A/N: I know, I know! I suck at updating, huh? I'm so sorry, guys! I'm very, very bad and I know it! I've just been absolutely flooded with all sorts of stuff these past days! Right this moment, I should be writing a response to I book I was supposed to read in French class, actually. But, I rather do the irresponsible thing and write another chapter instead. Maybe I'll get extra credit if I translate it into French afterwards. snorts Yeah, I can just see my teacher's expression when I hand in a Hermione/Fred Harry Potter fanfic instead of a paper on child abuse. That'll really blow over perfectly, huh? ;)
Anyway! I wish you all a very happy Valentine's Day, as I probably won't be updating until then, and to all you single people out there, like myself, I wish you all a very happy Sappy Movie Marathon with Twenty Pounds Worth of Chocolate Bars and Ice-Cream Day! Hihi! Kidding! Seriously, I send you all mounds of love and joy:)
So, onto the chapter!
afterthought I think it's physically impossible for me to leave a short author's note…oh well!
Cheers!
HermioneTwin
Disclaimer: I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and OH SO NOT LIKE J.K!
…
All right, so that disclaimer isn't funny, but rest assured, I still don't own Harry Potter. dramatic sigh
Every Ego Bashing has its Silver LiningHermione tensed as she felt somebody's hand slip into hers.
She then sighed as she realized who it must be.
"Go away, Ginny." She managed to croak. "I don't feel like being cheered up or reassured or lied to. I just want to wallow in self-loathing and laugh at what's left of my confidence and dignity, ok?" She mumbled into her pillow.
"Well, is it all right if I wallow with you, then?"
Hermione jumped up in surprise. "Fred!" She exclaimed.
"The one and only." He responded. Hermione noticed the miserable look in his eyes and immediately became conscious of how horrible she must look.
"Go away." She muttered as she collapsed onto her pillow once more, shielding her face from view. "I look like crap."
Fred chuckled. "You look quite cute actually." He remarked.
Hermione snorted.
"Right. Puffy eyes, wild hair, runny makeup, raspy voice and tear stained cheeks. I'm the very definition of adorable, aren't I?" She said with a humorless laugh.
"Actually, I was talking about your particular attire. Pink pajama shorts with Cutie Pie written on your ass and an oversized black sweatshirt are actually quite nice when combined together. But now that you mention it, yes, your face is quite charming as well. I always did like the damsel in distress look." He said teasingly.
Hermione groaned as she quickly darted underneath the covers. When had she changed, anyway?
"Stop trying to make me feel better." She said with a sigh now that she was properly hidden. "I'm pathetic. I know it, you know it, hell it's basically common knowledge. It's just depressing to have it thrown in your face like that when you're least expecting it. Plus, a tiny portion of me was kind of hoping that I wasn't quite as wretched as I now know I am." She said dryly.
Fred sighed as he lay down beside Hermione's dejected figure.
"You're not pathetic, 'Mione. Nor are you wretched. Come on, my brother's the biggest idiot that ever walked the surface of this Earth. You don't really believe him do you?"
Hermione shrugged. "It's not just him." She mumbled. "I'm not deaf, Fred. I hear what people say about me when they think I'm out of earshot. Know-it-all, bookworm, nerd, loser, beaver, savage…"
"Savage?" Fred interrupted.
"The hair." She answered gloomily. "And it's not as if I'm mean to all those people. They're all people with whom I speak with on a daily basis and generally try to be as nice to as possible. Half of them aren't even Slytherins. And yet, it doesn't seem to matter how kind I am, they always find some kind of degrading word to insult me with whenever I'm mentioned in a conversation. I suppose I'm just too maturely sensible and organized, to phrase it as Ron did, for them to care." She finished with grim chuckle.
Fred sighed as he tried to roll her around to face him. When she refused to budge an inch he simply settled with taking her hand in his once more.
"Those people are all idiots who have no life whatsoever and are purely jealous of your absolute gorgeousness and bright character. It's hard not to envy someone who manages to ace every single one of her classes and look good while doing it when you're not even capable of stringing a proper sentence together without coming down with a migraine. You must consider the amount of Advil bottles these poor people must go through every day, Hermione. It's really quite tragic when you think about it."
Hermione was starting to smile unwillingly. Fred seemed to sense this as he plowed on with his rant with even more conviction and comical passion as before.
"Not only that my dear, but you must also consider how lonely it must get for those pitiful little brain cells, stuck all the way up there, all by themselves, in those miniscule little cages that they seem to call brains. The loneliness of it all should bring tears to your eyes. I wouldn't even be surprised if a few of them decided to jump out of their owner's ear in a desperate attempt at suicide. That is actually the case of Ron's now deceased brain cell. May he rest in peace, the poor little fellow. He never had a chance, did he?"
Hermione was now absolutely shaking with silent giggles.
"And then there's the fact that most of them look like they've been run over by a tractor or are the product of one of Crabbe and Goyle's many wild nights or something. It must be very hard indeed for them to stare at such an adorable witch as yourself, when they could double for Snape and nobody would tell the difference."
Hermione was positively laughing by now. The image of one of Crabbe and Goyle's many wild nights had just sent her over the edge.
Fred smiled triumphantly as he now rolled over her giggling form with ease.
"So, in conclusion," He continued, staring into Hermione's now glowing eyes, "I really don't think it's a good idea for you to move to New York and become a prostitute."
Hermione's eyes widened. "You heard that?"
"Of course I did. I'm not deaf either, babe. And I must say; I really don't think it's a very good plan. I'd think a bit before buying that plane ticket, if I were you. I mean, if you become a prostitute, then I'd quite simply have to become a hit man and kill every single one of your clients. Think of the blood bath, 'Mione! The New York homicide rates will shoot up terribly, and that isn't good for anybody, my dear." He concluded.
Hermione kept on giggling for a few minutes before staring up into Fred's now much happier eyes.
"You know, I don't believe a single thing that you've said, but you have managed to cheer me up a lot more than I would of thought possible tonight. How do you always manage to do that?" She asked with a hint of wonder in her gaze.
Fred shrugged happily.
"It's a gift, I suppose. And everything I've told you is true 'Mione. You're beautiful, smart and basically the most amazing girl I know. You're just too modest to ever admit it to yourself. That's another trait that makes you so perfect, I guess." He said sweetly.
Hermione shook her head disbelievingly, a smile playing on her lips nonetheless, before sighing happily.
"Thanks, Fred. Sometimes, I really don't know what I would do without you." She said quietly.
"Move to New York?" He suggested innocently.
Hermione laughed.
"Probably." She said simply.
They stared at each other for a couple more minutes, neither wanting to be the one to break eye contact.
Fred suddenly beamed. "I can think of something that will cheer you up even more." He said.
"What?" Hermione asked suspiciously. "Fred, I'm not letting you get me drunk again, I'm warning you!"
Fred chuckled at the memory.
"No, no don't worry, it's nothing like that. Do you trust me enough to tag along with no questions asked?" He demanded.
"Of course." She answered, not really even stopping to consider if she should be agreeing to this or not. His eyes had somehow become absolutely intoxicating and her intellect, which he had previously been praising, seemed to have gone down a couple notches.
"Then follow me, babe." He said happily, jumping up and grabbing Hermione's hand to pull her up and out of bed as well.
"Fred?" Hermione suddenly whispered uncertainly, just as he was going to lead them out of her room.
"Yeah?" He asked as he turned around to face her.
Hermione took a deep breath and leaned over, kissing him softly on the cheek. She lingered a moment longer than she probably should have and slowly pulled back.
"Thank you." She said again in a breathy whisper.
Fred seemed completely frozen in place for a second before a blinding smile erupted onto his now beaming features.
"I should cheer you up more often." He concluded, as he turned back around and led Hermione off to God knows where, hiding his traitorous blush from view.
A/N: A bit short, I know. Sorry about that! I hope you all still liked it though:) Can anyone guess where he's taking her too?
If you get it right, I'll send you REAL LIVE cough-fake-cough COOKIES! nods convincingly So, review my pretties, review! And I'll update as soon as I can:)
Much love!
HermioneTwin xx
