I'm writing you this because I want you to understand that I miss you. It's been a long time since we've seen each other. Too long. And I want to see you again, but I know you're busy. I understand. Please know that I understand. But it still hurts me how much I miss you, even when you're standing right in front of me.

Do you remember when it was just you and me? Before Tamaki, before the Host Club. Before Haruhi. Do you remember that, Takashi? Because I do. I remember when we could walk towards and away from each other whenever we wanted to, and I didn't have to worry that you wouldn't be able to find your way back to me. I miss those times. But when we joined the Host Club, I knew that those times were over. And I was okay, because you were still going to be with me every step of the way.

But your legs are longer than mine, Takashi, and sometimes you don't realize that you're taking bigger steps.

Maybe you forgot, but you didn't always eat cake. I've always been able to see you sometimes when you didn't know I was looking, and not one time did I see you eat anything sweet. So I shared my cakes with you. Maybe you didn't notice, but I'd never shared my cake with anybody before. And after that, I always shared with you.

And then Haruhi came along, and I saw the way you looked at her. I saw it from the very beginning. And it scared me. But I shared my cake with her, too, because I thought that I could still be okay if it was the three of us rather than the two of us. And nobody else noticed, but you've been eating less and less cake every day ever since we met her. I'm not sure if you even noticed, yourself. But I did.

And that day that she walked out of the club room, you stood up and left your cake on the table to go after her. But even then, Takashi, I was okay. Even though it hurt me that you would rather follow her than eat cake with me, I was okay. I didn't run after you, and I didn't try to stop you, because I understood that you had to do what you had to do. Even then, I was okay, because even though you left your cake, it was still waiting for you when you came back. I would never close that door, Takashi. Because even though you keep walking away from me, you have to know that I'm doing everything I can to make it easy for you to find your way back. I'm short and sometimes you can't see me because there's something in the way, but I'll always be there, if you ever decide to try to find me again.

But then you came back, and you knew that your cake was waiting for you. We had waited so patiently, the cake and I, for you to come back so you could eat it with me, but you didn't even pick up your fork one time all afternoon. And that was when it really started to get to me. You knew where I was. There was nothing in your way. The door was open. And you only had to take a few short steps to get to me, but you stood right where you were because you liked it better. I know that you will never look at me the way you look at her, Takashi. I've known that all along. But couldn't you at least do me the favour of looking at me at all?

I miss you, Takashi. I miss you, and I want you to know that I'm not okay. I was okay for a really long time, even when most people wouldn't have been okay. I made myself be okay because I knew that this was what was best for you, but everybody has their limit, and I pushed mine just a little too far, because I thought that it would mean it could still be the three of us. But I stopped being okay when I realized that no matter what I do, you're never going to come back to me. I always knew that one day you were going to start walking towards her, but I was still okay then, because I didn't realize that that would take you so far away from me. But who am I kidding, Takashi? It was never supposed to be the three of us.

And I understand that, Takashi. Please, no matter how critical I may seem, know that I understand. But it still hurts me how much I miss you, even when you're standing right in front of me. Because I miss the days when you would take smaller steps on purpose so that you wouldn't get too far ahead, and the days when there was nothing you would rather do than eat cake with me. But the Takashi that spent those days with me left the club room that day and didn't come back, and I miss him. So if you ever see him around, please make sure to tell him that I miss him. And I want to see him again, because he was never too busy for me. But if you don't know where he is and can't find him to pass on my message, I understand. Please know that I understand.