Old Flame, New Burn
Um, I offer no excuse for the extremely long gap, I got bored and lazy and thats about all there is to it. If if helps you to feel any better, I have started the next installment and since I am on vacation I have plenty of time to write, but that's not a guarantee, so moving on... This fic plays the idea of a face coming out of Atton's past to haunt him again, but in a rather humorous manner... enjoy
Today has been a good day. Scratch that, today has been a GREAT day. Our fearless leader decided that hacking our way through the jungles of Dxun and the palace of Onderon merited a few days of absolutely nothing while she finished some business with TSF on Telos. Now, Telos was no Nar-Shadaa, but considering I hadn't had access to alcohol or a pazaak table in a couple of months, that cantina was looking mighty inviting when I arrived at the entertainment module. Not only a does today that not involve sitting on that damn ship or being shot at, but it happens to be a 2-for-1 special day at the Catina, so I can get wasted for half the price. Yep, today has been one damn good day.
"ATTON! ATTON RAND!!"
Suddenly all I could see was peroxide blonde and crimson red as I was hit with the overwhelmingly sweet smell of Nabooian delphiniums and two arms had a stranglehold on my neck. My mind raced for a moment, trying to think of who would dare….
Oh, frack.
My stomach turned into permacrete as the arms unwound themselves and I was turned to face a heart-shaped face with two huge violet eyes and a very red frowning mouth. I opened my mouth, no clue what the frack I was going to say, but before I could even get a sound out I received a resounding slap across the cheek.
"Nice to see you too Relena." I muttered as I rubbed my tender cheek.
She simply combed her hair back from her face with her two-inch long nails and frowned at me.
"You better have a damn good explanation of why you left me Atton!"
Well, now I remembered one of the reasons, her voice child-like voice grated like nails against durasteel.
"Relena, we had a two night thing it's not like we were-"
"You said you loved me!"
You know, I REALLY don't remember saying that, but considering how much juma I had drank when I met her on Corellia, I can't honestly say I'm surprised.
"Relena, we had had, what, how many jumas that night?"
"You said it while we were in bed. The following morning"
Okay, now I REALLY don't think I did that, I'd be too worried about loosing an eye to one of those claws of hers.
"Look, 'Lena," I leaned forward looked up earnestly at her, "I was doing both of us a favor. We were both broke-"
I was interrupted by her tinkling laughter that was like a drunk banging a metal pipe against carbonite.
"You…you thought I was BROKE Atton? Oh my," she covered her mouth with her hand as she continued to giggle at me. Her eyes went deadly serious after a moment and she lifted up her right hand and snapped her fingers. I looked up to see two huge Mandalorians appear out of seemingly nowhere to stand like huge armor clad columns on either side of her. Despite myself, all I could wonder was how two huge Mandalorians had been hiding in a well lit cantina…
"I guess I might've given you a false last name when we met but," she held up her left hand to me now, and my eyes bulged when I saw the massively intricate ring on her index finger, when I saw the crest in the center my jaw almost dropped open. She just chuckled at my reaction.
"Yes, Relena Kang. My recently deceased father has left me control of all his funds and," her eyes flashed dangerously as she finished, "All of his assets, including these two Mandalorians." She now leaned forward, placing her hands on my legs and clenched tightly as she smiled sweetly, "So now I have everything I want, except for one thing, do you know what that is Atton Rand?"
I shook my head, not trusting myself to say something to get one of those Mandalorians free reign to remove my head.
"A beautiful white wedding with a certain pazaak-playing pilot named Atton…" She now dug her fingernails fiercely into the muscles of my legs, "And I won't take no for an answer."
"Look, look now babe," her eyebrow twitched angrily and my words were cut off by my own grunt as her nails dug in to the point they were breaking the skin beneath. "Look, ugh, just hear me out babe. Shouldn't you be marrying some business-
She then interrupted me again by slapping me viciously across the face, she was livid now.
"That is the point. Papa always wanted to tie me to one of his schmuk business partners. Well now that he's gone, I can marry whoever the frack I want. And I want something as far as I can possibly get from those insanely rich, smug, conniving nerf-herders."
The panic I had previously felt was quickly turning into anger. So not only was she blackmailing me into marrying her, but she was dong so to stick it her old man!
"Well sorry to-"
Her face went unnervingly calm and spoke in an equally controlled, equally frightening voice, "There is no 'sorry', there is 'yes' and 'yes Relena' ."
I heard one of the Mandalorians load his blaster for effect, and my mind started to race, desperately trying to think of anything that would get this psycho woman off me.
"Well 'Lena, I'm currently…dating another-"
"Then end it, I don't care if one of my guards has to shoot her, you'll end it-"
"-Guy."
It took a second or two after I said the word to comprehend what exactly had just popped out of my mouth and what it meant in conjunction with the other words I had previously said, and as Relena's eyebrows slowly rose up her face, I could tell she was going through the same process.
"What…did you say?"
Yes, what did I say? Did I just tell this woman about the gouge my leg open and have me shot on by her two Mandalorian body-guards that I couldn't marry her because I was seeing another guy? Wow, even I did not know I was THAT desperate... But you really can't take something like that back once you say it. I guess I can go with it…
"You see 'Lena…when I met you I was…" sithsblood lying normally wasn't this hard, why the frack am I tongue tied now!? "Going through a stage of…denial. And now I've found…someone…" Wow I'm desperate. But I have to admit the look of stunned horror in Relena's face was almost worth it…hey…she might ACTUALLY buy this! Then her expression suddenly shifted to suspicion, her eerie violet eyes narrowing dangerously, "Introduce me to him."
"…wha?"
She was frowning now, "You think I'm going to let you out of this without some sort of proof? Introduce me to your boyfriend and you'll never have to see my face again." She then retracted her claws from my legs and stood up, arms akimbo on her hips and still looking like she wanted to kill me, "You have twenty minutes to bring him here and prove to me you're gay, otherwise you're getting on the Phoenix with me whether you like it or not. "
I nodded slowly as I got up and she turned away, I had started to back up when she turned and added, "Oh, and Atton? Don't even think about trying to escape, my father had strong ties with Czerka Corp, if you even set a foot inside the hanger," she made a fake gun with her right hand and 'shot' at my left leg, she smirked as the blood left my face. "Go."
Like a magic word it snapped me out of my reverie and I dashed out of the cantina, nearly crashing into a couple TSF officers as I sprinted towards the shuttle. I had to clear a couple of the benches, and shove myself in front of an ithorian, and some military officer in a HORRIBLE orange jacket, but I made it onto the shuttle back to the residential modules. It was then that I realized that I actually did have to bring some guy back with me to pose as my…boyfriend…for 'Lena. Since I left my credits in the cantina I didn't have enough to bribe any residents into helping me, so that left someone on the Ebon Hawk. So who was there? Mandalore…not going to happen, and if memory serves me, in Relena's mind, interspecies relationships 'don't count' so Bao's out… So who did that leave? I know I'm forgetting some one…who does that-
I felt very sick to my stomach as I remember who the other male member of the Ebon Hawk crew was…Mical…The whiney, chivalrous little dweeb disciple.
"There has to be another way out of this…" I muttered, but the mental image of being chained to an altar in ceremonial dress next to 'Lena popped suddenly into my head, "But I don't have time to think of it…"
When I stepped into the module we were residing in, I saw Mical, Anarui and Mira were playing some kind of board game while Mandalore watched from a distance and Bao'dur worked on his droid. Frack what was I going to say?
"Um, erm, Mical?"
Blondie immediately lifted his head, flashing a cheesy smile, "Yes Atton, is something the matter?"
I noticed that all eyes had turned to me, I could NOT ask this in front of the group. "I, erm, need your medical opinion about something…but I don't want to discuss it before the peanut gallery…" Wow was I on a roll for lying today…
Blondie nodded understandingly though and stood up, I ignored the raised eyebrows I got from the girls and the snort from Mandalore and quickly walked outside, making sure Blondie followed.
Once outside he turned to me with that somewhat creepy motherly look on his face and began, "Now, Atton, what seems to be the-"
"Look, I'm not really sick okay? I just need a favor from you…A really big one…"
Now Blondie looked slightly confused, "Eh, sure Atton, what is it? Why didn't you ask Ana or one of the others though?"
"Cause," I swallowed down my pride and the taste of pile in one go, "Cause you're the only one who can help me."
I didn't know if I should feel relieved or slightly unnerved as a somewhat excited smile passed over his face and he nodded for me to continue.
"You see, there's this girl I knew a ways back, and, well she came into a lot of money and…well she's going to force me to marry her unless I come back to the cantina in the next ten minutes with," my tongue stumbled over the next words as I gritted them out, "a, a boyfriend. So she'll believe I'm gay…"
It was slightly satisfying but more unnerving to see the smile fall somewhat on his face as he seemed to have a moment of indecisiveness.
"She has two huge Mandalorian guards who will haul me off if I don't comply or prove I'm…not available." I added, trying to sound pleading without choking on my tongue.
I almost wanted to laugh at the grimace his face formed but held myself in check, my shoulders relaxing with relief when he nodded.
"As long we don't tell the others, I don't see why not."
Before he could get another word out I grabbed his forearm and started running to the shuttle. While we sat on the shuttle we did not look at each other, just sat stiffly upright, counting down until the shuttle would reach the entertainment promenade. Once it did we both reluctantly stood up, staring resolutely ahead I clutched Mical's hand in mine and out of the corner of his eye I saw him look at me questioningly.
"I don't know where she will be waiting. The more convincing we are the faster this will be over with."
He nodded and we stepped out. I kept my eyes focused on the cantina door, trying to ignore the auras and impressions of reactions we were getting from people, especially the ones that seemed to think we were a good couple… Upon entering the cantina I saw 'Lena immediately and smirked as her jaw dropped at the sight of Mical, my confidence boosted somewhat I started walking closer to Mical, this would be over in no time…
"Well here he is 'Lena. Mical, meet Relena Kang. Relena, this is Mical."
Mical released my hand to bow and muttered some formal phrase, but once he straightened, he slid an arm around my waist. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to shudder but instead offer a half smile.
"See 'Lena? Satisfied?"
Her narrowed eyes showed she was, and the interrogation began, "Where did you meet?"
"Dantooine." Mical quickly supplied and I mentally shuddered in relief, at least we weren't going to bumble on the first question.
"How long ago? What was the circumstance?"
"About 6 months ago, I was doing…" Frack, what were we doing when we met blondie?
"He's a little embarrassed to talk about," Mical quickly finished, "He was working as a salvager in the ruins jedi enclaves, I was in the library doing research."
I resisted rolling my eyes upon the memory of our first meeting, "Oh yes, you bowed the moment we, I, entered the room, such a gentleman," I was pleased that I didn't sound…too sarcastic as I said that.
Mical smiled that cheesy smile at me, "Just enough refinery to counter-balance your roguishness Atton…"
Mical's apparent enthusiasm for his role was beginning to scare me to I turned to 'Lena again.
"Is this going to take much longer Lena? We were planning to leave the planet a little later today and our-"
"Kiss him."
My stomach plunged and I felt all the blood leave my face at her words, the one card I had been praying she wasn't going to pull. No way was I going to kiss Blondie in the middle of a crowded cantina!
"Well, you see 'Lena, that is, Mical and I don't like to be…affectionate, in…public."
"I don't care if we get a private booth or a private fracking hotel room, you kiss him and prove he's your boyfriend or you're coming with me!!" 'Lena was livid now and I could see the fear and rage in her eyes. That alone gave me the confidence to turn to Mical, who nodded nervously then started to lean in. Just pretend it's Anarui…You're kissing Anarui…It's Anarui you get to kiss to save your asss…It's Anarui… As the mantra went through my mind I closed my eyes and met him halfway, filling my mind with vision of Anarui in her underwear, and pressed my lips to his…
It's Anarui, it's only Anarui, move your lips cause it's Anarui- OH FRACK HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY CHEEK!- It's Anarui…it's Anarui hand on your cheek, that's sliding… -GAH NOW IT'S IN MY HAIR!!- Anarui…naked…hot Anarui…Anarui pinned beneath you playing with your hair…Anarui…
Finally the fates felt fit to release me from this torture and 'Lena forcefully shoved us apart, "THAT'S ENOUGH! Gah that's enough! I get it! I get it! Should've guessed from before, you were queer in bed …" With a quick snap of her fingers to summon her guards and one last dirty look at Mical, 'Lena strode out of the cantina and out of my life. Force be thanked. The swell of smug of pride I felt as she stalked out was quickly deflated when Mical cleared his throat beside me. I then quickly glanced at him and wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve as I muttered, "I owe you one, Mical."
He simply nodded, "I assume this is to stay between us?"
I resisted the urge to be bitter and sarcastic, but I genuinely did owe the guy. He did just save my ass in a rather, queer, fashion. "Yeah, we never mention this again."
As we sat in the shuttle back, again, not looking at each other and stiff as boards, Mical finally spoke again, "Oh and Atton?"
"Yeah?" The shuttle had reached out stop so we both stood up and Mical looked at me out of the corner of his eye-
"I'm sorry to say, but you are a terrible kisser."
fin.
Well there you have it, funny? Boring? Please let me know, but as one last note, I'm not a homophob, and I really hope this fic did not give this impression, and I really didn't mean for Atton to be either, I think he was more freaked out that it was Mical then that it was another guy he had to kiss. So, with that said, Anrui Yuy OUT!-
