The second installment of Shinobi Heaven, a NUMA-WAFFLE story, I have been upgraded into KING NUMA-WAFFLE, not sure what's new, but I am just better.

Thanks to Beezleboss for the review, EVERYONE ELSE REVIEW.


Chapter 2 Adapting to death

Most people take time adapting to the fact that they are dead, especially the people who were killed in their sleep. Jiraiya didn't have this problem, because he was not dead, his will power re-brought him back to life when he was sinking into the watery battle field. He had washed up on a women's beach his first thought was "I guess I did die, well heaven looks nice." He started to feel all the pain from his wounds, the shock of Pein's true identity kept the pain away. He then realized that he was not dead and in heaven, all the women were ignoring him. He thought about his greatest book and finishing it, he then saw even more beautiful women, "The book is now on hold, HELLO GIRLYS COME TO JIRAIYA!"

SLAP. "Yes I'm still alive."

Sasori had returned to his flesh and blood form, this was not to his liking, the wooden body which he was so accustom to over the years had all the weapons for any situation, and now he only had flesh, bones and blood. "Warmth, I forgot what it felt like, it's so…warm."

"What is Sasori-sempai?"

"The feeling of the sunlight, I forgot what it was like to feel with real skin, it is so strange."

"Really, well, so this is our after life, it's a bit different from what I expected, a lot less flames and bad things."

"Are you so unprepared that you didn't know what Heaven looked like?"

"HEAVEN, so all the bad things I did have been forgotten?"

"No you foolish boy, good and bad meet in the same place, it would be horrible if how you lived determined where you wound up, imagine hundreds of kind people running around, they would all get so bored that they'd try and kill themselves. All the evil people in one place, the place would have no victims, so sad that world would be."

"Hey Sasori-sempai, why did it take you so long to get here, I mean if we all meet in the same place?"

"Well it took the organizers of bodies a long time to find my original body, why do you think you have a whole body and not fragments?"

"I didn't really think about it much, so where were you the whole time, if you didn't have a body?"

"In a giant waiting room, it was so boring, I wished I could have done something besides count the green tiles and how many pink penguins there were."

"Well how many were there?"

"None, I just thought of random things to count, most of them didn't exist, I mean it was just a waiting room, not a zoo. There was nothing to do; I only kept my sanity by watching my life flash before my eyes."

"Doesn't that happen as you die?"

"Do you have any idea how long I have lived, I think Kakuzu will still have his flashing until next year."

"How did you know he had died?"

"I AM SASORI; I have guessed that he would have been killed, being the weakest of us and also being the greedy failed medical ninja that he was, and I saw him being dragged into here. Who killed you by the way?"

"Itachi's brother, I used my giant suicide special attack, and he lived somehow, I think that someone up there… around here really wants him to stay alive."

"Well I don't want him and Itachi here for all eternity, Sasuke wouldn't shut up."

"Hey honey do you want to go out with a real man?"

"Ok let me know when he gets here."

"You're looking at him!"

"Ha you're over 60, like you'll ever get a date with us."

"Hey I'm only 53, and besides I haven't told you who I am yet, I am the Gallant Jiraiya, mighty toad Sannin!"

"Oh in that case could you buy me a drink?"

"Sure." (In his mind; works every time! I am brilliant.)

Later as Jiraiya was going to pay, he remembered that he had copies of his books with him: "Here you go, and keep the change."

"Sir you gave me a sighed copy of Jiraiyas book, if you were the author I could accept it."

"But that is me, look inside, the picture is me!"

"No you're older, at least ten years older."

"Ok well what if I was to give you the new book as well?"

"The last one was three years ago."

"Oh really, then I guess you don't need this one." Holds out the new book, a holy chorus is sung, the waiter finally sees that it is Jiraiya, snatches the book: the same way starving children do to food, and then pushed them out of the shop.

"Sasori-sempai what was it like to change your body into a puppet?"

"One of the greatest moments in my entire life, I was complete; it's the same as when you built your ultimate work of art."

"Well I was not too happy, I was celebrating, but I knew I was going to die."

"Well I was not too happy with building parts and then hacking off the real parts. Do you have any idea how painful it is to chop off your strong arm?"

"No, and I don't want to know, but I've had both painfully removed."

"That's not the same!"

"How is that not the same?"

"Because I said so, and what I say is absolute!"

"Then why were you not the Leader of Akatsuki?"

"Because I let someone else be, for I AM SASORI!"

"That's makes no sense."

"You just lack the logic needed for it to make sense."

"NO ONE HAS THAT KIND OF LOGIC!"

"I do for I AM SASORI!"

"Are you going to answer all questions like that?"

"Yes for I AM SA-."

"Hey what's that?"

"What, oh that's"- THWACK- "MY KIDNEY!"

"Sasori-sempai I found your flesh forms weakness!"

"What was that for?"

"You were irritating me, and now I can hurt you without the use of Chakra or my clay."

"Ha but now you don't have any clay." – THWACK –"MY KIDNEY!"

"Hey what do you do in the afterlife anyway?"

"Lots of things, you can talk, eat and play games."

"That's a lot like being alive."

"So what's your point?"

End of chapter 2


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