5

5. EXAMINATION

"'O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!'" I said quietly, and Sabine's face contorted in confusion.

"I told you that my English wasn't very good," she muttered. I hadn't even realized what language I was speaking.

"My, my, you Belgians and your ignorance of our wonderful language. You should really be more open-minded," I teased, trying to emulate her admonishment of me.

She scowled at me over her cup of tea, and took another quiet sip, waiting patiently for me to say something more. I refused to comply. I couldn't stop the events of this morning from replaying in my head.

XXX

"I don't need another towel!" I heard Sabine exclaim as she yanked the door to her room open.

I couldn't stop the shock from crossing my face.

Her hair was clean and still wet. She wore nothing but a towel, wrapped tightly around her body. But I could see the shape of her body, her legs and most of her breasts, quite clearly. As in the alley when I first met her, the human, the masculine, desires fired through me in a way that hadn't happened since Susan. I knew that my desire flashed across my face, and tried to contain it.

At first she looked pleased, even relieved, to see me. And then her face was filled with the same embarrassment that I felt, and her hand moved immediately to the towel, tugging it upward. Which didn't really help matters. At all.

"I don't know what you did," she finally said, breaking the tension, "but thank you."

"I'm sorry? I don't know what you mean."

"When I woke up this morning, the clerk of the hotel knocked on my door and asked me what I needed. I told him I needed a bath, and within ten minutes, the entire staff was heating water to fill a tub and bringing back as much soap as they could find from the market. When I retuned to the room, I found a new jacket, new blouse and skirt and a pair of shoes waiting for me. They have to be the only new clothes in this entire city. I can only assume that was your doing." She smiled at me brightly.

"Nonsense. I think it's your winning personality. You're just so nice that no one can deny you," I couldn't help but smirk.

She rolled her eyes at me.

I'd only given the clerk whatever rubles I could muster and asked him to take care of her. How was I to know that would entail such service?

"Would you wait for me downstairs?" she asked. She tried to make her tone dismissive, but I sensed an air of worry as well.

"Of course," I replied. "Please, take as much time as you need. You'll find I'm very patient, once you get to know me." I grinned, and disappeared before she could say anything else. My proximity to her exposed body was bringing out all of the wrong thoughts and desires, the ones I needed to avoid.

Despite myself, I was elated when she met me in the lobby. She had eschewed the new jacket, which she held in her arm, for the one I'd given her.

"Would you like to get some tea? I don't trust anyone in Europe to make coffee. Except the Italians." I hoped my offer was simply pleasant.

"That would be nice," she said, and I turned and held the door for her. I motioned down the street, and fought off another wave of pleasure when she wrapped her arm with mine.

I tried very hard to concentrate on the dog-like aspects of her scent and not the warmth of her arm on mine as I led her to the café.

XXX

"I think we have a few more things to discuss," she said, after a long moment of silence.

"Oh? And what might that be?" I knew exactly what she wanted, but I wasn't quite ready to divulge my secrets. It was horribly selfish of me. I could hardly imagine the self-loathing she was feeling. I could make her feel like less of a monster. Only I did not want her to consider me a monster as well.

She sighed, annoyed. "I want to know more about me. About what I am. And I want to know about you. What you are. But you already knew that."

"I've already told you what you are." Best to keep the focus on her for as long as I could.

"But what does it mean?" Sabine's look was frightened now instead of annoyed.

"You already know the basics. Three nights a week, during the full moon, you…are not yourself."

"No," she whispered. "No, I'm not. Did I kill that man, the first night? Am I a murderer?"

"You are most certainly not a murderer. But yes, the beast inside of you probably killed that man. And it's probably killed others." I knew this would cause her pain, but I could see no way around it. It was most certainly the truth, as I could attest first hand.

She didn't say anything, and after a moment, a tear ran down her cheek. I longed to reach out and wipe it away, but that was a mistake the night before, a mistake I would not make again.

"What is it that I become?" she finally asked.

"A monster. A rather vicious one. A highly skilled predator. Near the top of the evolutionary scale. You become a hunter the likes of which the world has rarely seen, stronger and faster and smarter and deadlier than any other creature on the planet." With one exception, I withheld.

"Are you here to kill me, then. Is that what you are? A demon hunter?" She refused to take her eyes from the table, which made her expression hard to read. And I so enjoyed looking at those eyes.

"I am much worse than that, but you aren't far off about my intentions." I needed to be honest. She needed to know the danger that I posed to her. "I have been hunting for one like your monster for nearly thirty years. We call your beastly side Children of the Moon. And your particular beast killed a very dear friend of mine."

She rose from the table immediately, and turned away, moving with impossible quickness to the café door before I could finally catch her. I gripped her arm tightly, and she tried to shake my hand away. She was so strong that she nearly succeeded.

Her face was full of tears when she looked at me. "Kill me then!" she shouted, and the proprietor stared at us in confusion.

"I can't," I said, in a low tone. "That's the problem."

"Then tell me everything. Why can't you? What do you want from me?"

"I don't know." It was the only response I had.

She looked at me again, her face hardening. And then she slapped me. Her strength was so great that I actually felt the blow, and I released her. She left the cafe. I couldn't stop myself from following.

"Sabine, please," I begged as I caught up with her. She was heading back towards the Vistula.

"Either kill me or leave me alone if you don't want to tell me the truth,' she said, refusing to look at me. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into an alley, ignoring her protestations.

"What the hell do you want from me?" she finally shouted, and I saw a pedestrian across the street look at us curiously. I pulled her further into the shadows, and pushed her against the alley wall, so that we stood only inches apart.

"I'm a vampire! I drink human blood to live. I'm stronger and faster than anything you've ever met. I'm a mass murderer the likes of which you cannot comprehend. Your beast is my only natural enemy on this earth, besides others such as myself. I wanted very much to kill you when I found you in that alley, because you killed my best friend only hours before. But I couldn't because I do not believe that you and that beast are the same." I exhaled as the last of my revelation escaped me. I felt better and much worse at the same time.

"But why!" she exclaimed.

"Because I want to be different. I'm trying very hard not to be the creature that I am." I could hardly believe how honest I was. Which made her reaction that much more painful.

"So what, you're a vampire with a heart? A vampire with a soul? I don't know what the hell you really are, or what game you are playing, but stay the hell away from me. I survived on my own for three years. I don't need your help. Not if all you really want to do is kill me. So you might as well get along with that. Otherwise, don't speak to me again."

She waited for me to release her, and marched out of the alley as soon as I did.

I did not follow. She had it right. I was a killer. A part of me had wanted her dead, though that part was gone. A part of me was still revolted by the monster inside of her, though nowhere near as revolted as I was by the monster that was me, body and soul, if I had soul at all.

XXX

I crouched atop one of the many ruined buildings of the broken city, staring into the night.

How had I managed to ruin everything so magnificently? I thought that my intentions were good, even if my reasons were faulty at best. Yet I had probably done more to hurt Sabine in a day's time than she'd been hurt in years. She was right. If she could survive for three years as she was, then what I had done to her could only make it worse. She'd seemed so desperate in the alley, and on the park bench. But I'd only increased her suffering. I could not help her. I couldn't even help myself.

I'd fought the overwhelming urge to follow her all day. I hadn't moved since she'd left me and I'd found this spot, overlooking the Vistula. I had not breathed or blinked, had not shifted a muscle. I'd simply tormented myself with my thoughts. I was very accomplished at that.

Thus I didn't catch the scent of the new vampire until he was upon me.

I saw the grey hooded figure move silently down the street and knew the movement was unnatural. I launched myself from my perch, clearing a city block. I had to find Sabine's scent before he did.

The vampire waited for me when I reached the street. He was enormous, and I knew my strength could never match his.

"Tell me where it is," the vampire said. "Or not. I really don't mind killing you." I saw the smile beneath the cloak.