Old Vices

Heh, sorry for the long absence and total lack of update, I've gotten side-tracked. And I'm sorry to say I wouldn't expect another update for a little while, I have SATs and AP exams coming up…after those though…. Okay, onto info about this fic. Atton carries on a little too far when arguing with Kreia, his punishment? One of his worst nightmares made real. And HUGE thanks to Muhnemma for beta-reading for me!!


As I stalked up the loading ramp it was hard to not let my utter glee show on my face. Though glee probably isn't the right word for it, I don't think there is a word, in basic at least, that describes exactly how I felt about what I was about to do. Brushing past Bao-Dur I made my way hurriedly down the corridor to the female dormitory. I didn't even bother to hide the smirk that over came my face as I entered the room to see that hag sitting in meditation, I even got the new unique experience of feeling surprise pique in her aura as I entered.

"Why are you here?"

I must say I was mighty tempted to give some stupidly cryptic jedi response, but I settled with crossing my arms over my chest and glaring down at the hag.

"Because I told her, I told her EVERYTHING." I waited with school-boy eagerness for shock or panic to roll through her aura. Which is why I was very confused when she stood up and turned around, smirking right back at me.

"Ah, and so now you are free?"

She asked with a slight hint of mirth to her voice that infuriated me, but I clenched my fist for a moment instead, the jedi code drifting idly through my mind.

"Yeah, so no more of your "requests", no more threats," I even leaned towards her to emphasize myself, "You and me, we're done."

But no, the walking corpse wasn't intimidated, she even started laughing, and I could sense her amusement growing as I clenched both fists and my jaw tightly.

"You truly thought I held you? Then you are even more of a fool then I thought, what truly held you," she now held up her remaining hand in a clenched fist, then opened her wrinkled palm to reveal nothing. "Was you, and I'll show you why." The fingers of her hand curled as they tensed, her pointed nails making a cage over her palm, "I once held the galaxy by the throat, as you once held her by the throat, and let her die slowly."

My stomach clenched as, for the second time today, I was forced to recall that day.

"Your emotion at that point is what you fear," she flicked her wrist suddenly and I felt something cold, something dark, stir in the back of my mind, "and I can unlock that part of you anytime I wish."

The stirring turned into a solid block of ice in my stomach, and she knew it too, her smirk growing wider as she continued.

"It is a simple thing, the human mind, once it feels something strongly, it becomes etched into the memory, the subconscious. Shall I show you? The part of you that hungered to kill jedi, that took pleasure from it?"

She stretched out her hand again, and for a brief moment the fear that some simple little flick of her wrist would undo everything I had fought for the past seven years to create, but she instead called my lightsaber to her hand. "Or perhaps you will continue to listen to my council, and I shall ignore your pathetic attempts at freedom."

Maybe it was that she holding the 'saber that Anarui had given me, or that fracking condescending tone she used or perhaps she once again called me pathetic, but against my better judgment I forcefully snatched back the light saber and snapped at the witch.

"You don't control me, once upon a time others controlled me, but that was then and they sure as hell were a lot more powerful then you."

I knew I had made a mistake when an utterly pissed look passed over the witch's face and I suddenly found myself slammed against the wall, an invisible hand clasped tightly over my throat. I hissed shallow inhalations as I clawed at the invisible force around my neck. She seemed amused by this as she approached me, her stump of an arm raised while her free hand reached up to touch my forehead.

"You need to be put in your place, FOOL. I have grown too complacent and you have grown too attached to the Exile, as she to you. This will solve ALL of that…"

Her words were then lost in my grunts of pain as the sensation of a drill piercing entered my brain. The my stomach plummeted in fear as I felt her painfully crash through the layers and layers of mental shields I had developed, blazing a trail of black pain as she plunged mercilessly through my mind, and I knew what she was searching for, and what she would eventually find. Bile flooded my mouth as I felt her plundering stop. My mind was filled with a dark cackling that was barely recognizable as my own voice and I felt him start to move, and he took his damn sweet time, sliding slowly through my thoughts like a slow acting poison. I felt myself seize up, trying to brace myself against him, but Jaq would have none of it.

Oh come now, you must be at least a little happy to see me…

I gritted my teeth and slammed my head against the wall, trying to dislodge his growing hold on my mind, but it was like trying to pull out of the grip of a Terentatek. I then opted for the jedi code, holding it in my mind as a source of light. His darkness recoiled against it sharply and I could feel his anger errupt in me, violent anger seizing my chest.

How dare you mar us with that unholy shit! How dare you defile us with that filth!

There is no emotion there is only peace…There is no emotion there is only peace… I felt him seethe under these words, I started to repeat it more firmly, my weapon.

Oh, you stupid little excuse for a jedi.

His presence seized me again, renewed with a black fury he engulfed me, it was like drowning in a tar pit, his blackness flooding every neuron of my brain except that fragment of light that was still chanting. Thereisnoemotionthereisonlypeace thereisnoemotionthereisonlypeace…it was becoming harder to think now, his cackling echoed harshly in the cavern of my skull…there is no emotion, there is only peace…there is no emotion…there is no…

I was done.

Jaq opened my eyes and smirked, but not my cocky little assured smirk but a truly wicked smile that was laden with bad intentions. He didn't bother to even look at Kreia, or survey the room he was in. He knew what he wanted, and thanks to my memories he knew exactly where it was. I cursed and ranted inside my head as he started to head for the cockpit, where I knew she was…

By some unholy miracle everyone else was off the ship, leaving him alone with her as he strode down the long corridor that lead to the cockpit. The whole time I thrashed and yelled, but it was like trying to yell and move in solid black ice, his dry chuckles his only response to me. I could feel his excitement rising as he approached the door. Errant thoughts of different techniques he could use drifted about his mind and he presented me with images of what would surely come. Had I been in control of my body I would have vomited. As he grasped the latch to open the door I quieted myself with a single comforting thought: she'd know it wasn't me immediately, she'd know and she'd stop him, she was a full-fleged jedi, and I…him…He must've heard me because he relaxed his stance into mine as he opened the door, sucking his black aura down and choking me with it.

She turned in the co-pilot's chair, a worried frown on her face and for a moment hope sang in me.

"Are you alright? I felt something dark moving around in the ship."

Jaq offered a clean smile and reached into my pocket, pulling out a metallic band he'd scavenged off one of the slavers and held it up, "Found one more of the slavers lurking around."

To my amazement she bought this and her frown faded into a small smile and she relaxed in her chair, then reached into her pocket.

"How about a game of pazaak? I can-"

"Would you stand up for a sec?" Jaq interupted her, she looked up at me quizzically but obliged, and Jaq took a step forward, our eyes locking for a moment before he said in a mocking tone, "It just never ceases to amuse me how much shorter you are then me."

And she took the bait, her eyebrows furrowed and she brought her hand forward, ready to poke me in the chest when Jaq grabbed her wrist and sharply whirled her around and slammed her up against the closed door. I internally groaned as he grabbed her other wrist and sharply yanked both arms above her head.

"But don't they say something like "big messes come in small packages"? And you certainly have made yourself quite the mess little jedi. Destroying colonies, causing space battles, secret jedi academies, you do quite a lot for the last of your kind…"

She stared in shock for a moment, trying to comprehend what was going on, "Atton what are you talking about? Let go of my arms!"

Jaq just shook his head, tightening his grip on her wrists as he threw up a wall of barely contained lust to sheild my presence as I felt her blessed light skim our mind, "Can't do that babe, cause you see, I've got plans for you and I…"

She just rolled her eyes and started tugging sharply with her shoulders to free her wrists, "Funny Atton, very cute, but I don't really think we-"

"It doesn't matter what you think little jedi, I said I've got plans and so that means you're going to stick around for them."

To my amazement and horror Jaq then touched the force. I watched her eyes bloom in sudden surpise as he sent stasis through her arms and shoulders. A glint of fear touched her eyes as well. Jaq then rolled the whole weight of my body into hers, effectivly trapping her against the door. Shame and disgust rolled through me as I knew she was feeling Jaq's excitement and arousal pressed against her, and an equally disgusted look passed over her face.

"Atton, what the force do you think you're doing!?"

"Sorry Atton isn't here at the moment babe, Jaq will be more then happy to take care of you though."

"Jaq? What the, what's going on Atton? Right now before I have to slam you into-"

At this Jaq sneered, letting his full presence be known through the force and to her. It was like finally getting a chance to take a breath after holding it for hours, giving me at last some space within my own brain.

"Sorry to say, but you'll be doing no such thing babe. You know I just can't believe my luck, all of the jedi I've done you have to have the nicest face…"

Jaq moved her wrists to clasp both of them in my right hand as the other one drift down to gently cup her cheek, and I renewed my thrashing and screaming.

I'd just sit back and enjoy this kid, you're not going anywhere.

NO! NO! I yelled, I wasn't going to sit back, this ended here, it ended now! He just chuckled and let that hand drift down the smooth skin of her neck, lingering over her racing pulse. Gods, she was scared…

"Atton, just today, just a few hours ago remember, remember what you said. Remember how it felt to step into the light, remember! You wanted to be a jedi to protect me!"

I felt a sliver of his hatred slide through me at her words, his grip tightened on her neck, his words a harsh whisper, "You'll pay for the damage you've done you filthy jedi whore," he paused a moment to compose himself, that damn smirk crossing my face, "but first I'm going to have my fun with you." His hand slid down to her shoulder, then slipped under her brown robe, and despite myself part of me felt a tendril of thrill as my hand cupped her breast through the linen of her tunic. His next words killed the feeling though. "And I'm going to enjoy making you enjoy it you little bitch."

She then closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face and I wanted to gut myself.

You should be thanking me, you want to touch her even more then I do, I'm just giving you what you want. Taking what you apparently lack the nerve to take.

Suddenly I felt a tendril of the force that wasn't Jaq pique around me, and Anarui suddenly gave a huge thrash and a force wave that almost threw Jaq off. Almost. Instead he pressed himself more forcefully against her. He then threaed his fingers forcefully in her bangs and slammed her head forcefully against the wall. I watched her eyes close and my hand resume it's former place.

I shook myself violently. No no no no, not like this. I don't want it like this, I don't want her like this. This isn't how it was supposed to happen… He didn't listen. After a gentle squeeze, he moved the hand down the side of her torso, coming to rest on the side of her broad hips, using his thumb to firmly massage the tensed muslces of her stomach. He then started leaning towards her, I knew his intentions and it sent me into a hysteria. NO! You will not take this, I shouted. I then started to thrash and fight, clawing at the inside of my brain.

You're not going anywhere traiterous scum, just settle down

She opened her eyes again, utter fear showing on her face and it drove me insane. I had never seen her afraid before… She was afraid of me and the first time I fucking kiss her will be as the monstrosity she was trying to save me from...

NO! Atton was strong enough to leave the sith behind, he was sure as hell strong enough to do this, he was a JEDI dammit! He was a jedi! He was a jedi and he was going to protect her!

He was now close enough to her face to see the sweat that had collected at her temples, he could feel the puff of her shallow breathes against his skin.

Collecting himself for instant he thrust himself upwards in his mind and grasped onto the tendril of the force that Jaq was using to subdue her and he yanked it down to himself. This caught Jaq's attention, and suddenly I was bowled over by the blackness, but I was not going down this time. The light…I need to focus on the small glimmer of light I had, her light, their light. But it was a glimmer among an ocean of blackness…No no, not like this no…No his light, it had to be enough…

His nose touched hers and Jaq closed his eyes. Dark triumpth ringing through my mind…

NO!

Everything was dark. But it was warm. I opened my eyes and I was staring up at the durasteel ceiling of the dormitory, the witch then leaned over me, her face unreadable.

"Suprising, you have more will then I first thought. Reguardless this has taught you a lesson."

I sat up as memory came flooding back to me and I looked around fratically, trying to remember how I had gotten back here, realization then hit me as I considered the witch's words.

"It wasn't real…"

Kreia just chuckled, "You actually thought that I would risk her life to prove a point to you? Fool. You're strong willed fool, but a fool nonetheless. Reguardless, you will not speak to her of what happened, and I trust you know how to sheild it from her?"

I noded sullenly.

"Good," she sat back down, her back to me, "now leave me, murderer. I have no more words for one such as you."

I bit back another retort as I picked myself up, stumbling out of the room, seeking refuge in the cargo hold. Once I was sure no one else was around I collapsed to my knees, cradling my head in my hands. I don't know how long I sat there, trying to nurse the damage in my brain, but suddenly I felt a small hand on my back, and a soothingly cool presence flood my mind. I opened my eyes and looked up to see her knelt next to me, smiling reassuringly down at me. After a few minutes she offered a hand and helped me stand up. I looked down at her thoughtfully for a moment, before placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Promise me something Anarui."

She looked slightly confused, but nodded.

"If I ever pin you up against a wall, please, immediately and throughly kick my ass."


Well? Good, bad, aweful, through rotten tomatoes at me? Let me know, I really love hearing from people!! Not much else to say beyond that. Anrui Yuy out!