"L…L… are you awake?"
Hurt to move.
Eyes so sore. Keep them closed.
"L, if you can hear me…"
Throat so dry.
"Please open your eyes for me."
Force them open. Light hurts, hurts so much… just want to stay passed out forever.
There's a face… face in the light.
Is this heaven?
Words fade in and out. Force yourself to listen.
"L, I know he can't ever replace what you lost… but he looks so much like… and a genius at so young……"
Manage to focus eyes.
It is a face. A pale white face… with snow hair. Eyes as black as pools of night. An angel?
No… it's him…
"Passed with flying colours…."
Though they ache so very badly, reach out your arms. Feel the small, warm body placed on your chest. Warmth floods whole body at that.
"His name is Near… parents died in a plane crash… look after him…?"
Shake head against the pillow. That isn't right. His name isn't Near. You know what his name is, and though it's impossible, you know it's him.
"Oliver."
"No L, it's not Oliver."
"Oliver." Arms close around him, like a little, living teddy. You need it to be Oliver, even if it's only for now.
That voice still protest's it's not Oliver, but in your mind, it's him, and anyway, your mind never lied to you like the world did.
L+L+L+L+L+L
"L… it's Mello…"
"Mello."
Can't open your eyes again. They took Oliver back eventually. Said they'd bring him again though. Somehow you don't think they will.
How sad that little voice sounds.
"T-the doctor said you're not fighting it. Said they can't do anything for you if you won't try and fight."
What would be the point?
Hear tears. Tiny sniffles.
"You gotta get better L. It… wouldn't be right if you…" choking, holding back the D word. Feel a square shape being pushed into your hand. Covered in foil?
"You can have my chocolate… but you have to promise to get better, okay?"
Manage a groan. Maybe he'll stop talking… his voice hurts your head.
"Say 'Yes Mello!' L!!" urgent little voice demands. He always hated being ignored. He pulls on your arm. He doesn't even realise how much he's hurting you.
"SAY IT!"
You can't. It hurts too much to speak. His voice makes your ears ring.
"Ung." You manage to force out. Little red and yellow dots of pain flicker before your eyes.
Feel warm, unconscious space grasping you again. Fall into it.
L+L+L+L+L+L+L+L+L
"Hey dude. You awake?"
"Nn."
"It's Matt. I'll try an' keep it short, ok?"
Faint bleeping sounds. Is he playing a game?
Of course he is, it's Matt.
"All right, level twenty. Ok, listen carefully now. The doctors say you're dying, because of that stupid stunt you pulled. I know, I know, you had to go see your family and home one more time, all that movie crap. Frankly, I don't much care if you want to die here and now or not, none of my business, you know?"
Bleep.
"But it's really upsetting Mell's. He's been praying every night for you to get better. Even said he'd give up chocolate for a whole month and give the money to the church if you'd get better. I don't want him like this."
Bleep. Bloop. Ne-ne-ne-nee.
"Heh, awesome, new weapon." Cough. "Anyway, here's a little walkthrough for you. One: your mum and dad are dead, some guy shot them. Two: your little brother is dead, disease got him. Three: you're low on hit points. Four: Just because your entire family is gone, doesn't mean you can take the easy route and die too!"
Almost open your eyes. Easy route? This is easy? How can he possibly think all this pain is easy?
"Ah, so you can hear me then. Good. I mean it L, you can't die yet. Just because your blood family's dead doesn't mean you're alone in the world. People here care about you dude. Mello's been crying all the time. Wammy hasn't slept. Roger's popping headache tablets. The other kids are all miserable. So snap out of it and fight!"
Never ever thought it'd be Matt.
Crazy little Matt with his face glued to a computer.
Never thought it'd be him who made the most sense.
Dying is the easy way out. Anyone can die, all you have to do is give up. It's easier to die than anything else in the world.
Living is the hard part. Staying alive is the challenge.
Of course Matt understands. That's how video games work, you can die early, but it's more interesting to stay alive.
Blee-blee-blee!
"Game over… Continue?"
