Ranma Saotome: Transgender Warrior

Chapter 3


Ranma sat in a full lotus position as she surveyed the kaleidoscope of foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush, and lipstick before her. Confident that everything was in place, she took a brush in each hand and furiously began putting on the makeup. Once Kasumi had explained the overall goal was balance and harmony, she could approach the task as a martial art, and she already felt close to mastering it. She gave herself one last look in the mirror, nodded in satisfaction, and carefully put everything away.

Kasumi was just setting out breakfast as Ranma came downstairs. They exchanged good mornings, and Ranma asked, "Any word from Pop or your dad?"

"They just called again last evening to ask if any underwear had gone missing. I can't understand why that's so important."

It was a mystery to all of them. Soun had just been reading the paper one morning as he always did when his face suddenly paled, and he ran to find Genma. After a short whispered conversation, the two announced they were leaving on a training trip, and left less than ten minutes later.

"You've got to admit the house has been a lot calmer this past month," remarked Nabiki, "and just look at Ranma; do you really want daddy to make Akane marry her?"

"Hey! What do you mean by that?" shouted Ranma.

"I mean, we'd all probably be happier if Akane married someone who didn't look so nice in that girl's uniform. It was a compliment."

Ranma grumbled anyway, and Kasumi concluded, "I guess that he... SHE is happier as a girl, so I suppose marrying Akane wasn't meant to be."

"Not to mention the fact that I don't want to marry anyone," said Akane. "Come on, Ranma, let's go."

As the two girls walked to school, Ranma complained about Nabiki and Kasumi while Akane defended them. Despite the bickering, they were both careful not to let things escalate. The argument was winding down as they reached Furinkan and heard someone yelling, "Ranma Saotome! Where is Ranma Saotome?"

An oddly dressed teenage boy was the cause of the disturbance at the school entrance. He was dressed in rugged green and yellow clothes, wore a huge backpack with a bamboo umbrella atop it, and had a yellow and black bandanna in his hair. He had a desperate and frantic look in his eyes as he asked each student if they'd seen Ranma Saotome, and they all rushed past without answering. His eyes went wide as his gaze turned to Ranma and looked like a man who found water after weeks of wandering in the desert. "You! You're Ranma Saotome aren't you!"

"Um... yeah. Who wants to know?"

The boy looked thunderstruck. "How could you have forgotten me?"

"Well I've met a lot of people. Could you give me a hint?"

"I am the man you spurned and fled! Because of you I have known hell these past six years!"

"Let's see... six years ago I was at an all boys junior high." She noticed that a crowd of students was watching the confrontation. "I mean I met all the boys I knew at that school -which I did not attend because I'm a girl."

"Liar!" shouted the boy. He shouldered off his backpack and drew his umbrella. "Don't pretend you don't remember what happened between us, Ranma!"

"Bread!" shouted Ranma suddenly. "You're the bread boy! We used to fight to get the last slice of bread at the cafeteria every day! If you're still upset about that, I'll buy a few loaves for you."

"The feud between us has gone much farther than bread, Ranma. What you've done to me can only be paid for with your life!"

The boy charged and swung his umbrella at Ranma in a downward arc. She dodged aside, and the impact of the attack left a crater in the concrete. Just then, the final bell for classes rang, so Ranma said, "Gotta go," and sprinted into the school. When she got to homeroom, she saw she'd lost the strange boy.

Akane joined her and asked, "What did you do to make that guy so angry?"

"I don't know; all I can remember was the bread thing."

"Well he didn't seem fazed to see you as a girl. How many guys in school knew about that?"

Everything clicked together in Ranma's head. "Just one..."


Two ten year old kids in matching school uniforms marched purposefully down the street with a dog at the head of the procession. "Why do we have to follow this dog to get to your house?" asked Ranma.

"We just do," growled Ryoga. "Shirokuro knows where she's going."

"All right, well are you sure your parents won't be home when we get there?"

"Well they might be back, but they've been gone for a few months now, so it isn't likely."

"A few months! Shouldn't you call the police or something?"

"Nah, they get lost all the time. Hey, why have we stopped?"

"Well the dog stopped at this house; is it yours?"

"Oh yeah! Good girl, Shirokuro! Come inside."

Ranma followed Ryoga and looked around in amazement. There were bite marks on all the door knobs as if they were regularly opened by Shirokuro, and the rest of the furniture showed the marks of being used by the canine just as often. Despite this, the house was spotlessly clean, and the kitchen was well stocked with food for humans and dogs alike.

"All right," said Ryoga, "you said we could spar when we got here, so let's do it!" Shirokuro barked, and Ryoga said, "Oh yeah, there's no fighting in the house. Let's go to the empty lot out back." After heading for the door he'd just come from, Shirokuro guided them to the lot through the back door.

The two kids practiced their moves on one another all afternoon. Ryoga was the toughest kid Ranma had ever fought that was her own age, and she appreciated the challenge. Ryoga certainly was strong, but his technique was very basic. He was too stubborn to try something new until getting beaten with the same trick a few times in a row. Still, Ranma recognized he had a real warrior's spirit and was just as dedicated to the art as she was. He improved as the day wore on, and his boundless endurance let him score some hits as Ranma got tired. She winced at each blow, and told herself she'd never let the fight go on this long in a real match.

They quit once it got too dark to see, and Ranma asked, "Could I stay over your house tonight?"

"I guess so," said Ryoga. They went back inside to find dinner had already been laid out, and Ranma called her dad once they were done eating.

After Ranma finished marveling at seeing Shirokuro put the dishes in the sink, she said, "Why don't we go play in your mom's room."

"What do you wanna do there?"

"Just dress up and stuff."

"What fun is that?"

"Ummm... it's good to know how to disguise yourself -like a ninja!"

Ryoga agreed to that, and they had Shirokuro show them to the room. Ranma dived into the makeup while Ryoga looked on in confusion. "You aren't disguising yourself. You just look weird."

"Just you wait!" said Ranma defiantly. She put a shawl over her head and used a long shirt as a dress. "What do you think now?"

"Wow, I'd have never known it was you," said Ryoga in appreciation.

"Thanks, do you think I look cute?"

"Oh I dunno, uh..." Ryogo started to feel uncomfortable as Ranma approached him with a strange look in her eye.

"I'm a ninja and disguised myself to infiltrate the enemy base. I've got to seduce the sentry to get into the general's chambers. He thinks I'm cute and lets his guard down."

"Ranma, what are you doing?" said Ryoga in a panic.

She cuddled up to him and whispered, "Do you think I'm cute?"

"I don't know!"

"Just say yes."

"Yes?"

"Thanks," Ranma gave Ryoga a peck on the cheek and backed off smiling.

Ryoga just stared for a few seconds as trickle of blood came from his nose, and without warning he yelled at the top of his lungs and launched himself at Ranma with a jump kick. It caught her off guard, and the impact sent her flying into the wall. She got up just in time to dodge a punch and beat a hasty retreat out of the room.

"Calm down Ryoga! I'm sorry!" said Ranma as she stumbled downstairs. Shirokuro was barking loudly, but Ranma ignored her as she ran out the front door with Ryoga in hot pursuit. After running for what seemed like hours, Ranma managed to lose him. She tossed the shirt and scarf in a dumpster, used the water in a puddle to wipe the makeup off her face, and trudged home.


"Ranma, how could you do that to Ryoga?" asked Akane. They were at lunch now where Ranma had finally given her the full story.

"Why are you taking his side? I was just a kid fooling around."

"You just don't kiss a boy like that."

"Well I'm sorry, but I never got taught the rules," Ranma said bitterly. "How would you like to go your whole life without anyone saying you're cute?"

Akane paused for a moment before responding. "It wasn't Ryoga's fault you were unhappy, and it looks like what you did really hurt him."

"That jump kick hurt ME! We should have been even after that. -Oh no, not again," Ranma sighed as she heard Ryoga calling her name from across the room.

"Die, Ranma!" shouted Ryoga as he leapt from one table to the next scattering food as he went. He swung his umbrella at Ranma's table and demolished it as he landed. Ranma had escaped the blow, but she still got hit with the mystery meat, stale rice, overcooked veggies, and other splattering lunch food.

"Look, Ryoga, I'm sorry," said Ranma as she dodged attacks that sent more tables and food flying everywhere. "Do you hear what I'm saying? I AM SORRY I KISSED YOU! It was six years ago, so could you get over it already?"

"The nightmare of that moment hasn't ended for me, Ranma! I never found my way home after chasing you that night. I haven't seen Shirokuro, my parents, or my home in six years! I've wandered the earth a lost soul with only the thought of revenge to keep me going!"

The cafeteria was pretty thoroughly destroyed by this point, and the martial artists circled each other in the detritus of splintered tables painted with the remains of a hundred lunches. "I'm sorry you got lost, Ryoga. That must have been tough for a kid. Couldn't you have called for a taxi or something?"

"Oh yeah... but I could not bear showing my face to the world for it to see my shame! I was branded an outcast, and I knew none would grant me aid or shelter!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Ranma, but at that moment Ryoga grabbed a chunk of a table and threw it at her. She ducked, but it smashed into the wall narrowly missing several students huddled in terror.

I've got to move the fight out of here, thought Ranma and countered Ryoga's next punch with a judo throw that hurtled him into the kitchen. Ranma followed cautiously and scanned the haze of steam and smoke for her opponent. Ryoga popped up holding three kitchen knives in each hand and threw them at Ranma. Her shoulder was nicked by one of them, and she muttered, "Alright, Ryoga, I'll give you a fight." She grabbed a pot in each hand and smashed Ryoga's head in-between them. Amazingly, he recovered quickly enough from the blow to hit Ranma in her stomach with his umbrella.

Ranma stumbled back gasping for breath as her vision blurred. She tumbled to the side on pure instinct and heard Ryoga's umbrella clang on something right behind her. She stayed low and rolled under tables to keep away from Ryoga long enough to recover. The air was cleaner near the floor, and as her senses cleared, she became aware of a hissing sound. She rose, and the smell of rotting eggs confirmed her suspicions. "Ryoga, it's a gas leak! We've got to get out of here!"

In response, her adversary moved to cover the door. "It is fitting that we both die in this battle, Ranma!"

"But what about everyone else in this school? Hundreds of kids could die!"

He hesitated and then nodded, "Fine, we'll finish this another day." They both left the kitchen and helped the rest of the students in the cafeteria to get out. Ryoga himself ended up carrying out a boy who'd twisted an ankle. There was no more drama and no explosions because the gas got turned off in time. By then, Ryoga was long gone.

Once the excitement had died down, Ranma realized she was still covered in cafeteria food. "Ryoga, I'll get you for this, even if it's the last thing I do," she muttered as she drew stares walking back home.

She tossed her clothes in a trash bag, and spent an hour washing her body and hair. After that, she soaked in the tub to nurse her bruises until she picked up a voice from downstairs: Ryoga. She dashed out of the water, wrapped a towel around herself just in time to hear Akane say, "Why don't you get cleaned up in here?" She frantically looked for a place to hide and settled on leaping up to the ceiling. As Ryoga entered, she was supporting herself by her toes on the door frame and her fingertips on the light fixture. She did her best to look away as Ryoga stripped and quietly let herself down to slip out once he was busy cleaning himself and his back was turned.

Akane was waiting in the hall, and gasped when she saw Ranma emerge. "Did he see you?" she whispered.

"No! What's he doing here?" Ranma whispered back.

"I followed him after he left the school and saw him bust open a soda machine so he'd have something cold to put on his head. You gave him some nasty lumps."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll be careful not to hurt the next maniac who tries to kill me!"

"Keep your voice down! I told him that I knew what you'd done to him and that I'd bring you to our place since you'd be back here eventually. He seemed shocked that I'd be nice to him and couldn't stop saying 'thank you' as I brought him in."

"Of course he was surprised! No sane person would invite someone who just trashed a cafeteria and nearly blew up a school into their home!"

"He won't do that if he doesn't see you. Just stay out of sight until I can figure out why he's still so mad at you."

"Who cares? He's a psychopath."

"He's an honorable martial artist. He saved those people in the cafeteria."

"He saved them from the danger he put them in." muttered Ranma.

At that moment the bathroom door started to open and Ranma leapt behind it. "Oh, hi, Ryoga. Done so soon?" asked Akane.

He was only wearing a towel as he opened the door wide and squished Ranma against the wall in the process. "Yeah, I scrubbed my hair and stuff, but I figured these clothes are finished, so I'd just get a new set from my pack. I don't feel comfortable being naked if Ranma could come in here at any second."

"I don't think she'll be back for a while, but I'd be happy to take you to your pack. –It's down here."

The pair walked downstairs as Ranma peeled herself off the wall. She spent the rest of the afternoon sulking upstairs in her room while Akane chatted with Ryoga. They had dinner without her and she didn't get to eat until Kasumi brought up some cold leftovers. She even had to sleep in the attic because Akane was afraid Ryoga might wander around the house.

The next morning, she had to sneak into her own room to get dressed in a fresh girl's uniform and settle for leftovers again as she met Akane to go to school. "Tell me you have a plan to get rid of him." she said with an edge in her voice.

"It's really funny and really sad at the same time." mused Akane. "I finally got him to talk about it after dinner last night. He tells me that the reason he's still so angry is because, and I quote, you 'made him gay.'"

"That's unbelievably stupid -even for him."

"I know and I tried to explain things to him. He just said that once you're gay you can't go back no matter how much you'd like to. He said that being gay was particularly bad for him because you're the only guy he's ever liked."

"What?"

"He only liked you a little bit in that instant you kissed him. He thinks that one moment is enough to make him gay even though every other moment since then he's wanted to kill you."

"All right, what's the plan to knock some sense into his head?"

"I'm actually still working on that."

Ranma groaned and spent the rest of the day pondering the question herself. Every clever idea she had ran up against the wall of Ryoga's stupidity. She was still clueless after school and resigned herself to another dinner of leftovers. It started to rain that evening, as Ranma lay awake in the attic. She was about to fall asleep when she heard something downstairs. She rushed to the window and saw Ryoga sitting in the backyard under his umbrella. Curious, she crept onto the roof and was surprised to hear him start talking to himself. It must come from being alone so much.

"Oh Akane, words can't express the happiness I've felt this past day. You've taken me in despite knowing my shameful secret, and your kindness makes me believe I might someday recover from the horrible anguish I've lived with all these years. At the same time, I feel that anguish all the more intensely now that I'm here. I love you, Akane, and know I can never have you because... I'm gay."

A tile came loose, and Ranma slid off the roof landing right in front of Ryoga. "Come to laugh at your handiwork, have you?" shouted Ryoga as he closed his umbrella and started swinging. "Do you think it's funny that I've fallen in love? Are you proud to have dragged me down to your level? How many other innocent men have you turned gay?"

Ranma shivered in the rain as she dodged Ryoga's attacks; all she was wearing was a nightshirt. "You're not gay, Ryoga! You can't turn someone gay just by kissing them!"

"You lit a desire in my heart which has destroyed my life!" Ryoga spun his umbrella open to hit Ranma with a spray of water and took advantage of her surprise to land a solid blow to her left shoulder.

Ranma leapt up onto the yard's fence to retreat. She couldn't let this fight last long if she wanted to win it. Ryoga followed her up onto the fence and advanced on her with umbrella thrusts. Ranma grabbed the umbrella and delivered a kick to Ryoga's head. It didn't seem to faze him too much and he swung her off the umbrella into the qoi pond. Ranma scrambled out, dodged the leaping attack she knew was coming and used her position to roundhouse Ryoga into the pond. She kicked him in the head when he surfaced, again and again. As she waited for him to come up a fourth time his umbrella flew out of the pond, and she had to block it instead of dodging. It still felt like it almost did enough damage to break her arms, and the attack gave Ryoga more than enough time to surface and escape.

Ranma hefted the umbrella, but didn't feel she had enough strength left in her arms to swing it. The kicks to the head made Ryoga sway on his feet, but he still grinned as she struggled. "Heavy, isn't it?" Ranma set it over her good shoulder and watched Ryoga coldly. He continued, "I've carried that umbrella all across China looking for you, but that was a light burden compared to the one you gave me."

"I know you don't believe me, but I never meant to hurt you."

"Why else would you kiss me?"

"Because I liked you!" Ranma was shocked at her own words. She'd spent years denying them, but the passion of the moment brought them to the surface. "You were like me, a true martial artist, but you were a guy -a really tough guy. I wanted you to say I was cute and like me; do you really hate me so much for wanting that?"

"I suppose I can't blame you for what you wanted, but I'll never forgive you for what you did."

"So I should have been miserable and alone my whole life?"

"Well... you could have kissed someone else who was gay."

Ranma blinked in amazement. "Look at me, Ryoga. Do I look like a guy now? Did I look like a guy then?"

"Underneath your clothes you've got a... a thingie."

"Is that what you liked about me back then?"

"No..."

"Then that wasn't a gay kiss! You didn't see me as a guy and I didn't see me as a guy. In our own heads it was a girl kissing a boy, and it's the stuff going on in your head that makes you gay or straight."

Ryoga looked like he was struggling with himself, and Ranma realized she had the knockout punch. "You love Akane, and gay guys don't fall in love with girls." That did it and Ryoga fell to his knees. Ranma walked over and handed him his umbrella. "You'll need this if you wanna stay out here and think things over a bit. I'm going to bed."

Ranma woke up sore all over the next morning and stumbled downstairs without changing out of her nightgown. It didn't help her mood one bit when she saw Genma and Soun were there.

"Ranma, my boy! Good to see you! Akane says an old friend of yours stopped by the dojo while we were gone," said Genma voice so cheery it made Ranma's head hurt.

"Yeah, we had a great time catching up on old times." She looked around the table and saw it had already been picked clean. "So why did you two take that training trip? Any plans to take another one soon?"

"I don't think so," said Soun. "A month ago I noticed an ad in the paper saying that some fool called Tatewaki Kuno was offering a reward for someone to help him find our old master." Akane and Ranma shared an intense look of panic as Soun continued, "We didn't part on good terms, so it seemed prudent to get out of town for a while. Fortunately it was just a false alarm."

Ranma mulled over the issue as she rubbed her aching arms. Maybe she should go looking for Happosai herself. Living with him couldn't be worse than living with Pop… could it?


Author's Note: Thanks to my beta readers SoulCry and fuyukazehime