now rolling around on the floor with his hands clutching at his neck.
"You disgust me." She sighed as she cast a well-aimed charm at the now blue figure so that the food could disintegrate.
"Thanks 'Mione." Ron said as he sat back up, rubbing at his mouth in disgust.
"Hey," he said frowning, "what are you doing on Fred?"
"Sitting." Hermione and Fred both answered mockingly.
Ron looked between the two of them, obviously confused.
"Yeah, I get that, but I mean why are you sitting on Fred?" He clarified.
"I must just seem comfy to the female eye." Fred said with a grin.
"Right, with that mushy quality you've got going on, who wouldn't want to sit on you?" George added.
"I don't look mushy." Fred said defensively, clearly offended.
George snorted.
"Hermione, do I feel mushy in any way whatsoever." Fred demanded.
"No, you're actually quite hard." She answered honestly.
"I'll bet he is." George snickered under his breath, earning himself a disgusted look from Ginny.
"Shut up, George" Hermione retorted, although she couldn't stop the amused giggle from escaping her lips.
"So, is anybody ever going to answer me then?" Ron asked once more, obviously not having heard George's comment, as he would have been sent into a mad rampage.
"Answer what?" Ginny asked.
"Why Hermione is sitting on Fred?" Ron solicited with an exasperated sigh.
"Because I needed a place to sit and Fred just happened to be available." Hermione said with as much indifference as she could manage. He was really started to stress her out.
Ron seemed to consider them for a moment, his brow furrowed in contemplation. He then proceeded to burst out laughing, rolling around on the floor once more, much like he had when chocking on the carrot sticks.
"Can somebody tell us what's so funny all of a sudden?" Harry asked hesitantly.
"It's just," Ron said sitting back up, wiping the tears out of his eyes, "for a moment there, it really looked like something was actually going on between you two."
"And that's so funny because…?" Fred questioned.
Ron gave him a disbelieving look.
"Well, come on Fred, this is 'Mione here! As if you'd ever consider her!" He exclaimed, still resisting the urge to crack up.
Harry's hand flew up to cover his face as George gave a low whistle.
"You just so screwed yourself, mate." George muttered.
Ginny had gasped out loud in outrage at Ron's comment and Hermione was currently in the process of staring a hole through his scull.
"And why exactly wouldn't he consider me, Ron? I mean, is there something fundamentally wrong with me?" She demanded heatedly.
Ron's smiling expression quickly turned to one of self-loathing.
"No! No, no, no, no, no! Nothing's wrong with you! I just meant that…well…uh…well, you know how you are 'Mione!" He exclaimed, giving everyone pleading looks, clearly searching for help.
None came.
"No, I don't actually. So, tell me Ron, how exactly am I?" She asked through clenched teeth.
"Well, you know, you like to study…a lot…and you spend most of your time in the library or alone somewhere else reading. Not that that's a bad thing, but you know, you're not very outgoing. I mean, you never do anything really fun, spontaneous or daring. Not that that's a bad thing either! It's just well, a bit boring…NO, no wait! I didn't mean to say boring! You're just…well, quiet and umm…predictable. No, forget that, I didn't say that either! You're…maturely sensible and organized."
Hermione's eyes were literally blaring holes through his head by now.
"And, you know, on the physical side…"
"Oh, no Ron please don't go there! You're in so much shit already! For God's sake, have you become suicidal or something, man?" Harry interrupted with a surge of panic.
"No, no! I was going to say that she is in fact quite pretty, but…well, not the kind of pretty guys immediately notice, you know? And…"
"Ron, shut up, shut up, just shut the hell up now!" Ginny exclaimed furiously.
"No, Gin, I was going to say…"
"Oh, please somebody just hit him so that he'll shut up already!" George groaned.
"I'll gladly do that!" Fred exclaimed, fully ready to pounce onto his idiotic brother. He probably would have too, if Hermione hadn't still been seated in his lap.
There was a slight moment of electrifyingly tense silence before Hermione got up and walked over to Ron, now towering over his completely petrified form.
"So," she began in a deathly whisper, "let me get this straight. You all see me as a boring, unsurprising girl who spends every waking moment of her oh so mind-numbingly dull existence reading or doing her homework."
Ron tried to interrupt her, but was quickly silenced by Harry's foot on his hand.
"But," Hermione persisted furiously, "who on Earth would give a shit about that right, because I've got the greatest advantage of them all! I'm not obviously pretty! Well, that's just the best damn type of pretty there is out there, isn't it? The kind that nobody can see! Isn't that just bloody peachy! I feel so overly spoiled by the heavens! And to finish it all off by the wildly hilarious fact that no guy could ever be interested in me! Isn't that all just perfect? The wonder of it all is just killing me!" She exclaimed, now full out shouting.
"I-I really didn't think 'Mione…" Ron began.
Hermione snorted. "Why doesn't that surprise me in the least?" She muttered, turning around on her heel, fully ready to storm off. She had had enough with the ego bashing celebrations.
"Hey, where are you going?" Ron called after her.
"New York city. I'll become a prostitute, get married to an eighty year old chap with loads of cash, murder him, take the money, go off somewhere in the south to lure unsuspecting males into my vicious traps to steal their stuff and piss off their girlfriends. I'll top it all off by jumping off a tower at the age of thirty. Then, maybe, you won't find me so unbearably boring." She snarled under her breath, not quite sure any of them had actually heard her.
She stomped her way all the way to Ginny's room, taking care to slam the door shut behind her, not caring if the walls shook a little and flumped down onto her bed, burying her head into her pillow.
She then proceeded to release every ounce of moisture she could possibly have within herself by crying for what felt like hours.
It wasn't until much later, when she suddenly felt something stroke her hair and tenderly take her hand, did she even bother looking up from her miserable position…
A/N: So…there wasn't much Fred/Hermione interaction, but it was still good, right? Right?
–sighs- Well, likey or no likey, please let me know! I promise to give you lots of love if you do! Random reader : But what if I don't want love!?
-thinks it over-
Well…tough! –hugs everyone forcibly-
Hihi! Cheers you guys!
HermioneTwin
